Kobold King

They had kissed through his entire speech. Though he was now committed to keeping his temper, Lightwards ground his teeth as he watched Funtimes decorate a stick and proclaim she had the best boyfriend ever. The boyfriend she had kissed through the entire speech. He had opened his soul and exposed the raging fury within, and she'd been too busy gluing herself to her boyfriend's mouth to pay attention. He opened his own mouth to comment on this, but fortunately Voidgaze interrupted him before his temper surfaced. “I´m sorry but it was kind of something personal," the white Epic said, scratching the back of her head, "so I didn´t want to spill it and now I think they might be threatening me, I´m not sure though, actually I´m not even sure if I should feel threatened if they are trying to threaten me but I already said the word threaten often enough so maybe you should just ask them yourself, ´cause I have no clue what to say.” "No one is threatening you, Rita Blue," Lightwards said slowly, ignoring the fact that he'd done just that a few moments ago. He only half payed attention to her--he didn't even reprove Sam when she stepped over and took a Twinkie out of the Warrior's hand. Instead, he stared at Traveler. There was something about the smug little man that got under his skin, that made him question what he thought he knew about Epics. A true Epic was a force of nature unto himself, like a thunderstorm driven by reason. This pathetic little man was nothing without his girlfriend. He wouldn't even teleport without her, and not even the smallest of confrontations could go by without him figuratively clinging to her apron strings. Lightwards took a step forward, unwrapping his own pastry and taking a small bite. Chewing thoughtfully, he swallowed and took the talking stick from Funtimes. "This is the beginning of a noble Empire," he said, giving a forced smile to the room. "And I am its head. You can see my misgivings at being lied to, especially in front of guests." He nodded at Sightline and Voidgaze before continuing, leaning over and staring into Funtimes unreadable eyes. "You're hiding behind a facade of whimsy," he whispered, eyes narrowing. "To hide the fact that you're an Epic with your own agenda. I try and I try to work with you on your terms, but if our goals conflict, an alliance cannot stand. So please tell me: what is it that you're hiding from me?"

I do think that this Hemington fellow's hatred is fierce enough that he'd do better with Nighthound's abilities. If my hunch on the hatred-Epic correlation is correct, then Nemington could probably use a gifted ability with far greater proficiency than Sam or Revolution. (I really like the idea of seeing Nighthound's gifter abilities used a little more freely. In Remington's case, it could also be really cool for character development.)

I could do that. He's put on his Faux Affably Evil act at the moment, but he's paranoid and very much knows that Funtimes and co. are keeping him in the dark. Also, next on my quest to ponify all of Voidus' Epics:

Bet you're not counting the subtle color code differences in their gemstones.

Broccoli could fit with the botanist backstory. Ponified the momentum twins: Two ponies for the price of one create code.

...he can pull splinters out of people? Trimmer just became my new favorite Epic. There's a part of me that wants to suggest "Lightwards ordering her execution" as a weakness, but I doubt I'd get away with it. What was she before Calamity?

Then is anyone prepared to introduce a splinter-pulling Epic?

Jeffrey? Untrustworthy? You must be joking. I will prepare to have Lightwards start banging his head on a cabinet, then.

It could definitely work now, though it means we miss out on having Aldo and Backtrack slowly turn Lightwards into a paranoid wreck around him. He'd have a hard time keeping his cover when the CorpseMaker War begins in earnest anyway.

By now Funtimes has established herself as an extremely powerful Epic--she could realistically get away with yelling "PSYCH! He was a human this whole time! Whatcha gonna do about it?" She could seal her argument by making out with him, which seems to be her default way of settling disputes. Lightwards would be profoundly annoyed, but would realize that murdering Nathan under Funtimes' nose isn't a realistic option.

There would be no stopping them. At least until Funtimes got involved. A thought I just had: Backtrack can accurately sense a person's location from birth up the present just by looking at him. When he looks at Nathan, he's going to realize that he's spent most of his life in Newcago, while Funtimes has a path that's bee-bopped all across the country. He might conclude that Traveler truly is a new Epic, but there'd be no denying that Funtimes is also a teleporter.

I've been envisioning Calamityville as a sort of alternate universe sort of thing, but hey, why not? Anything to get Lightwards hide under his pillow.

Ooh, a cricket. Nice touch. There are few things you could to to Quota that wouldn't read like all his bad karma catching up at once. The sheer force of our nightmares after the contest would manifest as a living entity that feeds off of night terrors. So yeah, might as well make Slaughterhouse and Koschei best buds.

Thanks--I didn't have a lot to go on, but I did do my best to get them right. Backtrack: Randomly sneaks up on teenage girls and shows them visions of brutal murders. Is still a better ladies' man than Nighthound.

...or so I keep telling myself. Seriously, Quota's already scary and creepy and ominous and ten kinds of morally reprehensible. I was feeling good about writing a slightly creeptastic Backtrack scene before I saw my competition.

The room shifted from a dank den embroiled in paranoia to a lively place of joviality. Aldo smiled and nodded along, taking in every detail. It was completely apparent that Phoenix and Saccharine were a married couple. Every movement bespoke a deep and intimate relationship--every glance they shared, every subtly of their movement. Phoenix seemed awkward at first, but it seemed that memories were pouring back into his head at a swift pace. Saccharine seemed primarily occupied with two things: fawning over her Jeffy and serving up bountiful quantities of sweets. Aldo smiled and partook of her baking, but kept a wary eye on her throughout. The ferocity in her eyes when she stood in defense of Phoenix had been breathtaking, and had completely assured him that this was not a muffin-brained fool he was talking to. Eventually Saccharine ceased the affectionate conversation with her husband and faced the room at large. Aldo gave Cricket a slight nudge--she was still smiling and nodding her head, but she had clearly taken to shutting out the Edwardian Epic's chatter. "So, this wayward Warrior of Lightwards that you have lost," Saccharine began. "Was he important to the cause? One would hate to see us all penalised because of a run away." She paused for a moment, a hint of uncertainty streaking across her face. "I do not mean to suggest it was at the fault of either of you. Rather, it occurs to me that we ought to do something to counteract this little bit of bad news." Aldo chuckled, shaking his head. "No offense taken, my dear lady. And from what I gathered, our task was merely an errand of good faith. A single runaway zombie is of no consequence to Lightwards. A single mindless drone drifting away won't harm the Empire--what is she going to do, topple it? It would be like a hummingbird changing the direction of a tornado, or like a schoolboy assassinating Steelheart. So absurd as to be laughable." To demonstrate his point he chuckled at his own joke before leaning in closer. "Lightwards' Warriors," he explained, "are just tools. They can be discarded without a care. What we bring instead--two powerful and charming young Epics to bolster his rule--is far more valuable. Far from dreading his reaction, I look forward to seeing his face when I bring him Epics for his service instead of a meaningless little Warrior." Backtrack had never considered himself much of a ladies' man. Ogling the pair of gorgeous twins laughing in the middle of the street, he decided he just might give it a try. He'd seen the whole thing--a minute or so late, but he'd seen it nonetheless. One girl had pushed a blue car into a crowd, accelerating its velocity with a mere shove. When she did that, the other girl had sneaked into a newly emptied bar and stolen a pair of drinks. It was a scheme as beautiful as the ladies who'd hatched it. Backtrack spat on the back of his hand and slicked back his hair, approaching the laughing twins from behind. "Yes, Tally ho and pip pip," one was saying to the other, taking a large swig of her pilfered alcohol. Backtrack stepped quickly behind the both of them, grabbing one twin by the arm and the other by the waist. One of the girls dropped her drink in surprise and let out a cry of "Sparks--let me go you creepy--" He Showed them what he saw. The girls let out a collective gasp as human specters danced before them. Backtrack rarely had a reason to Show anyone else his visions of the past, but this seemed to be as good of a conversation starter as any. "This is a wonderful street," he told the twins, who were no longer struggling and instead gazed in bewilderment at the various scenes before their eyes. "It's up on a hill at the junction of several important pathways, and it has river access to boot. That makes it strategic, you see. Take a looksie." He'd already flipped through this street's history a couple of times--there had been several Epic confrontations here before, and that was what he Showed them now. "You see that gal in the miniskirt? She was an active, fun-loving gal like the pair of you just six months ago. See how she's dead now? Seems like she really ticked off CorpseMaker--talk about 'if looks could kill.'" "Oh, look at that young lady! Her name was Bramblebraid. She liked to roam around the city and pull pranks on people. See that big guy next to her?" He pointed their attention to a heavy-set man in a dramatic costume emblazoned with military insignia. "His name was Quasar. Watch this part, I'm sure you'll find it illuminating..." Around six years ago, Quasar raised his hand and pointed it at Bramblebraid. It glowed with a blindingly bright light, finally letting off a brilliant bolt of heat that gave off a comet-like tail. The bolt struck Bramblebraid in the stomach, turning her from a youthful teen in a tube top to a bubbling pile of liquefied flesh. At this one of the girls roughly shoved Backtrack away. "Who do you think you are?" she demanded furiously. "One does not simply--" Backtrack grabbed her hand back and Showed her visions again. "You girls seem pretty clever," he said with a smile. "But not very observant. What I just showed you is what happens to Epics who think they can just take care of themselves in this city." He gestured at the ghostly crowds moving on all sides. "Do you see these people? Maybe you don't see it when you're walking among them living your mischievous little lives, but they're getting more and more tense as the days go by. You can see it every time one of these past-tense losers gets killed for being too free-spirited. Portland's been skirmishing for the past decade, and now it's finally working up the nerve to burn itself down. You think I'm rough? Wait till CorpseMaker or Altermind catches you partying up the downtown." The twins gave a concerted effort to shove Backtrack backwards. Once his hands left their skin the visions stopped for them, and he fell onto the sidewalk with a sharp pain. "What a vulgar person," one girl proclaimed, glaring at him. "Impact, can we run him over with something?" "Thinking about it, MV," Impact replied thoughtfully. Backtrack smiled at them from the ground, tilting his sunglasses forward. "What precisely are you getting at?" MV asked him with a glare. "And keep your hands to yourself this time." Backtrack rose to his feet and spoke gently. "What I'm saying is, I don't think either of you will last long on your own once this town goes up in smoke. Bramblebraid certainly didn't, and CorpseMaker's killed enough cheerful little she-Epics to fill a freight train. In fact, I'm pretty sure he did once." He took a step forwards and met Impact's gaze. "I'm a pretty caring guy. I'd rather hook you up with one of my contacts then see your pretty face get squashed." Impact stared at him with an unreadable expression. "You have a contact? Someone frightening enough to ward off creeps like that Quasar guy?" "That I do," Backtrack replied. "There's a new Epic in town--he goes by the name of Lightwards. He's an immortal man with a plan, and if I'm not mistaken, he's recruiting at the moment. Sign up with him, and you can have all the free-spirited shenanigans you like without the thread of sudden liquification. What do you say?" It was MV's turn to give him a skeptical stare. "What's in it for you?" "I get the pleasure of walking two gorgeous young ladies to their new employment, and might convince one or both of them to let me buy them drinks." Both girls sighed in unison. "Fine, you can take us to meet him," Impact said. "But if you get touchy-feely on the way over, we're squashing you with the nearest car and meeting him for ourselves." "That sounds fair," Backtrack admitted. "No touching unless it's important. Got it." The twin Epics groaned and Backtrack grinned. This was actually going better then his first pre-Calamity date. And as for Lightwards... Well, having stalked the man for a while, he felt confident that the guy could use a few allies. Who knew what that crazy slontze was going to do next.

Thanks--I don't plan on anything big, it's basically them nodding and saying "Count us in" in their dapper and cheery way. Are they wearing costumes of any kind, or just stand-out vanilla clothing?

Happy dining! Voidus, are the momentum twins your personal characters, or are they more NPCs like Quickslide? Just wondering if I can include a quick reaction and have them travel away with Backtrack at the end of the post.

What. A. Slontze. Terror upvote.

You are forgetting that you are not the only Ponysmith here. I too know the tricks of the trade. He looks pretty awesome, in a morbidly depressing kind of way. I think my quality of life went down by at least 3 ice cream bars just by looking at him... in a good way, of course. Any chance of seeing a bio for him soon?

That would make sense. I think it's best if the shack negotiations reach full closure before an Epic with awesome pink sunglasses barges in. Looking forward to it. (Is his cutie mark the downvote symbol? )

Uh... I could probably have him meet the Momentum Twins next time I post, and he'll meet Aldo very soon afterwards. Then once Aldo and Cricket complete their busy day of recruiting Epics, Lightwards can send him on his first mission. (Sam was going to be the first target, but if you want to introduce Quota now, Remington can make a snarky comment and get bumped up in priority. )

And potentially Remington Springfield riding dinosaurs. Thanks. You finally managed to see it? It really was an awesome movie--I haven't seen the first two Iron Man movies in a while, but Guardians of the Galaxy reigns firmly as my favorite Marvel movie at the moment. Do you have a favorite character? Don't listen to him! He's an illusionist, and illusionists are well known to be deceivers! Join the Empire of Light--we have serene tropical rainforests, filled with undead dinosaurs waiting for your beck and call. We even have a professional stage magician who's performed in Newcago, Babylon Restored, and New New England!

He's working for the Empire of the Light at the moment, and is currently Lightwards' chief recruiter.

Sure thing. Check out the Epics of Oregon thread for a more complete run-down of characters, and be aware that I might forget an Epic or two. CorpseMaker's Gang is the most established, and arguably the most powerful at the moment. It's led by CorpseMaker, an immensely powerful High Epic who is invulnerable to all forms of damage and can kill with a glance. He has accumulated a large number of human forces, which are in turn led by his Epic lieutenants Toymaker, Electro, Freeze, and Mundivore. Toymaker can turn toys into fully realized versions of themselves, and has flushed CorpseMaker's armies with functional armies of giant robots. Electro and Freeze are standard electricity and frost Epics respectively, and Mundivore's sole power is an immunity to all harm. Thoughttown is another powerful faction headed by the illusionist/telekinetic Altermind. Thoughttown is so named for its policy of putting intelligence before all else, evicting any citizens that are incapable of passing strict IQ tests. Despite this, it covers a wide stretch of Portland and employs vast numbers of both human and Epic forces. Notable Epics in Altermind's service include Flashpoint, a flight/electricity Epic, Panacea, an obsessive-compulsive healer, and Sightline, a teleporter with a fondness for knives and a grudge against all other Epics. (There are quite a few more--Thoughttown's a pretty large and awesome group.) The most recent addition to the faction war is the Empire of Light, sometimes known as "The Wacko Brigade." It was established merely a couple of game-days ago, and thus has no human forces as of yet. However, it has already cemented itself as a powerful force, including within its ranks several powerful High Epics. It's 'leader' is a delusional necromancer named Lightwards, who is capable of resurrecting himself after a death. It also includes a matter-transforming Epic named Doctor Funtimes, who may be the single most powerful Epic in Oregon--and is also obsessed with fun and whimsy to the exclusion of all else. The Empire is based out of an old Museum of Natural History outfitted with anti-gravity generators and filled with reanimated zombies, and is known for harboring the most mentally unstable of Epics.