Kobold King

Give me a Metronome pony and I'll make a file. (Once I do Mailliw's Altermind file, of course. ) Oh, OK. It's no problem.

This inspires me to create an Epic called Blessheart, whose power is lowering the effective IQ of everyone within his vicinity. Himself included.

The City Guard wouldn't even try to shoot him. They'd simply pat him on the head, tell him what a powerful High Epic he is, and send him on his way while muttering "God bless him" under their breaths. EDIT: This post was a joke. I didn't mean it to be offensive or gloating or mean-spirited, to whomever downvoted it. If need be I will hide it from the forum.

We should do it, then. I could use another popular post.

Am I the only one who wants to see a duel between Metronome and Backtrack? One that results in Backtrack crying because Metronome started the duel by cruelly mocking him?

Even Backtrack has more badchull temporal abilities than Metronome.

"I have your test results, Steelslayer. They say that you were raised in Newcago, that you're an orphan, and that you're a horrible person. Really, it actually says 'You're a horrible person.' And we weren't even testing for that."

I choose to believe that before she set out to rescue David from Phaedrus, Megan clenched her fist and spoke these words: "Life before death. Journey before destination. Strength before weakness." "I will protect those who cannot protect themselves." Hey... she was glowing in the climax, was she not?

"Malcolm Reynolds--hic--is the captain of the starship--hic--Serenity in the popular--hic--" "Darn it, Stevo55! You don't have to type your hiccups into the article itself!"

There's at least one wiki--though its name I cannot remember--that decrees "no editing the wiki under the influence of alcohol." I've often wondered how they enforce this rule.

She sounds awesome! I look forward to seeing her in action. Can she possess animals or is she limited to humans? (As a side note, not directly connected with Soul: with the number of players' vanilla characters in the RP, is it really necessary to keep including the "cannot effect Epics" restriction? If I recall correctly such restrictions were originally meant to protect player characters, but many players have pretty important vanilla characters now.)

Maybe something a little more summarical? Something like: Portland Characters: Altermind: the illusionist/telekinetic leader of Thoughttown. Obsessed with forming an intellectualist utopia. CorpseMaker: leader of the Dominion. Invulnerable to all harm and can kill with a stare. Seeks to bring all of Oregon under this thumb. Lightwards: a former professor turned necromancer, who seeks to transform the population of Oregon into an undead army. Leads the Empire of Light. Doctor Funtimes: an exuberant matter manipulator/teleporter, capable of instantly transforming any object. Currently allied with the Empire of Light, and corrals a small group of normal humans. ...and so forth?

Why not an image that incorporates both?

Warbreaker spoilers follow. Gather members, and hear the tale of Darkbinder. Here is the tale of an living object, devoted singularly to its task for ages and ages. Here is its tale of life, woe, and ultimate defeat. Many know of how the Manywar came to an end. Man fought man and Lifeless fought Lifeless, and at the Battle of Twilight Falls, a new and devastating weapon was unveiled. Nightblood, a sword seemingly forged out of shadow and death itself. The carnage it wrought was unspeakable. The war ended shortly thereafter, as none could hope to oppose the awesome might of the Awakened blade. Few know, however, that in the last days before the final truce was decided, a team of Pahn Kahl Awakeners labored to counteract the might of Nightblood. Using their own cunning and knowledge of Awakening, they endowed a rope with a thousand Breaths and gave it a single command: "Bind our enemies." Thus Darkbinder was born. A fair and golden as Nightblood was black, his sole purpose in soul and spirit was to bind and captivate the enemies of the Pahn Kahl. Any who might work against them was to be ensnared. Even after the treaty ended, Darkbinder continued to work on his purpose. His mind coiled around a single target: Vasher. The man who wielded the dark sword. The man whose weapons had devastated the Pahn Kahl. The man who even now worked against them. For years, Darkbinder slithered like a serpent in pursuit of his prey. Across kingdoms and continents he hunted, always staying just out of sight. Like an anaconda spun from flax, he waited for the perfect time to strike. That opportunity came in T'Telir, where he found his ancient foe engaged in a mysterious task. The Awakened rope rose like a harvest-colored cobra from a dark alley, prepared to vanquish his long-hunted quarry. "Are you the one they called Darkbinder?" Vasher asked solemnly. "I am," the rope replied. "And I am here at long last to bind you and your soulsucking travesty forevermore!" "I cannot allow that," Vasher said, his voice saddened and weary. "Flee, rope, and find new purpose in your artificial life." "Never!" Darkbinder declared. "It's you or me, now or never!" "Very well," Vasher intoned. "I regret what I must now do." And with those words, he unsheathed the shadowed sword Nightblood, which giggled in unnatural glee at the forthcoming destruction of evil. Their fight waged on and on. Darkbinder would coil over his bitter enemy, only for the Awakener to slip out of his hold and press onwards offensively. The rope dodged swing after swing of the abominable sword. But over time, Darkbinder made the slightest mistake. His dodge was too slow, and Nightblood cleaved through his head. Like a python with its head sliced through the front, the rope writhed and hissed in agony. In a moment Vasher had his hands on its golden coils, and tied the rope into a thick and unbearably tight knot. Seeing that the rope would not live much longer, Vasher tossed it aside into the street. "I am sorry, one they called Darkbinder," Vasher called over his shoulder as he turned his back. "You left me no choice. The Manywar is over." And he strode away from the site of their duel. Darkbinder lay in the street for quite some time, the Breaths leaking from his form. His color became steadily less golden; no longer was he flax but a sickly grey. All he could think of was that he had failed. His lifelong purpose was shattered. The enemies of the Pahn Kahl were unbound and free to roam. And now he himself lay in an undecipherable tangle, his front end torn apart by the dark sword. In time, the steward Bluefingers happened to come this way. Knowing much of esoteric Pahn Kahl history, he recognized the shaking and trembling rope on sight. "Are you the one they called Darkbinder?" Bluefingers inquired, his voice soft and reverent. A cracking realization struck the Awakened rope straight through his soul. No longer was he Darkbinder. Now... he was nothing. Had he a human face, tears would streamed down from his eyes. "No," he croaked in response. "I'm... a frayed knot." And with those parting words, the final Breath passed from his mangled form. Thus ends the tale of Darkbinder, the living rope.

Wow. That's awesome. I'll definitely add that to the post.

The Epics of Oregon thread that Voidus already linked to is pretty enlightening. Here is a summary of the current factions. I wrote it a while back, but nothing's changed since then and the post got a lot of upvotes, so why write up another? Hope it helps!

I agree. Do you know much about the current balance of power in The Dalles? Have you read any of the game thread, or do you need a summary?

I see. Is there an ant problem in Oregon? 'Cuz here in Texas, anything as sugary as a praline left on the floor all day will attract veritable hordes of ants.

Can it be assumed that the Tillamook cottage is still littered with diamonds, or am I forgetting something?

I go to bed, and when I come back there are two awesome new player characters? I cannot believe my eyes. One thing I'd point out is that the novel specifically mentions that no Epic has ever surfaced with the ability to transmutate gold--though seeing as I created a necromancer despite the novel's warning that no Epic can raise the dead, I'm definitely not one to talk. A few questions: Does Lockvault ever leave large mallets or comedic props in his pocket universe? Can the Alchemist reincarnate cross-species? Has the Alchemist ever reincarnated as David Tennant before?

Granted. You are sent to one of the moons of 1SWASP J140747b, about 420 light years from Earth. You have no means of returning. I wish for the ability to command Daleks to do my bidding.

Timeport. What a slontze. But let's all take a moment to remember the biggest slontze in this entire universe. (Implied Firefight spoilers.)

Have you already written the scene? While dark, it'd definitely be a shame for your hard work to go unseen. Killing Protector dogs? I think Timeport's already had enough Moral Event Horizon moments. Enough for himself, three Adolf Hitlers, and at least one and a half Joseph Stalins.

Awesome. My first order of business is to find out whether Edgerunner's still scared of chihuahuas.