Final Jenna Tekiel Journal Entry (Secrets in Stained Glass Epilogue)

The main episodes of Secrets in Stained Glass have concluded, but we do still have some content to show you! Below is one more entry in Jenna Tekiel's journal, set after the end of Secrets in Stained Glass. Very big Secrets in Stained Glass Episode 5 spoilers follow! 

But that's not all we have for you. This Sunday, we will be releasing a long behind the scenes video with Matt and some of the cast talking about the creation of SiSG and more. On Saturday, September 9th, we will be doing a Q&A stream as well. There is also some more prose/story content, and a few items before the stream that we will put out. Lastly, we have put out Matt's final Narrator Notes on Patreon, covering episode 5, and shows previously redacted material now that the show is done! You can support us for as little as a dollar! 

And if you missed it, we posted Jenna's previous writings a while back, before episode 3! 

A Final Jenna Tekiel Journal Entry 
By Eric Lake

Written 1010 FE, two months after the Elariel Solstice Party

A lot has happened. I look back to my previous journal entry and I am... ashamed.

Julian did love me. I did not believe in him as I should have. More mistakes of mine.

And my mother had him killed.

Damn you, Mother. I have never been more angry to get everything I thought I wanted. I should have killed you in that carriage. I should have just let everything you built burn.

But... Of course, she was right in one thing, as she can frustratingly be: killing her would ruin me. Tevidian would not protect me. It would ruin Dier, when I need to protect him from Straff.

What Mother never taught me was how to feel. Julian...started that process. I went off that river when he died, but when I burned pewter on that lake, I didn't realize, but I had made my choice. My house was not everything. What she made me into... is perhaps not how it should be. 

I could not be a person who just casually threw her friends and love to die for... a pittance of political advantage. 

Lord Ruler. She killed Julian. So much more, too, which no doubt she is pleased by, given her hatred of Elariel. Such coldness brought by extreme bitterness, and a bitter woman who would do anything to see it done. 

But that my mother was so willing to kill the man I loved. She would do it again, to Dier. She would do it to anyone. She is just like Straff.

I hate Straff.

I cannot be like them.

I will not be like them.

I hate you, Mother. 

Regardless of Julian's parentage... I am glad he is not a rebel, and that he loved me, for some reason. I am genuinely so confused, a storm whirling within me that will never stop raging. 

What I am certain of is that I need to make sure Petrine does not cause more ruin. I will need to be careful in how I act—oh, how it always comes to that—but I can never act like her, anymore. Perhaps I should channel some Dier, though he correctly advised me against sudden murder of parents. He's very good at this, when he tries, as I suspected.

Petrine was quite happy with my engagement to Dier, once he renounced his title. Of course she hated him personally, but I sold her on the arrangement, convincing her this would give Tekiel access to Venture secrets.

Of course, I have no intention of telling Petrine any of those. It's good leverage, to try and keep Petrine from acting against me again. It's a shame, Mother. Perhaps you should not casually betray those closest to you, or else they will burn you instead. It would certainly be a shame if you died in a fire at some point, wouldn't it? So sad. Lucius would love the poetic nature of that.

Lucius told me Maevis is gone. She has to, because Tevidian and Petrine would hunt her down for what she knows. Whatever she uncovered, she's right. Petrine will stop at nothing. But I hope, some day, Maevis realizes I was, in fact, always on her side.

Fortunately, I happen to be very close to the Canton of Inquisition through Verity. I could tug on some strings there. It sure would be an awful look, Mother, for a lady of a Great House to be working with skaa rebels, wouldn't it? 

I will clearly need new allies if I am to destroy Petrine, and I am in short supply of them, except for Lucius and Dier. This is my primary concern. When I am Lady Tekiel, will there be anything left for me to command?

Would I even want the alternative, being in service to those disloyal snakes currently here? I think not.

Dier has helped immensely. I am more in control of my faculties with him, even as everything has collapsed around me. 

The river in front of me will be impossible to navigate, but it must be done. Together, anything is possible.

How unfortunate, Mother, that you never trusted me enough to truly work with me.

The complete catalog of Secrets in Stained Glass content, featuring prose content, art, and other behind-the-scenes content can be found in this tag.