Ink and Embers Any pronouns Posted May 14 Posted May 14 Alright, maybe not my best idea. Or my most observant.
GG0z He/Him Posted May 14 Posted May 14 “Ooh! I created a world-ending force! Do you think he'll like cheese?”- @Conure1243
GG0z He/Him Posted May 14 Posted May 14 “I don't care I just wanna take down the bagel >:D”- @NerdSandwich ”Murdering bagels is a hobby I had this morning”- @Conure1243
Vielence She/Her Posted May 14 Posted May 14 3 hours ago, GG0z said: “Ooh! I created a world-ending force! Do you think he'll like cheese?”- @Conure1243 34 minutes ago, GG0z said: “I don't care I just wanna take down the bagel >:D”- @NerdSandwich ”Murdering bagels is a hobby I had this morning”- @Conure1243 Slay the double poster!!
GG0z He/Him Posted May 14 Posted May 14 1 minute ago, Vielence said: Slay the double poster!! I’M SORRY!!! I didn’t know that was wrong. I’ve been on the Shard for less than a month, so I’m still learning 1
Vielence She/Her Posted May 14 Posted May 14 1 hour ago, GG0z said: I’M SORRY!!! I didn’t know that was wrong. I’ve been on the Shard for less than a month, so I’m still learning Ha you're alright every one does it, its just a minor hazing joke lol But welcome! I wish you much crazy adventures!
GG0z He/Him Posted May 14 Posted May 14 16 minutes ago, Vielence said: Ha you're alright every one does it, its just a minor hazing joke lol But welcome! I wish you much crazy adventures! Thanks! I hope you had many crazy adventures and lots more to come 1
Shatter He/Him Posted May 14 Posted May 14 (edited) (from a discord server I'm in) Edited May 14 by Shatter 1
Through The Living Star She/Her Posted May 15 Posted May 15 “Eating people is just normal behavior for me” - @Conure1243
GG0z He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 “Ima go get high on strange and concerning meat! In the water park!”- @Conure1243
Conure1243 He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 I would now like to reserve the right to talk about meat without being put on the one-liners... again
Through The Living Grub He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 1 minute ago, GG0z said: “Ima go get high on strange and concerning meat! In the water park!”- @Conure1243 My question is not where he got it, but if he has some to share.
GG0z He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 Just now, Through The Living Grub said: My question is not where he got it, but if he has some to share. Go to the nightmare bagel thread, and you will find out!
Conure1243 He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 1 minute ago, GG0z said: Go to the nightmare bagel thread, and you will find out! Wait! Wouldn't that be context? 2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grub said: My question is not where he got it, but if he has some to share. Sure! *offers meat*
GG0z He/Him Posted May 16 Posted May 16 Just now, Conure1243 said: Wait! Wouldn't that be context? 2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grub said: No, Grub was asking if you had some, and I said that je should check on the other thread
Ink and Embers Any pronouns Posted May 18 Posted May 18 "Isn't lava just like ... really hot cream cheese?" - @Conure1243
Through The Living Grub He/Him Posted May 19 Posted May 19 (edited) This one deserves to be here. Spoilered as to not corrupt the shard with lack of sleep and insanity: SpoilerNote, there are some formatting jokes that haven't carried over Summary so far! (The summary is the first sentence of each paragraph, until it hits a period.) CANS OF TUNA ARE THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING IN THE UNIVERSE. Scissors are boring little monsters with the ability to stop time and eat pizza, The bread bag looked in horror at the events happening before him. Jeffery whispered to the empty cage. My name is Stephen. The cheesecake was named Doug. I ate the cheese and Bob screamed, Jeffery ran. There was a disturbance in the pressure. I has good grammars! “I am telling you my name is STEPHEN!” Jeffery was swarmed. “I HAS GOOD GRAMMARS!!!” Poor being. Cheez ran. “Prepare to make cheese create broccoli.” Jeffery coughed. Samantha took the shot. Robert didn’t want to live on the farm anymore. Grammar man was on alert. If a monkey were to eat some cheese, then my bob would go crazy. Have you ever just sat down and wondered, do cheeses hate goats? WRITER’S BLOCK IS FUNNNNNNNNNN! There aren’t many who know of tuna’s powerful ally, the dairian army of cheeses. Jeffery woke up coughing. Grammar man looked around. “They want to destroy everything in it!” Jeffery couldn’t believe it. “Wait a minute,” The potato was hot and cheesy. The unicorn trotted across the rainbow thinking, I believe in little girls! Once upon a time there was a rock. I enjoy not being sick. Wow. MISS MAN! The flubba flubba is made of nubba nubba but nubba nubba is made of flubba flubba and flubba flubbas eat nerbba nerbbas, that eat rubba rubbas, which eat bubba bubba grass, discovered by the amazing scientist Jubba Jubba, Grabba Grabba. Grammars man walked with jeffery through the sandstone chasm it wasnt very deep only about 4 feet deep actually. Slice was holding a feeling of absolutely seething rage. “(Redacted)” Slice complained. Slice ran towards Cheez, fueled by the rage inside of him. (Redacted) wrote a sentence. Cheez appeared in front of the cans of tuna. The arrow was sad. Cheez walked away from the large palace. Jeffery sat in front of a hulking being, slightly plump, with a comically large nose. Lingonberry, said grammars man said. Slice suddenly knew that he was the author’s new favorite character.Jeffery could see that slice no longer thought he was (Redacted)’s favorite character, As grammar man bellowed out with many sentences that had no proper grammar.Grammars man was done being happy for now and so he decided that he would just have no periods commas or any punctuation marks and then he flew out the window and then he was scared because their was know window that was they’re so he hit his head and google docs didnt know what to do about the grammar anymor and then the destiny peoples who controlled they’re lifes and fates decided to eat some yummy cheeseseses (Redacted), (Redacted 2), and (Redacted 3) decided to eat some yummy cheeses as they idly typed. Cheez walked across the dusty gray ground. Samantha missed Miss man again, and shot again. Slice skipped his paragraph because he was in too much of a daze to do anything but follow Jeffery. Jeffery walked through the thick forest that they had found themselves inside. “I’m a smiley face,” the happy face sang, “I’m a smiley face and I will stay here for eternity!” Ta-Da. “Gluggle gluggle gluggle.” said Gluggle guy. ˙ɯǝɥʎɐɯ puɐ ɟǝᴉɥɔsᴉɯ pǝsɐɔ eʌɐɥ I "How are you doing today؟" Grammars man asked. Part one! CANS OF TUNA ARE THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING IN THE UNIVERSE. OUR FEEBLE BRAINS CANNOT PROCESS THE POWER WHICH THEY HOLD. THE TUNA CANS WILL EVENTUALLY WIPE US OUT AND RULE THE WORLD, THEN THEY WILL CONQUER THE GALAXY, THEN THE UNIVERSE, THEN THE MULTIVERSE, THEN THE MULTIMULTIVERSE, ALL THE WAY UNTIL THEY HAVE EVEN CONQUERED THE MULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIVERSE Scissors are boring little monsters with the ability to stop time and eat pizza, but only if they chant, LOILLOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL, which is impossible, because they don't have mouths. The bread bag looked in horror at the events happening before him. The bread bag, even without a mouth, screamed and crawled away like a caterpillar. You see, somebody asked the bread bag a question. The bread bag had Rogophobia, fear of questions, however. The being known as the egg sat there, his question unanswered. Which leads us to the question. What did the egg say to the bread bag? Nothing. It’s an egg. Jeffery whispered to the empty cage. “Hello you monster.” Then, he got up, and left. My name is Stephen. Said the cheese whose name was actually cheez. "No." The doctor said, "You are just delusional." The cheesecake was named Doug. Doug was a very bitter cheesecake, and so nobody ate him. He was glad. I ate the cheese and Bob screamed, "LOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL!" If he were scissors, he would get the ability to eat pizza and stop time. But he wasn’t a pair of scissors, he was something else. Something much, much worse. He was a can of tuna. Jeffery ran. The empty cage was left behind. Good riddance you monster! He thought. But he was in peril. His best friend, Bob, was secretly a can of tuna. The most diabolical thing to exist. Nearby, Jeffery saw a crawling bread bag. “Can you help me?” he asked. The bread bag screamed, even without a mouth and ran away. Okay… Then he thought, I am going to face this monster. Jeffery stopped, turned around, and opened Bob. Then, he ate the tuna inside. Bob was no longer a can of tuna, he was just a can. There was a disturbance in the pressure. Pneumonoultra, one of the three leaders of the tuna cans, could feel it. Bob had died. “Bob has died!” Pneumonoultra called to the other two leaders, Microscopicsilico, and Volcanoconiosis. “Commence operation Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!” I has good grammars! Thought the one and only GRAMMAR MAN. He sat on Top of a building watching the innocent civilians down below then he heard a scream he jumped up to his feet. “Grammar Man is coming!” He yelled. “I am telling you my name is STEPHEN!” Cheez said. “NO!!!!” Replied the nurse “YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!!!” Cheez ran out of the room. “CHEEZ!” The nurse called. “We haven’t finished your heart surgery yet!” Cheez was, quite literally, heartless. Jeffery was swarmed. The cans of tuna were holding him to a volcano so he would breathe in the silica particles and come up with Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Not good. “I HAS GOOD GRAMMARS!!!” A voice shouted. Grammar man! Jeffery was saved! Grammar man used his grammar powers to save Jeffery. The cans of tuna ran from the (Bad) Grammar. “Come with me we need to hide in the shadows!” Grammar man yelled. Perhaps Grammar man’s grammar would scare Jeffery away as well. Jeffery coughed. Oh No! He had Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Jeffery yelled. Poor being. Grammar man thought as he watched the person he rescued sleeping in the corner even in his sleep he coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed. Grammar man stood lookout for his new friend Jeffery. Shadows is easy to hide inside. Grammar man thought. It was quiet. Cheez ran. He didn’t care that he had lost his heart. He was a piece of cheese. Cheez ran and ran into something. It was a cylinder. It was short, and there were three of them. “Hello.” The middle one said in an ominous tone. “My name is Pneumonoultra. That’s Microscopicsilico to my right, and Volcanoconiosis to my left. We were looking for a minion. Would you join us?” Cheez thought for a moment. Then said, “We have a deal.” “Prepare to make cheese create broccoli.” A lab worker said. Then he pushed the button. Everything exploded. Jeffery coughed. Wow. Taking out a notebook, he wrote a tally. Cough # 1112342. As they walked. Grammar man became a little hungry. “Is me hungry.” he said. “You can have that che-” Jeffery coughed and recorded it. “Ese cake over there.” He finished. “Nah that looks like doug the bitter cheesecake.” Grammar man said. Suddenly something sharp flew past him. “Ow!” said a voice. Jeffery walked up to the sharp object. Who was a pair of scissors. “LOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL!” He shouted then suddenly popped onto Jeffery’s shoulder. SENTIENT SCISSORS! Jeffery coughed. Interludes. Samantha took the shot. It missed. Well, she thought, so much for saving the universe. Robert didn’t want to live on the farm anymore. Tomatoes are destined for more. Robert jumped off of the vine. He immediately grew arms and legs. He was now buff. “YEAH!” Robert shouted. Then jumped over the mountain. PART TWO! (This means you got through the annoying interludes! Yay!) Grammar man was on alert. Jeffery was recording his daily coughing and so he was on alert. Suddenly two beasts that looked like fish with 4 buff legs ran over Jeffery They were each ridden by cans of tuna. Oh no grammar man said Interludes: (Already.) If a monkey were to eat some cheese, then my bob would go crazy. Food is tasty so yum hum hum yum cheesy pizza with peppers and sausage and extreme hot sauce, as well as some cough syrup. Have you ever just sat down and wondered, do cheeses hate goats? WRITER’S BLOCK IS FUNNNNNNNNNN! HE! Part 3 Interludes. Part 4 Interludes. There aren’t many who know of tuna’s powerful ally, the dairian army of cheeses. Led by none other than Stephen the strong. Part 5 1000 words! Interludes Whoa whoa whoa, whoa. “This is Jeffery here, and I think that this is getting out of hand! Just do the next part properly (Redacted)! I want to know what happened to us!” “But, but but” (Redacted) began, “Fine.” He sighed. Part 7 Jeffery woke up coughing. He was tied to a ceiling in a prison. Looking around, he saw Grammar Man next to him. “I has good grammars…” he muttered in his sleep. Outside of the prison cell, Jeffery found cans of tuna guarding the door on their buff, horse-fish. Noticeably, the fish were tuna. Huh. across the stone hallway, there was a blobfish. Jeffery heard a loud noise. “Psst, remember me? From like… 9 paragraphs ago?” The sentient scissors! The cans forgot to prison the scissors! “Call me, slice. Like pizza!” Slice snipped the rope, and Jeffery fell to the ground. Grammar man looked around. “I is grammars man!” He shouted, before jumping down the broken wall. By forgetting to imprison their new friend slice the cans of tuna made 2 mistakes 1 they allowed jeffery, grammar man to ran free. 2 they let them know about the secret location of there base. We should prepare an attack! Grammar man said to Jeffery “I agree.” Jeffery replied. “Guys?” Slice chimed in. yes Jeffery asked, “While inside the base, trying to save you, I found a thing. The tuna cans are looking for an ancient prophecy! that will give them the power to destroy planets. Their plans have changed guys they aren’t going to rule the multiverse or the multimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultiverse they want to destroy everything in it!” “They want to destroy everything in it!” Slice said, panicked. Jeffery looked around with horror. “I may have left a clue to that prophecy behind.” He said. “What?” Slice yelled. “It was a monster!” Jeffery said, in his defense. “Uh-hu!” Grammar man said. “Grammars man herd of it to.” Slice paused. “Wait.” He said. “How do you misspell your speaking?” “Ye” He replied simply. “Also, did anybody notice that there wasn’t any part 6?” “YEEEEE!” “Anyway,” Slice said, " what did you leave behind, Jeffery?” “An empty cage.” Slice gasped. “That is a monster!” Jeffery couldn’t believe it. The whole time he had spent lazily guarding the empty cage, before eventually leaving it completely, was now threatening the omniverse as they knew it! Yet for some reason, he was at peace. He had narrowly escaped the cans of tuna, his coughing ruining their stealthy approach. Grammar man taunted them before they entered the caves of Hungerungerungred, home of the - COUGH COUGH, COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!- Hungerungerung Giants. Perhaps they would be able to fight the tuna cans. But now, they were making a campfire. “Almost got it,” Slice said, using himself, and some flint, to light a fire. “Got it!” He said as he lit the fire. “So whats you’re backstory.” Grammar man asked. “I was born five days ago. My family was taken by the tuna cans… even though I don’t have one. It’s supposed to be a dramatic scene where we are all sad about the cans of tuna. I guess I’m ruining that.” “Grammars man has have had good live.” Grammar man said. “But then theyd invented the obnoxious annoying evil horrible unicycle.” He stopped talking. “Alright, then I guess it’s my turn.” Jeffery said. “Unicycle?.!” Grammar man said. “I’m just going to try and ignore that you just said 3 different types of punctuation at once.” Slice said. “Moving on,” Jeffery said. “My family has forever been an ancient line of guardians. Guarding an empty cage. My father failed to tell me the most important reason to guard it. I figured it out, finally, when my friend Bob decided to turn on me and reveal that he was a can of tuna.” Jeffery sighed. “After eating Bob, I angered the cans of tuna.” Slice gasped, his eyes widening. “They got revenge on me by giving me-” Cough Cough COUGH COUGH COUGH! “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Which is causing my skin to turn blue.” “That was pointed out in part six,” Slice said, “But it wasn’t there. Sorry readers!” “Ye.” Grammar man said sadly, ignoring what Slice said. “See?” Slice said. “Sad scene where we mourn the cans of tuna and their decision to destroy the omniverse. Also, this Jeffery story is incredibly long! Let somebody else have a turn (Redacted)!” Cough cough. COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!!! “No. I won’t give anybody else a turn for an entire part!” (Redacted) yelled “Wait a minute,” Slice said in between the stories. “This section, starting with “‘See?” Slice said. ‘Sad scene’... You get the picture. Anyway, that scene is slightly indented!” “What? NOOOOOO.” (Redacted) said. Sounding as sarcastic as humanly possible. Slice glared at him. Congratulations! You have reached a point in the story, where all character rights will be transferred to (Redacted 3) for a month. After that, she must transfer the ownership to (Redacted 2), in the share screen by clicking “Transfer Ownership.” (Remember the Hungerungerung Giants from Hungerungerungered valley. Also, the perspective swaps from person to person in the following order: Jeffery, Grammar man, and Slice. (Redacted 2), you get the same rules. I will go through and revize revise mistakes. Slice needs to break the fourth wall a-lot, and get annoyed about small things, like slightly indented lines.) Interludes Cans of lime are the least diabolical thing in the universe. Our feeble brains can do anything but fail to process the power in which they hold. ((Redacted 3) Insert interludes here) Once upon a time there was a rock. A nice piece of fossiliferous limestone with a small amount of fossils. Those fossils were all just small unidentified micro organisms. This stone was 8 and ¼ inches tall and 2 inches wide. This stone was a slightly before triangular pyramid with rounded edges and a top that bent down slightly. The base of the rock was an equilateral triangle. One day this rock thought I’m gonna do a backflip. The end. ((Redacted 2) inserts interludes here.) The potato was hot and cheesy. It was on fire. It was probably a baked potato. The unicorn trotted across the rainbow thinking, I believe in little girls! The little girl sat on the couch thinking, I believe in unicorns! “Popcorn!” My stomach says, followed by “flamingos”! The monster thought, why am I a monster? Part 8 (Written by (Redacted 3), and (Redacted 2)) (Have fun!) I enjoy not being sick. Jeffery thought, and then coughed. It twas a nice morning and everyone had finished telling their backstories and then put out the fire and went to bed. Jeffery was the only one awake. For a moment. HAK-HAK-HAKK! Jeffery coughed. Cough you man; grammars man said sleepy. “WHO HAS AWOKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER?” Slice bellowed grandly. i could did? grammars man said. “Man that guy and his I’s” Slice muttered. Jeffery v Wow. So little happened in part 8 (Redacted 3) may finish their paragraph, and ownership of the document once again is mine. INTERLUDES MISS MAN! WHOOOO! The flubba flubba is made of nubba nubba but nubba nubba is made of flubba flubba and flubba flubbas eat nerbba nerbbas, that eat rubba rubbas, which eat bubba bubba grass, discovered by the amazing scientist Jubba Jubba, Grabba Grabba Part 9 Grammars man walked with jeffery through the sandstone chasm it wasnt very deep only about 4 feet deep actually. “i is worried” grammars man said “grammars man is not very liked by thes hungerungerung giants” “don’t worry” jeffery saids “they shall end the warz” Grammars man almost agreed, but something jumped out and attacked Slice was holding a feeling of absolutely seething rage. Nothing in the entire world could EVER redeem that last grammar man paragraph. Except maybe a paragraph of his own as long as that other Jeffery paragraph… Also, Stephen the Strong had ambushed them. “You.” Slice said angrily. “You-” Slice stopped talking as everybody saw a 3 year old, blonde-haired girl in a blue jumpsuit, jump over the chasm shooting a ginormous laser gun at somebody else. She missed. But then a buff tomato joined the fight. What was happening? Ignoring the confusing events, Slice returned his focus to Stephen. “I know you…” Slice said. “...Cheez.” Cheez’s eyes began to glow red. “My name is STEPHEN!” He shouted, forming a lance and a shield into his nonexistent hands. Oops. “(Redacted)” Slice complained. “I don’t like the length of my last paragraph. Can you do another one about me?” (Redacted), clearly startled to see slice again, flipped a name tag on his desk to his normal name. The other side looked like it said “Grabba Grabba” “Er” (Redacted) said. “Sorry I haven’t written your character for a while, and I’m just coming back to it after a long time, I’ll give you, slice, what you deserve.” Slice ran towards Cheez, fueled by the rage inside of him. He leaped up 10 feet into the air before landing a few inches away from cheez, slicing a small amount of his forehead off. Cheez glared at him, then swung his lance at slice, who blocked with his own foot. Grammar man flew over, and punched cheez square in the face. Cheez retaliated and sent Grammar man flying backward. “I have good grammar…” He said in a dazed voice. Jeffery followed, with a simple kick. Slice then came from behind, and attacked Cheez by bonking Cheez on the head with his own head. Cheez staggered back. Dropping his lance onto the rocky ground. Noticeably, it was simply a nail jammed into a screw, enlarged by the Tuna Can’s diabolical evil device. Cheez took a step back, before vanishing. (Redacted) wrote a sentence. “Ooo” everyone said. INTERLUDES Cheez appeared in front of the cans of tuna. “You are in pain.” Pneumonoultra said. “I’m experiencing… memories.” Cheez said, gasping. “Unfortunately, we will have to remove you.” “What?” “We sense your feelings and plans.” Cheez watched helplessly as Pneumonoultra’s cubelike hand reached out toward him. Black. The arrow was sad. He had hurt his head again. He didn’t like flying. Except, it wasn’t really that important, because he was just an arrow, and wasn’t alive. I like to eat yummy cheese when I'm living in a large grapefruit so I don't want to copy antigravity fun machines I like to eat my cheese in the morning, evening, 12, harglenuggin o'clock, and when I'm in the tuna can's prison YAYYYYYYY wait aren't cheeses allied with the cans of tuna? Am I in danger? I think I angered the cans of tuna! Just think, any second now I might end up being wiped from ex- Cheez walked away from the large palace. “You. Will. Feel. The. Wrath. Of. Ste-” He paused. “Cheez.” He whispered. PART 10 Jeffery sat in front of a hulking being, slightly plump, with a comically large nose. “I’m sorry” He said, with a very squeaky voice, “Us giants are allergic to tuna.” Lingonberry, said grammars man said. wow just think (Redacted) didnt add that redundant redundant grammars mistake on purpose when he did it on accident. Slice suddenly knew that he was the author’s new favorite character. As they walked away from the hungerungerung valley, Jeffery sighed. “Well, so much for that idea.” Jeffery whispered. “notting of the kidding of the not not.” “Grammar man, why are you so redundant lately?” “is happy in happy land where I am and I am happy.” Why? “Oh no.” Jeffery whispered. “What.” Slice asked, angry. “Grammar man is happy.” Slice looked forward, eyes facing the viewers, scared. Then his worst nightmare began. Jeffery could see that slice no longer thought he was (Redacted)’s favorite character, As grammar man bellowed out with many sentences that had no proper grammar. “Iillian ate that cheeses, and gideon and eric ate those milk and i don’t like cOMMAS anymore. does anybody have some sheep cheese. I like to slap numbers like harglenuggin, and blitzlnuggin and shplaplnuggin and tenteen and ardblargeglugg and ug and ugglebuggle, and 45 and shnitzlnuggin? dID you know that I have a sIDEKiCK named spelling mon? i won’t allow quotation marks in the quotation marks that are inside the quotation marks but you don’t no where they is. Grammars man was done being happy for now and so he decided that he would just have no periods commas or any punctuation marks and then he flew out the window and then he was scared because their was know window that was they’re so he hit his head and google docs didnt know what to do about the grammar anymor and then the destiny peoples persons person people who controlled they’re lifes and fates decided to eat some yummy cheeseseses (Redacted), (Redacted 2), and (Redacted 3) decided to eat some yummy cheeses as they idly typed. Cheez walked across the dusty gray ground. In his right, cubelike hand, he held his lance, a shortened nail jammed into a screw, and in his left, he carried a shield, which used to have the insignia of the cans of tuna, but he scratched it off. Cheez didn’t have very many options, he had considered talking to Slice and his friends, but in the end, he knew it wouldn’t go well. He stopped, then looked around toward a nearby forest. He began to set up a camp for the night, starting a fire, careful not to melt himself in the blazing heat. Then he got an idea. Samantha missed Miss man again, and shot again. She missed again. “Robert!” Samantha called to the lazy tomato. “Fine.” Robert sighed. Robert jumped on top of Miss man, and Samantha shot again. She missed and hit Robert, who turned, temporarily, into an ordinary tomato. Any second now, he would come back alive. Miss man turned, and ran away. Slice skipped his paragraph because he was in too much of a daze to do anything but follow Jeffery. Jeffery walked through the thick forest that they had found themselves inside. Walking into a clearing, he saw the weirdest thing he had ever seen. A blobfish, inside a large, almost giant, floating fishbowl, and with a disproportionately large, droopy nose, hovered in the air above a large rock. “Greetings, Jeffery, Slice, and Grammar man.” it said, mouth not moving. “Have the we meeted?” Grammar man asked. “No.” The blobfish said, “I just like to be creepy. My name is Blubby.” “Where did you learn our names?” Slice asked. Good to see him start to come out of his weakness. Jeffery thought, before he coughed a good 3 dozen times, and then proceeded to add 36 tally marks in his notebook. “(Redacted) himself told me for this exact moment.” “A destiny persons?” Grammar man asked, surprised. Interludes “I’m a smiley face,” the happy face sang, “I’m a smiley face and I will stay here for eternity!” Ta-Da. “Gluggle gluggle gluggle.” said Gluggle guy. “NO!” Said Grammar man’s sidekick, Spelling mon. “i hav beeeten u glugle geye! Ey wand two hav ae mispeled advenchre en uh forst!” PART 11 "How are you doing today؟" Grammars man asked SIice whimpered “I is happy said grammars man but not 2 happy so i will have just a story and steal slice’s paragraph and i’m becomeing an even more and more anoying character so i is going to go to the libary did you no that the backwards question mark both broke doogle gocs, and, also, drove, jubba jubba grabba grabba, insane.” Jeffery sat next to Blubby. The strange fish sat in a floating fish bowl. Grammars man refused to look at him. He’d seemed to be scared of one who was so directly influenced by a “Destiny Persons”. It was strange he hadn’t realized that Slice had, on numerous occasions, done the same thing. The fire sent waves of heat toward them. Slice sat silently, leaning against a log beside them. Jeffery coughed as he stared into the flame. The red orange glow reminded him all too much of the… the… That volcano… where the Cans of Tuna first found him and he was given Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Diabolical Aluminum Cans! It couldn’t have been! Jeffery gasped, eyes widening. Glorf! Glorfglorfglorfglorfglorf. Jeffery understood. The cage. The EMPTY CAGE. He’d left it in that very volcano. Jeffery gasped suddenly, eyes widening as he fell backward, coughing and looking toward the stars. I was the first to react, pulling myself onto my feet, giving Blubby a glare, and sprinting over to help with… whatever was happening. What was happening? Jeffery stuttered as I approached. “The cage.” He said, whispering softly. He sat up. “I know where the empty cage is.” Glorf. Grammar Man jumped. “Where?” Blubby demanded, “Where?!” “The volcano. The one where I met Grammars man. The cage is there. And all we need to do is beat the Tuna Cans there.” Jeffery spoke in gasps. He coughed. Glorf. He looked at the others. “We’re going. NOW.” INTERLUDES: "Last time I screamed at the cheese," Bart whispered, "I THREW A PURPLE LEATHER BOOT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF THE NEAREST UPSIDE DOWN GAS STATION!!!" He paused. "But, it's fine. I only wanted to make friends with my face's cousin's uncle's parrot's stash of turtle hair. Agglebaggle isn’t a cheese, unfortunately. He does, however, enjoy causing people to have the random urge to paint themselves with neon purple paint, then do cartwheels while flying -- specifically using an enchanted bag, made by the King of the Purple Spaghetti Noodles, and has a retail price of $99.99. The King of the Purple Spaghetti Noodles also happens to be Agglebaggle - @Conure1243 this one deserves its place here also did I somehow get text in the “spoiler” title?! edit: it didn’t? It was clearly in the “spoiler” ting outside the box. Too bad I didn’t screenshot. Edited May 19 by Through The Living Grub 3
Conure1243 He/Him Posted May 19 Posted May 19 That is, by far, the most absurd thing I've ever made the one liners with. 1
Through The Living Grub He/Him Posted May 19 Posted May 19 27 minutes ago, Fizz9 said: What in on Roshar? Trust me fizz, this ain’t anywhere near Roshar.
Enderuser53 He/him Posted May 19 Posted May 19 Your the best guy I ever (don’t remember the word) -Milan
Vielence She/Her Posted May 19 Posted May 19 49 minutes ago, Through The Living Grub said: This one deserves to be here. Spoilered as to not corrupt the shard with lack of sleep and insanity: Reveal hidden contents Summary so far! (The summary is the first sentence of each paragraph, until it hits a period.) CANS OF TUNA ARE THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING IN THE UNIVERSE. Scissors are boring little monsters with the ability to stop time and eat pizza, The bread bag looked in horror at the events happening before him. Jeffery whispered to the empty cage. My name is Stephen. The cheesecake was named Doug. I ate the cheese and Bob screamed, Jeffery ran. There was a disturbance in the pressure. I has good grammars! “I am telling you my name is STEPHEN!” Jeffery was swarmed. “I HAS GOOD GRAMMARS!!!” Poor being. Cheez ran. “Prepare to make cheese create broccoli.” Jeffery coughed. Samantha took the shot. Robert didn’t want to live on the farm anymore. Grammar man was on alert. If a monkey were to eat some cheese, then my bob would go crazy. Have you ever just sat down and wondered, do cheeses hate goats? WRITER’S BLOCK IS FUNNNNNNNNNN! There aren’t many who know of tuna’s powerful ally, the dairian army of cheeses. Jeffery woke up coughing. Grammar man looked around. “They want to destroy everything in it!” Jeffery couldn’t believe it. “Wait a minute,” The potato was hot and cheesy. The unicorn trotted across the rainbow thinking, I believe in little girls! Once upon a time there was a rock. I enjoy not being sick. Wow. MISS MAN! The flubba flubba is made of nubba nubba but nubba nubba is made of flubba flubba and flubba flubbas eat nerbba nerbbas, that eat rubba rubbas, which eat bubba bubba grass, discovered by the amazing scientist Jubba Jubba, Grabba Grabba. Grammars man walked with jeffery through the sandstone chasm it wasnt very deep only about 4 feet deep actually. Slice was holding a feeling of absolutely seething rage. “(Redacted)” Slice complained. Slice ran towards Cheez, fueled by the rage inside of him. (Redacted) wrote a sentence. Cheez appeared in front of the cans of tuna. The arrow was sad. Cheez walked away from the large palace. Jeffery sat in front of a hulking being, slightly plump, with a comically large nose. Lingonberry, said grammars man said. Slice suddenly knew that he was the author’s new favorite character.Jeffery could see that slice no longer thought he was (Redacted)’s favorite character, As grammar man bellowed out with many sentences that had no proper grammar.Grammars man was done being happy for now and so he decided that he would just have no periods commas or any punctuation marks and then he flew out the window and then he was scared because their was know window that was they’re so he hit his head and google docs didnt know what to do about the grammar anymor and then the destiny peoples who controlled they’re lifes and fates decided to eat some yummy cheeseseses (Redacted), (Redacted 2), and (Redacted 3) decided to eat some yummy cheeses as they idly typed. Cheez walked across the dusty gray ground. Samantha missed Miss man again, and shot again. Slice skipped his paragraph because he was in too much of a daze to do anything but follow Jeffery. Jeffery walked through the thick forest that they had found themselves inside. “I’m a smiley face,” the happy face sang, “I’m a smiley face and I will stay here for eternity!” Ta-Da. “Gluggle gluggle gluggle.” said Gluggle guy. ˙ɯǝɥʎɐɯ puɐ ɟǝᴉɥɔsᴉɯ pǝsɐɔ eʌɐɥ I "How are you doing today؟" Grammars man asked. Part one! CANS OF TUNA ARE THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING IN THE UNIVERSE. OUR FEEBLE BRAINS CANNOT PROCESS THE POWER WHICH THEY HOLD. THE TUNA CANS WILL EVENTUALLY WIPE US OUT AND RULE THE WORLD, THEN THEY WILL CONQUER THE GALAXY, THEN THE UNIVERSE, THEN THE MULTIVERSE, THEN THE MULTIMULTIVERSE, ALL THE WAY UNTIL THEY HAVE EVEN CONQUERED THE MULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIMULTIVERSE Scissors are boring little monsters with the ability to stop time and eat pizza, but only if they chant, LOILLOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL, which is impossible, because they don't have mouths. The bread bag looked in horror at the events happening before him. The bread bag, even without a mouth, screamed and crawled away like a caterpillar. You see, somebody asked the bread bag a question. The bread bag had Rogophobia, fear of questions, however. The being known as the egg sat there, his question unanswered. Which leads us to the question. What did the egg say to the bread bag? Nothing. It’s an egg. Jeffery whispered to the empty cage. “Hello you monster.” Then, he got up, and left. My name is Stephen. Said the cheese whose name was actually cheez. "No." The doctor said, "You are just delusional." The cheesecake was named Doug. Doug was a very bitter cheesecake, and so nobody ate him. He was glad. I ate the cheese and Bob screamed, "LOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL!" If he were scissors, he would get the ability to eat pizza and stop time. But he wasn’t a pair of scissors, he was something else. Something much, much worse. He was a can of tuna. Jeffery ran. The empty cage was left behind. Good riddance you monster! He thought. But he was in peril. His best friend, Bob, was secretly a can of tuna. The most diabolical thing to exist. Nearby, Jeffery saw a crawling bread bag. “Can you help me?” he asked. The bread bag screamed, even without a mouth and ran away. Okay… Then he thought, I am going to face this monster. Jeffery stopped, turned around, and opened Bob. Then, he ate the tuna inside. Bob was no longer a can of tuna, he was just a can. There was a disturbance in the pressure. Pneumonoultra, one of the three leaders of the tuna cans, could feel it. Bob had died. “Bob has died!” Pneumonoultra called to the other two leaders, Microscopicsilico, and Volcanoconiosis. “Commence operation Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!” I has good grammars! Thought the one and only GRAMMAR MAN. He sat on Top of a building watching the innocent civilians down below then he heard a scream he jumped up to his feet. “Grammar Man is coming!” He yelled. “I am telling you my name is STEPHEN!” Cheez said. “NO!!!!” Replied the nurse “YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!!!” Cheez ran out of the room. “CHEEZ!” The nurse called. “We haven’t finished your heart surgery yet!” Cheez was, quite literally, heartless. Jeffery was swarmed. The cans of tuna were holding him to a volcano so he would breathe in the silica particles and come up with Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Not good. “I HAS GOOD GRAMMARS!!!” A voice shouted. Grammar man! Jeffery was saved! Grammar man used his grammar powers to save Jeffery. The cans of tuna ran from the (Bad) Grammar. “Come with me we need to hide in the shadows!” Grammar man yelled. Perhaps Grammar man’s grammar would scare Jeffery away as well. Jeffery coughed. Oh No! He had Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” Jeffery yelled. Poor being. Grammar man thought as he watched the person he rescued sleeping in the corner even in his sleep he coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed. Grammar man stood lookout for his new friend Jeffery. Shadows is easy to hide inside. Grammar man thought. It was quiet. Cheez ran. He didn’t care that he had lost his heart. He was a piece of cheese. Cheez ran and ran into something. It was a cylinder. It was short, and there were three of them. “Hello.” The middle one said in an ominous tone. “My name is Pneumonoultra. That’s Microscopicsilico to my right, and Volcanoconiosis to my left. We were looking for a minion. Would you join us?” Cheez thought for a moment. Then said, “We have a deal.” “Prepare to make cheese create broccoli.” A lab worker said. Then he pushed the button. Everything exploded. Jeffery coughed. Wow. Taking out a notebook, he wrote a tally. Cough # 1112342. As they walked. Grammar man became a little hungry. “Is me hungry.” he said. “You can have that che-” Jeffery coughed and recorded it. “Ese cake over there.” He finished. “Nah that looks like doug the bitter cheesecake.” Grammar man said. Suddenly something sharp flew past him. “Ow!” said a voice. Jeffery walked up to the sharp object. Who was a pair of scissors. “LOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOIL!” He shouted then suddenly popped onto Jeffery’s shoulder. SENTIENT SCISSORS! Jeffery coughed. Interludes. Samantha took the shot. It missed. Well, she thought, so much for saving the universe. Robert didn’t want to live on the farm anymore. Tomatoes are destined for more. Robert jumped off of the vine. He immediately grew arms and legs. He was now buff. “YEAH!” Robert shouted. Then jumped over the mountain. PART TWO! (This means you got through the annoying interludes! Yay!) Grammar man was on alert. Jeffery was recording his daily coughing and so he was on alert. Suddenly two beasts that looked like fish with 4 buff legs ran over Jeffery They were each ridden by cans of tuna. Oh no grammar man said Interludes: (Already.) If a monkey were to eat some cheese, then my bob would go crazy. Food is tasty so yum hum hum yum cheesy pizza with peppers and sausage and extreme hot sauce, as well as some cough syrup. Have you ever just sat down and wondered, do cheeses hate goats? WRITER’S BLOCK IS FUNNNNNNNNNN! HE! Part 3 Interludes. Part 4 Interludes. There aren’t many who know of tuna’s powerful ally, the dairian army of cheeses. Led by none other than Stephen the strong. Part 5 1000 words! Interludes Whoa whoa whoa, whoa. “This is Jeffery here, and I think that this is getting out of hand! Just do the next part properly (Redacted)! I want to know what happened to us!” “But, but but” (Redacted) began, “Fine.” He sighed. Part 7 Jeffery woke up coughing. He was tied to a ceiling in a prison. Looking around, he saw Grammar Man next to him. “I has good grammars…” he muttered in his sleep. Outside of the prison cell, Jeffery found cans of tuna guarding the door on their buff, horse-fish. Noticeably, the fish were tuna. Huh. across the stone hallway, there was a blobfish. Jeffery heard a loud noise. “Psst, remember me? From like… 9 paragraphs ago?” The sentient scissors! The cans forgot to prison the scissors! “Call me, slice. Like pizza!” Slice snipped the rope, and Jeffery fell to the ground. Grammar man looked around. “I is grammars man!” He shouted, before jumping down the broken wall. By forgetting to imprison their new friend slice the cans of tuna made 2 mistakes 1 they allowed jeffery, grammar man to ran free. 2 they let them know about the secret location of there base. We should prepare an attack! Grammar man said to Jeffery “I agree.” Jeffery replied. “Guys?” Slice chimed in. yes Jeffery asked, “While inside the base, trying to save you, I found a thing. The tuna cans are looking for an ancient prophecy! that will give them the power to destroy planets. Their plans have changed guys they aren’t going to rule the multiverse or the multimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultimultiverse they want to destroy everything in it!” “They want to destroy everything in it!” Slice said, panicked. Jeffery looked around with horror. “I may have left a clue to that prophecy behind.” He said. “What?” Slice yelled. “It was a monster!” Jeffery said, in his defense. “Uh-hu!” Grammar man said. “Grammars man herd of it to.” Slice paused. “Wait.” He said. “How do you misspell your speaking?” “Ye” He replied simply. “Also, did anybody notice that there wasn’t any part 6?” “YEEEEE!” “Anyway,” Slice said, " what did you leave behind, Jeffery?” “An empty cage.” Slice gasped. “That is a monster!” Jeffery couldn’t believe it. The whole time he had spent lazily guarding the empty cage, before eventually leaving it completely, was now threatening the omniverse as they knew it! Yet for some reason, he was at peace. He had narrowly escaped the cans of tuna, his coughing ruining their stealthy approach. Grammar man taunted them before they entered the caves of Hungerungerungred, home of the - COUGH COUGH, COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!- Hungerungerung Giants. Perhaps they would be able to fight the tuna cans. But now, they were making a campfire. “Almost got it,” Slice said, using himself, and some flint, to light a fire. “Got it!” He said as he lit the fire. “So whats you’re backstory.” Grammar man asked. “I was born five days ago. My family was taken by the tuna cans… even though I don’t have one. It’s supposed to be a dramatic scene where we are all sad about the cans of tuna. I guess I’m ruining that.” “Grammars man has have had good live.” Grammar man said. “But then theyd invented the obnoxious annoying evil horrible unicycle.” He stopped talking. “Alright, then I guess it’s my turn.” Jeffery said. “Unicycle?.!” Grammar man said. “I’m just going to try and ignore that you just said 3 different types of punctuation at once.” Slice said. “Moving on,” Jeffery said. “My family has forever been an ancient line of guardians. Guarding an empty cage. My father failed to tell me the most important reason to guard it. I figured it out, finally, when my friend Bob decided to turn on me and reveal that he was a can of tuna.” Jeffery sighed. “After eating Bob, I angered the cans of tuna.” Slice gasped, his eyes widening. “They got revenge on me by giving me-” Cough Cough COUGH COUGH COUGH! “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Which is causing my skin to turn blue.” “That was pointed out in part six,” Slice said, “But it wasn’t there. Sorry readers!” “Ye.” Grammar man said sadly, ignoring what Slice said. “See?” Slice said. “Sad scene where we mourn the cans of tuna and their decision to destroy the omniverse. Also, this Jeffery story is incredibly long! Let somebody else have a turn (Redacted)!” Cough cough. COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!!! “No. I won’t give anybody else a turn for an entire part!” (Redacted) yelled “Wait a minute,” Slice said in between the stories. “This section, starting with “‘See?” Slice said. ‘Sad scene’... You get the picture. Anyway, that scene is slightly indented!” “What? NOOOOOO.” (Redacted) said. Sounding as sarcastic as humanly possible. Slice glared at him. Congratulations! You have reached a point in the story, where all character rights will be transferred to (Redacted 3) for a month. After that, she must transfer the ownership to (Redacted 2), in the share screen by clicking “Transfer Ownership.” (Remember the Hungerungerung Giants from Hungerungerungered valley. Also, the perspective swaps from person to person in the following order: Jeffery, Grammar man, and Slice. (Redacted 2), you get the same rules. I will go through and revize revise mistakes. Slice needs to break the fourth wall a-lot, and get annoyed about small things, like slightly indented lines.) Interludes Cans of lime are the least diabolical thing in the universe. Our feeble brains can do anything but fail to process the power in which they hold. ((Redacted 3) Insert interludes here) Once upon a time there was a rock. A nice piece of fossiliferous limestone with a small amount of fossils. Those fossils were all just small unidentified micro organisms. This stone was 8 and ¼ inches tall and 2 inches wide. This stone was a slightly before triangular pyramid with rounded edges and a top that bent down slightly. The base of the rock was an equilateral triangle. One day this rock thought I’m gonna do a backflip. The end. ((Redacted 2) inserts interludes here.) The potato was hot and cheesy. It was on fire. It was probably a baked potato. The unicorn trotted across the rainbow thinking, I believe in little girls! The little girl sat on the couch thinking, I believe in unicorns! “Popcorn!” My stomach says, followed by “flamingos”! The monster thought, why am I a monster? Part 8 (Written by (Redacted 3), and (Redacted 2)) (Have fun!) I enjoy not being sick. Jeffery thought, and then coughed. It twas a nice morning and everyone had finished telling their backstories and then put out the fire and went to bed. Jeffery was the only one awake. For a moment. HAK-HAK-HAKK! Jeffery coughed. Cough you man; grammars man said sleepy. “WHO HAS AWOKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER?” Slice bellowed grandly. i could did? grammars man said. “Man that guy and his I’s” Slice muttered. Jeffery v Wow. So little happened in part 8 (Redacted 3) may finish their paragraph, and ownership of the document once again is mine. INTERLUDES MISS MAN! WHOOOO! The flubba flubba is made of nubba nubba but nubba nubba is made of flubba flubba and flubba flubbas eat nerbba nerbbas, that eat rubba rubbas, which eat bubba bubba grass, discovered by the amazing scientist Jubba Jubba, Grabba Grabba Part 9 Grammars man walked with jeffery through the sandstone chasm it wasnt very deep only about 4 feet deep actually. “i is worried” grammars man said “grammars man is not very liked by thes hungerungerung giants” “don’t worry” jeffery saids “they shall end the warz” Grammars man almost agreed, but something jumped out and attacked Slice was holding a feeling of absolutely seething rage. Nothing in the entire world could EVER redeem that last grammar man paragraph. Except maybe a paragraph of his own as long as that other Jeffery paragraph… Also, Stephen the Strong had ambushed them. “You.” Slice said angrily. “You-” Slice stopped talking as everybody saw a 3 year old, blonde-haired girl in a blue jumpsuit, jump over the chasm shooting a ginormous laser gun at somebody else. She missed. But then a buff tomato joined the fight. What was happening? Ignoring the confusing events, Slice returned his focus to Stephen. “I know you…” Slice said. “...Cheez.” Cheez’s eyes began to glow red. “My name is STEPHEN!” He shouted, forming a lance and a shield into his nonexistent hands. Oops. “(Redacted)” Slice complained. “I don’t like the length of my last paragraph. Can you do another one about me?” (Redacted), clearly startled to see slice again, flipped a name tag on his desk to his normal name. The other side looked like it said “Grabba Grabba” “Er” (Redacted) said. “Sorry I haven’t written your character for a while, and I’m just coming back to it after a long time, I’ll give you, slice, what you deserve.” Slice ran towards Cheez, fueled by the rage inside of him. He leaped up 10 feet into the air before landing a few inches away from cheez, slicing a small amount of his forehead off. Cheez glared at him, then swung his lance at slice, who blocked with his own foot. Grammar man flew over, and punched cheez square in the face. Cheez retaliated and sent Grammar man flying backward. “I have good grammar…” He said in a dazed voice. Jeffery followed, with a simple kick. Slice then came from behind, and attacked Cheez by bonking Cheez on the head with his own head. Cheez staggered back. Dropping his lance onto the rocky ground. Noticeably, it was simply a nail jammed into a screw, enlarged by the Tuna Can’s diabolical evil device. Cheez took a step back, before vanishing. (Redacted) wrote a sentence. “Ooo” everyone said. INTERLUDES Cheez appeared in front of the cans of tuna. “You are in pain.” Pneumonoultra said. “I’m experiencing… memories.” Cheez said, gasping. “Unfortunately, we will have to remove you.” “What?” “We sense your feelings and plans.” Cheez watched helplessly as Pneumonoultra’s cubelike hand reached out toward him. Black. The arrow was sad. He had hurt his head again. He didn’t like flying. Except, it wasn’t really that important, because he was just an arrow, and wasn’t alive. I like to eat yummy cheese when I'm living in a large grapefruit so I don't want to copy antigravity fun machines I like to eat my cheese in the morning, evening, 12, harglenuggin o'clock, and when I'm in the tuna can's prison YAYYYYYYY wait aren't cheeses allied with the cans of tuna? Am I in danger? I think I angered the cans of tuna! Just think, any second now I might end up being wiped from ex- Cheez walked away from the large palace. “You. Will. Feel. The. Wrath. Of. Ste-” He paused. “Cheez.” He whispered. PART 10 Jeffery sat in front of a hulking being, slightly plump, with a comically large nose. “I’m sorry” He said, with a very squeaky voice, “Us giants are allergic to tuna.” Lingonberry, said grammars man said. wow just think (Redacted) didnt add that redundant redundant grammars mistake on purpose when he did it on accident. Slice suddenly knew that he was the author’s new favorite character. As they walked away from the hungerungerung valley, Jeffery sighed. “Well, so much for that idea.” Jeffery whispered. “notting of the kidding of the not not.” “Grammar man, why are you so redundant lately?” “is happy in happy land where I am and I am happy.” Why? “Oh no.” Jeffery whispered. “What.” Slice asked, angry. “Grammar man is happy.” Slice looked forward, eyes facing the viewers, scared. Then his worst nightmare began. Jeffery could see that slice no longer thought he was (Redacted)’s favorite character, As grammar man bellowed out with many sentences that had no proper grammar. “Iillian ate that cheeses, and gideon and eric ate those milk and i don’t like cOMMAS anymore. does anybody have some sheep cheese. I like to slap numbers like harglenuggin, and blitzlnuggin and shplaplnuggin and tenteen and ardblargeglugg and ug and ugglebuggle, and 45 and shnitzlnuggin? dID you know that I have a sIDEKiCK named spelling mon? i won’t allow quotation marks in the quotation marks that are inside the quotation marks but you don’t no where they is. Grammars man was done being happy for now and so he decided that he would just have no periods commas or any punctuation marks and then he flew out the window and then he was scared because their was know window that was they’re so he hit his head and google docs didnt know what to do about the grammar anymor and then the destiny peoples persons person people who controlled they’re lifes and fates decided to eat some yummy cheeseseses (Redacted), (Redacted 2), and (Redacted 3) decided to eat some yummy cheeses as they idly typed. Cheez walked across the dusty gray ground. In his right, cubelike hand, he held his lance, a shortened nail jammed into a screw, and in his left, he carried a shield, which used to have the insignia of the cans of tuna, but he scratched it off. Cheez didn’t have very many options, he had considered talking to Slice and his friends, but in the end, he knew it wouldn’t go well. He stopped, then looked around toward a nearby forest. He began to set up a camp for the night, starting a fire, careful not to melt himself in the blazing heat. Then he got an idea. Samantha missed Miss man again, and shot again. She missed again. “Robert!” Samantha called to the lazy tomato. “Fine.” Robert sighed. Robert jumped on top of Miss man, and Samantha shot again. She missed and hit Robert, who turned, temporarily, into an ordinary tomato. Any second now, he would come back alive. Miss man turned, and ran away. Slice skipped his paragraph because he was in too much of a daze to do anything but follow Jeffery. Jeffery walked through the thick forest that they had found themselves inside. Walking into a clearing, he saw the weirdest thing he had ever seen. A blobfish, inside a large, almost giant, floating fishbowl, and with a disproportionately large, droopy nose, hovered in the air above a large rock. “Greetings, Jeffery, Slice, and Grammar man.” it said, mouth not moving. “Have the we meeted?” Grammar man asked. “No.” The blobfish said, “I just like to be creepy. My name is Blubby.” “Where did you learn our names?” Slice asked. Good to see him start to come out of his weakness. Jeffery thought, before he coughed a good 3 dozen times, and then proceeded to add 36 tally marks in his notebook. “(Redacted) himself told me for this exact moment.” “A destiny persons?” Grammar man asked, surprised. Interludes “I’m a smiley face,” the happy face sang, “I’m a smiley face and I will stay here for eternity!” Ta-Da. “Gluggle gluggle gluggle.” said Gluggle guy. “NO!” Said Grammar man’s sidekick, Spelling mon. “i hav beeeten u glugle geye! Ey wand two hav ae mispeled advenchre en uh forst!” PART 11 "How are you doing today؟" Grammars man asked SIice whimpered “I is happy said grammars man but not 2 happy so i will have just a story and steal slice’s paragraph and i’m becomeing an even more and more anoying character so i is going to go to the libary did you no that the backwards question mark both broke doogle gocs, and, also, drove, jubba jubba grabba grabba, insane.” Jeffery sat next to Blubby. The strange fish sat in a floating fish bowl. Grammars man refused to look at him. He’d seemed to be scared of one who was so directly influenced by a “Destiny Persons”. It was strange he hadn’t realized that Slice had, on numerous occasions, done the same thing. The fire sent waves of heat toward them. Slice sat silently, leaning against a log beside them. Jeffery coughed as he stared into the flame. The red orange glow reminded him all too much of the… the… That volcano… where the Cans of Tuna first found him and he was given Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Diabolical Aluminum Cans! It couldn’t have been! Jeffery gasped, eyes widening. Glorf! Glorfglorfglorfglorfglorf. Jeffery understood. The cage. The EMPTY CAGE. He’d left it in that very volcano. Jeffery gasped suddenly, eyes widening as he fell backward, coughing and looking toward the stars. I was the first to react, pulling myself onto my feet, giving Blubby a glare, and sprinting over to help with… whatever was happening. What was happening? Jeffery stuttered as I approached. “The cage.” He said, whispering softly. He sat up. “I know where the empty cage is.” Glorf. Grammar Man jumped. “Where?” Blubby demanded, “Where?!” “The volcano. The one where I met Grammars man. The cage is there. And all we need to do is beat the Tuna Cans there.” Jeffery spoke in gasps. He coughed. Glorf. He looked at the others. “We’re going. NOW.” INTERLUDES: "Last time I screamed at the cheese," Bart whispered, "I THREW A PURPLE LEATHER BOOT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF THE NEAREST UPSIDE DOWN GAS STATION!!!" He paused. "But, it's fine. I only wanted to make friends with my face's cousin's uncle's parrot's stash of turtle hair. Agglebaggle isn’t a cheese, unfortunately. He does, however, enjoy causing people to have the random urge to paint themselves with neon purple paint, then do cartwheels while flying -- specifically using an enchanted bag, made by the King of the Purple Spaghetti Noodles, and has a retail price of $99.99. The King of the Purple Spaghetti Noodles also happens to be Agglebaggle - @Conure1243 this one deserves its place here also did I somehow get text in the “spoiler” title?! edit: it didn’t? It was clearly in the “spoiler” ting outside the box. Too bad I didn’t screenshot. *blinks* … WaT?
NerdSandwich she/her Posted May 19 Posted May 19 @Conure1243 I'd quote you on that if I had the discipline to memorize it
SpartanBrigade He/Him Posted May 19 Posted May 19 "I blink in confusion at my sudden lack of appendages" - @Vielence 1
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