The Tenth Pancake Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 So recently I have been checking out the wheel of Time books from my school library I just can't get over the fact that all these covers really, really, really, suck! Especially book 6! It looks like a really bad pulp romance novel and Rand (or at least I think it's him, but he looks like a 40 year old man) has a chest that is three times the ratio of his waist. and what's with the Chuck a Rama wagon on the cover of Shadows Rising?! Anyway, the point is, it looks way weird for me to roam the halls of junior high with a brick of a novel that looks like gone with the wind gone wrong. And idk, it's funny to show off such a bad cover hahaha! Most people in general who I've shown it to get a kick out of them, including me. And so in honor of these art monstrosities, I have renamed book six (with help from those who have never read it) to be "Back at it Again with Mike and Susan" just cuz the names got the people on the cover too well. And since I just started book 7, I have renamed the cover: "Home Fitness Routines with Chuck Simmons" The person in the front looks like Chuck Norris. You're welcome. Now you can't unsee it. (Also what's with his crazy wide 90 degree angle elbow?) Reply below with your cover renamings! 1
Weltall Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) Amusingly, people have been having fun with this for a long time. The venerable Wheel of Time FAQ made fun of the covers, or at least the earlier ones since they get better later on. It titled Lord of Chaos' cover 'The Passion of the Aes Sedai' for pretty much the exact reasons you noticed. Have a look here Edited February 23, 2019 by Weltall 2
The Tenth Pancake Posted February 23, 2019 Author Posted February 23, 2019 Dang that's a good rename hahaha "Back at it again with Mike and Susan" kinda sounds like a TV show hehe 1
Jaywalk he/him Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 The newer covers are beautiful. I don't mind some of the older ones--specifically Book 1, Book 8, and Book 9.
Ammanas Posted February 23, 2019 Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) A blogger I follow compared the old and new covers of Wheel of Time in a way that I thought was fun http://thewertzone.blogspot.com/2011/07/wheel-of-time-art-off-part-1.html?m=1 http://thewertzone.blogspot.com/2011/07/wheel-of-time-art-off-part-2.html?m=1 Edited February 23, 2019 by Ammanas 1
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted February 28, 2019 Posted February 28, 2019 I vote we rename TSR to "The Choice is Yours at Chuck-a-Rama" by Robert Jordan 1
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted March 8, 2019 Posted March 8, 2019 13 hours ago, The Tenth Pancake said: YES. SO MUCH YES! I vote yes Aw, thanks. As a sidenote, I worried that such a fun thread had died by the time I got around to it.
The Tenth Pancake Posted March 10, 2019 Author Posted March 10, 2019 Haha yeah. Honestly I was pleasantly surprised when mine got answered cuz so few people I know have read these books or are reading them.
Jofwu he/him Posted March 11, 2019 Posted March 11, 2019 I was always so embarrassed to carry Lord of Chaos around when I was reading it in high school. The Dragkhar makes it look like some kind of vampire romance novel. "Lord of Twilight"? How you take Dumai's Wells and turn it into that, I'll never know! Crown of Swords looks like it's inspired by 80s heavy metal. "Crowns N' Swords"?
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted March 16, 2019 Posted March 16, 2019 I was carrying these around and I covered the covers almost all the time because the art was so bad. It looked like a bad romance written in the 1970s by a lonely housewife desperate for adventure. I am petitioning to rename LoC to "Disproportionate Men In Loose Shirts Flexing In Front of Swooning Ladies". And Moraine(?) serving the others tea on TSR makes no sense. She had them serving her tea in the first few books.
Just a Lifetime he/him Posted March 18, 2019 Posted March 18, 2019 (edited) I have a vague recollection of people talking about "Disco Rand" in Sweet's provisional cover art for The Gathering Storm. (His final cover art was significantly improved.) Warning: The provisional cover art features a minor spoiler (another reason it was changed). Spoiler I like the ebook "covers" they put out after Brandon started working on the series. These even helped me overcome my initial reluctance to use an ereader back in the day. (No spoilers here, just reducing the size of the post.) Spoiler Edited March 18, 2019 by Just a Lifetime Add scarequotes
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted March 18, 2019 Posted March 18, 2019 Disco Rand makes me want to puke! Full Wheel of Time Renaming Why Ride a Warhorse When You Could Ride A Gentle Pony Wierd Fashion Statements Guys Look I Have a Sword! We're In The Desert So Let's Ride A Giant Ornate Wagon Oh Hey Look an Abandoned City Disproportionate Men in Oversized Shirts Flex on Them Haters CHAARRRGGGEEE Oh Look Snow Let's Play Tuon is Literally a Toddler There is a Map and It Looks Important LET'S YELL AT THE CLOUDS To Vandalize Towers Guys Look I Have a Sword! The Sequel Somebody, please redo these as trashy romance. 5
The Tenth Pancake Posted March 19, 2019 Author Posted March 19, 2019 *in a gruff book cover 7 Rand voice* I don't care about my haters, and if you wanna fite me, then fiTE MeH (Bonus points to anyone who gets the reference)
Jofwu he/him Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 On 3/18/2019 at 4:12 AM, Just a Lifetime said: I have a vague recollection of people talking about "Disco Rand" in Sweet's provisional cover art for The Gathering Storm. Wow, that's bad! I NEVER noticed that the final version has the same spoiler, sort of! It's much more subtle, but it's there if you know what you're looking for. Guess I just never spent much time looking closely at those covers. On 3/18/2019 at 4:12 AM, Just a Lifetime said: I like the ebook "covers" they put out after Brandon started working on the series. I love all of these EXCEPT Eye of the World. So unfortunately that they did all of them so well except for the FIRST... Looks like you've picked up Treasure Island or something.
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 1 minute ago, Jofwu said: Wow, that's bad! I NEVER noticed that the final version has the same spoiler, sort of! It's much more subtle, but it's there if you know what you're looking for. Guess I just never spent much time looking closely at those covers. I love all of these EXCEPT Eye of the World. So unfortunately that they did all of them so well except for the FIRST... Looks like you've picked up Treasure Island or something. The original Eye of the World cover, no matter how inaccurate, is still one of my favorite WoT covers
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 Wait. I just learned that it is Rand on all the covers. I thought A Crown of Swords and Lord of Chaos had Perrin on the front. Would it have been that hard to give Rand red hair? And normal arms? And you know, make him look the same on every cover? 1
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 9 minutes ago, BookishOcelot said: Wait. I just learned that it is Rand on all the covers. I thought A Crown of Swords and Lord of Chaos had Perrin on the front. Would it have been that hard to give Rand red hair? And normal arms? And you know, make him look the same on every cover? I gave up on trying to Identify characters on the cover after TDR... But, to give Sweet's covers some credit, I actually quite enjoy most of the backgrounds. CoS has an excellent depiction of Shadar Logoth. Also as far as My canon depictions are concerned: Dan Dos Santos' Moiraine is Moiraine. Rand is either Michael Whelan's Rand, or the one on the more recent Winter's Heart. Perrin on the New Towers of Midnight Mat is Sweet's depiction 1
Bookish Ocelot she/her Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 (edited) The awkward moment when the fan art is better than the canon art. The backgrounds are stunning, it’s the characters I have issues with. Edited March 20, 2019 by BookishOcelot
ThroughTheLivingIlliterate He/Him Posted November 10, 2025 Posted November 10, 2025 The CoS cover really looks like they caught Chuck Norris (I guess) practicing for an upcoming boxing match. (Jake Paul's newest opponent?)
Clarkmon22 He/Him Posted November 10, 2025 Posted November 10, 2025 (edited) 5 hours ago, IlliterateDragon said: The CoS cover really looks like they caught Chuck Norris (I guess) practicing for an upcoming boxing match. (Jake Paul's newest opponent?) necro-ing much? if treamayne or a mod doesn't swoop in, "necroing" is just reviving a very old post without new info or context to do so, but I guess its probably fine for such a casual topic Edited November 10, 2025 by Clarkmon22
ThroughTheLivingIlliterate He/Him Posted November 11, 2025 Posted November 11, 2025 17 hours ago, Clarkmon22 said: necro-ing much? if treamayne or a mod doesn't swoop in, "necroing" is just reviving a very old post without new info or context to do so, but I guess its probably fine for such a casual topic Dang, I did not realize it was that old. That's my bad. I've been reading the Wheel of Time recently and was just scrolling.
Clarkmon22 He/Him Posted November 11, 2025 Posted November 11, 2025 (edited) 11 minutes ago, IlliterateDragon said: Dang, I did not realize it was that old. That's my bad. I've been reading the Wheel of Time recently and was just scrolling. nah its aight, I don't care but mods might Edited November 11, 2025 by Clarkmon22
chongjasmine Posted December 3, 2025 Posted December 3, 2025 Book 3, the dragon reborn, was what led me to read wheel of time.
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