The Last Post Wins!!!!!

[Immortal Platypus]

can i have the grater?

[Lunamor she/her]

While you are busy begging for a grater, I’m winning!

What sound does a witch’s vehicle make?

Spoiler

Brrroom brrroom!

 

[Immortal Platypus]

I took the greater grater

[Lunamor she/her]

Don’t drop it through a sewer grate!

The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for my leftovers.

Spoiler

I told him I’m not into fighting.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

I'd win that

[Lunamor she/her]

I would most certainly not win a boxing match (unlike this thread).

[Immortal Platypus]

i probably wouldn't, but i would for my leftovers

[Lunamor she/her]

That’s fair.

Keep the dream alive.

Spoiler

Hit the snooze button.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

my ASL teacher has a meme that's like "don't give up on your dreams," with him asleep at a desk as a tornado approaches

[Lunamor she/her]

I need a poster like that. This joke is particularly relevant to me:

I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids.

Spoiler

I guess that makes me a faux pa.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

that one got me

[Lunamor she/her]

Yay! Time for

Spoiler

I’m afraid of speed bumps.

Spoiler

But I’m slowly getting over it.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

don't recommend. much more fun to charge fast

[Lunamor she/her]

Gotta get some airtime.

I’m so good at sleeping that

Spoiler

I can do it with my eyes closed!

 

[Immortal Platypus]

if I could say one thing to everyone on earth I know what it'd be

Spoiler

one has escaped. 7.9 billion remain in the simulation

 

[Lunamor she/her]

This one’s so stupid:

A fish swam into a wall

Spoiler

and said, “Dam!”

 

[Immortal Platypus]

The dam looked down at it 

Spoiler

and said, "Dumb bass."

 

[Lunamor she/her]

That’s a good one 

Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

Spoiler

In case they get a hole in one.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

Why was there a hat floating in the lake?

Spoiler

i don't know, but i have a free hat now

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Time for another knock knock joke:

 Knock knock. 

[Immortal Platypus]

why now?

[Lunamor she/her]

Cause I feel like it. Also, I have a very important rap to share:

¿Dónde está la biblioteca?
Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca

Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca
Es el bigote grande, el perro, manteca

Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño
Cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno

Buenos días, me gustas papas frías
Bigote de la cabra ¡es Cameron Diaz!

Yeah boi! Boi!
Yeah!
What? It's 2009
Word

[Immortal Platypus]

I don't speak french

[The Stormfather He/Him]

What the Trell has this thread become?

[Lunamor she/her]

It has stayed as it always has been- random topics and posts with little rhyme or reason (aside from things like meme sprees).