Ashspren Posted May 28, 2018 Report Share Posted May 28, 2018 I was incredibly bored one day, and I just decided to make a bunch of these... Warning: cringey-ness below. Awful puns and terrible references follow this message. Viewer discretion is advised. Reckoners: Spoiler You’re a potato in a minefield. (Someone actually used this on me. My heart melted a little bit...) If you were an Epic, your name would be Beautiful. It’s no Calamity that we met. Elantris: Spoiler Even if we never met and had only written letters to each other, I would still choose to enter an arranged marriage with you. Warbreaker: Spoiler On a scale of how much I love you from 1-10, one being Bluefingers and ten being Nightblood, you’re a solid 8. (Sorry to anyone who might like Bluefingers, but I really didn’t...) Stormlight Archive: Spoiler Are you a Stick, or are you just on fire? I want to be with you almost as much as I want Kaladin to be happy. It wouldn’t take 10 heartbeats for me to find you in a crowd. Oathbringer: Spoiler You may not be able to fly, but I can make an exception. It wouldn’t be like dividing by zero if we were a couple. Rithmatist: Spoiler If we weren’t together, it would be a tragedy. I would draw a nine point defense if it meant protecting you. Emperor’s Soul: Spoiler I don’t need Forgery to make my life amazing, because you’re in it. Mistborn— Secret History: Spoiler If you were God, I wouldn’t slap you across the face. I want to be “that nobleman of yours.” Mistborn: Spoiler You make book covers? Can you make one called Trials of Monument? (Someone asked that to a friend of mine while I was in the room, then raised their eyebrows at me afterwards. I died a little on the inside...) You may not be Kelsier, but I can settle for you. *give someone a handkerchief* Perfect State: Spoiler I would give you a better first date than that... General Sanderson: Spoiler I love you almost as much as I love Sanderson books. I might actually re-enter society and put down my Sanderson book because of you. Again, I was incredibly bored. Feel free to use them if you need... Anyone have any others? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post King Cole he/him Posted May 28, 2018 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 28, 2018 (edited) Making Pickup lines is my specialty Are you a Brass Compounder, cause you look really hot. Are you an awakened sword, cause you take my breath away. I must be tapping Chromium, cause there's no other way I would be lucky enough to meet you. You must be a Windrunner, cause my eyes have been stuck to you all night. Am I burning Atium, cause I see a future with you I must be a Seeker, cause I have been getting good vibes from you all day I wish I was a Keeper, cause I wanna remember this night forever. So you can burn Electrum, see any futures with me? I'm gonna tap some bronze, cause I wanna be awake all night with you. I wish I was a Truthwatcher, cause then I could progress with you. You must be a Surgebinder, cause you are looking simply Radiant Are you bonded to a spren? Must be, cause you glow Wish I could burn Bendalloy, then I could make this moment with you last forever You must have lashed me, cause I think im falling for you Not even Odium could break our bond Edit: I gotta tap some Cadmium to restore that breath you just took away Edited May 29, 2018 by King Cole 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted May 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 @King Cole... that was incredible. I love you as much as Wayne loves his hat. When you're gone, I miss you almost as much as Hoid misses his instant noodles. I'd become a Worldhopper and travel across the Cosmere to search for you. Are you a Radiant? Because it's almost like you're glowing— you make my world a little bit brighter. You're so amazing, I would almost rather date you over a book character. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndlerunner he/him Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 Are you Lift? Because you're awesome. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Ashspren said: @King Cole... that was incredible. It's what I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon he/him Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 I love you as much as I do the 17th Shard. So much that I check on you when I could be doing something with my life... Are you a spren? Cause I wanna bond with you. Are you a lurcher? Cause I feel you pulling on me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca she/her Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 There are some good ones in this thread: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL he/him Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 Are you chull dung? Because you totally rock! Don’t try that one guys. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted May 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 58 minutes ago, Barbarian AL said: Are you chull dung? Because you totally rock! Don’t try that one guys. When someone tells me not to do something, I always end up doing it... I’m so trying that one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL he/him Posted May 29, 2018 Report Share Posted May 29, 2018 2 minutes ago, Ashspren said: When someone tells me not to do something, I always end up doing it... I’m so trying that one. Lool please report back if you do! If you get a positive response I'll personally hail you the leige of all charisma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 I've actually used some of mine, to a certain degree of success Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 @King Cole, what is this ‘certain degree of success’? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 13 minutes ago, Apollyon said: @King Cole, what is this ‘certain degree of success’? Well I have a girlfriend sooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 You use these on her? Or you used these so now you have her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 32 minutes ago, Apollyon said: You use these on her? Or you used these so now you have her? All of the above. Although I have made probably 50+ pickup lines besides these cause she loves hearing them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, King Cole said: All of the above. Although I have made probably 50+ pickup lines besides these cause she loves hearing them Someone has actually used one or two of the pickup lines from my first post on me. And, they compared me to some of my favorite Sanderson characters, and made some references to some of the greatest scenes between couples in the books. I’m going to see what happens when they hear the chull dung pickup line... Needless to say, they are awesome. It’s great when you’re with someone who’s also a Sanderfan Edited May 30, 2018 by Ashspren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apollyon he/him Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 And then there’s me, hoping to convince at least one person to read more than Mistborn Era 1... It hurts to not have someone to discuss Cosmere with. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 8 hours ago, Apollyon said: And then there’s me, hoping to convince at least one person to read more than Mistborn Era 1... It hurts to not have someone to discuss Cosmere with. Hey, that’s what the Shard is for, right? The person who used the pickup lines to me introduced me to Sanderson. They wanted me to read Mistborn, but I still hadn’t gotten it within two weeks. They surprised me with the Final Empire, and told me to start reading at that moment. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashspren Posted May 30, 2018 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 Sorry for the double post... but I told them the chull dung pickup line... Me: (insert chull dung pickup line) Them: ... Me: Oh, come on! You were supposed to have a reaction for me to post on the Shard! Them: But that was just terrible... like, no... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL he/him Posted May 31, 2018 Report Share Posted May 31, 2018 4 hours ago, Ashspren said: Sorry for the double post... but I told them the chull dung pickup line... Me: (insert chull dung pickup line) Them: ... Me: Oh, come on! You were supposed to have a reaction for me to post on the Shard! Them: But that was just terrible... like, no... I feel ... dismayed. Was worth a shot I guess lol. Here’s some other ones I thought off though my competence in this particular area is evidently lacking : You must be a chasmfiend, because you’re such a gemheart! If we were on a bridge run, I’d take the place infront of you. Not even the Lord Ruler’s magic can dampen my love for you! Your exuberance would even make the Shin grass dance in delight! Please excuse the corn, I’ve admitted my incompetence so I can’t be held accountable lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted May 31, 2018 Report Share Posted May 31, 2018 1 hour ago, Barbarian AL said: You must be a chasmfiend, because you’re such a gemheart! This reminds me of one I forgot. You must be a chasmfiend because all I want is your heart 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL he/him Posted May 31, 2018 Report Share Posted May 31, 2018 8 hours ago, King Cole said: This reminds me of one I forgot. You must be a chasmfiend because all I want is your heart Much better!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gancho Libre he/him Posted May 31, 2018 Report Share Posted May 31, 2018 I was under the impression the cosmere didn't have cars... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1st of Lunch he/him Posted June 1, 2018 Report Share Posted June 1, 2018 8 hours ago, Gancho Libre said: I was under the impression the cosmere didn't have cars... Wait...what...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Cole he/him Posted June 1, 2018 Report Share Posted June 1, 2018 24 minutes ago, 1st of Lunch said: Wait...what...? Cause Pickup lines are traditionally portrayed to get a girl into your car Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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