Robinski he/him Posted June 20, 2017 Report Share Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) I really wanted to wait until @kais and I could post together, but, well, I didn't, so there. I've never written fanfic before, so I'm probably rubbish at it, and writing someone else's character is a weird privilege that feels like it should be illegal. No doubt I have crashed and burned, but it was sooooooooooooo much fun that I'm completely unapologetic. Except to say, Kais, I'm really, really sorry!!!!!!! It's total frippery. If measured on the scale of political correctness, I suspect they wouldn't let the courier with the submission into the building in which they measure political correctness before they place things on the scale. Comments? If you like, but I'm trying to play it for laughs, so I've probably just offended everyone, unless there are any Australians on here Cheers, Robinski Edited December 29, 2017 by Robinski 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
industrialistDragon Posted June 20, 2017 Report Share Posted June 20, 2017 *squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* (that is the sound of enjoying guilty pleasure fanfic) Funfact: magda can in fact benchpress 1.325 quirks. :3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) I am so in love with this!!! @Robinski - I'm glad you subbed first, because I am borrowing some of your clothing lingo. You know, I would so read a book with these two characters. Maybe we should co-write something. Also, Magda would be a highly amusing role model for Moth. Edited June 21, 2017 by kais 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace of Hearts Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 Heh, I actually wrote quite a bit of fanfiction myself back in high school. Not sure if it helped my writing all that much, but it was a lot of fun. Well, I am definitely entertained. I take it Magda is Kaisa's character? I love how the two interact, and their actions definitely speak loud and clear even through their words (I think the fact that they both continue to engage in conversation and play along with each other despite Magda's slightly hostile demeanor says a lot about who they are). Although I must say that the favorite part of my chapter is the setting of "Earth (probably)." I'm not sure why. I also assume that the 2010 drink is ancient by that point. Since this is more of a fun chapter, I didn't go as much into the nitty gritty with the analysis. It definitely had me entertained all the way through. I'm looking forward to seeing your next submissions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski he/him Posted June 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 6 hours ago, industrialistDragon said: magda can in fact benchpress 1.325 quirks. I feel like it should be more... 3 hours ago, kais said: I would so read a book with these two characters. Maybe we should co-write something. It would be a pleasure, and an honour! 3 hours ago, kais said: Also, Magda would be a highly amusing role model for Moth. Lol. This does make me smile. I do then tend to run into the difficulty that's it's not exactly what I had planned for the first trilogy. Where would it fit in the Future Earth / Sorpsi cinematic universe, and other practical considerations? And you're planning to publish TWD, I assume, so the names would need to be changed. Rofl, so maybe it would be a Jerry Cornelius / Michael Moorcock / Eternal Champion sort of deal - with Mag as that traveller through the incarnations of man. (Look, @industrialistDragon, it's all connected!!!! ) 12 minutes ago, Wisps of Aether said: I take it Magda is Kaisa's character? Yup. 12 minutes ago, Wisps of Aether said: "Earth (probably)." I'm not sure why. Essentially because I'm not clear exactly on where / when / what @kais's story is set. 15 minutes ago, Wisps of Aether said: I also assume that the 2010 drink* is ancient by that point. Yes - "Montrachet is an Appellation d'origine contrôlée (AOC) and Grand Cru vineyard for white wine from Chardonnay in the Côte de Beaune subregion of Burgundy. Montrachet wines are the most expensive dry white wines in the world: prices can range from €150 to €2500 per 75 cl bottle." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamon he/him Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 So this was one of the best things ever. I loved the interplay between the characters. 8 hours ago, Robinski said: Rofl, so maybe it would be a Jerry Cornelius / Michael Moorcock / Eternal Champion sort of deal Yesssssss.... 11 hours ago, kais said: You know, I would so read a book with these two characters. Maybe we should co-write something. Also, Magda would be a highly amusing role model for Moth. I would also read a book with them... So now we have an Ard in the Court of the Dyad and Mag on Earth? @kais, you're sending your characters all over the universe! pg 2: hustled -> hustling pg 3: "Certainly, she was pick-Q-up-and-carry-him-to-the-bedroom strong." --lol pg 3, latter half: getting a bit purple, but probably fitting, for this. pg 4: "The term powder room had rather different connotations in this part of the world." --of what? pg 5: "She’ll need first aid the way you’re looking at her.” --lol pg 6: "Must be one of the many candidate planets they were still discovering out Beta Centauri way." --nice pg 7: "Very reasonable rates, and you don’t have to sleep with me if you don’t want to. That’s an optional extra.” --this is awesome. pg 10: love the ending! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski he/him Posted June 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) 3 hours ago, Mandamon said: So now we have an Ard in the Court of the Dyad Wait, wait, wait, wait.... what now? Did I miss something?! 3 hours ago, Mandamon said: pg 4: "The term powder room had rather different connotations in this part of the world." --of what? I'm leaning on Argentina (nominal) being closer to Columbia where a certain kind of powder comes from that's not instant coffee - perhaps it's a bit of a stretch. Aw, man, it's so exciting that people are digging this. All the while I was writing it over the weekend, I was like 'This is not what I should be spending my time on, this is a total distraction. I've got TMM to edit; I'm writing TCC; I've got 3 episodes of Writing Excuses to listen and note to keep on track to be caught up by December; and I've got 3 critiques coming on Monday.' But it was sooooooooo much fun. Time well spent Edited June 21, 2017 by Robinski 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 58 minutes ago, Robinski said: Wait, wait, wait, wait.... what now? Did I miss something?! @Mandamon and I have a little too much fun being CPs, I think. He put an Ard in the Dryad crowd for funsies. I plan on sticking some purple haired aliens into ATD. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamon he/him Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 3 hours ago, kais said: @Mandamon and I have a little too much fun being CPs, I think. He put an Ard in the Dryad crowd for funsies. I plan on sticking some purple haired aliens into ATD. It's cannon, now! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdpulfer he/him Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 - I like a lot of the description in the first couple of pages. Good job setting up the scenes, even if not much happens. - "Get you blokes anything?" This feels a little out of character given the South American setting. - I like the set-up, and Quirk's character. It's a little slow going, but the dialogue makes it fairly breezy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski he/him Posted June 23, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2017 7 hours ago, rdpulfer said: - I like a lot of the description in the first couple of pages. Good job setting up the scenes, even if not much happens. - "Get you blokes anything?" This feels a little out of character given the South American setting. - I like the set-up, and Quirk's character. It's a little slow going, but the dialogue makes it fairly breezy. Thanks for reading, RD - yeah, this is pretty much pure indulgence. I certainly didn't intend anything to actually happen - like a plot or anything On the out of character thing, I would say it's a well known fact that every bar in the northern hemisphere has an Australian working in it; and the corollary is true - there is a massive shortage of bar staff in Australia 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted June 23, 2017 Report Share Posted June 23, 2017 I love this thing so much, @Robinski. I keep rereading it. I'd like to save it, and post it on my website after TWD comes out in print (years from now...I can dream). Would that be alright with you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski he/him Posted June 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2017 6 hours ago, kais said: Would that be alright with you? That would be fine. I still have various notions roiling around in my brain about how to make something of it, like the co-author suggestion, which is very appealing, and what the third Q&M story might be (ideas were flowing on that prior to this), but time / 'dimensional' travel is not a thing that fits, really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kais Posted June 24, 2017 Report Share Posted June 24, 2017 I don't think her time period has to be taken literally. With hundreds of planets, it's easy to see a preindustrial world getting landed on and things getting caught up quick, I think. And now we have democracy, and a royal figurehead trying to find a place in the world. Solid story material. She has unlikely skills for space age society. I find the whole idea so interesting ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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