Cosmere Limericks

[Calderis he/him]

The past few days on the Shard have been kind of slow. So here's a ridiculous time waster.

 

There once was an ardent swordmaster, 

Whose speech was a vibrant disaster, 

He'd grumble with hues, 

While training bridge crews, 

He most certainly wasn't named Vasher. 

 

Wax has a friend who likes hats, 

Who battles with bubbles and bats, 

His accents are "borrowed," 

His history sorrowed,

That Wayne is the oddest of cats.

Edited August 20, 2018 by Calderis

[Ciridae]

A slippery girl that is awesome,

She can slide and make trees blossom,

She's got a Voidbringer,

And steals people's dinner,

If she had to, she'd eat a whole possum.

(This is hard)

Edited June 13, 2017 by Ciridae

[Calderis he/him]

@Ciridae I tried coming up with one for Lift and failed miserably. 

A girl named Shallan killed her parents, 

Admit this to herself well... She daren't, 

But because of her spren, 

She remembers again, 

And has gained magic powers inherent. 

 

Elantris's power once bloomed, 

Then the chasm turned it to a tomb, 

Through trial and error, 

Raoden's the bearer, 

Of Elantris's power resumed. 

[dashardie]

There once was a girl named Vin

Whose mentor really was a has-been

So she gulped down a vial

and ran for a mile

Thank god she was not Kaladin

[Confused]

These are fun! My entries:

A young boy named Kal was depressed.
The rain between years made him stressed.
His brother then died,
But Syl came to his side
And now they all call him Stormblessed!

As forgers go, Shai was the best.
An emperor owed her largesse.
She painted with Dor
Her soul stamps galore -
So many things left to Invest!

Jasnah and Ivory could Cast
Their souls anywhere but the past,
Desolations they knew
Would soon come anew.
How can humanity last?

[Calderis he/him]

Hrathen of Fjordell was torn, 

By the tenants of being a Gyorn,

Wild circumstances, 

And Dahkor advances, 

Forced him to save those he'd scorned. 

[+Extesian he/him]

Deep ‘neath the mountains of Sel

Approacheth a new type of h.ell

For Wyrn told no lies

Jaddeth will arise

And take up his place beside Trell

 

A nightmare created from Breath

That brings to the evil swift death.

If your thoughts aren’t so pure

Avoid the allure

Of a black sword, with silver sheath

 

With Honor she ruled many days

Til Odium invested in Braize

She knew it would d.amn her

But brave is our Slammer

Her prize was imprisoning Rayse

[Calderis he/him]

A pious and virtuous Shin, 

Accused of the gravest of sins, 

Truthless they said, 

His life he must shed, 

He slaughtered in white, assassin. 

Edit:

The shard is a wonderful place, 

Filled with knowledge and excessive grace, 

It's late and I'm tired, 

And I'm feeling inspired, 

To sleep 'fore I fall on my face. 

 

Goodnight. 

Edited June 14, 2017 by Calderis

[dashardie]

Kal had a brother named Tien

So cute, that he could not e'en

Til he went off to fight,

Oh what a plight!

Then Syl became his new sunbe-am

(it's a bit of a stretch, I know...)

[Calderis he/him]

The Old Magic, Taravangian sought, 

For the future is shadowed and fraught, 

Now no matter the cost, 

In the lives that are lost, 

He believes that salvation's been bought. 

[dashardie]

A friend we may have in Hoid

But that man, we learn to avoid

Whether it's in the mist

Or by the edge of a fist,

He may damnation us all to the void

Edited June 15, 2017 by dashardie
"damnation" just doesn't work

[Confused]

These are SO much more entertaining than theorizing! All of the entries are excellent, but I especially like Calderis's "good night" message and Taravangian ditty.

Shards are a piece of the whole
Of the cosmere’s very first soul.
Adonalsium they called him
Before they destroyed him,
And now Shards fulfill his role.

Leras and Ati were friends
Who decided to follow a trend.
A planet they made,
But the plans that they laid
Would lead to that planet’s end.

Honor was a very fine fellow.
He bought drinks to make his friends mellow.
But Odium came,
Honor’s death to proclaim,
And vibrated Honor to jello.
[I hypothesize Honor’s death created the Shattered Plains.]

Did Shashara Awaken a sword?
Or was it a spren from abroad?
She commanded “Kill evil,”
What an upheaval
When Nightblood received his reward!

Edited June 15, 2017 by Confused

[Calderis he/him]

10 minutes ago, Confused said:

These are SO much more entertaining than theorizing! All of the entries are excellent, but I especially like Calderis's "good night" message and Taravangian ditty.

Glad somebody else enjoys this as much as I do. 

[dashardie]

This is highly entertaining to me as well...much more satisfying than doing my ACTUAL work....

That Lift is oh so awesome

Or so its said quite often

You can't seem to work

While she has a Shardfork

And tries to eat a vasum

Edited June 15, 2017 by dashardie
spelling

[Calderis he/him]

They claimed 'twas the last desolation, 

While abandoning Taln to Damnation, 

It's utterly sad, 

That the Heralds are mad, 

Their actions deserve condemnation. 

 

A source of chaos in Azir, 

And a friend of the new Prime, most dear, 

Lift likes to eat, 

And she comes from the streets, 

Her penchant for novelty's clear. 

(the best I've come up with for Lift. Don't know why she makes this so difficult.) 

 

[What's a Seawolf?]

Right hand of the Survivor,

Of goods he's a supplier,

But then Kel disappeared,

He lost even more cheer,

Dockson got caught in a quagmire.

 

 

Master of so many tricks,

Some clearly do not like his shtick,

Stronger than Lightweavers,

Can't even catch fever,

Of course I'm talking about Stick!

 

 

[Confused]

Here's one for Lift:

Lift was from Rall Elorim.
That City of Shadows was dim.
She saw the Nightwatcher,
Who said, “Now I’ve gotcha,"
And made Lift become so awesome!

Edited June 15, 2017 by Confused

[Calderis he/him]

Obviously based on personal opinion here. 

 

A figure vastly over rated, 

By its fans, the Shard is inundated, 

"I am a stick," 

"I am a stick," 

I wish it was incinerated. 

Edited June 15, 2017 by Calderis

[CaptainRyan he/him]

5 hours ago, Calderis said:

Obviously based on personal opinion here. 

 

A figure vastly over rated, 

By its fans, the Shard is inundated, 

"I am a stick," 

"I am a stick," 

I wish it was incinerated. 

I teared up a little bit reading this. Beauty in prose. Patrick Rothfuss himself could not have written a more moving piece.

[Calderis he/him]

5 minutes ago, CaptainRyan said:

I teared up a little bit reading this. Beauty in prose. Patrick Rothfuss himself could not have written a more moving piece.

I try to be modest, but it's so hard to deny truth

[+Extesian he/him]

9 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I try to be modest, but it's so hard to deny truth

He tries to be modest, but sadly

Denying the truth, he does badly.

The Sharder from Portland

Gave it some thought and

Accepted his upvote gladly.

[Calderis he/him]

4 minutes ago, Extesian said:

He tries to be modest, but sadly

Denying the truth, he does badly.

The Sharder from Portland

Gave it some thought and

Accepted his upvote gladly.

As I previously stated. It's hard to deny truth. 

[+Extesian he/him]

 It was a good post. I support stick-bashing.

I have this temptation to do all my replies in limerick form. I that'll last about one post

Wait, let me rephrase

Imma be silly, no lie,

use limerick for my reply.

I doubt it'll last

So I'll do this quite fast

Before people think that I'm high.

[Elenion he/him]

11 hours ago, Calderis said:

A figure vastly over rated, 

By its fans, the Shard is inundated, 

"I am a stick," 

"I am a stick," 

I wish it was incinerated. 

I don't think I've heard my feelings towards the stick expressed so clearly and poetically before. Put this in the Coppermind!

[Calderis he/him]

There's a trapper named Sixth of the Dusk, 

Whose Respect for The Father's a must, 

He must avoid death, 

With every breath, 

For Patji would leave him a husk.