Question 19

[Blackhoof]

Adelmo's social media campaign, it's working! Mwahahaha!

#bringbacktrackback2K25

edit: Speaking of Adelmo, I was wondering how I'm doing with him. Are you guys engaged by my writing? Is he a good character? Are there any glaring faults bothering you? Any and all input, positive or negative, is appreciated.

 

yeah like Elodin I find him very well written although I found his decision to bring back backtrack instead of killing him a bit hasty.

 

The trouble is I see him needing some conflict very soon, because Backtrack won't provide it on the return trip aha

So you'll need to work that out with the other players and such to create conflict for him.

[Master Elodin]

Backtrack might annoy him with descriptions of long-gone hamburger joints though. It takes less than that to kill a man.

[Edgedancer he/him]

I'll hide that leaving post if you want. In terms of what he would do, I'm thinking about having him allied with Stormeggedon.

Stormageddon is that only semi-canon Epic Warriormark16 has in some of backstory, isn't it.

On the topic of conflict for Aldemo, there's always the option of MV reacting rather violently to the whole gun to the head part of his greeting.

[Voidus]

Voidus is tired. 

I keep forgetting that having mod priveleges at work is not the same thing as having them on the 17th Shard, if I leave a snarky edit on something at work it's not going to be taken anywhere nearly as well as the amusing edit conversations I've had in the past.

[Blackhoof]

If Voidus is still on board with my proposal, MV isn't going to be entirely placid at the initial meeting (although I should mention that neither of the Epics saw Adelmo leveling the gun at Backtrack; their first contact was solely Adelmo's words to Backtrack at the end of my last post).

Oh, Kobold and I have lots of conflict planned, from miscellaneous adventures in Thoughttown to Backtrack reacting to a real-life dragon. Backtrack and co. won't be heading back to the Dalles anytime soon...

Adelmo's walk through RP history was quite fun, but it's come to an end, so there is conflict coming. All of it has been established through PM, but it's still hardly going to be an uneventful trip back to the Dalles, and I'm really looking forward to collaborating with Kobold and Voidus.

In regards to the decision to not kill Backtrack, I felt the hastiness a little bit as well. I tried to show an adequate thought process, but it's still a little clunky. Any suggestions?

Regardless, I'm still super pumped to finally connect my character's story to others', especially since those others are the characters of 2 of my favorite Oregoners.

 

Good to hear!

 

In terms of suggestions.... not really. I feel like spreading it out over a few posts so there was a bit of a build-up would be the best way to do it. I don't think it matters too much anyway.

[breakingamber he/him]

Would Adelmo walking up to four Epics be such a great idea?

[Citadel16 he/him]

Stormageddon is that only semi-canon Epic Warriormark16 has in some of backstory, isn't it.

yes... yes she is.

 

we will likely do some sort of collaboration when she is mentioned. I'll send him the power portfolio.

[Blackhoof]

Would Adelmo walking up to four Epics be such a great idea?

 

potentially- it isn't the safest thing to do

 

although i think its just MV and Backtrack now. Adelmo probably knows both of their powersets and is confident of his chances.

[Edgedancer he/him]

In regards to the decision to not kill Backtrack, I felt the hastiness a little bit as well. I tried to show an adequate thought process, but it's still a little clunky. Any suggestions?

To be fair, killing Backtrack right now would be terribly stupid, given that it will amlost certainly end in the gunshots alarm nearby Epics, whus killing him and providing Lightwards with a corpse that can tell him even more. Not that making the connection between a dead Backtrack and the place he was send to investigate would be very hard. Honestly, what Aldemo needs isn't avoiding Backtrack telling Lightwards about the Dalles but specifically telling him that there's nothing of interest for him there.

 

Voidus is tired. 

I keep forgetting that having mod priveleges at work is not the same thing as having them on the 17th Shard, if I leave a snarky edit on something at work it's not going to be taken anywhere nearly as well as the amusing edit conversations I've had in the past.

So you haven't spiked your "boss" yet to take over the company?

 

yes... yes she is.

 

we will likely do some sort of collaboration when she is mentioned. I'll send him the power portfolio.

Frankly, given that this is the point where she crosses from an backstory element to something that actually matters and spreads across multiple locations, I think you own all of us more of a gameplan for that character.

Edited April 21, 2016 by Edgedancer

[Kobold King he/him]

Not that making the connection between a dead Backtrack and the place he was send to investigate would be very hard.

 

 

I don't think it would be that easy without dead!Adelmo's testimony. Assuming right off the bat that Backtrack was stalked by a commando from The Dalles all the way back to Portland and killed just when he got back to the MoNA would be kind of weird. If I were Lightwards I'd be more inclined to guess one of the other Epics still in the Museum, none of which he knows well or trusts, was the one to kill him over some grievance.

 

Until interrogating the dead Adelmo, of course.

[Edgedancer he/him]

I don't think it would be that easy without dead!Adelmo's testimony. Assuming right off the bat that Backtrack was stalked by a commando from The Dalles all the way back to Portland and killed just when he got back to the MoNA would be kind of weird. If I were Lightwards I'd be more inclined to guess one of the other Epics still in the Museum, none of which he knows well or trusts, was the one to kill him over some grievance.

 

Until interrogating the dead Adelmo, of course.

It may not be the first thought immediately but if he thinks of it a month or even a year later down the line then that's still too early for the Dalles to handle. Combine that with Lightwards having acces to a rather precise lie dector (assuming he's willing to trust someone under Nighthound's wing for that) and him needing to send another scout to make up for the information lost with Backtrack (Neverthere being the prime canidate here) and killing Backtrack still doesn't solve the problem as much as it postpones it.

[Mckeedee123 he/him]

edit: Speaking of Adelmo, I was wondering how I'm doing with him. Are you guys engaged by my writing? Is he a good character? Are there any glaring faults bothering you? Any and all input, positive or negative, is appreciated.

 

The writing has been fine. Since you really seem to be fishing for honest feedback, though, I'll tell you that the name sort of bugs me. I'm not sure why, but most of the vanilla names that we come up with never seem exactly right to me, especially Epics' real names. Maybe they're just too arbitrary. "Adelmo," anyway, is a bit unwieldy.

 

Keep it, change it, it doesn't matter to me. My new crack theory on this phenomenon is that in the RP, most of our names really mean something. You can get a lot of information from "Arsenal", "Backtrack", and "Nighthound". "Mason", "Max", or "Jack" feel as if they just got slapped on after someone looked up "random name generator" online. Perhaps when we make vanillas from now on, we should focus on unusual-ish names that communicate something about the person, like "Hope", or "Summer".

[Citadel16 he/him]

 

 

Frankly, given that this is the point where she crosses from an backstory element to something that actually matters and spreads across multiple locations, I think you own all of us more of a gameplan for that character.

 

well, she will never really appear in the RP, but here it goes.

 

stormeggedon is largely unknown, except in some circles, (Ragnarok is really her only recruiter) though she has a small following of both minor and major epics. she will be the motivation for some other characters I might use for other RPs. she has a long range mental influence perk that allows her to supplement thoughts to her minions.

 

powers

warriormark16, on 18 Feb 2016 - 10:20 AM, said:

 me: are there rules against mind control epics?

 

 

Quote

twi: Mind control within the Reckonersverse is very limited, according to Brandon: The way he put it, their powers are more subtle (like making you think you want a sandwich and leaving your post instead of just forcing you to leave your post). 

 

its more like powerful hypnotic suggestion from a long range.

 

it sort of makes some of her lieutenants a bit obsessive. (Ragnarok has a strong enough willpower to ignore it)

 

limitation: she can only "control" seven people with this method, and touch is required to establish contact.

 

perk 2: she has hyper intelligence allowing her to plot and do other stuff that's super smart.

 

perk 3: she can create instantaneous "conference rooms" in her lieutenants (like ragnaroks) minds allowing them to communicate at extreme distances over short periods of time

 

like in this scene:

 

 

His mind fuzzed in and out.

                ‘Now?’ he thought. ‘Great.’

                His mind fuzzed again and the world around him disappeared. Replaced by blackness. A Notworld. A place of nothingness.

                YOU HAVE FAILED ME.

                “The fault is not my own,” Ragnarok said “Brute simply was not interested.”

                DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR EXCUSES, BOY!

                Ragnarok flinched inwardly. He very seldom let someone call him a child, but Stormeggedon could do as she pleased.

                And there was nothing Ragnarok could do about it.

                “Yes, my master,” he said as strongly as he could.

                The blackness shifted. Pooling together, becoming a figure in black. A dress of shadows adorning her. It was hard to say anything of her features, because her face and arms were merely visible as darker shadows and lighter shadows.

                THERE IS ANOTHER WHOM I HAVE BEEN WATCHING. HE IS NEAR TO YOU. YOU MUST RECRUIT HIM. FORCIBLY IF YOU MUST.

                “I do as commanded, great one,” he said.

                GOOD. THIS IS HE.

                An image flashed in Ragnarok’s mind. A tall man, a scowl on his face, dressed in a red and black shirt, jeans, and a pea coat that was open down the front.

                MAKE HASTE, SERVANT. AND TREAD CAREFULLY, HE IS NOT ONE WHO IS GENTLE WITH HIS ENEMIES.

                “It will be done.”

                The Notworld vanished, and he was placed back over the water, with Brute still struggling underneath. Ragnarok shook his head.

perk 4: she can "jolt" peoples minds via contact with her lieutenants. This causes a sort of bridge between her mind, the mind of her lieutenant and the mind of the victim. allowing a large flow of information to stun the victim. she doesn't often use it because she doesn't process external information very well and it causes her and her lieutenants pain.

 

no PIs

no Travel powers

 

mission: she wants to kill any epic who isn't under her command and dominate the world. (dun dun duuuunnn!)

 

I am thinking of writing a war story between her and the ones who used to rule Arsington, the town that she is based in.

 

Arsington

I have changed Arsington a lot recently making it so an Epic whose name I need to come up with makes the city disappear for five days and appear for one day.

 

the city is entirely made of Carbon

 

the city was only made recently (three years ago) by a transmutation epic named Architect who could make earth move however he wanted it. he is dead.

the city was ruled by an epic named Darksun and policed by an epic named Citadel. Darksun is moving to salem and Citadel protects a small town a few miles from Astoria (where Brute was from)

 

Ragnarok was from arsington.

 

Edited April 21, 2016 by WarriorMark16

[Kobold King he/him]

well, she will never really appear in the RP, but here it goes.

 

stormeggedon is largely unknown, except in some circles, (Ragnarok is really her only recruiter) though she has a small following of both minor and major epics. she will be the motivation for some other characters I might use for other RPs. she has a long range mental influence perk that allows her to supplement thoughts to her minions.

 

powers

warriormark16, on 18 Feb 2016 - 10:20 AM, said:

 

 

Quote

its more like powerful hypnotic suggestion from a long range.

 

it sort of makes some of her lieutenants a bit obsessive. (Ragnarok has a strong enough willpower to ignore it)

 

limitation: she can only "control" seven people with this method, and touch is required to establish contact.

 

perk 2: she has hyper intelligence allowing her to plot and do other stuff that's super smart.

 

perk 3: she can create instantaneous "conference rooms" in her lieutenants (like ragnaroks) minds allowing them to communicate at extreme distances over short periods of time

 

like in this scene:

 

 

His mind fuzzed in and out.

                ‘Now?’ he thought. ‘Great.’

                His mind fuzzed again and the world around him disappeared. Replaced by blackness. A Notworld. A place of nothingness.

                YOU HAVE FAILED ME.

                “The fault is not my own,” Ragnarok said “Brute simply was not interested.”

                DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR EXCUSES, BOY!

                Ragnarok flinched inwardly. He very seldom let someone call him a child, but Stormeggedon could do as she pleased.

                And there was nothing Ragnarok could do about it.

                “Yes, my master,” he said as strongly as he could.

                The blackness shifted. Pooling together, becoming a figure in black. A dress of shadows adorning her. It was hard to say anything of her features, because her face and arms were merely visible as darker shadows and lighter shadows.

                THERE IS ANOTHER WHOM I HAVE BEEN WATCHING. HE IS NEAR TO YOU. YOU MUST RECRUIT HIM. FORCIBLY IF YOU MUST.

                “I do as commanded, great one,” he said.

                GOOD. THIS IS HE.

                An image flashed in Ragnarok’s mind. A tall man, a scowl on his face, dressed in a red and black shirt, jeans, and a pea coat that was open down the front.

                MAKE HASTE, SERVANT. AND TREAD CAREFULLY, HE IS NOT ONE WHO IS GENTLE WITH HIS ENEMIES.

                “It will be done.”

                The Notworld vanished, and he was placed back over the water, with Brute still struggling underneath. Ragnarok shook his head.

perk 4: she can "jolt" peoples minds via contact with her lieutenants. This causes a sort of bridge between her mind, the mind of her lieutenant and the mind of the victim. allowing a large flow of information to stun the victim. she doesn't often use it because she doesn't process external information very well and it causes her and her lieutenants pain.

 

no PIs

no Travel powers

 

mission: she wants to kill any epic who isn't under her command and dominate the world. (dun dun duuuunnn!)

 

 

I'm... a little hesitant about an Epic with the power to be "super smart."

[Mckeedee123 he/him]

"Adelmo" means "noble protector", something that I think is meaningful for the character. I I feel the unwieldiness too, but I'm not sure what a good, meaningful alternative is, and really I don't know where to find one. Do you have any ideas for other names?

 

 

It's a struggle we all face. "Noble protector", huh? That's interesting. Maybe we could try something mythological. Along the lines of "Mars" or "Artemis" or... or maybe biblical. "Samson" or... "Ephraim". "Hunter"? Huh. It seems as if it's a lot easier to come up with female names that have a connotation than male. That's odd. Of course, there's always just the option of leaving it as is.

[Citadel16 he/him]

I'm... a little hesitant about an Epic with the power to be "super smart."

she's smart. like Taravangian. she knows a lot and can guess the future a bit, but has a massive blind spot towards how people will react. This is complimented by the fact that she doesn't know this.

[Edgedancer he/him]

well, she will never really appear in the RP, but here it goes.

 

stormeggedon is largely unknown, except in some circles, (Ragnarok is really her only recruiter) though she has a small following of both minor and major epics. she will be the motivation for some other characters I might use for other RPs. she has a long range mental influence perk that allows her to supplement thoughts to her minions.

 

powers

warriormark16, on 18 Feb 2016 - 10:20 AM, said:

 

 

Quote

its more like powerful hypnotic suggestion from a long range.

 

it sort of makes some of her lieutenants a bit obsessive. (Ragnarok has a strong enough willpower to ignore it)

 

limitation: she can only "control" seven people with this method, and touch is required to establish contact.

 

perk 2: she has hyper intelligence allowing her to plot and do other stuff that's super smart.

 

perk 3: she can create instantaneous "conference rooms" in her lieutenants (like ragnaroks) minds allowing them to communicate at extreme distances over short periods of time

 

like in this scene:

 

 

His mind fuzzed in and out.

                ‘Now?’ he thought. ‘Great.’

                His mind fuzzed again and the world around him disappeared. Replaced by blackness. A Notworld. A place of nothingness.

                YOU HAVE FAILED ME.

                “The fault is not my own,” Ragnarok said “Brute simply was not interested.”

                DO NOT GIVE ME YOUR EXCUSES, BOY!

                Ragnarok flinched inwardly. He very seldom let someone call him a child, but Stormeggedon could do as she pleased.

                And there was nothing Ragnarok could do about it.

                “Yes, my master,” he said as strongly as he could.

                The blackness shifted. Pooling together, becoming a figure in black. A dress of shadows adorning her. It was hard to say anything of her features, because her face and arms were merely visible as darker shadows and lighter shadows.

                THERE IS ANOTHER WHOM I HAVE BEEN WATCHING. HE IS NEAR TO YOU. YOU MUST RECRUIT HIM. FORCIBLY IF YOU MUST.

                “I do as commanded, great one,” he said.

                GOOD. THIS IS HE.

                An image flashed in Ragnarok’s mind. A tall man, a scowl on his face, dressed in a red and black shirt, jeans, and a pea coat that was open down the front.

                MAKE HASTE, SERVANT. AND TREAD CAREFULLY, HE IS NOT ONE WHO IS GENTLE WITH HIS ENEMIES.

                “It will be done.”

                The Notworld vanished, and he was placed back over the water, with Brute still struggling underneath. Ragnarok shook his head.

perk 4: she can "jolt" peoples minds via contact with her lieutenants. This causes a sort of bridge between her mind, the mind of her lieutenant and the mind of the victim. allowing a large flow of information to stun the victim. she doesn't often use it because she doesn't process external information very well and it causes her and her lieutenants pain.

 

no PIs

no Travel powers

 

mission: she wants to kill any epic who isn't under her command and dominate the world. (dun dun duuuunnn!)

 

I am thinking of writing a war story between her and the ones who used to rule Arsington, the town that she is based in.

 

Arsington

I have changed Arsington a lot recently making it so an Epic whose name I need to come up with makes the city disappear for five days and appear for one day.

 

the city is entirely made of Carbon

 

the city was only made recently (three years ago) by a transmutation epic named Architect who could make earth move however he wanted it. he is dead.

the city was ruled by an epic named Darksun and policed by an epic named Citadel. Darksun is moving to salem and Citadel protects a small town a few miles from Astoria (where Brute was from)

 

Ragnarok was from arsington.

 

You know, just copypasting an old vague description kind of misses the point of what why I asked. Her having one recruiter running around that just so happens to be in Oregon is something i can let slide by but once another Epic in another place that also is in oregon gets involved there needs to be some more concrete reasoning.

 

I'm... a little hesitant about an Epic with the power to be "super smart."

Then there's that. Doesn't help that the last time you had an character with even a similair power I had to talk you out off having him act like an utter idiot.

 

It's a struggle we all face. "Noble protector", huh? That's interesting. Maybe we could try something mythological. Along the lines of "Mars" or "Artemis" or... or maybe biblical. "Samson" or... "Ephraim". "Hunter"? Huh. It seems as if it's a lot easier to come up with female names that have a connotation than male. That's odd. Of course, there's always just the option of leaving it as is.

So what's actually the point of this, thinking that ordinary people being named an ordinary way at birth need names just as flashy and meaningful as Epic names or that you don't like the way a name sounds because it comes from another culture and has other linguistic properties than you are used to? Because neither of those things sound like they'd be worth going out of one's way to fix.

[Citadel16 he/him]

Then there's that. Doesn't help that the last time you had an character with even a similair power I had to talk you out off having him act like an utter idiot.

 that wasn't how his powers worked, doesn't count. when antimatter gets angry he uses his powers to get what he wants. he's still an epic and an arrogant chull of one at that. If I made it so he didn't get angry and act on that anger then I would probably be breaking the laws of canon.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 that wasn't how his powers worked, doesn't count. when antimatter gets angry he uses his powers to get what he wants. he's still an epic and an arrogant chull of one at that. If I made it so he didn't get angry and act on that anger then I would probably be breaking the laws of canon.

 

If his anger is the only excuse for making a character with superhuman intelligence act like an idiot, then it definitely counts. 

[Mckeedee123 he/him]

So what's actually the point of this, thinking that ordinary people being named an ordinary way at birth need names just as flashy and meaningful as Epic names or that you don't like the way a name sounds because it comes from another culture and has other linguistic properties than you are used to? Because neither of those things sound like they'd be worth going out of one's way to fix.

 

He asked for honest feedback. I'm trying to give it, especially since I actually wish that I could get honest feedback on most of my posts. Believe me, I understand what you're saying, and I'm not trying to coerce Cog into doing anything.

[Citadel16 he/him]

If his anger is the only excuse for making a character with superhuman intelligence act like an idiot, then it definitely counts. 

more his arrogance. Just think: you are an epic with enough strength to destroy a small town in a matter of hours. no one can kill you. no one has ever really managed to stop you. you lived your life playing by your own rules, killing those who bothered you too much. you think you know everything because you quite nearly do. then some wannabe genie comes and smashes your head against a table.

 

that's not idiocy.

that's perspective.

[Edgedancer he/him]

 that wasn't how his powers worked, doesn't count. when antimatter gets angry he uses his powers to get what he wants. he's still an epic and an arrogant chull of one at that. If I made it so he didn't get angry and act on that anger then I would probably be breaking the laws of canon.

I'm sorry but your "explanation" of his power is thusly.

 

ertiary power: super indexed IQ

"If Einsteins IQ was in the stratosphere, Antimatter's was somewhere on the far edge of the moon."

if you consider this all that difference from "super intelligence" please go ahead and explain the differences, I'd be thrilled to get detailed explanations on the canon bit, remember how every single Epic wants to kill Steelheart for proclaming himself God and calling all the others of the small? ...no? Probably because even Epics with normal mental faculties are smart enough to not get themselves killed and Deathgale has close ties to exactly two Epics that could get by his PI with relative ease and get him in an permanent coma, effectively killing him.

 

Doesn't mean that it's necessarily bad writing, if the character would act that way. It just means I don't necessarily trust you with terms like "intelligence."

 

He asked for honest feedback. I'm trying to give it, especially since I actually wish that I could get honest feedback on most of my posts. Believe me, I understand what you're saying, and I'm not trying to coerce Cog into doing anything.

Fair enough.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

more his arrogance. Just think: you are an epic with enough strength to destroy a small town in a matter of hours. no one can kill you. no one has ever really managed to stop you. you lived your life playing by your own rules, killing those who bothered you too much. you think you know everything because you quite nearly do. then some wannabe genie comes and smashes your head against a table.

 

that's not idiocy.

that's perspective.

 

But, smart people—humanly smart people, not superhumanly smart people—know that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. If destroying an entire city would help them meet their goals, yes, they'd do it. However, if destroying an entire city would bring the wrath of that city's rulers down on them, leading to imprisonment or—more likely—death, they wouldn't do it. They're smart enough to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, to quote an old song. If the consequences of destroying a city would outweigh the benefits, smart people would avoid that action and choose a different course.

 

And we're not even talking about superhuman intelligence here. We're talking about ordinary human intelligence that exists in our world today. If you make that character a genius beyond human comprehension, his plan for that city would have to be simple, elegant, and above all else, subtle.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

And I appreciate it. I want to do the best I can for this storybuilding endeavor, and honest feedback is instrumental to making a good, believable character who fits into the RP. It might not be as fun to read, but I'm just as grateful for constructive criticism and suggestions as I am for compliments.

I do think I'm keeping Adelmo's name, though. I like the meaning, it fits his background, and despite the slight unwieldiness, I generally like it.

But I'm still always very happy to hear what you guys have to say.

 

I was going to suggest a nickname. A nice shortened version of his name—Adel. 

 

 

I decided to ban myself from nickname duty.  

[Citadel16 he/him]

But, smart people—humanly smart people, not superhumanly smart people—know that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. If destroying an entire city would help them meet their goals, yes, they'd do it. However, if destroying an entire city would bring the wrath of that city's rulers down on them, leading to imprisonment or—more likely—death, they wouldn't do it. They're smart enough to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, to quote an old song. If the consequences of destroying a city would outweigh the benefits, smart people would avoid that action and choose a different course.

 

And we're not even talking about superhuman intelligence here. We're talking about ordinary human intelligence that exists in our world today. If you make that character a genius beyond human comprehension, his plan for that city would have to be simple, elegant, and above all else, subtle.

that's wisdom. I think any way.

I'm sorry but your "explanation" of his power is thusly.

if you consider this all that difference from "super intelligence" please go ahead and explain the differences, I'd be thrilled to get detailed explanations on the canon bit, remember how every single Epic wants to kill Steelheart for proclaming himself God and calling all the others of the small? ...no? Probably because even Epics with normal mental faculties are smart enough to not get themselves killed and Deathgale has close ties to exactly two Epics that could get by his PI with relative ease and get him in an permanent coma, effectively killing him.

 

Doesn't mean that it's necessarily bad writing, if the character would act that way. It just means I don't necessarily trust you with terms like "intelligence."

 

im sorry, but I couldn't resist...

 

 

Edit: I didn't mean to press send. sorry I will answer questions shortly...

Edited April 21, 2016 by WarriorMark16