I wrote a thing

[Mistrunner]

So I was flipping through some notebooks and found this thing I wrote a while ago. I kinda like it, but don't really have many ideas as to where it could go. Help.

Here's the thing!

Somehow, things always seem to end with me in a small, white room wearing a straitjacket.

Padded walls. Padded floor. Well, at least insanity is comfortable. I resolve once more to kill Robin when I see him next. The things I have to go through for that man...

But for now I can only lie here. Straitjackets are not easy to get out of. Besides, I'd rather be in here than out with that madman. I need a bodyguard, he said. It pays well, he said. Well, it pays well in bruises and many, many psychiatric examinations.

Finally, I hear a scrape from above, and a panel falls out of the ceiling. Robin drops down from the hole. "What's my time?"

"I'd guess about two hours but I wouldn't know because they took my watch," I growl.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't love this! We're confusing lawmen all over town!"

"If I wasn't wearing this straitjacket I'd strangle you," I mutter. He flashes that infuriatingly gleeful grin again and turned to climb the rope.

It wasn't there. Robin had forgotten the rope. Again.

"Uh." For once, the much-famed and very eccentric lunatic thief looked at a loss for words. Then he brightened.

"We'll go through a window!"

"There are no windows, Robin."

"I never said there were."

I really need a new job.

Thoughts? Ideas?

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

Awesome! A bit weird, but awesome!

[Zathoth]

"Look in my left back pocket"
Robin pulls out a window out of the left back pocket, puts it on the wall and they open it to climb out towards freedom.

 

Or something along those lines.

[Stormgate he/him]

I'm not sure whether or not the characters are insane or not. I think they are, but I'm unclear.

[Khyrindor he/him]

I love it 

[kaellok he/him]

No clue, but I feel that you need to incorporate the "the door is a jar" pun.  

 

"Go get me that jar, so that I can fill it with this random liquid."

"There's no jar here."

"Of course there is.  The door is a jar."

So I go and grab the door and bring the jar back to him.

He flashes a smile.  "Excellent! I knew you could do it." 

 

Or you could flip it around where she's being the punny one, telling him to grab the jar, and so he picks up the door and brings over a jar.  Which might work better.  (And I just realized I don't know if protag is male/female, and just assumed female for some reason.  I think because it reminds me slightly of Bad Monkeys, which has female protag and written in first person/present unreliable narrator slightly wacky very crazy mostly awesome reference point and boy gee golly this sentence got away from me and so I'm going to end it right....now.)

 

Or perhaps you are a heathen and hate puns!  

 

But I like it so far.

[Robinski he/him]

My first thought: "My name is Robin, should I be worried?"

 

My second thought. It's fun and light and intriguing. Slap a title on it and submit it as flash fiction.

 

My third thought. I think you've got two decent characters that seem to have a conflict / relationship, and a hint of a setting with the germ of a story - plot the thing out and write a trilogy.

[Stormgate he/him]

A trilogy might be a bit much... Maybe a novel if you do it right.

[Mistrunner]

Thanks for all the feedback and I'm so sorry this is so late!

I love it

Awesome! A bit weird, but awesome!

Thanks!

"Look in my left back pocket"

Robin pulls out a window out of the left back pocket, puts it on the wall and they open it to climb out towards freedom.

Or something along those lines.

I'm not sure Robin is quite that magical.

I'm not sure whether or not the characters are insane or not. I think they are, but I'm unclear.

They are most definitely insane. The ways in which they are insane, however, are rather different.

No clue, but I feel that you need to incorporate the "the door is a jar" pun.

"Go get me that jar, so that I can fill it with this random liquid."

"There's no jar here."

"Of course there is. The door is a jar."

So I go and grab the door and bring the jar back to him.

He flashes a smile. "Excellent! I knew you could do it."

Or you could flip it around where she's being the punny one, telling him to grab the jar, and so he picks up the door and brings over a jar. Which might work better. (And I just realized I don't know if protag is male/female, and just assumed female for some reason. I think because it reminds me slightly of Bad Monkeys, which has female protag and written in first person/present unreliable narrator slightly wacky very crazy mostly awesome reference point and boy gee golly this sentence got away from me and so I'm going to end it right....now.)

Or perhaps you are a heathen and hate puns!

But I like it so far.

Puns! Why did I not think of adding puns? This idea, it is genius.

I'm not actually sure or the narrator's gender either, though I've also started thinking she's a woman.

My first thought: "My name is Robin, should I be worried?"

My second thought. It's fun and light and intriguing. Slap a title on it and submit it as flash fiction.

My third thought. I think you've got two decent characters that seem to have a conflict / relationship, and a hint of a setting with the germ of a story - plot the thing out and write a trilogy.

Thanks! I think I will be writing more of this- of course, that's if I can think if a suitable plot to go on.

[CarolaDavar she/her]

So I was flipping through some notebooks and found this thing I wrote a while ago. I kinda like it, but don't really have many ideas as to where it could go. Help.

Here's the thing!

Somehow, things always seem to end with me in a small, white room wearing a straitjacket.

Padded walls. Padded floor. Well, at least insanity is comfortable. I resolve once more to kill Robin when I see him next. The things I have to go through for that man...

But for now I can only lie here. Straitjackets are not easy to get out of. Besides, I'd rather be in here than out with that madman. I need a bodyguard, he said. It pays well, he said. Well, it pays well in bruises and many, many psychiatric examinations.

Finally, I hear a scrape from above, and a panel falls out of the ceiling. Robin drops down from the hole. "What's my time?"

"I'd guess about two hours but I wouldn't know because they took my watch," I growl.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't love this! We're confusing lawmen all over town!"

"If I wasn't wearing this straitjacket I'd strangle you," I mutter. He flashes that infuriatingly gleeful grin again and turned to climb the rope.

It wasn't there. Robin had forgotten the rope. Again.

"Uh." For once, the much-famed and very eccentric lunatic thief looked at a loss for words. Then he brightened.

"We'll go through a window!"

"There are no windows, Robin."

"I never said there were."

I really need a new job.

Thoughts? Ideas?

Mistrunner, might i just say that you are a genius?

[Mistrunner]

Mistrunner, might i just say that you are a genius?

Aw, thanks!