TheShogun he/him Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) at killing Chasmfiends Edited January 21, 2014 by TheShogun
Awesomeness Summoned he/him Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) One time, when a Mistborn was going to a Dragonwasp Legion meeting, he saw a grey Shardbearer in a dark alley, brutally slitting open a gigantic watermelon with a rusty Sliver of Honor. So, of course, the Mistborn burned the watermelon, lighting the Shardbearer's cape on fire, blue flames concealing it from his view. . The Shardbearer turns into a duck, ripping open the cosmere, and seeing a locked door emitting dark shine and Stormlight. The Shardbearer ran to get his Blade, tripping over duck beaks that littered the ground, breaking his neck. . The Mistborn howled at a monkey's attacks on his Mistcloak. Thrashing and struggling, he broke free, hitting the door with a llama and a koloss head, breaking it into splintery bits. The door floated down the river and ended in a black shardpool. . Meanwhile, the Shardbearer thrashed on the floor and died. . A shadowy figure hopped out of the Cognitive Realm and into the river. The Shadowy figure glowed with dark light and quietly said, "Where is Hoid?" . The Mistborn answered, "Where isn't he?" . At the same time, the Cognitive Realm was torn asunder by a massive Voidbringer. It killed many sprens that tried to intervene. . His metals spent, and his Stormlight stolen by a small green larkin, the shadowy figure, named "DARKNESS" the Evil Librarian, began building an altar out of cheese! This brilliant choice made many Epics weep with tears From the smell of their weakness. . Ookla the Mok rebuilt the door with the most evil thing possible in the Cosmere. The opposing force was a rhino cross-bred with Hoid an 16 different aspects of Odium as well as 14 of Ruin. . Unfortunately, a Shade flew in right in the middle of the giant altar, crushing the brilliant and wet kandra cheese container which exploded, spraying lemonade all over his tattered remains - hitting the large hippopotamus that was really just begging to become a Knight Radiant that bonds with Deathspren - and kills a poor, innocent chull. He [the Shade] launched it into the sky, where it grew three heads without even considering that the Heralds were notoriously unimpressed with him. Jezrien yelled, "How dare you throw a chull, you skunk eater!" At that moment, Kaladin threw his chull-sized suit, and despite the fact that Amaram already had his head shaved, Kal recognized him. He signaled to Lopen to eviscerate Amaram. Unfortunately, that was the Horneater's plan, before he became a Knight Radiant. . "I'm so confused," Amaram said, scratching the behind of his Chull. "I wanted him to narftle the Garthok!" he said, collapsing on the roof of Kredik Shaw. A nearby inquisitor - spiked with bananas - made drinks for the dinner party, who were confused about why Kelsier was late for everything. They jumped into bizarro Shadesmare. Unfortunately, bizarro Jasnah was merrily playing with a bead. . The bead was the cognitive aspect of Shai's stamp, made to reopen the dor to the Dor. Suddenly, the Dor burst through the stamp. Then the Dor opened a door. It was the invincible door that the Dor dared to defy by skipping and singing about the Dor by the Doors. So many doors flew in out of the doors that the Dor and all the doors passed by the holy tiger eating a door that had belonged to the owner of Hoid's flute. The tiger arose, spit the door with it's tail that it had stolen from an obnoxious spren named kanskjakalan that the ring had decided was too green. Because of this, he tried to form a bond with an orange tooth in the holy part of the tigers' tail, thus balancing out the tiger's tale. The circle was broken by Honor and Odium when Cultivation and Endowment went through their letter to Devotion for an appointment with the holder of Dominion and Ruin and Preservation so they could eat berries together. Hoid heard about the shard's party and brought along his latest girlfriend. A worldhopper named Pizza. The romance was quite cheesy but also spicy, especially since Pizza cast chilly flakes in a beer, which was laced with the unknown Shard of Bavadin that poisons anyone who tries to drink less than Pizza. Dinner was free if you cast chilli Pizza into oblivion, without belching. Drinking from the unknown Shardpool which looked quite infested with rabbits which were Mistborn, with sharp pointy hat, elderly chap sticks filled with the ultimate marmalade, and flossy was caught off guard. Suddenly a chasmfiend appeared; but, unlike normal greatshells, this one spoke Alethi which was perfectly cerulean in colour. "Hello good sir!" It said friendily. "I am the spirit guide who eats shin brains!" All the while it's monocle was magnificently magnifying his honorspren. It was magnificently magnified and named Lys. The magnifiantly magnifisent honorspren magnificently sighed; "Derek won't be joining our tea party." Pizza was disappointed; tea parties were better than Radiants at killing chasmfiends and like all... Of Hoid's girlfriends Edited January 21, 2014 by Awesomeness summoned 2
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