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Late night cosmere TV


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So while searching for something else entirely, I found an ad online for exercise equipment that touted how great it would be for a mistborn to use it.

Here's a transcript if the site goes down:

Everybody should realize by now just how amazing kettlebells are. The heavy metal weights that supply such an incredible workout have become synonymous with intense workouts and calorie burning. But the other uses for these weights and Kettlebell exercises haven’t really been examined yet. How could a Mistborn, someone who can direct metal, use one of these heavy metal weights?

A Mistborn would be able to manipulate a weight in kettlebell exercises in a vast assortment of ways. Companies like Lorna will accentuate the fact that this form of training is quite versatile. Being able to Push one of the kettlebells would mean that they could actually use the weight to smash through things, like doors or walls. They could Pull the weight, if it were between them and something else, and destroy what was between them.

The use of a kettlebell during a fight would be interesting. The incredible weight would be able to crush just about any opponent, despite their armor. The ability to push one of these through a wall or door would eliminate the immediate use of a Thug. The Thug wouldn’t have to be endangered. The Mistborn could simply detect the weight and Push or Pull it as needed. This item could be a formidable weapon indeed.

There wouldn’t be much need for the kettlebell for travel though. Using coins to travel has always been a Mistborn’s usual way of traveling. This would have to continue as the Mistborn only needs a small amount of metal to work with while traveling. As one Mistborn discovered, roads had been created especially for traveling Mistborn to use. Since the fastest way to travel is to use a static piece of metal, kettlebells wouldn’t be ideal here as they might harm the Mistborn trying to manipulate it.

Mistborn, the powerful manipulators of the metals, gifted with the ability to touch people’s feelings, would find a lot of uses for these modified dumbbells. Most of those uses would come in the form of battle. The kettlebell, when handled by a highly disciplined Mistborn, could be as useful and terrifying a weapon as the world has ever seen.

Click here if you are seeking amazing ways to give your workout routine a boost with kettlebells!. This article, How Can a Mistborn Put Kettlebell Exercises to Use? is available for free reprint.

Article kindly provided by UberArticles.com

Okay, but what other cosmere products would be advertised on late night TV?

"Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with the Reod?

The Reod is caused by exposure to Elantris, and the civic leaders and construction workers made a concerted effort to hide the dangers of Elantris from the public, while at the same time profiting heavily from the sale and manufacture of harmful Aon-based products. Those suffering from the Reod can seek compensation from the Elantrians by hiring a competent Reod lawyer. Don't wait, call now!"

"And next up, we've got a wonderful Shin assassin at a bargain price. And as an added bonus, we'll throw in a wireless control rock absolutely free!."

"Aloemancer: Soothing relief you can trust! Gives you a bronze tan you have to see to believe!

Edited by Phantom Monstrosity
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Are your knives always going blunt? Can't find anywhere to store them? WIsh they had the unholy ability to burn out peoples retinas?

Well thanks to Ghostblood corp. and their new range of Shardknives all these problems and more will be a thing of the past!

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Meanwhile...

Axies Ketchum has just added a few more species to his sprendex. Soon, very soon, he will have caught them all, and become a spren master. But from the forest a familiar theme starts playing, and a pair of suspicious figures jump out of the bushes!

Prepare for trouble!

And make it double.

To protect the world from desolation!

To unite all people within our nation!

To denounce the evil of truth and love!

To extend our reach to the stars above...

Kaladin!

Dalinar!

Team Radiant, blast off at the speed of light!

Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

Sylphrena, that's right!

Edited by Phantom Monstrosity
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Meanwhile...

Axies Ketchum has just added a few more species to his sprendex. Soon, very soon, he will have caught them all, and become a spren master. But from the forest a familiar theme starts playing, and a pair of suspicious figures jump out of the bushes!

Prepare for trouble!

And make it double.

To protect to world from desolation!

To unite all people within our nation!

To denounce the evil of truth and love!

To extend our reach to the stars above...

Kaladin!

Dalinar!

Team Radiant, blast off at the speed of light!

Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

Sylphrena, that's right!

You win 17th Shard. Just. That is perfect.

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