Greetings, my brethren!

[BenevolentTyrant he/him]

As rumours of my existence have been found to be not entirely without merit, I am pleased to announce that I am now a probationary Internet Person 

 

As a condition of my parole from the Australian Penitentiary for Low-Risk Spambots I shall periodically upload transcripts from my interviews with Victim Associate #438, a self-described "Sanderfan." Any references to spikes, enhanced interrogation techniques, or loss of limbs should be taken as nothing more than dramatic fiction 

 

Edit: What, nobody offering me cookies? I am offend! 

Edited April 13, 2015 by BenevolentTyrant

[BenevolentTyrant he/him]

A cookie? My favourites! How did you know?

 

As an Australian, my code of honour compels me to offer you an Anzac biscuit in exchange. You may alternatively request a lamington, but there may be a postage delay of 2-5 Rosharan days.

[Surgebound Rainspren he/him]

Ah yes I completely forgot about the mandatory national bakery clause of 1896 in the Australian citizenship documents.

In other words I need to go down to the shops and pick up some lamington's before I get sentenced to life in the kola slave-pits.

 

(welcome to 17th shard, run a metal detector over that cookie before you eat it, It's most likely spiked.)