Renegade he/him Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 So, Instabam. Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes? And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities. I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power. Don't believe me? Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes... 11
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 25, 2015 Posted January 25, 2015 So, Instabam. Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes? And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities. I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power. Don't believe me? Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes... Why? Why did Instabam not conquer the world? He clearly could have, so why didn't he? 4
Mckeedee123 he/him Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 Wish we knew more about Instabam... Like, can he telekinetically control instant potatoes? Can he make instant potatoes explode? Can he summon a massive wave of instant potatoes? So vague... I bet his weakness was eating real mashed potatoes. 3
Cheese United he/him Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 If his weakness was mashed potatoes, what sort of experience would cause that to be his most feared thing? "No! I don"'t want the potatoes! YOU'RE GONNNA EAT THESE POTATERS IF IT BE TAKEN LAS THING YALL EVER DO! 6
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 If his weakness was mashed potatoes, what sort of experience would cause that to be his most feared thing? "No! I don"'t want the potatoes! YOU'RE GONNNA EAT THESE POTATERS IF IT BE TAKEN LAS THING YALL EVER DO! "When I was a boy, back in New York City, my mother always told me that if I ate a potato, I would be a potato. So in my household, it was all instant potatoes, all the time. Seriously, we, like, never ate anything else. Just instant potatoes. Then one fateful day, one of the neighborhood vandals threw a real potato at my head! It hit me like—BAM! And let me tell you, I was so scared I would turn into a potato that I went into the pantry and I ate every box of instant potatoes I could see." 10
Cheese United he/him Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 "When I was a boy, back in New York City, my mother always told me that if I ate a potato, I would be a potato. So in my household, it was all instant potatoes, all the time. Seriously, we, like, never ate anything else. Just instant potatoes. Then one fateful day, one of the neighborhood vandals threw a real potato at my head! It hit me like—BAM! And let me tell you, I was so scared I would turn into a potato that I went into the pantry and I ate every box of instant potatoes I could see."Oh that's just genius. 2
Edgedancer he/him Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 So, Instabam. Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes? And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities. I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power. Don't believe me? Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes... So David´s line doesn´t make sense afterall. Clearly Instabam can create a minefield made out of potatoes. 5
natc Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 So if we take his organs we can create a potato mine machine? 5
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 So if we take his organs we can create a potato mine machine? ....and this wasn't Regalia's master plan because....? 8
Edgedancer he/him Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 ....and this wasn't Regalia's master plan because....? Because a minefield made out of potatoes is awesome and letting someone die through it wouldn´t be evil enough for her. 4
Fifth of Daybreak he/him Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I think we can figure out exactly what happened at Prof's school. Instabam was there, but didn't know he was an epic yet. That's when some unfortunate wretch started a food fight... 5
Patrick Star Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 You guys are wrong. You see, Instabam's potatoes explode in a NUCLEAR FUSION REACTION. That's the key. Fallout's Instamash potatoes aren't a coincidence... 4
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 You guys are wrong. You see, Instabam's potatoes explode in a NUCLEAR FUSION REACTION. That's the key. Fallout's Instamash potatoes aren't a coincidence... And I just finished reading a webcomic where someone says "Potatoes can't do ANYTHING." How very wrong he was. 4
natc Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 That comic character hasn't tried using those things as batteries. And probably never met an Epic. 3
Darkness he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Speaking as seriously as I can about this particular topic, I imagine it would be moderately devastating to suddenly have your entire trachea filled with mashed potatoes. To put it another way, Instabam is not small potatoes. Ooo, see what I did there? 5
vineyarddawg Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Potato batteries can indeed be used for many purposes. Keeping a psychopathic artificial intelligence alive but partially disabled, for one. 7
Fifth of Daybreak he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Potato batteries can indeed be used for many purposes. Keeping a psychopathic artificial intelligence alive but partially disabled, for one. GLaDOS and Instabam, arch enemies, or unstoppable diabolical team? 1
Kobold King he/him Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 GLaDOS and Instabam, arch enemies, or unstoppable diabolical team? "I have your test results, Steelslayer. They say that you were raised in Newcago, that you're an orphan, and that you're a horrible person. Really, it actually says 'You're a horrible person.' And we weren't even testing for that." 8
mail-mi he/him Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 "I have your test results, Steelslayer. They say that you were raised in Newcago, that you're an orphan, and that you're a horrible person. Really, it actually says 'You're a horrible person.' And we weren't even testing for that." "Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you, Steelslayer. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now." 5
mail-mi he/him Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 "Even though you missed my metaphor, the test results say that yours are 100% worse than mine. And I wasn't even trying." "Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead, you know, after you MURDERED me. Okay, look, we've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret, but I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." GLaDOS is now officially a science-obsessed resurrection Epic. 3
mail-mi he/him Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Oh. David=Chell and Wheatley= if Prof was a moron. Think about it. O.o o.O O.O It makes too much sense.
Fallen Rope he/him Posted December 1, 2015 Posted December 1, 2015 In this universe CurveBall would have the power to shot portals from a handgun.
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