Trans Hangout Thread

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Heh.. just had a dysphoric experience in public..

But ima do smth fun instead.. so yah..

sigh

first time for everything ig

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

Heh.. just had a dysphoric experience in public..

But ima do smth fun instead.. so yah..

sigh

first time for everything ig

did you see what I wrote?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 hours ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I think it’s up to you. You wouldn’t be a fool, you would have just done what was best for yourself at the time. It’s up to you, though I personally see you as a girl and hope you’re okay with yourself that way. 
(i should spend less time on the shard as well)

thx..

2 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

The label transgender does not define who you are, but rather you fit the definition; you are independent of the label transgender and should thus treat it as such

but i don't wanna be a male and stuff

maybe I didn't understand what u said 

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

but i don't wanna be a male and stuff

maybe I didn't understand what u said 

you can be yourself

And if who you are is a person who likes to present feminine, to use she/her pronouns, then so be it! That's still you! 

What if you're not trans? What if you are? Does anything actually change, does what you like, does who you are actually change? I would say that it doesn't. 

You don't have to be transgender to justify being yourself. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

you can be yourself

And if who you are is a person who likes to present feminine, to use she/her pronouns, then so be it! That's still you! 

What if you're not trans? What if you are? Does anything actually change, does what you like, does who you are actually change? I would say that it doesn't. 

You don't have to be transgender to justify being yourself. 

i do to get hrt

but i definitely see what ur sayin

but like for public spaces they care

i have to be obviously a woman sometimes

but yes

yes i see whta u mean thanks

[Aeoryi she/her]

4 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i do to get hrt

but i definitely see what ur sayin

but like for public spaces they care

i have to be obviously a woman sometimes

but yes

yes i see whta u mean thanks

Also Lily can I ask you something 

How did you get your family to use your preferred name and pronouns

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

8 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Also Lily can I ask you something 

How did you get your family to use your preferred name and pronouns

well for the supportive ones i kinda just came out to them and asked and they... well most.. just started using them and try their best and stuff. it was kinda awkward but still u know that's life

for... the possibilly unsupportive ones.. idk. i still did that but they haven't used the new name/pronouns yet. so idk.

so i kinda just asked them to

 

for some i did it after coming out

for others dueing xoming out

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

well for the supportive ones i kinda just came out to them and asked and they... well most.. just started using them and try their best and stuff. it was kinda awkward but still u know that's life

for... the possibilly unsupportive ones.. idk. i still did that but they haven't used the new name/pronouns yet. so idk.

so i kinda just asked them to

 

for some i did it after coming out

for others dueing xoming out

I'm trying to get my family to do it but I just can't bring myself to do it... I'm too weak, it turns out

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

 

but anyway im warching a movie with a fren now :3

Just now, Aeoryi said:

I'm trying to get my family to do it but I just can't bring myself to do it... I'm too weak, it turns out

u should try

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

 

but anyway im warching a movie with a fren now :3

u should try

what was it like?

[Verdance he/him]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

you can be yourself

And if who you are is a person who likes to present feminine, to use she/her pronouns, then so be it! That's still you! 

What if you're not trans? What if you are? Does anything actually change, does what you like, does who you are actually change? I would say that it doesn't. 

You don't have to be transgender to justify being yourself. 

I agree with this. What is most important is if you feel comfortable with yourself. 

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

thx..

but i don't wanna be a male and stuff

maybe I didn't understand what u said 

well, that makes it simple enough. If you don’t want to be male, you don’t have to be. Im not sure how you could both not want to be male and also doubt having dysphoria… but I think it’s really important to your overall health that you feel comfortable with who you are, and I would support that. 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

Today I discovered the term alexigender, which I think I might be. It's basically genderfluid and confused.

(More descriptively, it's when you're gender shifts but you're not certain what it is specifically at any given point, although you can often tell if it's more masc/fem/enby)

So that was a cool thing that happened!

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

18 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

what was it like?

Well sometimes it kinda like came up in conversation and then I said told the person my new name. It was a little awkward as I said but maybe not always in a bad way. Idk what else to say.

16 hours ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I agree with this. What is most important is if you feel comfortable with yourself. 

well, that makes it simple enough. If you don’t want to be male, you don’t have to be. Im not sure how you could both not want to be male and also doubt having dysphoria… but I think it’s really important to your overall health that you feel comfortable with who you are, and I would support that. 

Yeah.. I think I go through phases where when I'm doubting I'm like "do I even have dysphoria?" And then later I get either clear dysphoria or less-clear but still dysphoria.

1 minute ago, Through the Living Ink said:

Today I discovered the term alexigender, which I think I might be. It's basically genderfluid and confused.

(More descriptively, it's when you're gender shifts but you're not certain what it is specifically at any given point, although you can often tell if it's more masc/fem/enby)

So that was a cool thing that happened!

That's neat! I'm glad you're figuring stuff out and stuff. Like figuring yourself out more. Sometimes it can really help to find these more focused and less general terms that describe us better. For instance, "trans" vs. "trans woman" is kinda large-scale, but still narrows down and can describe someone better. Yeah. Idk if that's the best example but anyway, I'm happy for you!

 

--

For dysphoria, can it simply be this.. feeling that's just present. A feeling you can't identify the source for, but gives you a general and inescapable feeling of unease, discomfort, maybe even dread. Also not an intense or.. "sharp".. feeling, but a spread-out one? Hopefully I'm explaining it good.. but it's kinda like I just feel uneasy and I don't know why. It's not like I'm specifically thinking "I hate my body, I want a different one, but I'm uncomfortable because I'm stuck with this one for now." It doesn't mean that's not true.., it's just not--at least on the surface--what's causing the unease.

It could also not be dysphoria, but idk. It just makes it kinda hard to do some stuff. Like there's just this lingering thing in the background that makes it more difficult to.. enjoy some stuff of focus on them or have motivation/energy to do something, or be fully immersed/present.

Is this dysphoria? Is that even a question you can answer?

It's.. a feeling of wrongness (and I know that's kinda generic but it's true) that I don't know the cause of.

Or I'm just making all this up and I'm just anxious or depressed or some random other cause or fabrication. Except it kinda came.. idk if out of nowhere, but like I was kinda thinking about.. certain dysphoric things.. and stuff. Yeah idk. Anwyay..

[Verdance he/him]

43 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Well sometimes it kinda like came up in conversation and then I said told the person my new name. It was a little awkward as I said but maybe not always in a bad way. Idk what else to say.

Yeah.. I think I go through phases where when I'm doubting I'm like "do I even have dysphoria?" And then later I get either clear dysphoria or less-clear but still dysphoria.

That's neat! I'm glad you're figuring stuff out and stuff. Like figuring yourself out more. Sometimes it can really help to find these more focused and less general terms that describe us better. For instance, "trans" vs. "trans woman" is kinda large-scale, but still narrows down and can describe someone better. Yeah. Idk if that's the best example but anyway, I'm happy for you!

 

--

For dysphoria, can it simply be this.. feeling that's just present. A feeling you can't identify the source for, but gives you a general and inescapable feeling of unease, discomfort, maybe even dread. Also not an intense or.. "sharp".. feeling, but a spread-out one? Hopefully I'm explaining it good.. but it's kinda like I just feel uneasy and I don't know why. It's not like I'm specifically thinking "I hate my body, I want a different one, but I'm uncomfortable because I'm stuck with this one for now." It doesn't mean that's not true.., it's just not--at least on the surface--what's causing the unease.

It could also not be dysphoria, but idk. It just makes it kinda hard to do some stuff. Like there's just this lingering thing in the background that makes it more difficult to.. enjoy some stuff of focus on them or have motivation/energy to do something, or be fully immersed/present.

Is this dysphoria? Is that even a question you can answer?

It's.. a feeling of wrongness (and I know that's kinda generic but it's true) that I don't know the cause of.

Or I'm just making all this up and I'm just anxious or depressed or some random other cause or fabrication. Except it kinda came.. idk if out of nowhere, but like I was kinda thinking about.. certain dysphoric things.. and stuff. Yeah idk. Anwyay..

I have a hard time reconciling dysphoria as something that you can’t find the cause of, especially because as a Christian, I would define that feeling (which is my every waking moment) as being a human born under the curse of sin or an awareness of fault in myself. It’s mainly the feeling that I deserve hell, for me. I’m struggling to understand- if as a trans person, you have dysphoria, doesn’t that inherently mean the cause is related to your body in some way?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

15 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

I have a hard time reconciling dysphoria as something that you can’t find the cause of, especially because as a Christian, I would define that feeling (which is my every waking moment) as being a human born under the curse of sin or an awareness of fault in myself. It’s mainly the feeling that I deserve hell, for me. I’m struggling to understand- if as a trans person, you have dysphoria, doesn’t that inherently mean the cause is related to your body in some way?

I mean I'm not saying there isn't a cause for this feeling that is possibly dysphoria, I'm just saying I'm not necessarily conscious of it.

Like, if it's dysphoria then ofc it's gonna be deep-down because of my body/incorrect hormones.

But doesn't mean I'll be aware of that.

 

Also.. you don't deserve hell. You're not a terrible person. And even if you aren't, like, super kind or whatever, who is? We all make mistakes or do things wrong or aren't nice to people, but that doesn't (always) mean we are pieces of crem. I say always because there are ... bad people out there ... but I don't believe you're one of them. Also, even if you are not the best, you clearly want to better yourself, right? So.. stop thinking of yourself as bad, pls. If u can.

 

Edit: also, try the song "Lagtrain" by INABAKUMORI. It's a vocaloid song and in Japanese, but it's rlly good, at least imo. There's also an English cover by Will Stetson.

EDIT2: Tho I'll warn you, you may find the lyrics depressing if you listen in English/read them.

Edited March 28 by Usseewa

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

I mean I'm not saying there isn't a cause for this feeling that is possibly dysphoria, I'm just saying I'm not necessarily conscious of it.

Like, if it's dysphoria then ofc it's gonna be deep-down because of my body/incorrect hormones.

But doesn't mean I'll be aware of that.

 

Also.. you don't deserve hell. You're not a terrible person. And even if you aren't, like, super kind or whatever, who is? We all make mistakes or do things wrong or aren't nice to people, but that doesn't (always) mean we are pieces of crem. I say always because there are ... bad people out there ... but I don't believe you're one of them. Also, even if you are not the best, you clearly want to better yourself, right? So.. stop thinking of yourself as bad, pls. If u can.

 

Edit: also, try the song "Lagtrain" by INABAKUMORI. It's a vocaloid song and in Japanese, but it's rlly good, at least imo. There's also an English cover by Will Stetson.

Okay, thanks. That makes sense. 

Uh, idk if you want to get into theology here, but i believe that everyone, as soon as they are old enough to make conscious decisions and understand morality, is immediately condemned to hell. I don’t believe by earthly standards that I am an incredibly terrible person, i do have my flaws but i wouldn’t consider myself evil, but I have intentionally sinned against god and would suffer the punishment for that if not for grace.

will do!

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

5 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Okay, thanks. That makes sense. 

Uh, idk if you want to get into theology here, but i believe that everyone, as soon as they are old enough to make conscious decisions and understand morality, is immediately condemned to hell. I don’t believe by earthly standards that I am an incredibly terrible person, i do have my flaws but i wouldn’t consider myself evil, but I have intentionally sinned against god and would suffer the punishment for that if not for grace.

will do!

See my edit about the Lagtrain lyrics!

 

Pretty major spoilers for The Good Place (a TV show)

Spoiler

So if you don't know this show, basically it's about these people who die and are sent to the afterlife, and they think they are in the "good place" (basically heaven), but later find out they were actually in the "bad place" (basically hell). They also realize that... it's incredibly hard to actually make it into the real good place. Like.. this one guy spends his entire life trying to do good things whenever he can, and he doesn't even make it in. It was kinda sad. But anyway, basically I thought of this when you said you believe that everyone is condemned to hell. But if so, that shouldn't be something to beat yourself up over, right? You also shouldn't just be resigned or anything, like you can still try to be happy in your life.

Idk

 

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

See my edit about the Lagtrain lyrics!

 

Pretty major spoilers for The Good Place (a TV show)

  Hide contents

So if you don't know this show, basically it's about these people who die and are sent to the afterlife, and they think they are in the "good place" (basically heaven), but later find out they were actually in the "bad place" (basically hell). They also realize that... it's incredibly hard to actually make it into the real good place. Like.. this one guy spends his entire life trying to do good things whenever he can, and he doesn't even make it in. It was kinda sad. But anyway, basically I thought of this when you said you believe that everyone is condemned to hell. But if so, that shouldn't be something to beat yourself up over, right? You also shouldn't just be resigned or anything, like you can still try to be happy in your life.

Idk

 

Oh, yeah, I don’t beat myself up over it. For such a bleak sentence, I think there’s quite a bit of solace- no one can save themself. Luckily, I don’t have to try to be a good person, I have the grace of God. It would be even more bleak if I had to earn it, because I can’t. There’s a lot of hoy and freedom for me in that thought, and it motivates me to be a better person.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Oh, yeah, I don’t beat myself up over it. For such a bleak sentence, I think there’s quite a bit of solace- no one can save themself. Luckily, I don’t have to try to be a good person, I have the grace of God. It would be even more bleak if I had to earn it, because I can’t. There’s a lot of hoy and freedom for me in that thought, and it motivates me to be a better person.

Ok, cool. I guess that's a good thing...? Idk.

Anyway gotta go for a bit, cya sometime in the future.

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

Ok, cool. I guess that's a good thing...? Idk.

Anyway gotta go for a bit, cya sometime in the future.

Cya! Ill pray the dysphoria stops dysphoring!

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 hours ago, Usseewa said:

this dysphoria? Is that even a question you can answer?

does it matter?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

does it matter?

Idk, maybe it doesn't.

I just wanna know what this is/why.

Plus, if it is dysphoria I can use it as proof to the Drs that I need/can have HRT.

 

And if(/when) I get HRT, then I can feel better..

 

Oh and speaking of HRT, I scheduled the appointment for in a few weeks or so, cuz I talked to them and I think I'm set on the 6 months, since I've basically had dysphoria for years lol even if I didn't know it was dysphoria. Plus I also was questioning if I was gay a year ago... so that might be more "proof" or whatever.

Sigh.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

Idk, maybe it doesn't.

I just wanna know what this is/why.

Plus, if it is dysphoria I can use it as proof to the Drs that I need/can have HRT.

 

And if(/when) I get HRT, then I can feel better..

 

Oh and speaking of HRT, I scheduled the appointment for in a few weeks or so, cuz I talked to them and I think I'm set on the 6 months, since I've basically had dysphoria for years lol even if I didn't know it was dysphoria. Plus I also was questioning if I was gay a year ago... so that might be more "proof" or whatever.

Sigh.

I suppose that's true

You won't be able to tell for sure unless someone diagnosed you ... sounds like you won't struggle farther with it

Spoiler

wig arrived today

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

49 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I suppose that's true

You won't be able to tell for sure unless someone diagnosed you ... sounds like you won't struggle farther with it

  Reveal hidden contents

wig arrived today

 

huh?

 

Spoiler

nice!

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

7 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

huh?

 

  Reveal hidden contents

nice!

 

Spoiler

thank you! I haven't tried it yet...