Mental health club!

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

8 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

it so pretty

it has such a good combo of colors

my fav color is purple, so that enhances it for me even more.

it issssssss 

and it doessssssss  

ayyy sameeeeeee

[MirkerLurker she/her]

Droppin' in belatedly, as usual, here is MirkerLurker with various thoughts.

 

On 6/29/2025 at 8:04 PM, Mag said:

idk what to do 

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recently my parents have been really pushing for me to get my patriarchal blessing, because they think I need it, and I've agreed because I can't say no to them. But that specific thing has been a source of really strong anxiety for me, I worry about what will be in it, how I'll react to it, etc. I know it's meant to be a good thing but it terrifies me irrationally. I haven't really told my parents this because I know how they'll react--My mom will just say that it's the devil making me feel that way and I need to ignore it.

This is really scary to admit but I have been having some doubts about my church lately. I'm trying so, so hard to stick with it and to see the good in it, to do the things you're supposed to do when you feel yourself slipping. I started reading my scriptures again and I pray all the time. I'm trying really hard to accept the church's explanation for the things that bother me and see it in a good light. But it's so, so hard, and some things just seem off to me and I don't know what to do about that. It doesn't help that my parents are a little odd, or maybe more traditional. I love them more then anything, which makes it all the more painful when they are generally the main source of how intensely unwell I feel.

Yesterday I tried to tell my mom about my anxiety because it had been really bad the night before (and I know that if I don't ever tell them, I won't ever get help). She did her usual speech about how it's just the devil, and I need to ignore it. That hurt so bad. It's not like she doesn't care, she genuinely things that this will help me. But every time I tell her about my symptoms of mental illness, she finds some other thing to blame it on. It's my period. It's the fact that I haven't been sleeping well. I need to take more vitamins. This has been going on for years! I know the only way for things to ever change is for me to communicate with them but it feels impossible, and I almost always come away feeling worse and more stuck.

I have an equally hard time talking to my dad, despite how much I love him. I can't really put why into words as well though. I hate to say this so much, and I hope he never knows, but some tiny part of me deep deep is really afraid of him. He has certain extreme opinions that scare me, and the way he argues has solidified the fact that I will never tell him my opinion differs. Last night due to an unrelated event my mom ended up telling me that she has always wondered if he has borderline symptoms of Bipolar which . . . yeah that would explain a good deal. 

I was able to convince my mom to set up a doctor's appointment this week, which is good. I'm hoping that maybe the doctor can help show her that I can't just will it away, or that it's not just a lifestyle thing.I don't know what I expect the doctor to do, I just need progress in something . I just need a label for why I'm going crazy so maybe my mom will treat it like an actual problem and not just my 'tender-hearted nature.'

Anyway, today I was super tired at church from not sleeping at night, and at the start of the second hour my mom told me that she was hoping I could  ask the bishop about starting the process for my patriarchal blessing. It caught me super off guard, and I was already not feeling well so I had an anxiety attack. Luckily my mom understood I couldn't talk to him today, and she was super sympathetic. But now that means she's going to ask me to talk to him next week and it's scaring me so bad.

I've been anxious about this for well over a year, and I've mean telling my parents that I just didn't feel ready for it, which is why I was delaying. This is of course true. I don't feel ready, if I'm going to get it then I should be ready to hear what the Lord has to say, and ready to accept his plan for me. I shouldn't be feeling more then anything like I just want it over with. And yet, that's all I can think right now. That is to say--It's really hard for me to tell my parents that I can't do my patriarchal blessing right now because I'm too anxious because I've already been putting it off, and I know my mom at least will just chalk it up to the devil trying to stop me. 

I wouldn't actually mind the concept of the devil being behind bad things like this, as he is kind of abstract in the way we interpret his influence. But it feels very unfair that my mental illness symptoms ('from the devil) just need to be willed past and ignored, but whenever a family member of mine has a major health issue ('from the devil') they should seek medical help like normal. 

Anyway, I just feel super overwhelmed. All of the different conflicts in my heart are sort of coming to a head with this, and I don't know what to do. I've felt like I'm being torn apart when it comes to how I see the world and how I feel about certain things, but now I'm having to genuinely face that and it's so painful. I love my parents and I know half the battle is getting the courage to tell them about what's happening but that's so hard. It feels like all the small things they've said and forgotten about over the years that were more or less traumatic for me come to tell my way it's not 'safe' for me to tell about how I feel.

This is just scratching the surface. I haven't confronted the suspected autism in awhile, nor have I told my parents about it. It hasn't been the worst issue going on so it's been shoved to the back burner, but I still feel the effects and symptoms every day. I'm also desperately trying not to think about the fact that the past few months I've started to realize I might be queer. That's something I could never talk to my parents about, and I might be content to ignore it if it didn't directly effect how I see my religion. I have been having minor suicidal thoughts over all of this (non-genuine ones, certainly) and I know that's an issue too. Life is so exhausting, the world is ending, and apparently it only gets worse. I just desperately wish I could get a hug from someone without worrying about how they'd negatively react to my deep held fears and secrets. Why does everything have to be so unclear and scary? It amazes me how easy things used to be--I'd take the anxiety I had freshmen year over anything I'm going through right now.

Anyway that's my confession. I've been bottling this up for months because I have no one to talk to about it, and I apologize for dumping it all on you, especially after disappearing. I just have nowhere else to talk where I've felt safe to be candid about this stuff. I did text one of my friends about it earlier today, though I only had the courage for a much simpler version. She said she was happy to talk about anything and that I could come over if I needed, which is so kind, and I'm going to try and take her up on it if I need it. 

Sorry I haven't been around here much, it's been hard to feel like typing when it seems like doom is impending. Most of my time has been spent doing things to cope with how awful I feel, and it's grown less effective over time which is frustrating.

I really love you guys and I appreciate your support. Just knowing there's a community here where I can be open and honest about what I'm going through has meant a lot. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have anywhere to talk about this. Probably something unwise.

Thanks for reading, typing it all out has made me feel a bit better. I'm going to try and stop crying now because my head really hurts lol

First off: I'm really glad you got a dr appointment scheduled. 

Secondly, I am religious (tho not LDS), and have also had doubts about my faith, and have advice. Find someone in your religion, someone more mature and experienced in their faith than you are, who you can talk to about doubts - who you can ask questions, be listened to, and have your questions treated seriously and answered seriously. (Whether the answer is clear or not; sometimes it's about working through confusing information, not about seeing obvious clear answers.) Asking questions about your faith is HEALTHY. Finding those answers - actually learning and working through them, not being told "just trust it" - strengthens your faith and grows your confidence and self-image. 
And I know saying "Find someone you can safely ask potentially volatile questions to" is not easily done. But it's SO WORTH IT. It sounds like your parents are not those people for you. I don't know the other adults in your church, so I don't know who to recommend - your bishop maybe?? - but I will point out that a great way to start the conversation, and get your parents to be ok with you having conversations like this, is telling them you want to prepare for your patriarchal blessing by talking about it with some of the adults in the church. And then do that - pick a couple of people you think might be good people to talk to, and start with the subject of the blessing and your uncertainties there, and see if you can go from there into more general doubts and confusion.
It is normal to find that the worldview you were raised with is conflicting with what you start to believe as you grow into an adult. Part of adulthood is learning to work through and reconcile those clashes. And I strongly suggest getting advice on how to do that, from people you consider wise.

Additional note: Seeing a counselor may also be a helpful thing for you, sorting through mental health issues. However, counselors are not a good place to ask about religious doubts; they are required to be neutral on the issue, regardless of what they personally believe. Which is good - it's important that they provide a space safe for anyone to receive counseling. But even if the dr appointment results in you getting counseling - which I hope you at least get the option! - you should still also seek out faith advice from someone else.

Finally, *HUG*
That's rough. 

 

On 7/1/2025 at 10:55 AM, WhyEverNot_8 said:

,_, 

Summer sucks so much 

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my relationship is on the verge of ending because I’m an idiot and can’t figure out how to fix my problems (of which there are a multitude.)

I make empty apologies and can’t keep promises. I try to fix that and I try to keep my promises but it’s just… not working. I’m so forgetful that I don’t even remember the promises I’ve made to myself. Summer is supposed to be fun but in recent years it’s just started to suck. 

On a more happy note, I discovered a new music group (The Vanished People!) and their songs actually really help. I’ve never really experienced this before, but one of their songs kinda matches what I’m going through right now and it’s… relieving?? (It’s called Castaway, it’s their No. 1 on Spotify and in their School Trip album. It has the f-word twice but nothing else) 

I haven’t seriously considered doing anything irreparable, don’t worry. But for some reason my mind has been jumping to scenarios where I’m… y’know.

(TW: Death) v

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I’ll be walking down the stairs and my brain airdrops me an image of me on the floor, skull cracked. I’ll be walking down the sidewalk and it goes: “CAR! SQUISH!!” and i see my corpse and it just sucks.

TW OVER

Another thing is that I always apologize for venting because I always feel that my mental problems are less than others. And I know that this is specifically for that, and that y’all always say that it’s alright and that i’m important too, but that’s not going to change anytime soon, so…

I’m sorry for venting. 

  Hide contents

I don’t think it’s from any kind of trauma, so y’all don’t have to worry about that.

*hug*

You can always vent here. I know you know that, but I'll reassure it anyway. Also, I feel you on "feeling that my mental problems are less than others". Yyyep. On that note: it doesn't matter if it's minor or major: if it needs talking about, it needs talking about. It doesn't help any of us to compare who has it "worse"; instead, we can help each other regardless of how bad any individual has it. When we share it, it all lessens.
A small injury that only needs 3 stitches isn't "as bad" as a big one that needs 20 stitches; but that doesn't mean the small one didn't need treatment. Or that it would be fine if ignored. 

Isn't it awesome when you find music that matches and it actually makes it better?! It's so weird, but it works. Like...I'm not alone. Someone else gets it. It's not just in my head, because it's out there too. And sometimes they phrase it better than I ever could, and that helps too. "Oh. That. That's how to describe it."

Unasked-for suggestion on forgetting, ignore if you want: Do you have a phone or digital device that you can set reminders on? I would not function without my phone yelling at me about things. Seriously - I once missed three dr appointments in two weeks, because I couldn't remember them. (First the regular one, then the rescheduled one, then the rescheduling of the rescheduled one. The office was...rather upset with me.) Phone calendar notifications mostly solved that. And note-taking - write down the things you're supposed to do later in a note app, and add a time reminder to read the list again.

Also: consider talking to a dr - memory issues are a common side effect of depression and some other mental health things. Addressing the root cause may help as well.

[Denissimo He/him]

Thanatophobic Nihilist here.
I hate confiding in people 'cuz doesn't usually go well but, uhm, I am kinda on my last legs here. Also this is pretty much completely anonymous and no one knows me irl here soooo I'm good.
So... crippling fear of death. 
DONT want hugs. I am a pessimist and a realist by nature, and it doesn't solve the problem.
And also I consider my fear completely logical... but i hate it too.

No "Live this life to your best" and blahblahblah, I would like the problem directly addressed.

Edited July 3, 2025 by Denisimo

[MirkerLurker she/her]

5 hours ago, Denisimo said:

Thanatophobic Nihilist here.
I hate confiding in people 'cuz doesn't usually go well but, uhm, I am kinda on my last legs here. Also this is pretty much completely anonymous and no one knows me irl here soooo I'm good.
So... crippling fear of death. 
DONT want hugs. I am a pessimist and a realist by nature, and it doesn't solve the problem.
And also I consider my fear completely logical... but i hate it too.

No "Live this life to your best" and blahblahblah, I would like the problem directly addressed.

First preface: I am not a professional counselor. None of my responses are trained researched positions.
Second, that sounds like something you should ask a trained counselor about. Find someone who uses an approach to counseling that suits your personality - you're not looking for gentle support, you're looking for direct "let's pull this apart and fix it" from the sound of your post. (I don't remember the names of the various types of therapy...Taln might, he might be able to recommend a specific style to look for. All I can remember is cognitive behavioral therapy, and I don't think that's what you want.) 
If your insurance needs a 'diagnosis' to approve counseling, get a regular dr appointment and ask about a referral for anxiety. If you have a crippling fear - something that is interfering with daily life activities, on a regular or semi-regular basis - then you can use that label. 

Ok, that's out of the way. Now to personal response.

Why is that fear logical?
What is it about death that scares you?

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

12 hours ago, MirkerLurker said:

Droppin' in belatedly, as usual, here is MirkerLurker with various thoughts.

 

First off: I'm really glad you got a dr appointment scheduled. 

Secondly, I am religious (tho not LDS), and have also had doubts about my faith, and have advice. Find someone in your religion, someone more mature and experienced in their faith than you are, who you can talk to about doubts - who you can ask questions, be listened to, and have your questions treated seriously and answered seriously. (Whether the answer is clear or not; sometimes it's about working through confusing information, not about seeing obvious clear answers.) Asking questions about your faith is HEALTHY. Finding those answers - actually learning and working through them, not being told "just trust it" - strengthens your faith and grows your confidence and self-image. 
And I know saying "Find someone you can safely ask potentially volatile questions to" is not easily done. But it's SO WORTH IT. It sounds like your parents are not those people for you. I don't know the other adults in your church, so I don't know who to recommend - your bishop maybe?? - but I will point out that a great way to start the conversation, and get your parents to be ok with you having conversations like this, is telling them you want to prepare for your patriarchal blessing by talking about it with some of the adults in the church. And then do that - pick a couple of people you think might be good people to talk to, and start with the subject of the blessing and your uncertainties there, and see if you can go from there into more general doubts and confusion.
It is normal to find that the worldview you were raised with is conflicting with what you start to believe as you grow into an adult. Part of adulthood is learning to work through and reconcile those clashes. And I strongly suggest getting advice on how to do that, from people you consider wise.

Additional note: Seeing a counselor may also be a helpful thing for you, sorting through mental health issues. However, counselors are not a good place to ask about religious doubts; they are required to be neutral on the issue, regardless of what they personally believe. Which is good - it's important that they provide a space safe for anyone to receive counseling. But even if the dr appointment results in you getting counseling - which I hope you at least get the option! - you should still also seek out faith advice from someone else.

Finally, *HUG*
That's rough. 

 

*hug*

You can always vent here. I know you know that, but I'll reassure it anyway. Also, I feel you on "feeling that my mental problems are less than others". Yyyep. On that note: it doesn't matter if it's minor or major: if it needs talking about, it needs talking about. It doesn't help any of us to compare who has it "worse"; instead, we can help each other regardless of how bad any individual has it. When we share it, it all lessens.
A small injury that only needs 3 stitches isn't "as bad" as a big one that needs 20 stitches; but that doesn't mean the small one didn't need treatment. Or that it would be fine if ignored. 

Isn't it awesome when you find music that matches and it actually makes it better?! It's so weird, but it works. Like...I'm not alone. Someone else gets it. It's not just in my head, because it's out there too. And sometimes they phrase it better than I ever could, and that helps too. "Oh. That. That's how to describe it."

Unasked-for suggestion on forgetting, ignore if you want: Do you have a phone or digital device that you can set reminders on? I would not function without my phone yelling at me about things. Seriously - I once missed three dr appointments in two weeks, because I couldn't remember them. (First the regular one, then the rescheduled one, then the rescheduling of the rescheduled one. The office was...rather upset with me.) Phone calendar notifications mostly solved that. And note-taking - write down the things you're supposed to do later in a note app, and add a time reminder to read the list again.

Also: consider talking to a dr - memory issues are a common side effect of depression and some other mental health things. Addressing the root cause may help as well.

my memory issues are likely from my ADHD, unless I somehow have lingering effects from the high-stress situations earlier in my life that may have causes depression(??). I’m not sure.  

I’ve tried to set reminders, and it works when I actually set them and pay attention, but honestly? I need reminders to set my reminders, and reminders to check my reminders. 

I’ll work on setting reminders, though. 

Spoiler

Also, I don’t want to use you guys too much, you’ve got your own lives, but can you guys help me find solutions to my other issues, too?

 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

13 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

my memory issues are likely from my ADHD, unless I somehow have lingering effects from the high-stress situations earlier in my life that may have causes depression(??). I’m not sure.  

I’ve tried to set reminders, and it works when I actually set them and pay attention, but honestly? I need reminders to set my reminders, and reminders to check my reminders. 

I’ll work on setting reminders, though. 

  Hide contents

Also, I don’t want to use you guys too much, you’ve got your own lives, but can you guys help me find solutions to my other issues, too?

 

Off we are always here and you never have to worry abt “using us” we choose to help and answer bc everyone’s issues are worth solving and worth our time

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

13 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

Also, I don’t want to use you guys too much, you’ve got your own lives, but can you guys help me find solutions to my other issues, too?

That's a big part of why this thread exists and why we're here

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

15 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

That's a big part of why this thread exists and why we're here

Yah

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

17 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

That's a big part of why this thread exists and why we're here

1 minute ago, Honors ghost said:

Yah

Thanks guys. 

Spoiler

I have a problem with carrying text conversations.
Like I’ll zone out or not know what to say and I’ll resist to preset responses (“lol”, “lmao”, “dang”, etc.) and it sucks for me, but it also annoys the crap out of other people (understandably). 

I constantly get distracted.
This is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, and if I did have depression earlier in my childhood and it carried over, this is the cause of it. (Distracted in school, teachers mad, kicked out of GT, etc. I’m mostly over it by now I think.) 

My sense of humor is so storming messed up.
I’ll say something that I think is harmless and funny and it’s actually just… kinda mean. I felt awful after I did it, and—even though it was an accident—I tried to force myself to stop making jokes around people (which worked.) 

I have an overwhelming lack of self-worth sometimes. 
I’ll just sometimes start feeling that I’m not worth people’s time or effort.

Spoiler

It’s occasionally accompanied by thoughts of what would happen if I were to disappear.  Don’t worry, I always recognize that it won’t change anything, and will actually make things worse. Also, I have too much stuff I want to do to give up anytime soon.

I don’t know why it happens, but it’s honestly screwing up my relationship. 

I don’t know how to fix most of these, and I really need help with it. 

I don’t know what to do, and I’d really appreciate any advice you can give

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

37 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

Thanks guys. 

  Hide contents

I have a problem with carrying text conversations.
Like I’ll zone out or not know what to say and I’ll resist to preset responses (“lol”, “lmao”, “dang”, etc.) and it sucks for me, but it also annoys the crap out of other people (understandably). 

I constantly get distracted.
This is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, and if I did have depression earlier in my childhood and it carried over, this is the cause of it. (Distracted in school, teachers mad, kicked out of GT, etc. I’m mostly over it by now I think.) 

My sense of humor is so storming messed up.
I’ll say something that I think is harmless and funny and it’s actually just… kinda mean. I felt awful after I did it, and—even though it was an accident—I tried to force myself to stop making jokes around people (which worked.) 

I have an overwhelming lack of self-worth sometimes. 
I’ll just sometimes start feeling that I’m not worth people’s time or effort.

  Hide contents

It’s occasionally accompanied by thoughts of what would happen if I were to disappear.  Don’t worry, I always recognize that it won’t change anything, and will actually make things worse. Also, I have too much stuff I want to do to give up anytime soon.

I don’t know why it happens, but it’s honestly screwing up my relationship. 

I don’t know how to fix most of these, and I really need help with it. 

I don’t know what to do, and I’d really appreciate any advice you can give

I don’t have much advice to give mostly bc I do all those things as well and I’m still trying to figure it out (especially the part abt jokes) but what I’ve done that has helped a little is when you start to feel like you don’t want to respond or whatever just find a natural stopping point in the convo and be like hey I can’t talk rn and that kind of stuff and if there are times where hole days are like that make sure you engage a little bit. *many hugs *

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

44 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

I have a problem with carrying text conversations.
Like I’ll zone out or not know what to say and I’ll resist to preset responses (“lol”, “lmao”, “dang”, etc.) and it sucks for me, but it also annoys the crap out of other people (understandably). 

I struggle a little with this too, and something I do that kinda helps (not sure if it'll help you or if this is viable) but I (have read receipts turned off) and leave texts until I'm in a mindset to focus on them. You can make whatever excuse you want to explain it, but that might help the zoning out—like when you notice yourself starting to zone out, leave the conversation if you can.

46 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

I constantly get distracted.
This is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, and if I did have depression earlier in my childhood and it carried over, this is the cause of it. (Distracted in school, teachers mad, kicked out of GT, etc. I’m mostly over it by now I think.) 

I don't have much more than theoretical ideas because I see squirrels all over the place but here are some ideas: if you're doing something you need to focus on, turn off/remove any distractions you can: set your phone to do not disturb, clear the space, etc. Also, if you catch yourself getting distracted, intentionally turn yourself back to the task, which can help your brain learn to focus more.

48 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

My sense of humor is so storming messed up.
I’ll say something that I think is harmless and funny and it’s actually just… kinda mean. I felt awful after I did it, and—even though it was an accident—I tried to force myself to stop making jokes around people (which worked.) 

Um yeah I don't have much help here, all the people I know have such different senses of humor that I just code-switch to match their humor. Sorry.

 

49 minutes ago, WhyEverNot_8 said:

I have an overwhelming lack of self-worth sometimes. 
I’ll just sometimes start feeling that I’m not worth people’s time or effort.

  Hide contents

It’s occasionally accompanied by thoughts of what would happen if I were to disappear.  Don’t worry, I always recognize that it won’t change anything, and will actually make things worse. Also, I have too much stuff I want to do to give up anytime soon.

I don’t know why it happens, but it’s honestly screwing up my relationship. 

Same. Something that helps me when I start feeling like that is to think of/be around the people I know for sure I've positively affected and to whom I can be certain I'm worth something to. (Kids are best, whether siblings or students—they're the most honest)

Uhh kinda hope that was helpful...but also Mirker will show up at some point with a lot better advice

[Through the Living Questio he/him]

24 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

I don’t have much advice to give mostly bc I do all those things as well and I’m still trying to figure it out (especially the part abt jokes) but what I’ve done that has helped a little is when you start to feel like you don’t want to respond or whatever just find a natural stopping point in the convo and be like hey I can’t talk rn and that kind of stuff and if there are times where hole days are like that make sure you engage a little bit. *many hugs *

*hugs*

 

10 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I struggle a little with this too, and something I do that kinda helps (not sure if it'll help you or if this is viable) but I (have read receipts turned off) and leave texts until I'm in a mindset to focus on them. You can make whatever excuse you want to explain it, but that might help the zoning out—like when you notice yourself starting to zone out, leave the conversation if you can.

I don't have much more than theoretical ideas because I see squirrels all over the place but here are some ideas: if you're doing something you need to focus on, turn off/remove any distractions you can: set your phone to do not disturb, clear the space, etc. Also, if you catch yourself getting distracted, intentionally turn yourself back to the task, which can help your brain learn to focus more.

Um yeah I don't have much help here, all the people I know have such different senses of humor that I just code-switch to match their humor. Sorry.

 

Same. Something that helps me when I start feeling like that is to think of/be around the people I know for sure I've positively affected and to whom I can be certain I'm worth something to. (Kids are best, whether siblings or students—they're the most honest)

Uhh kinda hope that was helpful...but also Mirker will show up at some point with a lot better advice

1. Mostly the problem is in conversations with my gf. And it’ll be conversations that I’m already engaging in, and my brain says “It’s been too long without you saying something, say something now.” 

2. Those are all things that I try to do. I find that music really helps me to focus, but I can’t always have music

3. I tend to do the same, but the problem I experience is when one person changes their sense of humor. (sometimes due to hormones, other times due to emotions, etc.)

4. I try, but I don’t really have a great relationship with my siblings. I know for sure that at least one of my two brothers cares about me a lot. (not saying the other one doesn’t, but he’s not always nice to me.) I think what’s helped the most is my dog. He’s a goober and I love him. And given how he reacts when I go to leave for school, i can make an educated assumption that he cares a lot about me. 

It helped, thank you

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Hello depression my old friend

I've been sent back to you again

Because my mind can't stand to be loved

And I can only see the bad

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

19 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Hello depression my old friend

I've been sent back to you again

Because my mind can't stand to be loved

And I can only see the bad

*hugs* we love you and it will be ok

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

50 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Hello depression my old friend

I've been sent back to you again

Because my mind can't stand to be loved

And I can only see the bad

*whispers*

I have an amazing item that will cure depression

*i take out a small box*

*i put my hand on your shoulder*

*i extend my other hand while moving across the starry sky*

It's called...

Reading Books

and i have a recomendation for you

*i open the small box*

*inside there is a note that says one thing*

ORV

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

5 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

*whispers*

I have an amazing item that will cure depression

*i take out a small box*

*i put my hand on your shoulder*

*i extend my other hand while moving across the starry sky*

It's called...

Reading Books

and i have a recomendation for you

*i open the small box*

*inside there is a note that says one thing*

ORV

ORV?

Unfortunately, reading books doesn't help so much, I just have to wait it out

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

6 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

ORV?

Unfortunately, reading books doesn't help so much, I just have to wait it out

click the link in my description

@ChipsAHoid back me up here.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

14 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

click the link in my description

@ChipsAHoid back me up here.

*me on mobile*

Edit: I think I found the one...I'll check it out later

Edited July 4, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

44 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*me on mobile*

Edit: I think I found the one...I'll check it out later

Its in my about me

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

15 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Its in my about me

Yeah I found it, I just had to go scrolling endlessly

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Can you find it in mobile?

 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

54 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Yeah I found it, I just had to go scrolling endlessly

=D

35 minutes ago, Honors ghost said:

Can you find it in mobile?

 

About me

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

26 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

=D

About me

Yah

[Denissimo He/him]

15 hours ago, MirkerLurker said:

First preface: I am not a professional counselor. None of my responses are trained researched positions.
Second, that sounds like something you should ask a trained counselor about. Find someone who uses an approach to counseling that suits your personality - you're not looking for gentle support, you're looking for direct "let's pull this apart and fix it" from the sound of your post. (I don't remember the names of the various types of therapy...Taln might, he might be able to recommend a specific style to look for. All I can remember is cognitive behavioral therapy, and I don't think that's what you want.) 
If your insurance needs a 'diagnosis' to approve counseling, get a regular dr appointment and ask about a referral for anxiety. If you have a crippling fear - something that is interfering with daily life activities, on a regular or semi-regular basis - then you can use that label. 

Ok, that's out of the way. Now to personal response.

Why is that fear logical?
What is it about death that scares you?

Ok, to reply your thing about counselling, let me say this about my family; My mother is trained in certain areas of child psychology, and qualified to diagnose certain conditions such as ADHD and Autism.
She believes that phobias are simply a part of life, and my Thanatophpbia is reltively normal. Now, I don't know enough about people in genera to know whether you are all existential thanatophbes, so i just take her word for it. 
So... she sees no point in sending me to counselling for thanatophobia.
Furthermore, it isn't outwarly affecting anything I suppose. I am personally a stoic or try to be one, and I see no reason to stoop otheers in my issues. The only reason why I am speaking to you all about ths is because I am under the presumption that your empathy does not reach a level to which you immediatly feel immense sorrow of my whingings from, in all likelyhood, the other damn side of the world.

I also personally see no point in councelling for this issue. I have been tested by psycologists and doctors and etc, and I was found to have a certain aptitude for a range of subjects and reasonings, one of which is philosphy and introspection. This in itself has sent me into a lot of downward spirals of crippling doubt but it never causes any real problems mostly.

Ok, to answer your direct questions: I believe that this fear is logical becaue fear is in itself a wish for selfpreservation. When you fear death, you try not to die. Thus, your brain inadvertantly keeps you alive while accidenally wrapping some people like me into an endless philsophical turmoil.

Death scares me one main way; I am not religious. I have no faith, and I mean that literally. I find it foolish (sorry, I might offend a few people here) that people can blindly believe in some magic hocus pocus force that will send them to a magically magical land of their damned dreams when they die. I know a LOT of religions and spent some time practicing as many as I could to try to find some sort of faith, but they all failed. Thus, my logical conclusion (and thus why I am a nihilist) is that once we die, the electrical signals in our brains that make up our conciousness and our thoughts fizziles out, and we just die. No afterlife.
just a dark void, which we can't even storming PERCIEVE because we have no concoiusness. YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THE UNIVERSE. NO INKLING THAT YOU EVER EXISTED. Storm my legacy, because even if you are remebered that changes science in no way whatsoever, and your conciousness will still poof into nothingness.
No thoughts.
No feelings.
I suppose some would argue "Oh BuT It'Ll Be JuSt LiKe SleePiNg" or perhaps "BuT hOw cAn yOu fEaR It you caN't Even PercCiEve it" 
BUT I DONT WANT TO GO INTO NOTHINGNESS AGH
 

6 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Hello depression my old friend

I've been sent back to you again

Because my mind can't stand to be loved

And I can only see the bad

Welcome. We have cookies.
Nothng, in reality, does matter.
Humans are weird.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

7 hours ago, Denisimo said:

Ok, to reply your thing about counselling, let me say this about my family; My mother is trained in certain areas of child psychology, and qualified to diagnose certain conditions such as ADHD and Autism.
She believes that phobias are simply a part of life, and my Thanatophpbia is reltively normal. Now, I don't know enough about people in genera to know whether you are all existential thanatophbes, so i just take her word for it. 
So... she sees no point in sending me to counselling for thanatophobia.
Furthermore, it isn't outwarly affecting anything I suppose. I am personally a stoic or try to be one, and I see no reason to stoop otheers in my issues. The only reason why I am speaking to you all about ths is because I am under the presumption that your empathy does not reach a level to which you immediatly feel immense sorrow of my whingings from, in all likelyhood, the other damn side of the world.

I also personally see no point in councelling for this issue. I have been tested by psycologists and doctors and etc, and I was found to have a certain aptitude for a range of subjects and reasonings, one of which is philosphy and introspection. This in itself has sent me into a lot of downward spirals of crippling doubt but it never causes any real problems mostly.

Ok, to answer your direct questions: I believe that this fear is logical becaue fear is in itself a wish for selfpreservation. When you fear death, you try not to die. Thus, your brain inadvertantly keeps you alive while accidenally wrapping some people like me into an endless philsophical turmoil.

Death scares me one main way; I am not religious. I have no faith, and I mean that literally. I find it foolish (sorry, I might offend a few people here) that people can blindly believe in some magic hocus pocus force that will send them to a magically magical land of their damned dreams when they die. I know a LOT of religions and spent some time practicing as many as I could to try to find some sort of faith, but they all failed. Thus, my logical conclusion (and thus why I am a nihilist) is that once we die, the electrical signals in our brains that make up our conciousness and our thoughts fizziles out, and we just die. No afterlife.
just a dark void, which we can't even storming PERCIEVE because we have no concoiusness. YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THE UNIVERSE. NO INKLING THAT YOU EVER EXISTED. Storm my legacy, because even if you are remebered that changes science in no way whatsoever, and your conciousness will still poof into nothingness.
No thoughts.
No feelings.
I suppose some would argue "Oh BuT It'Ll Be JuSt LiKe SleePiNg" or perhaps "BuT hOw cAn yOu fEaR It you caN't Even PercCiEve it" 
BUT I DONT WANT TO GO INTO NOTHINGNESS AGH
 

Welcome. We have cookies.
Nothng, in reality, does matter.
Humans are weird.

Oh I get that. that’s a scary thought bc it’s hard to imagine a nothingness and it’s hard to imagine everything just like ending