The Crow’s Call: my personal story :]

[Crowstavern They/she/he]

Hello dear people! I have decided that I might as well share bits of my new story I’m working on. I mainly write poetry so writing a full story is quite new to me. I’m pleased, however, to present you: The Crow’s Call. 

I’ll post not the full story cause I’m still working on it but I’ll post little bits. It usually runs in segments of threes, following the two characters, and also segments of threes that are side aways from the main storyline. This is a fun project just for me basically to get back into writing.

Here’s the first little segment that’s basically the intro into the storyline but is actually more of the end of the story. 
I hope you enjoy!

Spoiler

The Flames or The Fall?

 

I guess I couldn’t truly tell what happened at first, the fall or the flames. 

I wish it was the flames.

The flames that would’ve gently took me in after everything else had been burnt away in the end. 

It would’ve allowed for me to come with you, wherever it is that you had gone to then.      I had lost everything in that one single moment, and it only took that moment for Life to steal you away from me.Why did you have to leave me like that? In such a fiery and dramatic way? I suppose you were too scared to leave this world quietly like how you had always lived in it.

That’s when the fall hits me, it breaks me apart inside. The realization hurting more by the minute, until I am left a sobbing mess of a person. You had been my everything my dearest, Estelle. Did I ever tell you enough that you were my dearest? My Estelle? I wish I had only gotten one more moment, to try changing your mind once more. To try to keep you here, for I am a selfish man that wished to have you stuck with me for eternity. 

Life and Death never were so kind to me though.

Death had always loved to play unfairly with me, a constant game of chess where the winner would never be me in the end. I knew this yet I always seemed to forget how little time I had left on my clock. Time wore on even after you were gone, My Estelle.

 

Losing pawn after pawn. 

Friend after friend.

Lover after lover.

 

Until, Death finally checkmates me in the end. Life can do nothing but hand me over in the end of it all. It was truly futile I suppose in the end, I mean, who could ever beat Death? Life and Death are the hardest to beat for they are the creators of this silly game they make us play. “Ich hoffe, wir sehen uns bald, mein Sternenlicht. Auf der anderen Seite dieses Spiels um Leben und Tod.” I whisper out into the air, hoping it carries to my Estelle. Then I gracefully take a bow to the Creators and walk with Death to my fate.

 

[Edema Rue she/her]

13 hours ago, Crowstavern said:

Hello dear people! I have decided that I might as well share bits of my new story I’m working on. I mainly write poetry so writing a full story is quite new to me. I’m pleased, however, to present you: The Crow’s Call. 

I’ll post not the full story cause I’m still working on it but I’ll post little bits. It usually runs in segments of threes, following the two characters, and also segments of threes that are side aways from the main storyline. This is a fun project just for me basically to get back into writing.

Here’s the first little segment that’s basically the intro into the storyline but is actually more of the end of the story. 
I hope you enjoy!

  Reveal hidden contents

The Flames or The Fall?

 

I guess I couldn’t truly tell what happened at first, the fall or the flames. 

I wish it was the flames.

The flames that would’ve gently took me in after everything else had been burnt away in the end. 

It would’ve allowed for me to come with you, wherever it is that you had gone to then.      I had lost everything in that one single moment, and it only took that moment for Life to steal you away from me.Why did you have to leave me like that? In such a fiery and dramatic way? I suppose you were too scared to leave this world quietly like how you had always lived in it.

That’s when the fall hits me, it breaks me apart inside. The realization hurting more by the minute, until I am left a sobbing mess of a person. You had been my everything my dearest, Estelle. Did I ever tell you enough that you were my dearest? My Estelle? I wish I had only gotten one more moment, to try changing your mind once more. To try to keep you here, for I am a selfish man that wished to have you stuck with me for eternity. 

Life and Death never were so kind to me though.

Death had always loved to play unfairly with me, a constant game of chess where the winner would never be me in the end. I knew this yet I always seemed to forget how little time I had left on my clock. Time wore on even after you were gone, My Estelle.

 

Losing pawn after pawn. 

Friend after friend.

Lover after lover.

 

Until, Death finally checkmates me in the end. Life can do nothing but hand me over in the end of it all. It was truly futile I suppose in the end, I mean, who could ever beat Death? Life and Death are the hardest to beat for they are the creators of this silly game they make us play. “Ich hoffe, wir sehen uns bald, mein Sternenlicht. Auf der anderen Seite dieses Spiels um Leben und Tod.” I whisper out into the air, hoping it carries to my Estelle. Then I gracefully take a bow to the Creators and walk with Death to my fate.

 

ooOOoo!!!

[Crowstavern They/she/he]

Here’s the actual intro into the story. 

Spoiler

The stars on my ceilings

 

Estelle had always been a wary person, not of anything in particular, just wary. She couldn’t understand what kept her on edge so often, it didn’t truly make sense to her. Being wary had kept her out of getting into bad situations and away from those that would make terribly bad decisions. Sure, it kept her pretty alone usually but Estelle didn’t mind one bit. She absolutely didn’t wish that she could make a connection with someone, anyone. It did not keep her awake at night, wondering what was so wrong with her. Why she couldn’t allow herself to just. Connect. With someone. Estelle would never admit it, never outloud. How often she had wished for someone to come save her weary and wary soul, with a loving kiss and the most simply words of tenderness. 

 

Estelle was a some 25 year old that definitely had depression and bad tendencies that leaned on suicidal. Although, She could never bring herself to actually being in harms way, she was too much of a coward in her opinion. But it kept her alive so was it truly such a bad thing to be so afraid of Death? 

 “I wonder if fate truly was something that happened,” Estelle said while falling to sleep one night after worrying for hours,” that I could be fated to love someone truly in this lifetime.” mumbling out sleepily, snuggling into her blankets that night. It was the one thing she had always wondered about, that if she lived long enough, if she just kept hanging on despite it all, she would be able to find that love. 

Estelle continued to ponder that question while at her job, a simple library with a cafe attached to it. It was another boring day being Estelle the librarian’s assistant. A couple regulars popped in, some for the cafe and others coming to return books that they had read throughout the following weeks since last coming in. Becoming a librarian  was the safest job Estelle could think of and it required very minimal effort from her truly. Estelle went home that day, the way she always did, and wondered that question all through the night, as she had been since she was young. Was Life all about fate? Or was it something that humans could write and Life was just the byproduct of that?

 

 

The meeting of two enigmas

 

I wake up yet another day or I suppose night and heavens I’m sore in everything. 

I was sore in places I didn’t know existed, Life truly didn’t like me I guess. I didn’t even do anything yesterday that would cause such pain in me. I hated having to push through these sorts of days but I had responsibilities since I needed to keep living. I had a feeling today was going to be dreadful.

 I ought to join a club or a gym, something to get me out of the house more than I do. Which is almost never except to go to my job and occasionally the vet for my darling Huckleberry, who was a mischievous little orange cat that loved being a little idiot half the time. A gym would at least give me a reason to be stiff as I was this morning. I give my goodbyes to my little dorkwad cat and head out for another boring night at the library.

As I have no love for people that are dangerous, I chose to do the night shift at our local library. People truly came alive at night and the town decided a 24 hour library and cafe would benefit both travelers and the locals. The nighttime in Sterglade was actually somehow safer than the daytime. It gave way to slow but steady flow of people coming in and out of the cafe into the library for some light reading. 

My favorite part of the job isn’t even the books, it was the people reading the books. They were the most fascinating to me. I had a little game I play where I would try to guess in my head why certain people were reading different books that they pulled from the shelves. Some get romance books because it seems like they can’t find any in their surroundings or I try to guess what kids are trying to learn how to be adults to escape an unforgiving life. I would at times play with my coworker, Sherry, and we just goof off to make working here somewhat more bearable. It’s our only common goal, so we work together in achieving it.

 To make my shift a bit entertaining, I decide to start playing my little game when a book catches my eye. It’s a copy of my favorite book,The Fault in our Stars. However, instead of grabbing the newer copy we have, it was the older copy that had all the little notes in it. I always read that one because the little notes made it all the better. I look at the person checking this book out, and he is simply stunning. His hair was the color of milk chocolate, made into spirals that seemed the kind of hair that never stays the same. His eyes (I think were what caught my attention the most) I swear I thought I saw the cosmos in there with how hypnotic they were. He was like unto the stars and I saw constellations in his beauty, but he was a mystery for me, an enigma, and one I wanted to learn more about.

“Ever read this book before?” I ask this boy or man I should call him because he seems more like that. 

He looks surprise by my talking to him, then he smiles warmly.

“I have read it before, but I decided I would revisit it. It’s like an old friend to me.” he said in a tone so reminiscent that I could almost see his past.  “What’s your favorite part of it, Mr…?” I ask in an attempt to get his name without being weird about it, gosh I sound like a weirdo to myself why am I like this. “Mr.Charlie or just Charlie, that’s what I let all gorgeous people in libraries call me. What’s your name if we’re making introductions?” “My name is Estelle, but that’s just what everyone calls me unless they don’t like how long it takes for me to find them a book. That’s when they pull out the ruder names.” I get out without trying to sound surprised by being called gorgeous by a clearly more attractive man because he is a Man. 

And then Charlie does something I wasn’t expecting from my response, he actually laughs and that shocks me. Was I really that funny? 

That’s just how people tend to act here because people can’t wait a single minute for anything. ”Estelle, you have definitely been the most interesting part about my day, could I trouble you for your number? You seem like someone I should get to know.” Then he pulls out his phone with that warm smile of his and offers it to me.  “If that’s.. If that’s what you want then” I stutter out because I had not expected this to be a possibility. I take the phone and put my name and number into it. “Here you go,” Offering back the phone to him “Just text me a hello with your name, I don’t usually message random numbers.” 

“Wonderful. bye for now, Estelle.” he says smirking with book in hand and then he was gone. Was that all a dream I just made up to make this shift more entertaining or did that just happen? 

I leave my shift around 5am and head back to my home, wanting to crawl under the covers to forget the world for a couple of hours. I reach my home and feel a buzz in my pockets. I look at it to see a single message showing up. It’s Charlie. I guess I hadn’t made him up after all, glad to hear I haven’t lost my mind completely yet. “I’ll message him later” I think as I finally drift into sleep without so much as a struggle for once.

 

 

I hope you guys are enjoying this! I haven’t gotten to add new stuff to the actual story. Life’s been pretty busy as of late. I’ll find some time soon i hope!

[Edema Rue she/her]

I'm enjoying it!!

[Crowstavern They/she/he]

This is the special segment where I diverge from the main story and indulge my poetry. I write using experiences I’ve gone through(mostly romance and depression). 

Spoiler

Side away: I think I broke last night

 

I think I broke inside last night

A little piece of myself

It got chipped off in the wreckage

It hurt so badly

Why did I have to leave you so suddenly?

I don’t understand why 

I don’t know if I ever will get the why

I don’t want to

I had found my happiness in this life

It got taken away again

 

I think I broke my heart last night

I found it this morning

Beaten and bruised

Looking all blue

The cracks made it all the sadder

Did you hear the news?

A goddess broke me in two

Leaving my heart a mangled mess

Shattered in two.

 

I can’t find the happiness I once had

Was it ever truly there?

Did you love me 

like I loved you?

Or was it simply all a ruse?

 

I thought I knew you

I had thought so

I saw all the lines of your body

All its imperfections and the beauty in them

Why did you hurt me back? 

I never wanted any of this

I thought I knew you better

I had to do that

It was for the betterment of both of us

That’s what my soul whispered to me

I think I just miss the part of me that loved you

 

Loving someone else is different

Change has always been rough on me

You know this

But I think he’s filling that hole

The part of me that broke off cause of you

I still remember it well

But now 

I have someone else

I think I’m being fixed

Everything changed for the better

And it all started last night.

 

 

 

Side away: The night we met

 

It was the most hazy night I’d ever had

I was in the stupidest outfit

With the silliest plan for the evening

Make friends, chit chat

Connect after the weirdest portion of my life

 

But you stood out

With your fluffy hair

And eyes that told a thousand stories

I’m surprised still 

That you even decided to talk to me

But maybe I have a bit of luck in life

 

All I know is

I kept meeting you

Dance after dance

You were there

I couldn’t remember when we truly became friends

It feels like it was an eternity

Have I known you all along?

Or have I just been haunted by the ghost of you?

 

We met and grew

Your energy was infectious

I couldn’t help but envy you

How easily you could love

How easily you could live

You made it look so easy

Maybe that’s why I fell for you

You made me want to live

Because dying meant I lost you

And I couldn’t lose you too

So I kept alive

To keep you in my life

Even if it meant 

Keeping my feelings away from you 

 

I remember the night

The night we first kissed

It was hazy 

Just like how we met

We danced till we grew tired

I miss how that was

Seeing nobody but you

Your arms were the greatest thing around

And your lips made it all the better

I think that night’s when I truly fell

 

I wonder if you remember 

All those words you said to me last night

What are you so scared of?

Am I truly part of a topic 

That leaves you afraid

I promised already didn’t I?

The night we met

A silent promise

I’m not going to leave

I’d miss the ghost of you 

the beauty soul of you.

 

 

Side away: What if?

 

My life is ruled by 

what ifs

whys

  Whens

and hows. 

My thoughts are constantly consumed by the what ifs

What if we stayed together?

What if we hadn’t broken up?

What if we had gotten married?

What if you hadn’t left me?

What if I hadn’t left you?

What if I died?

What if this

What if that

 WHAT IF

 

Sometimes I ponder the last one too much

What would happen?

Would I be mourned? 

Only then to be eventually forgotten?

Who would tell my friends?

Who would tell the boat loose in the world?

He’s only to port every monday

Would the phoenix fly down to him,

Weeping my loss in the world

“I’m sorry, she couldn’t take it all.”

 

Who would let the star up north know?

Would my creators give him the news?

Or would he find out in the worst way possible?

I know the star would probably break

Stars can be quite fragile things

They fizzle out from sadness

Or 

They burst in a fiery supernova

 

I wonder sometimes

How the north star would react?

 

What if I married the star?

Would life be compatible with us?

Could we do it?

I always feared 

that I wouldn’t be the best companion

 

 

My years are so young in this world

And yet,

I’m thinking of things 

that bother people so much older than me still

I’m scared of these what ifs

But yet, I still think of them often.

So many possibilities 

 

Do you think I could make it?

In this life I mean?

I’m truly quite scared of it

But I think it’s important 

To continue on

Despite the fear

Despite the sorrows

And Despite the terribleness of it all

Because

Life is worth living

For the possibility of those what ifs

Actually coming true in the end

Then I’ll keep going for my what ifs

For my whys, my whos, and my hows

 

 

The first two are about my transition from my ex girlfriend to dating cal. I’ll leave the last one up to imagination. 

Edited January 31, 2024 by Crowstavern

[Crowstavern They/she/he]

We now come back to the main story. I post this tonight as a treat because I’m so tired from spending my day at a competition for my little sister. Save my soul.

Spoiler

Crossings in the Night

 

Charlie had always been someone that was always onto the next thing. He didn’t enjoy staying in one spot for too long, it made him restless. Maybe his parents always missed him a fair bit, but he had his own ideas. Charlie had grand plans for his life, for he wanted to travel and perform all over the country (perhaps even the world but he hadn’t decided on that yet). 

 He was a man of many talents, but his favorite was acting alongside writing. Charlie could always go back to it, time after time and enjoy acting as a variety of characters. It gave him the freedom to see people from all different perspectives on life and living. And he was damn good at performing these characters. Learning to perform these characters also helped him learn to write. He’d write down his stories and then act them out wherever he could get a crowd or some cheers from locals of the town. Sure, it gave him a little bit of an ego and that made him cocky at times, but he knew how to keep himself in check. He was perfectly capable, totally.

Charlie was on the road, looking for the next town he could head to, when he saw a town that peeked his interest. The town of Sterglade, his old home from when he was younger and more attached to the ground. He hadn’t realized in his driving that he had accidentally came back home, Charlie tended to get lost in his mind while driving. Driving just worked something in his brain that allowed him to step away for a moment and get into his music to work out his next idea. Thinking it out, he decided that maybe it was finally time to head back home, it had been quite a long time since he had visited his parents. Charlie would, of course, be working on his newest project while staying in the town. Maybe even meet some of the ladies, go on a couple dates. Nothing determined how long he could stay for, so he made his decision. Turning down onto the road that would lead him back. The road that led to his home, his fate, and his eventual enigma.  But he didn’t need to know that. Not yet at least. We would have our fun with him eventually.  

 

 

Arrival of Improbability

 

It took several hours of the night just to get into town, I had forgotten entirely how long the roads seemed out here.They seemed to stretch onwards for eons and I truly wished they could’ve made Sterglade just a mile or two closer to the main road. I couldn’t complain though, it was absolutely dazzling to have the chance to drive during the wondrous night. I always preferred driving at night, the sunlight was too bothersome on the eyes and distracted me more than anything in the world. 

It didn’t seem like anything had changed in the one or was it two years since I had last visited. The main road in was decorated to the nines for the upcoming holidays, Sterglade had to impress the tourists that constantly were coming in and out. I won’t lie, the only people that have ever made me nervous in my life was my parents and my little sister. I was nervous about what they would say, would they comment on how I look now or maybe would they beg me to come back home?

 I kept driving and driving, letting my body go on autopilot to think through what I was going to do before I eventually arrived. My childhood home, the one thing I had been avoiding since I started on my long journey. I stride along the driveway and get to the door until I stop, why on earth am I stopping? It’s just my parents, and they love me. I think? I knock on the door, chewing on my lips slightly because what if they’re just not home and I’m here at the wrong time or they moved away? I know I’m hard at times to reach but. 

And there she is, my mother. Her hair (a tone of warm brown to match her sun spotted skin) was put up into a simple braid, just like always, with eyes to match my own. I had always looked more like her anyways, even in mannerisms.

 She looks at me and realizes it’s me, her son. That gets some waterworks going in her. Yep, this is my mom, she only got emotional about a couple things and I happened to be one of them due to being her child. She pulls me into a hug and I had completely forgotten how much I love her hugs. Now she’s got me on the verge of crying. “I thought we weren’t going to see you for so long, why didn’t you call to say that you were coming?” she asks with holding me tightly in the hug. 

Oh great, here come the questions. Forcing the tears back down, I struggle to come up with a reply that honestly makes sense to myself. “I didn’t.. really know I was going to show up until I saw the sign for Sterglade. I guess my body decided for me I reply with a shaky smile on my face. This answer seems to satisfy her curiosity as she drags me inside to say hi to the rest of my family.  

“Everyone, look who decided to show up right on time for the holidays!” She says with a burst of energy that seemed to come out of nowhere. Father is seated at the island next to my little sister, Evalyn. Both with plates in front of them as it seems they were just starting on dinner for the evening. Until I showed up out of the blue. Father doesn’t seem that surprised but he never was one to show emotions that often. Evalyn, however, jumps up and runs to do what seems to be a hug but actually just punches me in the gut. Not a hard punch by any means, the kind siblings do towards each other. “What took you so long to come back here, Arschloch?! Too scared to show your face after so long?” She says in mock anger. “I have my own plans, Ev, and you know that I’m a busy busy man. I have ladies to woo, places to perform and grand olde plans!” I had definitely Ev immensely, my little sister and I were always so close like a pair of thieves. “Well make sure not to be gone too long again,” pulling me into a hug finally ”I missed you, you idiot.” I missed her a lot to, I hug her back, break the hug to say goodnight and put my things in my old room.

It barely looks like I had even left, like the child in me decided to stay behind to keep playing with his little guitar, making his songs of love. I used to write all the time in all sorts of subjects: romance, sadness, grief, joy. I wrote it all back then, albeit they weren’t the best songs ever. I stopped writing those songs for a reason and I don’t think I’ll be going yet.  I put down my bags, grabbing my pjs from out of one of them and pull them on. Maybe I’ll go on an adventure tomorrow? Then I was out like a light. 

 

I’m asleep but I feel as though I’ve been awakened just partially.

I look out and all I can see is a chess board with someone playing by it. 

Dressed in a black cloak that conceals their face. I try to walk over to get a glimpse at it.

They look as though they are waiting someone.. 

Are they waiting for me? 

I tap on their shoulder to get their attention, then all I see is Nothing. Nothing at all.

 

Then I wake up, feeling uneasy but I can’t exactly remember the reason why. 

 

 

[Crowstavern They/she/he]

More little sideways, almost at 12,000 words in total for the whole story!!! I hope reading these are as enjoyable as I have writing them. 

Spoiler

Side away: Darling, come back to bed

 

My darling, come back to bed

It misses you so much

It grows cold without your touch

I shiver without you so close

Wasn’t it just a fling?

I cry after the night falls

Remembering all over again

You don’t exist anymore

Not to me

You couldn’t love me the same

And you weren’t the person I knew

Not anymore

I wish you could’ve been more gentle

You were always one for the chase

Did I tire you out? 

Or did I just leave you wanting for more?

Was it just all my fault in the end?

If you need me, my darling

Just give me a call

then come back to bed

And I’ll spend the night

Trying to forget the before.

My darling, come back to bed once more.

 

 

Side away: My Oh so fragile heart

 

Why did you have to leave me like this? 

You knew how fragile my heart could be 

and yet you still did it.

 Were you always like this 

and I never noticed somehow?

You talked to everyone else, 

about everything that was wrong,

 and yet couldn’t talk to me about these things?

I thought we had had something special,

 it was looking truly beautiful.

 I don’t understand 

why these loves can never last.

Do you still look at me

 and wonder what was truly so wrong

 with us together? 

Or do you prefer

 to think it had never even happened in the first place? 

I just sit here now,

 memories in my hands, 

they’re all tangled up

 and banged up from the ride. 

Now I’m just left with the reminiscent version of you 

and this old fragile heart of mine.

 

 

 

Side away: My Love Mine All Mine

 

My love, 

 

 

I hope this letter finds you well this evening. It seems whenever I have come close to coming back to your loving arms, I’m pulled farther away from you. 

I don’t want to have to go back to it all, it’s all so scary and terrifying. This war. It’s made the world incredibly horrible and I fear that if I don’t leave soon then I may never get to come back. 

I only keep going because I want to keep you safe, my love. You are all that matters to me in this world. I never want to depart this world because it means leaving you to the whims of this chaotic and wretched world. It’s a terrible place, but you’ve made it gorgeous. I know that I might die out here on this field, there’s that chance everyday.

But I keep fighting, I keep going, if it means I get to someday soon get back into your arms in the end. 

I pray everyday for your safety and that you’ll never have to worry about being invaded like countless countries I’ve seen out here.  

Does that moon light your world the same way it lights up mine? It shines down on us like a light through a tent. Do you see the same stars I see every night? I hope so. I don’t want to imagine a world in which we can’t live under the same night sky. 

I’m so happy I get to be yours in this life, let’s lead a beautiful life together once I get back. 

All yours,

“Honeybee” Sparks

 

Dear Ms.Evergreen,

 

I’m so sorry ma’am, but this was one of the only things we could find in his barracks. We’ve been trying our best to try to locate him but the enemy is a tricky thing. They seem to keep on moving Liutenant Sparks around to keep evading us. It is not an easy task but we are using all our resources in order to find your fiancee. I cannot give a timeline nor can I give anymore information to you as it may compromise our mission. Please have this letter as some source of comfort in knowing that wherever he is that he is probably fighting to get back to you. Liutenant Sparks is a resourceful man and if I know that man, I may expect him back before I get him and he’ll be drinking a glass of bourbon by the barracks. 

 Have faith, Ms.Sparks, we will find him.

 

From,

General Van Dyke

United States Army, Regiment 501st