I made a Cosmere rap

[The Sibling]

Spoilers for just about everything in the Cosmere..

Spoiler

The first book is Elantris which is set on Sel

Ruled over by Domi and Jaddeth who's actually Trell

Raoden wakes up to find he's damned for evermore, 

but then he finds that his best friend knows how to use the Dor.

Sarene and Hrathen arrive in a place called Kae

They battle for its control until Iadon's like Hey!

He sacrifices several people,

Dilaf turns out to be evil,

There's a huge and epic battle

and Adien saves the day. Yay!

The next book is called Mistborn it's about the Final Empire,

In a world of ash and smoke that's burning like a warm fire.

A girl named Vin meets Kelsier

And they decide to save the world,

She finds the secret, kills Rashek and everything is great!

Wait,

Now there's armies everywhere 

And Elend's getting pretty scared

So Vin goes out to find the power

hoping she can save Mare's flower

Dox and Ham and Tindwyl die

And everybody starts to cry

But Elend is now emperor 

It's up to him to save the world.

Hero of ages, who is it?

It's not TenSoon, he's in a pit

And ashmounts fill the air with smoke

It seems the world is straight up broke

Until Sazed picks up both the powers

Brings back all Mare's favourite flowers

Vin gave Ruin a real good pounding 

Sazed writes the Words of Founding

Immortalized on many pages

How he became the Hero of Ages.

Now we're on Nalthis for Warbreaker,

Denth and Tonk-fa are big fakers

Siri goes to marry a stranger

Lightsong is in lots of danger

But Vasher comes to stop the war

And Susebron's tongue's pretty sore

And somehow Nightblood's on Roshar

DESTROY EVIL!!!! (This would be sort of screamed in the background.)

Speaking of Roshar...

It's time we talked about

The Way of Kings

 

It's not done yet but it's getting there. Some of the near rhymes only sound good when you're actually singing it, so I'll probably record it and post that once it's done. Does anyone have a good summary of Stormlight? I don't want it to be too long but I also want to hit the key points. Any ideas/suggestions would be welcome. Also credit goes to @stormform wert for a lot of the lyrics, especially my personal favourite, "Hero of ages, who is it? Not TenSoon he's in a pit."

Edited June 7, 2023 by The Sibling