What Happened in Portland

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

Funtimes giggled, and Nathan realized his best move was to keep the flirting going until she tired of it. He ought to whisper some sweet nothings in her ear…but what did you say to an Epic girlfriend? "You're really cute when you're not drenching an ally in gasoline"? Maybe just the first part would do….

 

He had just leaned in to whisper when Altermind pointedly cleared his throat. "Excuse me, you two. If you wouldn't mind keeping yourselves off of each other for just enough time to finish our business, we can all be done earlier. Funtimes, would you mind if I make a couple requests for you today? I have a list of potential things for you to make that would benefit us immensely. First is lifting this building off the ground, similar to your floating museum, but that immense height won't be necessary."

 

Rather than skipping forward with an "Okie dokie loki," Funtimes' head snapped toward Revolution and Sam. 

 

Oh no. 

 

They'd done something, said something, to give her a reason to hate them. He had to think of something quick, keep her happy for a few seconds— 

 

Funtimes let out a long shriek of delight. 

 

She scampered forward and threw her arms around Voidgaze. 

 

"You have a boyfriend!" She had her arms wrapped around the white Epic from behind, jumping up and down. "This is so amazingly amazing! Blueberry has a boyfriend and he's—" 

 

Funtimes' eyes widened. 

 

She pulled away, taking a few bouncing steps so she could look Voidgaze in the eye. 

 

"What do you call him? Is he Pancake? How about Muffin? Do you call him Muffin? You should call him Muffin. You're Blueberry, and he's Muffin, so together you're Blueberry Muffin!" 

 

She squealed and squeezed Voidgaze again. 

 

"Yaaaaayyyyyy Blueberry has a boyfriend! Blueberry has a boyfriend!" 

 

Nathan glanced at Altermind, who had to be fuming behind his illusion…wherever that was. "She'll get started on that list," he said with a smile. "Just….give her a moment." 

[Kobold King he/him]

 

 

Voidgaze. Thoughttown's sweetest angel. Which Revolution meant quite literally--when beings gifted with phenomenal cosmic power walked the land, what else could you call them but angelic beings? Even if some were angels of death and blood, angels was what they were.

 

This angel--or blessed spirit, or gifted woman, or Epic--seemed almost shy as she approached Revolution and Sam, as adorably oblivious of the tassels swaying around her clothes as a puppy was oblivious of its wagging tail. 

 

“Hey,” she began softly. "Nice to see you again. So… those are some nice dresses and that dog is really cute. I guess yesterday went well for you two?”

 

Revolution frowned as her partner began what was clearly a sarcastic remark. Sam seemed to think better of her words, finishing with a flat "ants."

 

"The cottage has an ant problem," Revolution finished. "Nothing the good Doctor can't fix." She gave Sam a questioning look, which prompted the other girl to begin ignoring the other conversationalists altogether.

 

Oh well. A moody soul would be moody.

 

"How have things been for you?" Revolution asked instead, smiling encouragingly at the powerful demigod. "Has Altermind been saddling you with all his war work?"

 

“Well no, Altermind didn’t really work me hard,” Voidgaze confided in a soft breath, glancing over her shoulder at Altermind and a pair of guards leaving the office. "I mean there was a bit of trouble yesterday but nothing that was his fault. You know the usual people breaking into your house and trying to murder you stuff, nothing new… I mean it’s always new people attacking and there were some other people I had to keep safe this time and… well and you probably know what I mean.”

 

Revolution didn't know what she meant, but her expression became compassionate regardless. There was no serenity in the world any more, even for the most powerful and peaceful of beings.

 

This particular powerful and peaceful being seemed to struggle for words for a moment, before hesitantly meeting her eyes.“And um what I’d say is more important that that whole attempted murder stuff is that… you know, I got a boyfriend.”

 

Voidgaze immediately blushed as red as rose petals as she looked down at her feet. 

 

"That's wonderful," Revolution exclaimed quietly, beaming at the other woman. "It's amazing that love--"

 

"You have a boyfriend!"

 

There was an overjoyed shriek echoing off the office walls, and before Revolution could so much as blink her colorful host had Voidgaze around the waist, jumping up and down in celebration.

 

Now, Revolution wasn't one to stamp down on merriment, but by this point Voidgaze's face was red enough to rival Calamity. Revolution coughed quietly.

 

"I think Voidgaze wanted to tell us about him," she said, smiling pointedly at Doctor Funtimes. "Don't you want to hear what she has to say?"

 

 

 

Sparks. Revolution thought she was an Epic.

 

Worse than that, actually. Epics didn't try to correct each other except as part of ongoing power struggles. Revolution was trying to be friends.

 

Sparks. Sam was going to have to plan the sparking woman's funeral, and she didn't even know her favorite song.

 

[Edgedancer he/him]

Voidgaze slowly glanced up as she heard Sunburst's reply. A warm and fuzzy feeling rose in her at the other woman's enthusiasm. Then she flinched together as she heard a loud shriek and was suddenly jerked sideward. She found herself in Funtimes' Arms, who was jumping up and down full of excitement at the news.

Before Voidgaze really had any time to react Funtimes pulled away a bit and asked her if she called Al her muffin, which wouldn't actually be that bad a nickname for him. She was returned back into a squeeze prison without the chance to react in any way.

It was good to know that Funtimes took well to the news but she was maybe a little bit too... forceful about it. Not only did she have no opportunity whatsoever to answer but she kind of started to suffocate under all the attention.

Salvation arrived in the form of Sunburst gently chiding the Doctor. Voidgaze took the chance to carefully slip out of Funtimes's grip. She took a step over to Sunburst and thanked the other woman. Still a bit flustered she tried to straighten her hair as she started talking, "His name is Big Al. I suppose calling him my... my muffin wouldn’t be that far from the truth. He can make really tasty Sausage McMuffins. It's his power, you know? He can just pull them straight out of his pockets, even though he doesn't really need a pocket for it to work. And he's a really awesome guy, considerate, gentle and a good conversationalist and... wonderful... and listen to me gushing about him." Voidgaze ended as she dissolved into an embarassed giggle.

But under all the nervousness was a content feeling right there. They were having a real conversation and the others even cared about her relationship with Al. Granted, Funtimes was a bit over enthusiastic but that was exactly because she cared. It really felt like a conversation between friends. Once she caught herself, Voidgaze gave the three a big warm smile.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

If Nathan didn't have evidence to the contrary, he would have assumed Revolution was an Epic. An Epic with the power of superhuman idiocy.

 

There were many things you didn't do to Epics. You didn't refuse them. You didn't argue with them. And you did not, under any circumstances, chastise them with a smile. Even if the Epic in question wore pink panda pajamas and treated 'dirty meanieface full of lame' as a legitimate insult.

 

Sam looked as though she was frantically going over funeral arrangements for her friend—which probably wasn't far from the truth. Dear Calamity, where is that girl from? Has she even met an Epic before?

 

Perhaps Voidgaze had given her the wrong impression. Nathan had never met an Epic who would blush and ramble about her new boyfriend, seemingly oblivious to the fact that dear Calamity Revolution just treated Funtimes like a little kid, though for all he knew it might simply be what Voidgaze acted like in her better moods. Turn her day sour, and things could get ugly fast.

 

Funtimes still wore that same grin, even though she no longer had her arms wrapped around Voidgaze, so Nathan had no idea how close she was to snapping. Altermind remained inscrutable—sparking illusionists—but he could be seconds away from making an example of the insolent hippie Funtimes had dared bring into his territory.

 

Nathan was the only one who could save her.

 

Great.

 

He put on his iciest smile, stepped forward, caught her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He hoped it looked, to Altermind, like a threat to teleport her ten feet underground if she didn't end her insolence. So far as Revolution went—well, he just hoped she knew how to take a hint.

 

"Really, Revolution," he said, remembering Funtimes' word of choice and adjusting his accordingly, "is that how you address a friend?"

 

“Quiet, smoochie bear,” Funtimes said, throwing her arms around Voidgaze before she could escape, “you’re distracting me from the adorableness.”

Edited October 17, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer he/him]

Ray wondered more and more if she had simply gone insane. She generally could understand High Epics, Calamity, she even accepted that something as sick as Nighthound existed but how where there any sparking people that didn’t just want him dead?! His sister was one thing, she could rationalize that but not only was there that spineless Red now Neverthere had shown up and Ray could only pray that she was simply acting and not actually flirting with that abomination. Ray might not actually be able to stay sane after that.

 

Then Nighthound left. Even if it was only going to be for a moment, he left. Sure she was still under watch by his sister but she wasn’t Nighthound.

 

Lucentia created a throne and seated herself, letting out a sight as she surveyed the two. C4 simply crawled up against one of the trees. Ray herself considered if she may have a chance to get away from Lucentia instead of Nighthound.

 

“Just spare us the trouble and sit down,” Lucentia said with a good amount of disinterest in her voice. “Although I can imagine how much trouble my brother must be.”

 

Ray perked up. Trouble was underestimating it by a long shoot but maybe there was enough animosity between them to actually play them against each other, even if only a little bit. “He does-“

 

“Who said you get to complain?” The glare Lucentia shoot at Ray made her shut up immediately. “As it were, he has developed quite a penchant for causing trouble. You wouldn’t belief what problems he has caused for me.”

 

 

Nighthound’s pet might be growing a bit too excited. Not something that would usually stand out as a bad thing but if this was how she acted after a couple of hours she may turn into an annoyance if he didn’t have the time for her later down the line. She may also be laying it on to thick with the blood splashing.

 

“Calm, Red,” he said, while gripping her chin. “First I want you to do something for me and then it’s reward time. You’d agree that we can’t just let Neverthere do what she wants, right? That’s why I want you to track her down.”

 

Hopefully this time she’d actually manage to do her job right. Otherwise she might turn out to be much less useful than she made herself out to be. Nighthound overplayed those thoughts by giving Red an easy smile. 

Edited November 8, 2015 by Edgedancer

[mail-mi he/him]

A laughing Quota was waiting for Timeport at the top of the stairs. “Calamity, that’s how you sleep now? Genius.” 

 

Timeport grinned. He’d taken a shower the night before, so his body and teeth were white once more--and he couldn’t wait until he could again stain them with red. “It is a lot more productive than sleep, you know,” He began chuckling as well. “So, do you think Corpsemaker will have anything for us to do today--” he paused, then reduced his voice to a whisper, “--or do ya think that we’ll get to spend today like we spent last night?” he finished with a wicked grin. 

 

Well, that could have been disastrous, was Angel Zoe Finch’s first thought in the morning.

 

A piece of wood right square above Angel’s head had apparently broken off of the ceiling sometime during the night. Thankfully, she fell asleep between two old metal chairs, and that had stopped the piece of wood from landing on her. They had not, however, stopped her from hitting her head on it as she jolted awake from a nightmare of watching her parents die over and over and over and over and.....

 

"Run." 

 

Angel stood up, rubbing her head, and Ramses ran over to her, putting his head under her arm. She patted him on the head and sniffed, remembering her dream. “Today’s gonna be another awful day, isn’t it Ramses?” 

 

Though I guess it’d be hard to be worse than yesterday...

 

Mommy, as always, helped the children get ready for the day. It was easy of course, for her. None of the children ever complained about anything while she was around--at least, not about anything having to do with her. 

 

Once the children were all ready, she rounded them up in the classroom she’d been given and told them to pack up. “I know we’ve only been here for one day,” she said in her I’m-talking-in-a-little-kid-voice-so-you-all-better-listen-up voice, “but Mommy has some new plans for us! Isn’t it exciting?” 

 

She was met with excited “yeah!”s and vigorous nods from most of the kids. 

 

“Great! So everyone pack up quick because we’re leaving as soon as we can!” 

 

Excitedly, the kids began to pack their meager belongings into little homemade knapsacks she’d made with them as a Labor Day fun project. At the same time, someone knocked on the door. Cheerily, Mommy almost-skipped to the door and opened it up, and smiled when she saw who was standing there. 

 

“Wow,” Sidestep said. “The kids all look pretty busy....” 

 

“Yep!” Mommy said, then blushed as she realized she hadn’t switched her voice back to normal yet. “I mean, yeah. We’re packing up.” 

 

Sidestep took a moment to speak, and sounded a little flustered when the words finally escaped his mouth. “P-packing up? Did-didn’t you just get here?” 

 

“Well, yes, but I’ve learned a few things, and I need to go back somewhere.” She leaned in and whispered into his ear. “And I was hoping you’d come along.” 

 

“Where?” 

 

Mommy put on a what-she-hoped-was-cute half smile and looked him in the eyes. “We’re going to Astoria.” 

Edited April 16, 2016 by mail-mi

[Mailliw73 he/him]

The Traveler covered for his insane girlfriend, "She'll get started on that list," he said. "Just….give her a moment." Altermind had his illusion nod, but inside he was furious. Why waste time fussing over regular humans? And what did it matter if Voidgaze had a boyfriend? Wait, Voidgaze was dating Big Al, the sausage guy? Something was definitely cracked with her too. Altermind took the internet expression too literally and actually put his face in his palm. Why did he get all the crazy ones?

 

The only benefit he could see was that he didn't have to live in that floating museum of nutheads and creeps. Not a soul there was intelligent enough to deserve a spot in Thoughttown, save Trattner and the professor, if he wasn't obviously losing his mind. When Traveler joined the conversation, slightly rebuking the hippie, Altermind gave up and sat down on his armchair to wait this out. After a couple minutes, he decided to grab their attention. He created a hallucination of lightning striking his desk, complete with thunderclap and brief color-changing flames. "Have you had enough, Funtimes? I'm sure these girls will be around to gossip and exchange juicy kissing secrets in an hour. When our business is concluded, you have my leave to chat as much as you want with them," he said, giving his voice the surround sound treatment. "If you haven't noticed, this city is at war, and I am going to do my damnedest to see that we win. Are you going to help?"

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

An enormously loud thunderclap with a flash of lightning startled Funtimes out of pleasant thoughts about Blueberry and Muffin skipping through a field of blueberry muffins. Once Altermind had stolen her attention, he held it for a minute with flickering flames that danced on his desk in all sorts of pretty colors. 

 

 "Have you had enough, Funtimes?" His voice boomed all around the room, brimming with anger that set her teeth on edge. "I'm sure these girls will be around to gossip and exchange juicy kissing secrets in an hour."

 

Buttface. 

 

"When our business is concluded, you have my leave to chat as much as you want with them."

 

Stupy-stupid bossy buttface. 

 

"If you haven't noticed, this city is at war, and I am going to do my damnedest to see that we win. Are you going to help?"

 

No, Funtimes wanted to say. Not because she didn't want to help him. Not because she didn't want to spend the day in Thoughttown, watching all the pretty people and making fun weapons. Not because she wanted to go back to Lighty Lightwards and his stupid face. 

 

She wanted to say no because it would hurt him. 

 

But she couldn't. Not yet. For now, she needed him happy, and calling him a meanie buttface would make him the opposite of happy. 

 

Still. She couldn't let him win like that. 

 

With a smile, she released Blueberry; and with a giggle, she pranced toward him. The pretty flames were gone now, which made her like him a little bit less. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on his desk, and turned her smile on him. 

 

"'Course I'm going to help, you beepy beeperton." Spying some paperclips, she waved a hand over, melding most of them into one paperclip the size of her fist. Wires and a sound box were added on the sly. "I like to be a helper, if you like having a helper." 

 

She giggled again as the giant paperclip sprouted googly eyes and a self-satisfied smile. 

 

"Give me that list and I'll be the helpiest helper you ever helped. Or who helped you." Another giggle as the paperclip, lying flat on Altermind's desk, turned its eyes on him. But it didn't speak. Not yet. 

 

Not unless Altermind gave her a reason. 

 

Funtimes lifted one foot, twirling it through the air so Altermind could admire her blinky sock. "Helpy helper, that's me." 

[Edgedancer he/him]

A simple calm from Nighthound was enough to have Red go limp like a doll within his arms, a docile smile plastered across her face. She really was an adorable one. He’d have to teach her a few cues on how to properly please him and she’d turn into quite a valuable piece of property.

 

Once he finished his orders to her, she concentrated for a bit and obediently pulled out a map, on which she made a quick set of notes, using her own blood. Then she offered it to him, looking as excited as a puppy wanting to be praised, all she was missing was a tail to wiggle around.

 

Nighthound felt a slight urge to just let her standing and watch her smile drop but he wouldn’t get anything from that bejond a slight sense of dominance. He still let her wait a bit, while he studied the map. It was straightforward; a simple and direct route to what he assumed was Neverthere’s hideout. He’d enjoy the little meeting he was going to set up for them. Hopefully, she wasn’t using her projections to pretty herself up that would be an utter shame.

 

Memorizing the map as best as he could, he packed it away into his clothes, he should make sure to not show it to anyone. With that he petted her on top of her head and slowly moved his hand down to caress her cheek.

 

“Well done, Red.” Nighthound said, while leaning in on her. Playing a bit to her fetishes, he bit down on her lower lip, just hard enough to draw blood. He sucked the blood from it in something resembling a kiss. After several seconds he released her, “Now, I still have some work to do, before I have the time to give you any grand rewards but I’m willing to listen to requests. Otherwise, I still have the time to give you some of the love and attention you still deserve.” Still caressing her cheek, Nighthound moved his free hand down her side, until it came to rest on her hips.

[Blackhoof]

 

 

Corpsemaker looked over the map of Portland. Detailed plans were scrawled in pen all over it, lines, arrows, and crosses signifying troops movements and objectives littered the city. Small markers and pins represented all known locations and Epic or conventional military strength. It was time to begin phase one of his plan- staking his claim. This city was his- and it was time to make sure that everyone in Portland, Epic or otherwise, knew it.

 

"Bring my Epics and my human generals to me." Several toy soldiers saluted, expressions blank, and they hurried off to obey. 

 

Corpsemaker returned to his map, glancing at pages of planning that surrounded it. It was like a giant chessboard, this city, or the map of a strategy game. Risk, perhaps. His toys were armed and ready, and his Epics had all been tested and hardened in the fires of battle. As far as he knew, only Thoughttown had any sizeable military, and they were mere humans- he could have Toymaker churn out never-ending streams of soldiers and robots. Victory was assured, once the populace and the other factions accepted his Dominion.

 

Corpsemaker waited patiently for his allies to attend him.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

 

Altermind clenched his teeth, watching the giggles transition to a grim face at his words. He waited for Funtimes's decision. She'd either snap and kill everyone here or she'd agree to help. He hoped for the second, but distanced himself more from his illusion just in case. After a minute of silence, her giggles resurfaced and Funtimes skipped to his desk. She leaned in close to his illusion and smiled wide. Altermind stepped a bit closer to make sure he could hear what she said. 

 

"'Course I'm going to help, you beepy beeperton." A what?! Sparking woman didn't even have any real curse words to use. "I like to be a helper, if you like having a helper." She formed some of his paperclips into a larger one, with a smile and eyes. Something about it triggered something in Altermind's memory. His eyebrows crinkled a bit as he looked at it, grasping for the memory. Ah! He remembered being a child and playing on his family's old desktop, Windows 98 running much slower than anything now. He remembered typing words, thrilled at how he could make his thoughts write themselves. A goofy looking paperclip would pop up and give him suggestions every once in a while, asking him if he needed help. He had never needed help. Idiot programming thought it could help him. 

 

"Give me that list and I'll be the helpiest helper you ever helped. Or who helped you." Funtimes's voice brought him back to the moment. Clippy laid down on the desk, watching Altermind's illusion. Altermind swore the eyes followed his illusion completely, every movement tracked by his googly eyes. "Helpy helper, that's me." 

 

Altermind shook himself out of the trance. "Thank you, Funtimes. I appreciate it," he said. "First off, would you mind raising this building off the ground like you did to your museum? It doesn't need to be quite so high, a couple meters should do it." Altermind plastered a sickly sweet smile on his illusion's face. He needed to tread carefully. This woman was obviously unstable and could snap at any moment. She had seemed to like his fire, so he gave her and her entourage illusions of colorful fire dancing across the ceiling. 

[Voidus]

Streetwise sat in his chair, idly examining his city, his mind drifting from place to place as he tried to gauge the cities mood as a whole.

He hadn't been allowed to Upgrade yet this morning so he was restricted to one place at a time. He longed to have that power again but he did have to admit, searching this way was certainly more relaxing, rather than having to sort through an entire cities worth of information all he had to do was-

He cocked his head curiously for a moment.

Something inside the Dominions base was... off.

He hadn't even meant to search there but his thoughts on Upgrade had pulled his mind towards the location and there he noticed something.

Someone was inside one of the walls. They felt different than how people normally felt, somehow insubstantial. An immaterial Epic? Or a projector? Either way it was dangerous.

"The boss will definitely want to hear about this." He mused, rising out of his seat to tell him, hoping that his prestige would range even higher from this latest discovery. He had been embarrassed yesterday by not noticing the Reckoners cell inside his own city but he would show the Boss that Streetwise knew everything.

Just as he reached for the door it opened, one of the toy soldiers entered the room and informed him that Corpsemaker was summoning everyone anyway.

Perfect chance, now they'll all see how useful I am.
 

MV walked along the streets with Backtrack, they'd had to abandon the car once the streets began to fill with people. Most people in Portland just didn't drive anymore and so the streets were used freely by pedestrians.

The shadow of the giant floating museum shaded her face as they reached it, she shuddered as she remembered what had happened last time she had entered and her hand fluttered at her side as though to grab Backtracks but she brought it back and held it stiffly.

What are you doing Megan? Her inner voice scolded. He's just an idiot with some useless powers and besides what would he think of you if you just grabbed his hand because you were scared of another Epic, that's so pathetic.

Her only response to her inner voice, sounding as always like Impact scolding her, was a groan as she realized something.

"Neither of us have a way to get up there." MV pointed out as she and Backtrack stopped beneath the museum.

The giant diamond structure from the day before was gone and that shadow Epic wasn't here to make a lift either.

"Great plan." She said, glancing sideways at Backtrack before punching him in the shoulder. "I don't suppose you have any ideas?"

He looked at her somewhat bewildered.

Huh, his eyes are different without the glasses. Kind of cute. But the glasses were cool.

MV realized where her train of thought was going and shut her mouth as her now almost ever-present blush crept up on her again.

Stupid!

[Edgedancer he/him]

After having come to a satisfying conclusion with Red, Nighthound set out to prepare for his day trip. Before actually leaving the museum he returned to his sister and the other two girls. C4 was simply slumped against a tree, while Ray glared at Lucentia, who was going on about… that one time he used her to essentially buy up an entire casino, he hadn't expected her to bring that story up again. Things were much better before the economy collapsed. Not that they were completely innocent in that entire affair, after flooding the market with diamonds and they could only get rid of those again under so many circumstances to keep any business credibility.

 

As he approached Lucentia stopped her detailing of the vital role she had in that story and turned to him. “I see you’ve left the scab behind,” she said.

“Yes, I imagine she’s a bit tired right now. On the upside, I had her figure out where our current POI is located first.”

On that his sister raised a curious eyebrow, “At least that’s something. I imagine you already have the needed preparations in mind?”

 

“More or less,” Nighthound took a moment to consider the details. The basic idea was simple enough, get to Neverthere’s hideout, kidnap her and force her to make good on her promises. Of course, she most likely had some kind of defenses set, if only to give her the time needed to escape, but he should be able work around that with hounds. With some luck, he might even be able to make the attack appear to not be his doing, have them raid some the neighboring houses to make it seem they only knew her location vaguely. Granted, then he’d also need some costuming to hide the marks of his power but that should be easy enough to organize. With how much he’s gearing up already he could also pack a bit of extra firepower, in case she got some kind of Epic to guard the place. Heck, they wouldn’t even have to know about it; just have them be drawn out by the commotion caused. His mind wandered to C4, lacing the insides of his hounds with explosives should do nicely in case anyone interfered but even with the state that she’s already in, he wouldn’t want leave her alone and risk an escape.

 

“Actually,” Nighthound said to his sister, “if you’re willing to help, I’d only have to make a short trip to fetch some equipment I already prepared and we’d be ready to do this.”

“Then we should take care of this matter without delay.” With that Lucentia headed for the edge, a mass of diamond already springing forth from her crawling toward the exit to form their way down. As far Nighthound could tell, his sister couldn’t wait to have Neverthere under her thumb.  

 

Signaling C4 to follow him with a whistle and laid his arm around Ray’s waist, forcing her to come along as well. Ignoring the elbow she rammed into his stomach he told her, “Don’t worry Ray, I won’t work you very hard on this. I just wouldn’t want to miss your company any longer.”

It seems that his company was only worth a string of curses to her and that’s one of the reasons he loved her so much.

 

With them being in the sky it took a while for the diamond pillar to form and reach the ground. Once it was completed the four of them stepped upon the platform on its top and descended within the pillar’s walls. Nighthound allowed Ray to rip herself away from him, by easing up his grip on her. In her usual manner she whirled around trying to stab him. He pushed her hand away, moving both of their arms up and away from their bodies, leaving his side open. Ray took the opportunity and kicked him in the rips. Following through, Nighthound immediately snapped his arm back down, grabbing her leg and pulling her off balance. With her hanging in his grip, Nighthound moved his free hand along the inside of her leg.

“I thought so before but you really have wonderful legs, you know?” Nighthound mused. “Just the right amount of muscle.”  

Ray formed an energy lance to push herself up and stable herself. Having regained her balance she kicked his arm away. Once she managed to get on her feet again, Nighthound slipped behind her back, tightly wrapping his arms around her. Furiously, Ray trashed around and formed another lance that punched into the ground and threw them back against the diamond wall of the tower. Nighthound simply tightened his grip around her and pulled her down to the ground with him, after they crashed into the wall, forcing her to sit on his lap.

 

Continuing like that, Nighthound played with her, until they reached the ground.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

 

Altermind watched as Funtimes merged a few hundred paperclips into one, staring at the result. Big, half-lidded eyes. A small, smug smile. His expression remained impassive, his true skill as an illusionist on full display. It was the same as any other standoff between Epics—only instead of death, Funtimes threatened him with a giant paperclip. 

 

Nathan watched and waited, his thoughts wandering. 

 

Is Voidgaze close to snapping? 

 

Hope Altermind doesn't. 

 

Or Funtimes. Oh God, please don't let her snap.

 

Looks like he's not mad, but there's only so much you can see through an illusion.

 

Is Altermind wearing pants? 

 

It was a question that occurred frequently when Nathan met illusionists who weren't trying to kill him. He could see the logic in wearing pants, despite the power to create them; Oregon was chilly this time of year, and with the rain he'd seen, it would make sense to cover up. But then again, if you could simply make everyone think you were wearing a three-piece suit….why bother? There had to be a certain pleasure in attending a meeting with the fate of an entire city on the line—and being the only one who knew you weren't dressed for the occasion, because you weren't dressed at all. 

 

"Thank you, Funtimes, I appreciate it." Altermind's illusion suddenly wore a smooth and polished smile. Too smooth. Too polished. "First off, would you mind raising this building off the ground like you did to your museum? It doesn't need to be quite so high, a couple meters should do it."

 

He really doesn't like that paperclip. 

 

Fire danced across the ceiling, flickering with blues and greens, reds and purples. Funtimes looked up, saw the fire, and clapped her hands. 

 

And then she skipped off to the edge of Altermind's office, set herself on the floor, and spread her palms on the carpet. The sounds of a changing, cracking foundation were slower this time, what with the larger building, but they still followed a few minutes later. 

Edited November 17, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

 

 

 

The man looked angry, his teeth gritted and his eyes clenched shut as he nodded. But he did nod. For all his anger, self preservation won out in the end. It always did.

 

I wonder if he's as afraid of me as he is of Funtimes.

 

Frowning at the unwelcome thought, Lightwards gestured at his Warriors to return the man's valuables. One by one they stepped forward, dumping armfuls of confiscated garbage in front of the bleeding Epic. A battered Star Wars helmet. A unicycle. A dirty set of bagpipes. All junk, but the man stared at them with greedy eyes.

 

Lightwards knelt before him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look him in the eyes.

 

"I give to you your powers," he said softly, letting the words sink in. "I hold them but return them to you. I own a portion of your soul. Bear this in mind when you take up arms, and know that if you betray me, I will have whatever's left of you dumped into the Willamette within the hour."

 

He unhanded the man and straightened himself, turning and walking away down a forest path. "Equip yourself and follow us. You will be used in the day's crusade."

 

Aldo and his assistant followed, until Lightwards stopped in a forest clearing beyond the Unicyclist's view. A pair of raptors began drifting around him, unfocused as the necromancer considered his next move.

 

"It would grow tiresome," he said finally, leaning against one of Funtimes' fake trees, "to have my pterosaurs bring you to and fro the Museum for our excursions. Do the pair of you have your own ways of reaching the ground, short of falling?"

 

Cricket nodded lazily. "I can get up from any fall. Can't really carry anyone, though. I tend to drop them."

 

The magician smiled, twirling a leaf he'd plucked from a branch. In his fingers the leaf continually swelled and shrunk again, sometimes so slowly it could hardly be perceived and sometimes fast enough to move at a blur.

 

"I can do better than that," he said with a chuckle. "Would you care to join me for a plumbing inspection?"

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

While most of the Museum had been transformed into a Jurassic forest, the basement remained unaltered. It was dark and musty, and the beam of Aldo's inexplicably produced flashlight illuminated thick clouds of dust rising from between tightly-packed shelving units.

 

The one aspect that Lightwards suspected as a new development was the loud humming that filled the air, a sound somewhere between a rattling air conditioner and a jet turbine. The flashlight's beam searched until it found the source of the noise--a constantly vibrating lump in the floor made of solid metal plates. There were plates of a different color on either side of it, from which emitted a gentler, but still loud, humming.

 

"This is the top of the turbine," Aldo shouted cheerfully over the noise. "Underneath this floor there's nothing but open air and spinning rotors."

 

"I thought Funtimes used gravatonics," Lightwards responded just as loudly, tempted to plug his ears from the noise. Calamity, why didn't this infernal noise rise up to the forest level?

 

"She does," Aldo affirmed, patting the turbine plating. "The gravatonics counteract gravity, while the rotor keeps the Museum suspended."

 

"How do you know all this?"

 

"I don't," the magician grinned, "I'm largely guessing. I've never seen an apparatus like this before--our friend the Doctor is something of a genius."

 

Lightwards huffed in irritation.  "How does this relate to getting to the ground?"

 

Aldo only smiled in the dim lighting, kneeling to touch one sheet of metal flooring to the side of the turbine top. His fingers moved across a few screws, shrinking them and pulling them out of the ground. He lifted the plates themselves, revealing the vibrant blue glow of... something.

 

The magician's hand touched the glowing gravatonic component, and everything lurched.

 

Lightwards lost his footing as he stumbled into a wall, the whole floor beneath him slanting dramatically in one direction. Shelves toppled, spilling priceless boxes of delicate fossils to the ground. Boards creaked even over the thrumming over the rotors, as if the entire Museum was slowly being tipped on its side in mid-air.

 

"Are you insane?" Lightwards shouted, puling himself steady.

 

"Quite!" Aldo laughed, clambering along the slanted floor to the other side of the hump. "But intent on living, I assure you!"

 

The Epic worked quickly, unscrewing more of the plates and performing the same magic on each of them. The Museum lurched and jerked in the air, slanting first in one direction and then the other, before the floor became flat again and the only sensation was of a general downwards whooshing. The humming and thrumming was substantially less loud now, to the point that Lightwards could just about hear his thumping heart.

 

"There we go," Aldo proclaimed, wiping a bit of sweat off his brow. "The gravatonics are simple enough that all it takes to weaken them is to shrink them." He yanked up a bit of flooring, shrank it to the size of a splinter, and peered through the hole in the ground at the open air outside. "We'll be close enough to the ground to disembark safely in a minute, and then we can go about our day's activities without trouble."

 

Lightwards took a few deep breaths, steadying himself and fighting off a rising case of motion sickness as he glared at his new lieutenant. "Next time," he hissed quietly, "Warn me before nearly knocking my fortress out of the sky."

 

Aldo bowed. "Of course," he said brightly. "Though this fortress was never in any danger, mind you. All I have done is to, shall we say, hack the controls that the Doctor made for herself."

 

That made Lightwards pause, feeling his anger subside as he pondered the significance of this.

 

I now have control over the Museum. I no longer need Funtimes or Lucentia merely to travel to and fro my abode.

 

Finally, he gave a tight smile, straightened his bowler hat, and began walking out of the basement. "You have done good work, Aldo. Meet me on the street outside the Museum when you are finished... landing."

 

Aldo tipped his own hat with a smile. "Yes, your majesty. I am only glad to have been of service."

 

 

 

The Museum slowed in its drop, and began to hover a mere dozen feet above the crumbled asphalt ground.

Edited November 27, 2015 by Kobold King

[Blackhoof]

 

 

Blackhood takes black

Voidus is red as usual.

mail-mi is green

Twi is purple.
Mailliw here.

 

Corpsemaker looked up from his maps, as his human captains and his Epics filed into the room. Soon, nearly two dozen people filled the room, crowding around the table.

 

He nodded at them, holding their gaze for several seconds. Some of the captains flinched away, looking downwards. As did some of the Epics. Finally, the ruler of the Dominion spoke.

 

“Thank you all for coming. I will now reveal the next phase of my plan, now that we have amassed a sizeable force.” He swept his hand across the map of Portland. “Phase Two begins today: Shock and Awe. This city is mine… but its inhabitants, and the opposing Epic factions do not realise it yet. Within a few hours I want mechs and vehicles with microphones in every part of the city, proclaiming a message I will record. They will play the message as loud as possible, and travel across the city so that all can hear it. A force of soldiers will guard every one. This message will, hopefully, convince the people and Epics of Portland that swearing allegiance to me is the best option for their continued survival. Secondly, the mere act of projecting strength across the city will prove that I own it. Obviously, Thoughttown will be the only part of the city that we cannot go… yet. I still want the message proclaimed over its walls, though.”

 

“Next, I will begin touring the city in a convoy of mechs and tanks, with Electro and our newest ally Collaborate as my personal bodyguards.” He turned his steely gaze to Collaborate for a few seconds. “He will also be in charge of the convoy militarily, second only to me. Do not feel slighted, though, this is purely to take advantage of his power.”

 

“This convoy will also visit a number of locations, such as my coffee shop, where I will grant them my special protection and assign a pair of toy soldiers to guard the premises as a show of force. Any Epic, ally or no, that interferes with one of these establishments or any of its staff will face my wrath. This will incentivise people to serve me especially well, and demonstrate my generosity.”

 

“Of course, recruiting will still go on, Murphy, I want you to follow Collaborate’s directions to the headquarters of this…. Minor Epic Empire, and give them one last chance to swear allegiance or die. If they refuse…. well, then they will be the final stop for my convoy. Streetwise, I want you to listen to see if you can find any other useful neutral Epics for Timeport to visit. Quota and Upgrade, I have a special job for you.” He smiled. “You two will work together, and we will see just how powerful Quota can become when his powers are Upgraded. You may be able to affect the entire city, and a blanket of awe and dread would increase the impact of my message considerably. The rest of you will stay here, and defend the armoury.”

 

“Any questions?”

 

“Boss?” Streetwise volunteered, tentatively raising a hand into the air. “I saw… something earlier when I was keeping an eye on the base.”

He stopped mid-speech as he realized something, the woman could be watching them here as well. Her head wasn’t poking out of any walls but that didn’t mean much.

“It’s er.. in my report, I think it’s best not to discuss it out loud.”

He slid the piece of paper over to Corpsemaker, it listed what he’d been able to see of the woman, along with the location of someone who looked exactly like her and his conclusion that this was probably some kind of projection Epic like Regalia, the location being where her real body was.

 

Corpsemaker frowned, scanning the report. This must be the same intangible Epic that Electro, Timeport and Quota reported seeing riding a dinosaur last night. The dinosaur implied that she was an ally of the Empire…. but if they knew where her real body was….

 

He smiled. “Excellent work, Streetwise.” He took out a pen and scribbled on the bottom of the report. “Timeport, I want you to try and recruit Chimera again, and take a mech with you this time, to get there in a timely manner.” Corpsemaker handed Timeport the note, smiling evilly.

 

Pay this astral projector a visit, not Chimera. Bring her back alive if possible, but dead if necessary. Reply in writing.

 

I....what?!

 

Timeport grinned his trademark grin. He took out a pencil and responded,You mean, I get to go get the hot chick in her actual body, and I get to take any mech I want and bring her back here? Yes please! He lowered his gaze just slightly, looking at the ground in front of him as he handed Corpsemaker back the note and said “You wouldn’t object to anything... frisky happening once I’ve gotten the target, yes? I promise it won’t take too long.”

 

Quota knew by the sudden outpouring of glee that CorpseMaker had made Timeport the offer he’d been waiting for. Peering over his shoulder allowed him to glimpse a few words--more than enough to figure what was going on.

 

Calamity, he thought, why does Timeport get the best job?

 

“Think he’ll need a hand?” Quota asked. His plans for the sparkly teleporter could wait. This job was bound to be more fun.

 

Electro raised his hand a bit. “I could go as a guard. I wouldn't mind the trip.” He had more range than the others.

 

Corpsemaker raised an eyebrow at Timeport’s request. Others chimed in as well, and he responded to each in turn. “If Chimera accepts our request this time, then no, but if he provides any trouble…. punish him as you see fit. But remember, I want the target serving us, by choice or by force. Nothing debilitating.”

“I would normally allow you to go, Quota, but I am afraid that you will be far more useful today projecting your powers over the city. After today though people should have received the message, and you will be free to do as you like.”

He considered Electro’s request. Timeport probably wouldn’t need help though, not with some astral projector with likely no other powers. But if he were being sent after Chimera, it would be logical to send Electro as well. How clever was this little spy?

 

He made his decision. “Very well Electro, Timeport might need help against Chimera, so you can go as well. But you will be back here in time for my convoy to depart, understood?”

 

“Sir, yes, sir,” Electro saluted, grinning at Timeport. This'd be fun.

 

 

Corpsemaker looked around. "Anymore questions?" Silence and shaken heads greeted him.

"Excellent. Move out."

[Kobold King he/him]

 

 

Funtimes... didn't kill everyone in sight. She might be too sugar-addled to take stock of the infraction. Or, she might be saving punishment for later. But at least, for now, whatever irritation Revolution tried and failed to hide, she still didn't meet the grisly demise her name seemingly destined her for.

 

Of course, the sugary description of the Epic in white's Epic boyfriend might have been considered punishment enough. Sam's mental list of facts about Voidgaze's boyfriend tripled within the next couple of sentences, though she suspected her list ultimately looked a lot different than the one Voidgaze kept in her head.

 

 

Name like the henchman in an old crime movie.

 

Is considerate, which probably means he lays his coat down over vanilla's blood puddles for his girlfriend to walk over.

 

Is probably why everything in Thoughttown smells faintly of pork while people go hungry outside.

 

Addendum to #1: the dumb henchman. Name like the dumb henchman in a crime movie, not the streetwise and clever one.

 

 

Regardless, she smiled and nodded at Voidgaze's gushing description. If Revolution's transgression had only barely avoided punishment, then telling Epic Bonnie that Clyde was a slontze probably wouldn't end very well. Best to save the snark for Epics Funtimes didn't like.

 

"No, gush all you like," Sam said with a smile. We can't stop you.  "He sounds wonderful."

 

A thought suddenly occurred to her. She was talking to a Thoughttown Epic. A chatty one who'd been present when the first shots of an inter-Epic war rang out the other night. This was a chance to get some street info. Street info that, maybe, could be cashed into the Bank of Funtimes in exchange for a mouthy hippie's life.

 

"So," Sam began, keeping her voice purposely casual. "Is Big Al the person you had to protect in the trouble last night? The trouble with the bad people?"

[Edgedancer he/him]

The comfortable warm feeling of their girls talk was slipped away from Voidgaze for a moment as Altermind’s desk erupted into lightning and flames, pretty color changing flames but flames none the least. She got the feeling that he wasn’t very pleased with them having their conversation here in his office or maybe he just wanted to do business with Funtimes. He did listen to them for a while. Maybe he actually had a soft spot for the love story talk.

 

"If you haven't noticed, this city is at war, and I am going to do my damnedest to see that we win. Are you going to help?"

 

But probably he just wanted to actually get some work done and they wore down his patience. That’s what comes from too much of her rambling.

 

One way or another it caused Funtimes to release her from her hugging and instead skip over to Altermind’s desk. At least Funtimes was still smiling, so she didn’t seem to take all that bad to the need to postpone their talk. Whatever changes Altermind wanted Funtimes to do on Thoughttown wasn’t exactly a topic that Voidgaze would be able to add much on but maybe she later could get her to also take a look at her house?

 

For a moment she watched the paperclip figure that Funtimes created, it was oddly cute in its own way, until Sam decided to continue their conversation. There was no reason for them to just stand around while Funtimes does her thing after all. "So, is Big Al the person you had to protect in the trouble last night? The trouble with the bad people?"

 

“Yes, well partially,” Voidgaze answered happy at the chance to continue the conversation with her friend, “I mean of course I made sure that he’s safe, who wouldn’t, and it’s good that I did when I did because someone was about to strangle him but that didn’t just stop the trouble. There were still soldiers fighting that I couldn’t just abandon so I went out there again. You know, try to keep as many people alive as possible. I’m sure you would have done the same, right?” She asked with a wide smile.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Edgedancer

[Kobold King he/him]

 

 

 

“Yes, well partially,” sang the creature known as Voidgaze. “I mean of course I made sure that he’s safe, who wouldn’t, and it’s good that I did when I did because someone was about to strangle him but that didn’t just stop the trouble. There were still soldiers fighting that I couldn’t just abandon so I went out there again. You know, try to keep as many people alive as possible. I’m sure you would have done the same, right?”

 

No, because if I'd interfered both sides would have stopped duking it out to execute me on the spot. You self-righteous holier-than-thou pile of...

 

"Of course," Sam said, laughing forcefully. Revolution gave her a funny look, but it looked like Voidgaze was still too caught up fancying herself as Portland's patron saint to notice anything off about her act.

 

Hmm... maybe Voidgaze's delusion was also her blind spot.

 

"But then, I don't think I could do as much as you could," she continued cautiously. "There would have been other Epics there, right? It takes someone like you to protect people from that."

[Edgedancer he/him]

Did Voidgaze just imagine it or did Sam look really uncomfortable for a moment? Did Revolution see it as well? Thoughts of the soldiers that got injured… or worse creeped into her mind. Who wouldn’t feel discomfort at something like that? Yet, Voidgaze hadn’t really dwelled on it, had she? She had managed to keep the people close to her save, helped all the soldiers she came across, maybe even most of the ones involved… but that wasn’t everything, was it?

 

Calamity, she was terrible at looking at the bigger picture.

 

Until only a couple of days ago the only experience with violence she had was someone breaking into her house for some sparking reasons she wouldn’t even try to understand. After she had dealt with them there was no bigger picture she had to care for, unless anyone counted the cleaning and repairs afterwards but those didn’t even compare to injured people… or well injured innocents.

 

Even if she couldn’t agree with working with people like the Empire, Altermind was right that this did need to end, fast. To keep down causalities, if nothing else.

 

She snapped back to the situation when Sam continued talking, “What do you mean?” Voidgaze asked while cocking her head to the side a bit. “I mean sure there are more Epics in Thoughttown, although I didn’t really have the time to get to know them yet, but that has fairly little to do with keeping others safe, does it? I mean Disparo for example; did you still see her by the way? She’s was the tan woman that left with Big Al and Cartwright. She asked if we she can work together with me and I think we should involve her into our girls talk the next chance we get. Anyway, Disparo really helped me out yesterday, so I don’t think you should look down on yourself.”

[mail-mi he/him]

mail-mi’s green.

Mailliw is blue

Timeport clutched the note with the astral projector’s address in one hand and controlled his mech with the other. It was unfortunate, but to take the mech he had to leave his battle axe behind. So worth it. He blinked forward, teleporting instead of walking, like always, always hesitating for a moment between blinks so that Electro’s mech could keep up. With each blink, he felt like rocketing in front of Electro; the sneaky voice in his head saying You don’t need a “guard,” Timeport. You can do this yourself. In fact, why don’t you just get rid of the competition now? Electro is gone, and the girl is yours. You can take her back to Corpsemaker and follow your mission--with no impediments.

 

He looked at Electro as he caught up to Timeport once again. Well, I could... but no. Corpsemaker wouldn’t be very happy, and he won’t believe any excuse I give him. Blinking a few more times, Timeport turned to see a confused Electro that was trying to turn down a street toward Chimera’s zoo.

 

Oh yeah.

 

“Electro! Do you really think Corpsemaker and I would pass notes just for funsies? We’re not going to Chimera’s zoo at all.”

 

Electro was thrilled at the prospect of using his powers again. Chimera had always been left alone, as his animal army posed a threat to most humans. But for Electro, they only gave him a better challenge. Timeport called back to Electro as he turned down the street to the zoo, saying that they weren’t going to the zoo at all.

 

“Then where are we going?” Electro asked.

 

“Remember that hot girl we met the other day?” After I got eaten. That still amazed him--dinosaurs!!! In Portland!!! “The one we couldn't touch at all? We’re gonna go get her real body.”

 

The crazy one? Sure, she was attractive, in a bubbly schoolgirl kind of way, but hot? Definitely not. Electro found himself again wondering if Timeport was the best companion. His taste in women was definitely lacking. Then again, free girls were always a plus. Electro grinned slightly.

 

“Oh, that one! Do you have dibs then?” He asked. Electro just wanted one chance at her. Then Timeport could do whatever he wanted.

 

Do I have dibs? Um, duh? “Obviously, considering Corpsemaker gave me the mission.” Timeport teleported his mech closer to Electro. “Unless, of course you want to fight me for her.”

 

Fight him? For that girl? “Naw, she’s not really my type. But if you’ll let me have one shot at her, I’ll take it.” Electro smiled right at Timeport, ready to Scramble him if this conversation went worse.

 

Timport pursed his lips within his Mech, then smiled back at Electro. “One shot, then she’s mine.” He felt like he needed to shake Electro’s hand or something, but considering that the mechs were in the way of that--and the fact that Timeport didn’t want to be electrocuted--he ignored the feeling and began porting down to the girl’s address.

 

Some time later, Timeport stopped and waited for Electro to catch up to him (like always). “This is her street,” Timeport said, pointing down one side of the T intersection that they’d come to. “We need to get in, get through any traps or other powers she might have, and get out.” Then, you get your “one shot,” and I get my time with her. “Ready?”

 

Sparking Timeport always had to show off his teleporting and time power combo by beating Electro everywhere. He never could arrive before the cocky ax-wielding caveman. His powers weren’t even weapons, just accessories. If Timeport had grown up in the streets, he’d be much more accustomed to fighting. Take away their powers and Electro knew he’d be able to beat Timeport easily. It wouldn’t take more than a moment.

As Electro caught up at the intersection, Timeport relayed the most redundant message Electro had ever heard. He understood how this would work. “Duh. Let’s go.”

[Blackhoof]

 

Corpsemaker nodded as a captain gave his report. He looked over his assembled mechs, from the roof of the armoury, at dozens of robots, piloted either by advanced AI or a toy soldier. They were all different shapes and sizes- some barely more than exoskeletons, most as tall as buildings or even taller. Rockets glinted in the daylight, shining gun barrels were raised high in salute, and newly affixed megaphones betrayed the purpose of their mission.

 

"And so my lord, we are ready to march at your command." The captain finished, saluting.

Corpsemaker smiled. Everything was beginning to coalesce. Quota had begun projecting awe and fear into the hearts and minds of most Portlanders. His convoy was assembled, waiting for him to take the lead. His Epics were spread out, recruiting or threatening more support for his growing army. Nothing was going to stop him.

 

"Excellent work, commander." Corpsemaker raised his voice. "My messengers! Move out!" 

At his word, the scores of assembled mechs began moving in unison, and the ground trembled as they, in twos and threes, exited the main gate.

And began to broadcast his message across Portland.

[Kobold King he/him]

     

 

 

 

Portland was a quiet city. When the people weren't screaming in mortal terror or laughing in maniacal glee, that was.

 

The people on the street gave Backtrack and MV a wide berth, not because they recognized them as being super-dangerous Epics working for even more super-dangerous Epics--because they probably didn't look the part--but simply because they seemed to give everyone a wide berth. There was no talking on the street. There was no mingling. There were no couples holding hands or merchants selling their wares. And a peak into the past showed that that was pretty much just how people lived around here.

 

Here in Portland you were part of a neverending flow of humanity from one building to another, with the path from point A to point B taken with your head down and your posture as non-threatening as possible. After the military-grade liveliness of The Dalles... it was actually a little disquieting.

 

Backtrack found himself subconsciously mimicking the passerby's posture as he walked, and took to taking peaks into the more distant past to boost his confidence. It didn't help. MV was stiff and acting mad at him again, and peering far enough into the past to see pterodactyls just reminded him of what he'd have to face again at the end of the walk.

 

Also his stomach was starting to growl a bit because he hadn't had breakfast. Which happened a lot on the road but dampened any remote enjoyment he could have had from walking close to a smoking hot she-Epic.

 

Portland sucked.

 

Eventually MV stopped in her tracks, and Backtrack froze along side her. They were at the end of a street, staring out over the next block which seemed abandoned by both residents and pedestrians. In the center of it was the crater where once stood a museum, and high, high above it hovered the bobbing fortress of the wacko Epics.

 

"Neither of us have a way to get up there," MV pointed out. "Great plan."

 

Without warning she punched him in the shoulder, in a way that seemed kind of playful but still kind of hurt a bit and made him rub his arm and frown. "I don't suppose you have any ideas?" she asked, sounding like she genuinely expected one.

 

It was probably fair to assume he had one, since he'd been the one to insist on coming back here.

 

He actually didn't have one. At all.

 

"I, uh..."

 

MV just turned red and faced herself pointedly away from him, scowling into the abandoned city sector. Backtrack winced and went back to staring at the museum, feeling more hopeless than ever.

 

Then the Museum fell from the sky.

 

It happened suddenly, starting with a lurch and accelerating into a horrifying death-dive from the heavens that made a kind of low meteor whooshing sound that was hard to make out but Backtrack could swear he heard it! It fell like a brick, then slowly slowed in its descent as if someone had set off a parachute. It came to float just above the cracked asphalt, its doors swinging open and the shapes of dinosaurs starting to spill out onto the street.

 

Backtrack felt a little bit like passing out, but instead he grabbed MV by the hand and suddenly pulled her into one of the abandoned buildings lining the street. He slammed a door that hadn't been slammed in years behind them, leaving them alone in a darkened dusty old motel with no light source but the cracked window they were standing beside.

 

She turned red, of course, and looked like she was about to shout his head off and punch him in the jaw. Backtrack winced but managed to work up the nerve to put a finger up to her lips, eyes wide and heart racing.

 

"They're leaving!" he hissed in a frantic whisper. "That means they're going out to do stuff. Bad stuff. And by bad I mean it'll get us killed if they decide to take us along with them."

 

He peered out the broken glass for as long as he dared, as the Epics of the Museum left and began their trek into a part of the city Backtrack hadn't explored. They were far enough away that he had trouble making them out--whispering probably wasn't necessary, but you never knew which Epics might secretly have super-hearing without you knowing. Lightwards came out first, escorted by what seemed a whole herd of mismatched dinosaurs. Then came the magician and his cute assistant, and then the... guy with the unicycle and the bagpipes.

 

For a moment Backtrack felt a shudder at not seeing the scariest of the Epics with the rest of them, but he comforted himself--with what comfort it was--with flipping through the immediate past and seeing the two of them leaving not long ago. That left the Museum free of most of the really terrible slontzes.

 

"Let's wait till they've gotten away a bit," he continued in his whisper, "and then just hang around in the Museum a while until they show up again. That way we get a day off and look really loyal when they get back."

 

He coughed, suddenly aware that he was passing out orders. "If, uh, that seems like a good idea to you. You're in charge."

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

The people of Portland were of course to be surprised when the Empire of Light intruded upon their streets. Perhaps they were accustomed to Epics who prowled at night rather than the early morning. Perhaps they were simply caught unawares by having beasts from the long distant past corral them and cut off their escape routes at either end of their street. Perhaps they'd built their homes at a tiresome enough walk from the Museum that they weren't expecting Epics to break into their homes of an early morning.

 

Whatever they'd expected, it all came crashing down into their own personal hell this morning. Their homes were built together like apartment complexes, complexes which now blazed around their heads with their families huddled terrified inside. Their scents mingled with the smoke of their houses, driving the raptors and Allosaurus waiting outside for them into a frenzy. Their screams rang discordantly with the bagpipes playing as a madman rolled down the halls of the building and burned it from the inside out.

 

Many of them managed to stampede out of the buildings, either evading the flames or else seeing the destruction from the next house over and taking a chance at survival before the fire could spread. Most of these fell to dinosaurs who ran them down and killed them on the street. Their bodies were mangled and divided between the pack in moments.

 

But a few... a lucky few... were strong men and women with guns who felt brave enough to raise them towards the Epics in the middle of the street as they came out. These were picked off by the magician with the keen eye and the sniper rifle from his sleeve, but their story did not end so bleakly. Lightwards had their bodies hauled closer to him by his raptors, and with caring, put an end to the horrific confusion of their morning.

 

"I am your savior now," he whispered, channeling his power into a dead woman. He yanked a bloodied crucifix from around her neck, studied it in dispassionate interest for a moment, and tossed it aside into a street that was increasingly stained with blood and ash. The woman herself stood back up with a certain stiffness, raising her rifle once more in service of the Emperor of Light. About seven such Warriors now stood around the Emperor, all fresh and ready for battle.

 

Lightwards looked around the street, smelling the air and considering the destruction.

 

An entire street depopulated before noon. Progress.

 

He raised a pistol towards what seemed to be a huge dog carrying a crying toddler out of a house and into the safety of the far end of the street, but lowered it as the pair rounded a corner out of sight. They were of no consequence. A few vanillas had undoubtedly escaped in all the commotion or through back doors, but they would only serve to spread fear of the name Lightwards far and wide across the city.

 

I will need living soldiers to take this city, he mused. At least until my limits have been surpassed. My success with Funtimes' girl can be replicated. Living men may serve me out of fear if not as extensions of my will...

 

"You are seeming quite appeased by the morning's work," Aldo the Enigmatic observed, cheerily shrinking his rifle and stowing it away in his clothes. He had no visible pockets, but this didn't seem to stop him from producing an endless assortment of lethal tools from his thin attire.

 

"There is something to be said for it," Lightwards responded, stepping over a severed arm. "If is satisfying to have one's presence known."

 

What sounded like crying was silenced by a burst of fire and a screaming blast of the bagpipes, and the Unicyclist rolled out of the last smoldering house on the street. He did circles in the asphalt between piled body remnants for a minute, before rolling to face Lightwards with the dispassionate gaze of a man wearing a blood-spattered Darth Vader mask.

 

"You have done well," Lightwards told him. "Your life is weighed in the lives you claim for me. Remember that."

 

The Unicyclist played a couple of notes on the bagpipes in response, which was... at least vaguely respectful, Lightwards supposed. Satisfied he turned away from the strange Epic and surveyed the streets.

 

"I had hoped some lesser Epics would be drawn out by the destruction," he continued, frowning in slight disappointment. Perhaps none of them cared enough to test their mettle against us."

 

"I would hardly blame them," Aldo said with a smile. "But if they're clever enough to have made that judgment call, they'll be by your side in no time at all."

 

Flattery. Lightwards let it slide.

 

"Maybe we just need to burn something more interesting than a bunch of poorhouses," Cricket muttered, grinding a human femur under her shoe in idle disinterest.

 

"Poorhouses are only where it begins," Lightwards snapped. "A war is waged not against armies but against the people who back them. Once the people of Portland fear me more than they fear the cowardly invulnerable and the secluded illusionist, the city itself will be mine as surely as if I held a Warrior in every home."

 

He strode away from her down the street, his raptors perking their heads up and following in anticipation of his anger. "Do not presume to question my strategy. I have pondered my goals for a long time, little Epic. I--"

 

"Ya burned down Wellard Street! Why the sparks wouldja burn down Wellard Street?"

 

Lightwards swiveled in place, feeling the itch of a smile at the challenge. Finally, one of Portland's lower Epics answered the call. "Who demands to know--"

 

He cut off mid-sentence, no longer certain he was interested in the answer. The challenger did not strike the image of a classic Epic.

 

The challenger was, in a word, a hobo. Like once inhabited every city in the Fractured States, lurking in the grassy patches outside Walmarts and begging for change on every street corner. He wore patchy clothes. His face was dark and wrinkled and slightly scruffy with grey hair. His gait was nothing more than a stagger, and his smell was potent enough to be noticeable on a street where people had just been burned alive.

 

Lightwards, as he was being accustomed to, felt slightly cheated.

 

"What concern is it of yours," he asked, annoyed and exasperated, "what streets I choose to destroy? I have the right to this city and these people."

 

"But this is Wellard Street," the hobo hiccuped. "The people here let me eat their scraps sometimes. And they don't have nothin'."

 

The man was quite clearly drunk, and if not an Epic, insane. It was Cricket who made her voice known again. "Are you secretly the most powerful Epic in Portland to be talking to us like this, or are you just dumb?"

 

"Ah'm an Epic," the man belched. "Name's Chicago Joe, ma'am."

 

Lightwards raised an eyebrow at the antiquated name... and the name itself. "Are you here to challenge us," he spat, striding closer to the man, "or merely to revolt us?"

 

"Actually," the smelly Epic replied, "Ah'm here to join ya. Heard yer the new Epics in town. None of the others want me."

 

"I wonder why," Lightwards growled. "Are you actually gifted by Calamity, or is the word 'Epic' used more liberally in this town than I knew?"

 

Chicago Joe turned to stone, becoming indistinguishable from a particularly ugly statue.

 

Aldo whistled. "Self transmutation. Not common."

 

"Not useful, either." Lightwards grumbled. "...Joe, was it? Can you hear me?"

 

The hobo statue turned back to flesh in a blink. "Sure can. So do Ah get the job?"

 

"I'm considering it." Lightwards considered it. With a sigh, he made his decision. "I will accept your service, Joe. Know that you serve and live at my mercy alone. And my mercy is not cheap."

 

Chicago Joe only grunted, which did not make himself more appealing as a minion.

 

"You may begin to purchase my mercy," Lightwards carried on, itching to call his raptors forward and have done with the conversation, "by giving me information. Tell me what you know of the resident Epics in this city."

 

A thoughtful expression crossed Chicago Joe's face, one which surprisingly didn't cause him to pass out from exertion. "Well... there's CorpseMaker."

 

"I'm well aware of him," Lightwards snapped. "Go on."

 

"There's an Epic named Altermind up in Thoughttown."

 

"He is my ally."

 

"There's four slontzes who live in the museum downtown--"

 

"I gather you don't look up very often."

 

"There're rumors of a new chick in town who can turn things into other things. Left kittens around someplace."

 

"Met her, landed blows on her lover. Currently her ally. The weigh of your usefulness is now lower than my vexation, Chicago Joe."

 

For the first time, the man seemed to shed a bit of sweat. "...well what about Chimera? Down at the zoo?"

 

Chimera? A zoo?

 

The name and the lair implied an Epic with an affinity for animals. Potentially second only to the museum itself as a source of Warriors for his growing Praetorian guard.

 

"I am listening," Lightwards replied slowly, giving a tight-lipped smile. "Do go on. And walk as you talk. I wish to meet this Chimera."

[Voidus]

Staring into a darkened street with a blush MV refused to look at Backtrack again until she had her emotions under control. She didn't even notice the low noise permeating the street or the slight rattling of windows, she had only just heard what sounded like dinosaurs of all things and begun to look up when Backtrack had grabbed onto her and pulled her along with him.

"What-you-why-" She spluttered as she followed the Epic into an abandoned building.

Is this a motel? What the hell does he think we are!? I haven't even decided if I actually like-

Backtrack placed a finger on his lips as she was about to burst into a tirade, causing her to blush even further.


"They're leaving!"  Backtrack whispered to her "That means they're going out to do stuff. Bad stuff. And by bad I mean it'll get us killed if they decide to take us along with them."

Huh? Leaving? Who is? MV thought frantically, thoughts feeling to slowly swim into her mind through a rush of blush induced bloodflow.
 

Suddenly realizing what had happened she groaned softly and bashed her head against the wall.

I am such an idiot.

She peeked out the window along with Backtrack, watching the stream of Epics and dinosaurs. There was however one Epic she didn't see leaving, the one she really really didn't want to meet.

She shuddered as a chill hit her spine, face going from blushing crimson to pale in an instant, leaving her with a distinctly odd feeling of fear and light-headedness.

"If, uh, that seems like a good idea to you. You're in charge." 

MV suddenly realized that he'd been talking again.

"Huh? Oh, uh yeah sure. Wait for a bit." She mumbled back as her brain caught up.

The Epics slowly departed as Backtrack and MV waited in silence. They waited for another few minutes before tentatively stepping out. MV could see a few curious but scared looking people watching the museum, unsure what to do now that it was back at ground level.

She almost felt a strange urge to go and comfort them, but no that wasn't her way. It would only end up hurting them anyway.

"Let's go." She said to Backtrack, grabbing his arm and leading him this time as they walked towards the museum.

She had just entered and was admiring the scenery when she heard voices from deeper inside. 

"...they all left already? But what reason could they have? Doesn't seem particularly rational." A low male voice said, before a higher pitched womans voice replied in agreement and delight.

An odd couple walked into view, startled for a moment at meeting others in the museum. MV thought she vaguely remembered one of them from the other day, but a whirlpool of fear and confusion did not make for good facial recall. He was dressed in a purple suit, which was the part she remembered. Well that and his rather impressive beard.

The woman holding his arm looked like something out of a Jane Austen book.

Oh god some of them were still here.

"Um... Hi?" MV ventured shyly. 

 

 

Neverthere waited inside the walls of the Dominion, bored. The big meeting that morning had been a bit of a disappointent, should she bother tracking the two who went in search of Chimera down? He wasn't all that dangerous by himself, and from what she knew of the Epic he wasn't particularly likely to ally himself with any of the major factions. No, that trip would just be wasted.

Perhaps she should check on Corpsemaker himself instead? But she knew too little about how his powers worked. Would he be able to kill her through her projection? Or cancel her powers? A cancelling Epic was a problem, a High Epic canceller was something nearly unheard of, and a major threat to other Epics.

Perhaps just keep an eye on him from a distance then?

She almost missed it, a subtle but repeated buzzing noise. Something sounding back at her real body.

She shifted her mind back to her body, holding a hand up to her neck as she rolled it to one side with a satisfying cracking sound.

"Now now, what's going on here?" She muttered.

She tapped lightly on the keyboard in front of her, causing the screen to come to life with a small warning message.

"Proximity alert? Bit early for anyone to be coming home."

She pulled up the camera feeds from the street, hoping it would at least be something exciting like a lovers secret rendezvous. 

Instead she was treated to the sight of two large mechs walking down the street, or more accurately one walking and the other teleporting.

Epics. Epics from the Dominion. And there was little chance that their arrival here was a coincidence given what she'd been up to that morning. But how had they found her? They couldn't have taken out the MEE already and even if they had no one there knew anything about this house.

"Ah whatever, no time to worry about that." She muttered as her hands flew across her keyboard, setting up traps, triggers and cutting the lights.

A teleporter was a problem, but most had limits on their abilities like needing line of sight. Her escape should still work.

She synced her mobile up to the computer, a series of timers popping up alongside a few checkboxes.

The first timer hit 0, she didn't hear anything but she knew that a house about halfway down the street would be bursting into flames at that moment, the occupants were away, which was a pity because they'd been singing last night and the god-awful noise had kept distracting her. Still maybe they'd left the dog inside.

She ran from the room, heading towards the pantry where she expertly prodded the wall, causing it to rotate just enough to fit her small frame through, she then closed it behind her. An escape tunnel may be a bit cliche but it paid to be careful when you made it your business to go around insulting demigods.

The tunnel didn't go very far, just into the backyard of someone on the next street over, she crouched carefully at the exit, moving before she knew anything more might just put her in an even worse situation.

She closed her eyes and sent out her projection, appearing back inside her own house and peeking out of a window to watch the two Dominion Epics.

[Edgedancer he/him]

After having fetched the surveillance equipment Nighthound had prepared he meet up with Red again. Now he was holding her in his arms, as she directed him towards his sister. The bell on her collar was softly shaking every time he took them into the air with a leap. He had made sure that she would only refer to Neverthere as 'the target' to avoid giving out definite proof from her listening in. It most likely wouldn't matter, if she noticed them preparing this close to her home but it never hurt to be careful.

 

Not long afterwards he arrived in a nondescript house with an unlocked door, that she directed him to. A slightly closer look revealed that the lock had been damaged by a precise application of force. It seemed they really were at the right house. He petted an eager looking Red.

 

He let Red down on the ground and she followed close behind him as he ventured inside, trailed by black wisps of black mist as his legs finished healing up from the journey. Not far inside the building he started to hear soft miserable whimpers. Drawing closer he found a group of people chained to the wall.

 

Lucentia was forcing diamond spheres down their throats without much care. Nighthound walked over to a woman with blood running from her mouth and kicked her in the stomach. She started spitting out black mist instead of blood as the gifted healing patched her up; he’d still have some use for her, even if she was almost guaranteed to explode at the end of it.       

 

His sister acknowledged his presence but didn’t say anything before turning around and taking more spheres from C4, who was crouched on the ground next to her, filling her explosive gel into the diamond spheres, before Lucentia capped them off.

 

She flinched visibly, when Nighthound laid an arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her neck, lovely. As he caressed her stomach, fingers slipping through the tears and cuts in her dress to touch her directly, he whispered into her ear, “Good girl, I think at this rate you’re earning yourself a reward. Don’t worry; I’m talking about a sincere one, not more of this.” With that Nighthound pinched her hard enough to cause her to scream. Not missing a beat he also forced a kiss on her.  

 

After that he let go of her. After another look around the room he found Ray, also chained to the wall but a distance away from the vanillas. He’d love playing with her as well but by now he had to start and get to work. Enjoying her misery would be for later. He also didn’t further consider a couple of firearms tossed into one corner of the room. Instead he started fixing the damage Lucentia had done to the other vanillas, as well as fixing the masks, big things, the kind that looked more like fuzzy heads on their own right, to hide the smoke his control would put around them. The act of making them wear them, along with coats to hide the smoke around their body, was highly simplified by overriding their control of their own body.

 

He finished by setting up a couple of small monitors on a table, while Lucentia laced the hounds with a couple more explosives. When he sat down, Red immediately took place on his lap. He let her. His sister finished up and walked over to him as well. Now that he could see her properly standing in front of her, Nighthound noticed a couple of holes in her dress, now patched up by fine layers of diamond interwoven with the fabric, mimicking the color of the dress. That at least explained the origin of the guns.

 

“Seems like you’re getting to play around again,” Lucentia said.

“Indeed. Although, there is a point to all of this, so I’m not only enjoying my hobby.”

“Please, even if I'm interested in this specific act of dominance as well, that doesn’t change that we’re only in this city because of your ‘hobby’ in the first place. You won’t talk your way out of owning me for my help after this.”

“Fair enough,” Nighthound said, “and it is absolutely invaluable help, so I’m afraid that I own you quite a bit afterwards.”

“On the same note, I took the time to feed your pets.”

“I really am blessed with an lovely younger sister.” The flattering tone in Nighthound's voice was a masterful display of genuine showmanship.

Placated Lucentia gave a small huff as she seated herself, a diamond throne forming under her as she sat down. I definitely pampered her too much when we were younger, didn’t I? Nighthound thought.

 

“One last check then before we start. Red, is the situation still unchanged?” He asked her, while running a hand idly through her hair.

She stayed silent for a while, concentrating and leaning her head into his hand. “The target has moved, master. Not far but it’s no longer where it was before and its heartbeat is irritated,” she said after a while.

 

It would be a problem, if she had noticed their approach. Not that catching her would be that much of a challenge, especially with Red here to track her down, but it certainly would take away all credentials for the pretense of saving her from the disguised Hounds. After that putting her to use would be a pain. Granted, she presumably had enough of a preservation instinct to not simply go to Corpsemaker and outright sell them out but that didn’t mean she couldn’t give out false information or let small bits away. She also seemed like a charming woman in her own vixen way, even when ignoring the short skirt.

 

“Can you find anything that might have alarmed it, Red?”

Again she was silent for a short bit, “Yes, there are two Epics moving towards the house. They are hunting the target.” She looked at him with big hopeful eyes, excited for a reward. Nighthound gave her a kiss, biting down on one of her lips just enough to draw blood, sending shivers up her entire body as he sucked on it.

 

Still rewarding his pet he send the mental command for his hounds to rise, five of them for now, all gifted with enhanced agility, strength and healing. They had prepared more people as replacements but five was the most Nighthound could keep direct control over. Nighthound had already adapted for the new Epics, luckily not fighting them in person would give him plenty of chance to find out who exactly they were. He’d have to have to play them well, giving them enough resistance to create an opening for him to swoop in and rescue Neverthere but not too hard to fight them off and allow Neverthere to escape on her own. It would most likely be best to hold one of the hounds back to make sure he had at least one proper view on them at all times. For the worst case scenario, Lucentia should be able to get rid of them and cover their retreat.

 

This day was starting out wonderfully.