What Happened in Portland

[Tulir he/him]

Mundivore had led Quota back to the hangar, despite the strong urge to kill him and pretend Quota never existed.  Hopefully he makes Corpsemaker angry enough to kill him.  Quota could be useful, but if he tries to mess with my emotions again, I will end him, Mundivore raged silently, for the 3 time in the trip back.  He really didn't like people messing with his emotions.

 

"Corpsemaker, I bring back an Epic for your Dominion.  His name is Quota, and he wishes to serve you." Mundivore said when he spotted Corpsemaker.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Gordon looked up as Max arrived, and spoke. "He escaped?”

 

Gordon nodded. “He had some sort of Walker Mech, looked like a Transformer. Did you get your three?”

 

Max glanced over his shoulder towards where he had fought. "The six are dead, now if you get me in contact with Reckoners, I'll kill the others you want dead too."

 

Gordon looked around the building. “Well, give me ten minutes to gather up the Important stuff. Than I’ll take you to them Personally. Kyle, is the War-Wagon ready?”

 

Kyle grinned broadly. “Finally! Of Course it’s ready. I’ve been working on it for a month! I’ve also gotten Normality out of Beta, and I’m going to bring it as well.”

 

Gordon desperately tried to keep his face calm. The Normality scared the sparks out of him. “Alright, but you’re leading in that case. I don’t want to be in front of that thing when it’s firing. Now, I need to grab my Files. Max, just stay out here, CorpseMaker will send reinforcements once he knows we lived. And Kyle, start loading up the War-Wagon.”
 

He hurried inside and went straight to his Office. Once inside, he unlocked the bottom drawer on his desk, and drew out the box containing all the Incendiaries he had. He unlocked his filing cabinets, and started pulling out all the Essential Information he had. As he went, he dropped an Incendiary into each of the drawers, ensuring the destruction of all his info he was leaving behind. This would cripple his operations, but if CorpseMaker got hold of his files, he could easily blackmail any of a Hundred Epics into his control. Some Epics just weren’t careful with how they kept their weakness hidden.
 

Finally, he unlocked the last drawer in his desk, and drew out a hairy necklace, as well as a bag of hair. He pulled the hair out, and tied it into a circle while he ran. It would have to do for now. Hopefully Kyle was wearing his.
 

When he got outside, the War-Wagon was idling on the driveway.Max was sitting in the driver’ seat, watching the road. Kyle was on Normality behind it, admiring his Work. The Normality. The closest thing that Kyle could get to a genuine Starwars Speeder. The entire bottom of the motorcycle glowed with Gravatonics, and the front was bristling with weapon muzzles. Of course, the first one had blown up in testing, so Gordon didn’t want to get close to this one.

 

He opened the Passenger's side door, and threw his Papers into the back seat. Then he slammed the door closed. “Alright then, Drive us to the Airport. But first put this on. And this.” He handed Max an earpiece and the Loop of hair. “Kyle also has an Earpiece, If he remembered to grab it, we’ll be able to talk to him on the way over. Now, I need to make a call.”

 

He dug out his Mobile, tapped in Rachel’s number, and Called. the Mobile rang several times, before clicking off. He blinked in surprise. She’d never missed his call before. “Alright then. There may be a problem there. Let’s see how many Speed limits you can break on your way there.”
 

Edited September 28, 2014 by The Only Joe

[Kobold King he/him]

 

Purple Phoenix seemed annoyed for a moment before briefly describing additional Epics he would bring to the Empire. His eyes glancing around in a conspiratorial manner, the man leaned forward and spoke in a voice only the two of them could hear.

 

"But more important even that those are what I can offer you now that I have found my wife again. After Calamity we were researchers studying Epics, replicating their abilities with technology, with your assistance we could ply that trade once more, outfit your Empire with the greatest technology in the world, create a truly eternal empire."

 

Lightwards paused, well aware of the look of surprise on his own face. He was vaguely aware of researchers like Phoenix described; normal humans who tried to replicate the miracles Epics were capable of with sophisticated technology. When Epics had first appeared--before Lightwards himself had gained his powers--there had been a surge of new inventions appearing on the market.

 

He'd often wondered whether the field of Epic science had truly advanced so far before the world turned itself over to Calamity. He still wasn't sure.

 

He fixed Phoenix with a stern glare before beginning to crack a smile. "If you can truly deliver on what you promise," Lightwards began softly. "Then you and your wife will be more privileged than any Epic in the world." He nodded towards Funtimes, who was introducing Aldo to her pet boyfriend some yards away. "If you require a laboratory facility or specific instruments, then I am afraid you'll have to discuss matters with her. She is our chief engineer, as it happens."

 

With that he nodded curtly, letting the bearded Epic know he was dismissed. Having a second thought, he gripped Phoenix by the shoulder and pulled him close.

 

"One other matter I feel I should bring up," he growled softly. "There was a time when I fully intended to have you drawn and quartered. The good Doctor saw fit to speak on your behalf. At the time I didn't feel it prudent to challenge her, but know this: if you plant more hidden explosives or in any way threaten my Empire, you will know more pain than any Epic in the world."

 

He gave what he hoped was a comforting chuckle. "Of course, a loyal Epic in my service need not fear me. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you require anything else to establish your new trade, don't hesitate to let me know."

 

 

 

 

"This is my boyfriend. He's awesome." 

 

Aldo stared at the man on display, his jaw starting to drop. Slowly, almost reverently, he raised his hands into a slow clap.

 

Traveler was smiling awkwardly, making it inadvertantly clear how unexcited he was to meet with another Epic. His stance was like a frightened animal itching to turn and flee. His hand tended to twitch towards some kind of bruise in his side. Most incriminating, his trousers were dusted with the same woodchips the goth and the hippie had on them; he'd quite clearly been sitting with them.

 

Not standing over them, passing judgement or delivering orders. Sitting with them as equals. There was only one thing that could mean for Traveler. The teleporting consort of Doctor Funtimes wasn't a teleporting consort at all.

 

Aldo continued to clap enthusiastically before speaking in a low voice. "Oh, bravo. Bravo. I've seen my share of memorable characters, but never have I seen a showman of your courage..."

 

He gave a low bow and a tip of his hat. "My name is Aldo--Aldo the Enigmatic. I am  honored to make your acquaintance, Traveler."

 

To his side he saw Saccharine drawing Funtimes' attention to herself, apparently bestowing her with a large flower. Aldo patted Traveler on the shoulder and smiled into his face.

 

"You really must tell me everything about your adventures," he said warmly. "I have to hear every word of it!"

 

He started steering Traveler down a jungle path, casting a smile toward Funtimes. "I hope you don't mind me stealing him away for a little bit! A wonder like this man needs private space to tell his story." He gave the Doctor a sly wink.

 

"And don't worry. I'll bring him back in one piece."

 

 

 

 

"I don't like her," Sam decided finally. "She's mean."

 

Revolution nodded her head sympathetically, and Sam continued. "Honestly, if I weren't so tired from almost dying, I'd follow her and give her a verbal match she wouldn't soon forget."

 

"I don't doubt it," Revolution said slowly, her eyes focused on something else. "But maybe you'll want to see this for now..."

 

Sam frowned and looked where Revolution pointed her gaze. When she saw the object of Revolution's surprise, she felt her jaw drop and her fist clench.

 

"Lucentia," she said simply. The woman was standing beside Nighthound's big dinosaur, her contemptuous stare sweeping over the jungle at large.

 

"It would indeed seem to be her," Revolution continued, her expression one of curiosity. "Honestly, I'm surprised she got to Portland so quickly. The cabin must be closer to here than I thought."

 

"I'm surprised she isn't trying to kill everyone in sight," Sam grumbled. "That seems to be her M.O." She raised her voice in the snootiest princess impression she could muster. 'Hello, I'm Lucentia the diamond queen. You're like scum in my divine sight, but I'm just so darn offended I'm going to murder every one of you. Boo hoo, nobody understands me.'"

 

Revolution stifled a laugh as two new Epics stepped up beside them.

 

Sam looked them up and down, interested. The two Epics were identical twin sisters, just a couple years older than Sam herself. They wore casual street clothes and didn't seem to be carrying weapons with them.

 

It was the faces that showed what they really were. Both twins wore a haughty expression, with eyes that seemed too eager to please. Too eager to show off.

 

"Hiya!" one of the girls began. "I'm MV, this is Impact, we have momentum abilities. What can you guys do?"

 

Sam almost found herself playing along with their assumption--until she thought of what that had done to Nathan. She thought of him brooding all alone in the forest, clutching a bruised chest.

 

So instead she just grinned at the two twins, speaking in an exaggeratedly pompous voice. "I am called Sam," she told them. "My primary ability is ticking off powerful Epics. My second power is somehow getting away with it."

 

Revolution laughed and followed suit. "I am called Revolution Sunburst Jones. I have no powers, because a woman with the name 'Revolution' needs nothing more out of life."

[Fatebreaker he/him]

As Sandman looked at the Masiakosaurus standing in front of him, he felt conflicted. On the one hand, he was now the owner of a living, breathing dinosaur. But on the other hand, he had come expecting to receive a fearsome predator like the allosaurus at the other end of the hall, but instead had received a small fish eating dinosaur who was probably more dangerous to trout than it was to him. It was as if he had answered an add about a free rifle and received a nerf gun. He decided he would have to remedy this situation. He was going to go right up to that pompus snot and...

 

There in the corner of the room, wheeling in a little circle, was the coolest person he had ever seen. Wearing a shining Darth Vader helmet and a beautiful kilt, was a man playing bagpipes that belched flame as he rode around on a unicycle. Sandman decided then and there he was the coolest person alive. He skipped over, dancing a little jig to the star wars theme the man was playing.

 

"Hiya! I'm Sandman, what's your name? Do you know other songs? Know any Lord of the Rings? I love Lord of the Rings, but I love star wars too, Yoda's my favorite, but Darth Vader's cool too. Do you have a dinosaur? I just got one, but it's not a very good one, but it is a dinosaur, which means it's still awesome, just not as awesome as I'd hoped. Is riding that thing hard? how do you keep from falling over? Is it like doing a perpetual wheelie? How do you get you bagpipes to shoot fire? Is it your super power? It's soooooooo awesome! I wish I could do all those things." the torrent ceased as Sandman took a breath. He was about to resume, when a thought struck him, "Can you even hear me in there?"

[Voidus]

Jeff waited anxiously as Lightwards seemed to mull the idea over before the slightest of smiles formed on his face.
"If you can truly deliver on what you promise, then you and your wife will be more privileged than any Epic in the world." said Lightwards.

And score one for Jeff, he took the bait finally. Although now that I'm with Epics again I'd best start thinking of myself as Purple Phoenix again right?

It took a few seconds before he realized that there would be no mental reply, he had only one other voice now and he was trying his hardest to ignore that one.

Never thought I'd miss the voices in my head. He thought ruefully as Lightwards directed him to Funtimes for supplies for laboratory work.

He was about to leave when Lightwards gripped his shoulder.

"There was a time when I fully intended to have you drawn and quartered. The good Doctor saw fit to speak on your behalf." he threatened.
Not this again.

" At the time I didn't feel it prudent to challenge her, but know this:"
By which you mean you were too rusting terrified of her to do anything other than stand there like a quiet little lambkin.

 "if you plant more hidden explosives or in any way threaten my Empire, you will know more pain than any Epic in the world."
The threat made something within him seethe, straining to be released and teach Lightwards some respect.
Rip that stupid hat off of his head, pin him to the ground and remove some fingers, teach the whelp to mind his betters. A voice whispered.
Shut up! He slammed the voice away, the rage subsided and he was in control again.
Lightwards gave a small chuckle, completely oblivious to how close he'd come to being attacked.

"Of course, a loyal Epic in my service need not fear me. Quite the opposite, in fact. If you require anything else to establish your new trade, don't hesitate to let me know." He said.

Purple Phoenix did his best to smile back and sketched a much smaller bow before leaving his presence.
Insufferable man, why they leave him in charge I'll never know. Jeff fumed as he departed. Now, what to do next?
He scouted the museum quickly to find Marigold striking up a conversation with Funtimes and Aldo leading traveler away by himself.
I hope he'll be alright, I'll need to come up with something more showy than that force field for him. We never did figure out how teleportation worked but maybe something else in theme?
He was deep in thought as he arrived upon a group of four girls, the twins who'd tried to show off their powers at the entrance and two others.
They could have been Epics but something in their manner wasn't quite right, you couldn't always tell but there was something about these two...
Well this can't end well.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Funtimes laughed and twirled the flower produced, so far as Nathan could tell, from behind her ear, but spared Saccharine only a friendly glance. Her attention was on the magician looking him up and down. It was the sort of look that took in every detail, though which details he saw were beyond Nathan's imagination. Epics seized on all sorts of strange things, and whether their deductions were correct or not was immaterial. All he knew was that the more details this Epic took in, the wider his smile grew, and the wider his smile grew, the more Nathan wanted to take off into the jungle.

His smile became a slow clap. A mocking one? Had to be. "Oh, bravo. Bravo. I've seen my share of memorable characters, but never have I seen a showman of your courage..."

Another Epic who knew. One who liked to play with his food, rather than leap straight to punching.

He bowed, introducing himself as Aldo the Enigmatic. Funtimes smiled at the flower, pausing to throw a glance his way.

And then, quick as could be, Aldo had his arm around his shoulder and was smiling, steering him down a path. "You really must tell me every word of your adventures," he was saying, still chattering happily. He was armed. He had to be. There were knives somewhere, beneath his hat or in his shoes, and he would slit his throat while Funtimes was still distracted by a flower--

Suddenly, Aldo halted midstride. A weight, evidently formed from part of his cape and the soil, held him to the path.

Funtimes caught Nathan's eye, smiled encouragement, and pounded her fist against her hand.

She wouldn't win this fight for him. She wanted him to do it himself.

Nathan took a few steps back, looked at Aldo, and spoke in a low voice. "All right, you've got me. I'm not an Epic." He glanced at Funtimes again, who grinned at Aldo's hat. "What do you want? And you'd better make sure it's good, because my girlfriend once made a precog get mauled by his own fedora, and I think she wants to try it again. So...what do you want from me?"

-------------------------------

The child asked a thousand questions at once. 

 

"Hiya! I'm Sandman, what's your name? Do you know other songs? Know any Lord of the Rings? I love Lord of the Rings, but I love star wars too, Yoda's my favorite, but Darth Vader's cool too. Do you have a dinosaur? I just got one, but it's not a very good one, but it is a dinosaur, which means it's still awesome, just not as awesome as I'd hoped. Is riding that thing hard? how do you keep from falling over? Is it like doing a perpetual wheelie? How do you get you bagpipes to shoot fire? Is it your super power? It's soooooooo awesome! I wish I could do all those things." 

 

The child paused, and asked another one. "Can you even hear me in there?" 

 

​That one demanded an answer. The Unicyclist gave a nod. 

 

He had taken an oath. A solemn promise—a sacred duty, some called it—to Keep Portland Weird. The Epics had tried and failed. All but one, and her name was Doctor Funtimes. 

 

She made Portland weird without even trying. 

 

Now, it was the Unicyclist's time to try. To keep Portland weird. 

 

He raised his bagpipes to his lips and launched into a flaming cover of "Don't Stop Believin'." As he neared the middle of the first verse, the Unicyclist took off, waiting for the child to give chase. 

Edited September 28, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[mail-mi he/him]

Dr. Pace did what he was best at while waiting in the food court for the meeting to begin.

He paced.

The Portland International Airport had been abandoned almost since Calamity. Air transport around the globe had shut down almost immediately after Epics started appearing; none of them wanted any of their subjects able to get away as quickly as air travel could let them. Only the most prestigious Epics that couldn't fly or transport used planes anymore, and they only used pre-Calamity airports as the occasional pit stop for fuel or terrorizing local vanillas, and even that had become less and less frequent as the years went on.

And so, that was where the Reckoners had decided to set up shop. A huge database available, plus an almost infinite number of hiding places for when they were needed, made the airport a prime location for them.

And now, they were waiting.

They had planned a meeting with one of their informants--Gordon was his name--in the food court at noon. Dr. Pace checked the clock once again. 12:16. He took a deep breath and continued to pace across the food court, back and forth, back and forth.

"He's late," Robert, an ex-firefighter, said, lounging in one of the plastic chairs scattered around the food court.

"Thank you, Captain Duh," Rachel responded. She was wearing her typical lab coat and jeans, and was doing something on her laptop placed on the table in front of her.

"No," Dr. Pace said. "There's something not right here. Gordon's never late." He finally took a seat, pulling a chair up to the table where Rachel, Robert, and Charles sat. "And has anyone seen Seth?"

The other three looked around, realizing for the first time that the youngest member of the group was missing. "No," Robert started, "I--"

"I don't know," a voice said from outside the food court. "Has anyone seen me?"

Dr. Pace looked out to the hallway that lead to the food court and the B gates of the airport. There was no one there. "Se--" he began, but stopped as Seth appeared just outside the food court. He hadn't walked out from behind the wall.

He appeared.

Dr. Pace swallowed. Seth was an Epic.

This was not going to be good.

--------------------

Timeport--Seth's Epic name, he'd chosen it himself--appeared in front of the food court. The looks on the faces of his former coReckoners were priceless. He teleported closer to them, making sure to keep himself in the same time period, and smiled wickedly. "Good. Now that I have your attention, let me introduce you to my friend." He pulled a handgun out of its holster on his hip. It was the first handgun they'd given him, actually, a few days after he'd joined. He leveled the gun at the four Reckoners, then teleported five feet closer to them. "Everybody up, into the corner, please."

"You wouldn't..." Robert said, slowly standing up and leaning away from Timeport.

"Oh, I would." Seth--no, I'm Timeport now. Seth Nathsha is dead--pointed the gun at Robert's thigh and pulled the trigger. Robert yelped in pain, then hobbled into the corner of the food court along with the rest of the Reckoners.

That done, Timeport just had to wait for the informant to arrive. He laughed. CorpseMaker was going to love him.

Edited November 25, 2014 by mail-mi

[Kobold King he/him]

 

Aldo began walking down the path with the young man, only to stop in his tracks. It felt rather like the end of his cape had been snagged on some sort of weight...

 

Glancing around at it, he found that the end of his cape had become part of a heavy metal weight.

 

Oh, she's good, he thought with a smile.

 

In the corner of his eye he saw Funtimes briefly pantomime a pounding gesture to her boyfriend, making Aldo wonder whether he was about to find out how strong of a punching arm Traveler had. While the action would no doubt be educational in its own way, he was relieved to see the man take a few steps back and fix him with a glare.

 

 "All right, you've got me," Traveler began in a low voice. "I'm not an Epic." The bold vanilla man glanced at Doctor Funtimes a moment before continuing. "What do you want? And you'd better make sure it's good, because my girlfriend once made a precog get mauled by his own fedora, and I think she wants to try it again. So...what do you want from me?"

 

At this Aldo gave a deep chuckle. "My my, the pair of you do make a smashing good team!"

 

He touched the weight on his cape, shrinking it to a tenth of it's size and holding it in his hand. "All I want from you is a story, my good man, and I'm sure yours is a cracking good one."

 

He reached into his pocket, exchanging the shrunken down weight for a tiny folded chair. He pulled it out with a flourish, inflating it to full size and unfolding it on the jungle grass.

 

"And if you're still a little edgy around little old me," Aldo continued with a grandfatherly smile, "we can talk right here where these fine ladies can see the whole thing."

 

 

 

The moment Phoenix had disappeared from view, another Epic took his place.

 

Lightwards looked this new Epic up and down--this one he hadn't seen before. He wore mostly plain clothes, but his face sported a ridiculous pair of pink-tinted sunglasses. He had a hawk-like nose and long, greasy hair. He had a wide grin on his face as he looked at his new Emperor.

 

"Welcome to the Empire," Lightwards said in what he hoped was a suitably warm manner. "You are the one called Backslash, I believe?"

 

The man shook his head, still grinning. He took a step forward, bringing himself and Lightwards into a proximity the latter found uncomfortable.

 

"Close," the man replied softly. "They call me Backtrack. And let me just say that it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Professor Cardinal."

 

Lightwards took a step back irritably. "I'm glad you're pleased," he replied, "I--"

 

He cut off with a wild realization. Before he'd consciously measured what he was doing, he had pulled a pistol from the nearest Warrior and pointed it into Backtrack's grinning face.

 

Backtrack stopped grinning, looking suddenly alarmed. The Epic took a few steps backwards, only to bump into the particularly vicious raptor from before.

 

The raptor was growling with an intensity to match Lightwards' glare.

 

"I want you to explain to me," Lightwards said in a still voice, "how you came to know that name. And then I want you to explain to me why I shouldn't kill you for having it."

 

Backtrack licked his lips nervously, glancing from Lightwards to the dinosaur. He quickly put his hands in the air and let out an anxious laugh. "Dude, dude," he started saying. "Chillax! So I know your name, big deal. I know lots of people's names!"

 

The other Epics in the Museum seemed to notice the violent outburst, but with any luck wouldn't have heard the words. Lightwards raised his voice. "Come with me," he told the man sternly.

 

He led the pair of them deeper into the jungle, out of sight and earshot for the other Epics. He made sure the raptor stayed put, but kept the pistol locked on Backtrack as they walked. The man seemed to have lost some of his composure, whimpering slightly as they went.

 

"Alright," Lightwards said finally, stopping once they'd reached a safe distance away. "Now explain."

 

Backtrack sniffed slightly before delving into a rant. "Dude, what is your deal?" he demanded hysterically. "I said your name for crying out loud! Then you stuck a gun in my face and sicked a rabid dino on me--did that dino look rabid? I think it looked rabid--"

 

For the second time that day, Lightwards gave in to the temptation to punch someone. He rammed his fist into Backtrack's stomach, and then kicked his knee to drive him to the ground. "Be quiet," he snarled angrily, glaring at the whining Epic with contempt. The man hushed himself before pulling himself back to his feet.

 

"I want you to calmly explain what you are and how you know my name," Lightwards growled.

 

The man took a deep breath before straightening his pink glasses. "I'm an Epic," he said finally.

 

"Congratulations," Lightwards replied dryly. "Now continue."

 

"I'm called Backtrack," the man went on, regaining some degree of composure.

 

"I believe we've established that already. Go on."

 

Backtrack shook for a moment before offering the necromancer his hand. "Take it," he pleaded. "I'll show you what I can do."

 

Lightwards glowered at him suspiciously for a moment before firmly gripping his wrist.

 

At once the Museum seemed to change; instead of standing in the steaming jungle, the pair stood in a shadowy specter of the museum as it once was. Tiled floors and fossilized skeletons surrounded them, and the silhouettes of former occupants darted around them.

 

"What is this?" Lightwards asked quietly.

 

"It's what I do," Backtrack explained, trying to sound appeasing. "I see into the past. If I stand in a spot, I can see what's happened there before. When I look at a person, I can see where's he's been in his life. Where he was born. Where's he's traveled. Where he ate breakfast each morning."

 

The shadowy history of the museum unfolded--more and more skeletons began to line the walls, and the shapes of Hotwire and her associates began to move about. There was a brief battle that seemed to fast-forward in Lightwards' eyes; he saw himself reanimating an elephant in the hall. He saw Nighthound murder the invisibility Epic. He saw Purple Phoenix make a covert entrance before attacking Hotwire.

 

He saw Quickslide slam his past self into a wall and begin firing eleven bullets into his body. With a shudder Lightwards shook Backtrack's hand away from his and scowled.

 

When the skin contact ended, they were standing in the jungle once more.

 

"So you saw my past," Lightwards whispered angrily. "And saw what I used to be."

 

"Not quite," Backtrack explained soothingly. "I just heard the name when you were talking to Möbius the first time--"

 

Backtrack yelped as Lightwards immediately pressed the barrel of his pistol into his neck.

 

"Dude, quit it with the gun-pointing!" Backtrack screeched helplessly, taking a few frenzied steps back. "This is why you don't have any friends, you know! You keep pointing guns at everybody--"

 

"Shut up," Lightwards snapped savagely. "What do you know about Möbius?"

 

"Nothing! Dude, I've never even spoken with the chick. I saw the two of you fighting along the border, and I was impressed by you!"

 

Backtrack's tone was pleading. Lightwards kept the gun pointed at his face, but didn't yet open fire.

 

"She killed you," continued Backtrack, drops of sweat on his face. "But you got back up. You just got back up, dusted off your trousers, and strolled into Oregon like a boss. It was awesome. So I decided to do some research. I traced your steps back to California to see how you two met, then I rushed back here to see what you'd do next!"

 

"This is the worst attempt at flattery I have ever heard," Lightwards said harshly. "And  you've yet to address my most important question. If you know enough about me to know my old name--and if you saw when I met Möbius, when my weakness was set off--then Why. Shouldn't. I. Kill you?"

 

"Because I'm just so cool?" Backtrack pleaded hopefully. Lightwards made a motion to pull the pistol's trigger.

 

"Because I can help you," Backtrack continued, panicking. "If I can find out so much about you, think of what I could find out about your enemies!"

 

Lightwards lowered the pistol thoughtfully. "Can you learn the weakness of the Epic called Doctor Funtimes?"

 

"Uh, no. Sorry. Teleporters kind of throw me off my game--"

 

Lightwards raised the pistol again with a glare.

 

"Wait, wait!" Backtrack yelled. "I can tell you some stuff, man. She got that boyfriend of hers from Newcago by the looks of it, and she's been spending her nights in Tillamook here lately."

 

"Interesting," Lightwards growled. "But not lifesaving."

 

"Uh, wait a minute!" Backtrack continued nervously. "Uh... what about those servants of hers? I can tell you about them--you could use them as leverage or something!"

 

Lightwards narrowed his eyes, but lowered his pistol again. "Fine," he said quietly. "What can you tell me?"

 

"Addresses," Backtrack said, obviously relieved. "The goth girl lives in town, I can give you her home address. She's probably got family you could hold hostage or something. The hippie chick lives way out west of here, I don't know the exact coordinates. But I could find them."

 

"What about the hunter?" Lightwards demanded. The gun-toting man seemed to be the most aggressive--finding a way to neutralize him would be greatly helpful.

 

"Easy," Backtrack replied, looking excited. "He comes from somewhere by The Dalles. I don't know if he has family or not, but I could go scout it out."

 

"Send you to The Dalles?" Lightwards said, beginning to laugh. "You wouldn't come back. This is all ridiculous. I should kill you now."

 

"I'd come back," assured Backtrack, a hint of indignation appearing in his tone. "I keep my promises. And even if I didn't, I'd know you could just track me down and kill me if I didn't come back. I'd just pop over to whatever hillbilly trailer park he comes from and come back with a report."

 

Lightwards nodded thoughtfully. Finally, he tossed the man his notepad and a pen. "Write the goth's address there," he commanded. "I'll scout it out for myself. You go to The Dalles."

 

Backtrack enthusiastically scrawled an address into the pad, then tossed it back. "There ya have it. Can... can I go now?"

 

Lightwards read the address, then gave a curt nod. "You are dismissed," he told the man. "Be back by sunset, or I'll send someone after you."

 

He waved pointedly with his pistol. "Come back, and you'll have proven yourself marginally useful. Try to run away, on the other hand... and I will destroy you. I won't leave so much as a drop of blood from your carcass, little Epic. If you wish to live, you will come back."

 

Backtrack nodded before taking a few frightened steps back towards the Museum entrance. "Yes sir," he groveled. "Absolutely. I'm heading straight to The Dalles now..."

 

With that, Backtrack turned around and hurried out of sight.

 

Lightwards sighed, taking another look at the notepad, thinking dark thoughts about the coward in the pink sunglasses.

 

I had better not regret this, little Epic.

 

[Mrs. Voidus she/her]

 

Saccharine was inwardly seething at her apparent failure to capture Funtimes' attention. She had thought that something showy and creative would have been enough to bring focus to her request. 

Like as not it would be phrased never so well as it had just been, and for it to have fallen on deaf ears was maddening. 

None the less, causing a scene now would weaken her bargaining power and as things stood it was uncertain how Lightwards - the supposed Emperor, would react to their arrival in the first place. 

 

Following Funtimes' gaze to the retreating pair of Aldo and the man only moments ago revealed to be Funtimes' boyfriend, Saccharine began to try to piece things together. Aldo had been in the building for no longer than any other member and yet he had taken it upon himself to whisk away a seemingly random member of the group and had taken no interest in the first or second in command.

Mentally casting out to her pet cricket Hari, Saccharine attempted to act as though she had not said anything at all after her little magic trick. 

Hello my little lovelykins, mummy is sorry to use you again, but do as she commands and you can have all the fungi you want.

 

Off hopped the little creature onto the underside of Aldo's rippling cape, dodging the sudden appearance of a heavy weight and immediately began transmitting the conversation of the two to Saccharine who turned towards a concerned but restrained Funtimes.

"My dear," she began in her most matronly tone. "It can be hard can it not, when we want to trust our loved ones to protect themselves, but wish we could remove the need to trust them in the first place? No danger, no worry. Especially when they are in company unlike themselves."

 
She hoped that this would grab the epics attention. "After all, we don't all wear fedora's that get hungry."

There, she thought as she registered Hari move to the back of Aldo's shoe. That ought to get her thinking about how much I know, though it may sound just like gossip. How can I use what I know about "Traveller" without becoming a threat. I would so hate to lose a tea party member before she is even invited. 

Edited September 29, 2014 by Mrs. Voidus

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Doctor Funtimes grinned as she watched her boyfriend lean against a tree. Aldo the Enigmatic—an amazing name, but not as amazing as Nathan—had pulled a chair from his pocket and sat. That was interesting. And fun. She would like to pull chairs out of her pocket, but her dress didn't have pockets. Which was stupid, but few prom dresses were made with pockets because every dress designer was a meanie buttface.

Meanie buttface. She giggled, savoring the way those words sounded in her head. Meanie buttface, meanie buttface, meanie….

She liked the way he stood. Sort of relaxed, sort of not, arms folded across his chest. Even if he had a gun, she doubted his finger would be on the trigger. She liked that about Nathan. She liked the way he could stand and talk and listen without even thinking about murdering things. And he was cute. Cute and not murderous and completely able to talk to Epics like Jeffrey without getting killed.

Jeffrey. She giggled again. He looked like a Jeffrey, no matter how much he might deny it. It was the hammer pants. Hammer pants made everyone look like a Jeffrey.

Funtimes watched the conversation play itself out. Aldo was listening and Nathan was talking, and Aldo didn't seem anywhere near killing him. That was good. For him. If he tried, she would have to turn his shirt into acid, and he had such a snazzy mustache it would be a shame to cover his chest in acid burns. Not that she would like the screaming, either, and it would be a double shame to have such a fun Epic be her enemy.

"My dear." Funtimes turned abruptly as Saccharine's voice reminded her she was there. "It can be hard can it not, when we want to trust our loved ones to protect themselves, but wish we could remove the need to trust them in the first place? No danger, no worry. Especially when they are in company unlike themselves."

Was that a threat? Had Funtimes said it, it would most certainly be a threat. But Saccharine wasn't Funtimes. Not at all. She had much nicer hair, for one thing. It was all curly and spilled all over the place from beneath one of the best hats she had ever seen. Saccharine was an Epic who knew how to choose a hat. Maybe it wasn't a threat. Maybe she was offering to help.

Funtimes waited for Saccharine to continue, but all she added was: "After all, we don't all wear fedoras that get hungry."

Funtimes looked from Saccharine to Nathan and Aldo to Saccharine again, pulled the woman close, and whispered in her ear. "How did you know about that dirty meanieface's meanie hat?"

Nathan leaned against a tree as Aldo whipped a folding chair out of his pocket, increased it to normal size, and sat.

"And if you're still a little edgy around little old me, we can talk right here where these fine ladies can see the whole thing."

Aldo wanted a story. Not just any story, but his story. A story that involved a murderous precog and a lot of things that made very little sense, even in hindsight. A story that could very well tip his hand as to how little he wanted to be there.

Nathan studied Aldo for a moment. He sat there with an expectant smile, waiting for him to begin. He had sought Funtimes out the moment he spotted her rainbow dress. Not Lightwards. Not Nighthound. Her. He admired her—that much was clear in the doe-eyed glances he gave her—and sought her favor over the Emperor's.

And he hadn't attempted murder yet, so he had one thing going for him.

Something began to stir in Nathan's chest. He had been punched, threatened, glared at, and insulted. He suspected Funtimes' trick with the tar was the only reason he was still in the jungle instead of splattered across the pavement five thousand feet below. And now he had an Epic, who could apparently shrink things at will and probably had a small arsenal in his pockets, grinning expectantly and waiting for him to tell his story.

He had enough enemies in the Empire, and he wasn't about to be Aldo's lackey. One minute it's a story; the next minute, it's a request for something larger. If Aldo were willing to treat him like something slightly less than an equal, he would make sure it was a mutually beneficial arrangement.

And, if all else failed, Funtimes could always turn his own hat against him.

"All right, Aldo. I'll tell you my story, but I need to know something first. What you get out of this is clear. You get to know who I am, where I came from, and what I'm doing here, but you never said what I get out of it. So tell me: If I tell you my story, what are you willing to do for me?" Edited September 29, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Mrs. Voidus she/her]

 

Saccharine smiled when Funtimes turned her head in attention.

It Worked! 

 

"How did you know about that dirty meanieface's meanie hat?" Funtimes whispered.

 

"I don't." Saccharine replied as she silently called back her cricket, who speedily hopped onto her finger.

 

"This is Hari. She doesn't know him either, but Traveller did, and Hari heard him talking about it. I believe it was in a threat, which was followed by some bargaining. It seems your sweetie is as clever as you are when it comes to defending himself. Here," she said as she offered her pet to Funtimes.

 

"I assure you she is harmless. Though for many of my other little friends I cannot say the same. This is not a threat you understand, I only wish to be friends. And I do not want to do any harm to your dear one either, as I hope you will say the same for mine." Saccharine smiled warmly and gestured with her free hand in her husbands direction.

 

"I only want to be frank with you, in the hope that we can work together. I am a biochemist in need of a laboratory. I could plead with you now but that would be rather crass when we hardly know each other wouldn't it? So how about a cup of tea and some cookies? I have blueberry!"

[Kobold King he/him]

    

 

 

Who does that psychotic slontze think he is? Backtrack fumed as he ran up the jungle path. Nobody talks to Steve Lawrence like that. I ought to show him the full wrath of Backtrack...

 

He didn't go back and show him, of course. There was a reason why Lightwards would join the ever-growing list of people who would never meet the full wrath of Backtrack. That reason was simple: the full wrath of Backtrack wasn't all that intimidating.

 

Guns and rabid dinosaurs, on the other hand, were very intimidating.

 

Kicking himself for following this guy into town, Backtrack stopped at the Museum exit. It suddenly occurred to him that he had no way of getting down from this infernal place without another Epic.

 

Real smooth, Backtrack, he thought irritably to himself. Way to lock yourself in with these psychos...

 

His eyes scanned the crowd of mingling Epics, before inevitably settling on the pair of twins.

 

There was a moment of hesitation--he was well aware of how terrified he was at the moment. He didn't want to blow his impression in front of the girls by showing just how panicky he could be. Why, he wouldn't get show much as a peck on the cheek if they saw how shaky he was now.

 

Play it cool, Backtrack, he told himself firmly. You got this.

 

Spitting on his hand and slicking his hair back, he strode over to where the twin Epics were chatting.

 

The pair of them were staring at the goth and the hippie, apparently unsure how to react to the other girl's latest remarks. Backtrack seized the opportunity to sneak up behind them and throw his arms around their shoulders.

 

"Hiya Impact!" he exclaimed happily. "Hiya MV! Still looking as gorgeous as ever, I see."

 

Before any of the gathered people could respond, he touched their arms gently, showing a few shots of the Museum's recent past. These were shots he'd taken a look at when he'd first walked in the door--shots that had made him want to walk right back out.

 

Squeezing their arms slightly while maintaining a nervous chuckle, he showed them various shots of Nighthound abusing that girl in the dog collar.

 

"Take a look at that, ladies," he whispered urgently. "This gentleman's your main chance at decent company right now. So here's your choice: you come take a leisurely drive with me to The Dalles and back again, or you wait for him to come along and find a pair of matching collars."

 

He hugged the two twins close to himself, waiting for a response while he grinned at the snickering vanilla girls.

 

 

 

This just kept getting better and better.

 

While the request for a story seemed simple enough to Aldo, something seemed to snap inside of Traveler. The not-Epic stared at him for a moment before his breathing rate become slightly higher, his face twitching in ways characteristic of general dissatisfaction and irritation.

 

Traveler, it seemed, was not having a good day.

 

"All right, Aldo," the man said finally. "I'll tell you my story, but I need to know something first. What you get out of this is clear. You get to know who I am, where I came from, and what I'm doing here, but you never said what I get out of it. So tell me: If I tell you my story, what are you willing to do for me?"

 

Aldo whistled softly, leaning back in his chair. "So you're a negotiator as well as an actor now?" he exclaimed cheerfully. "You drive a hard bargain sir, but I think I have an offer."

 

He glanced around in a conspiratorial manner before scooting closer to Traveler. "How 'bout a fair trade?" he suggested with a smile. "A story for a story. You tell me how you came to be here, and I tell you how I came to be here. Tell me how you met Doctor Funtimes, and I tell you how I met the Tennessee Sibyl."

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Summoner drew his sword out of the man's neck as he dropped to the ground. He hated that feeling. The feeling one got when he killed some other human being. It was almost a Thrill. He had been experiencing this feeling more and more lately. Summoner only killed those who deserved it though. This man had accosted Smoky. While Summoner had gone to get the box of cereal they had forgotten, the man had come up to Smoky as she had begun walking out. Summoner had come out of the aisle to see a sleazy man put his arm around her shoulder and whisper in her ear. She had turned and slapped him immediately. Summoner began the process of summoning his sword from the Other. He had ran over the the man and Smoky, knowing his plan, conjured up her smoke in front of the man's eyes. Summoner's blade had appeared in his hand and he rammed it through the creep's neck. Smoky dissipated the smoke and the man dropped to the ground.

"Thank you so much, honey," Smoky smiled and said to him as she reached up and kissed Summoner on the cheek. "He was a creepy one. And inappropriate too!" She asserted.

"I know, darling," Summoner said as he linked his arm through hers and began walking out of the store. He dismissed his blade and it disappeared as it formed into mist. Summoner had first claimed a very nice sports car as one of his first acts as an Epic. A Dodge Viper. The Epic couple made their way to the car.

"Smoky, babe, have you heard about these Epics taking sides?" He knew she had. Everyone had; she liked it when he asked her things first though. She nodded and he continued, "Have you thought about what we're going to do? We aren't the biggest, baddest Epics out there and I think we need to choose a side." Summoner said.

Smoky looked at him as she replied, "Dally," she began, using his nickname from before Calamity. She was the only person he allowed to do that. "CorpseMaker scares me. He's brutal and cruel." Summoner nodded and she continued, "I don't trust the new Empire we heard about. A necromancer is creepy and his matter manipulator sounds like she would try to steal the attention from me. I think the Thoughttown group is the best for us, hon." Summoner nodded. He had come to the same conclusion and was glad she agreed.

"I agree. Altermind is the one who seems most likely to keep this city together. Should we go now?" He asked. She smiled and kissed him in agreement. He started the car, revving the engine, and headed for Thoughttown.

[Voidus]

The twins were both stunned at the two girls' announcement, they barely even noticed when Backtrack crept up behind them and put his arms around them again, attempting only a half-hearted kick at his shins.
How can they be dressed like that if they're not Epics? MV thought maybe in the city where they could hide, but up here? In a flying museum full of Epics? How can they be crazy enough to draw attention to themselves?

She was startled out of her contemplation when her vision hazed over again, showing a scene of a man with a girl wearing a collar.
What the?
She watched as he gripped her, a manic look in his face and she began to feel sick.

"This gentleman's your main chance at decent company right now. So here's your choice: you come take a leisurely drive with me to The Dalles and back again, or you wait for him to come along and find a pair of matching collars." Backtrack whispered in her ear.

The combined sensation with the vision was almost too much for MV, she nearly hurled all over the two girls in front of her, settling instead for clasping her hands over her mouth as the blood drained from her face. She didn't even need to look at Impact to know that she'd seen the same thing and that their thoughts much as their appearance were identical.

"Get us out of here" they whispered back.
 

Jeff was about to interrupt the group of girls when Backtrack burst in and grabbed the twins.
Well I'll leave it to him then, now who's missing from this picture? Ah, of course, Nighthound again. He thought, having seen all the previous members of Lightwards' alliance already.

He strode through the crowd of Epics to seek him out.
Probably the least likely of all of them to be any kind of ally but I need to try, this needs to last, I won't let anything happen to her again.

He stopped briefly as he found Funtimes' tree of hats from the day before, one purple bowler still remaining upon it.
Well isn't that a coincidence. He grabbed the hat and replaced it on his head.
 

Soulswitch had flown around the area where Penumbra was based a dozen times, he'd found Refill and Zip with a crowd of other Epics, but Penumbra was nowhere to be seen.
What has he gone and done now? No matter how strong he may be teaming up with a schizophrenic might not have been the best idea after all.
He flew in wider and wider circles, eventually flying right under the flying museum, which now had a diamond ladder leading up to it.
Well maybe they'll be worth joining, can't hurt to take a look anyway.

He landed at the base and let his Raccoon scamper off his Griffin before taking his own body again, then tried something he'd been practicing for a while, he attempted to take control of both animals at the same time, it was incredibly difficult, like trying to look in two directions at once but eventually he managed it. Maintaining it for longer than a second was impossible but he'd discovered something even more useful, when his mind snapped back into the Raccoons body it took the griffin with it, the beasts body disappeared, stored in whatever space Soulswitch's own body went when he Jumped, this way he could observe covertly but if needed jump out of the Raccoon yet stay in the Griffins body instead of his own, allowing a quick exit from the museum.
 

Soulswitch scampered up the handy gem construct, silently thanking whoever had left it for him.

[Fatebreaker he/him]

Fade had been silently observing all that had transpired since they had arrived at the museum. His passive ability let him watch unobtrusively, and no one had noticed his presence. He had a pretty good idea of the different Epics and humans and a light sketch of their personalities. 

 

They were crazy. Every. Last. One.

 

But he could deal with crazy. Lightwards was quite predictable, ambitious and paranoid. But it was the Funtimes girl who didn't sit well with them. Something was wrong with that one. Very wrong. She hid it well, but he knew it would surface eventually. He just hoped he wasn't in the blast zone when it did.

 

It was time to look around.

[Edgedancer he/him]

Could a man surround himself with too many women? Not if they were all inferior or otherwise intimidated and suitably attractive. Nighthound decided to join the mostly female group of Goth-pet, hippy-pet, two deliciously frightened twins and the man that was most likely the cause for their current condition, it´s nice to finally meet a man with some semblance of style, gaudy glasses notwithstanding.

 

Ignoring the other Epics in his way he headed straight for the twins and their chaperon, savoring the hateful stares in his back. Whatever was wrong with them distracted them enough that they didn´t notice his approach, so he grabbed one of them by the chin, feeling her tense up and twisted her head towards his broad smile, “Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?”  

 

Getting a closer look on her he found them to be quite fine specimen, about half his age, just old enough to be of use and with a nice combination of blue eyes and blond hair, nothing worth keeping, given that from her expression they wouldn´t put up enough of a fight anyway, but maybe he should ask if he can borrow one for… well, she probably wouldn´t be in any condition to be returned anyway.

 

His quick musing was interrupted as his hand was ripped away by a familiar energy lance, small bits of blood splattering on the blonds face. His already leering smile got even wider as he turned around to Ray, “Darling, there is no need to get jealous, you still win any competition.”

                                                         

 

Lightwards response was slightly baffling, not that he treated her with polite contempt, in circles like theirs such was very much good manners, neither that he was still under the assumption of small power mongers to be able to keep an eye on every single minion, no it was his apparent belief that she was to be a part of his empire, when in reality she was the most powerful person in this museum, even without the support of the Epics back in her city.

 

She took a moment to ensure her composure, while the masses around her started to mingle with each other. As soon as she suspected the necromancer to be alone, concluded from the simple fact that the man he walked away with returned alone, Lucentia headed for him. On her way she replaced both her makeshift clothing and her arm with identical constructs of a light green. The black wasn´t suited for the occasion.

 

She found him, visibly agitated, further into the museum. With hands clasped behind her back she called out to him, keeping her voice in a tone that, at the very least, wasn´t antagonizing, “Emperor, on a word, shall we?”

[Kobold King he/him]

 

Lightwards was furious.

 

He began striding back up the jungle path in Backtrack's wake, quietly brooding. There was a part of him that whispered he'd been too harsh, that he'd overreacted to a small trifle.

 

There was another, slightly larger part of him that wanted to call the spineless little coward back and have Vincenzo the Allosaurus finish him off.

 

As he neared the Museum entrance, he caught sight of an irritated-seeming Lucentia walking towards him with her hands clasped behind her back. She had replaced the black beetle-carapace for a dress of shining green diamonds.

 

Now she looked like a praying mantis.

 

“Emperor," she was saying, "on a word, shall we?”

 

Lightwards spared her a brief glance as he walked by, passing her and heading to the Museum's front. "You can follow me," he informed her. "I have errands to run."

 

He found the five "toy soldiers" Nighthound had brought still kneeling in the dirt, streams of black mist trailing off of them. If nothing else, they were certainly loyal already. Now to see how they would fare as full Warriors.

 

Lightwards pulled out his pistol once more and fired into the first toy's face. There was a splatter of blood and grey matter as it fell onto its back, the black mist disappearing as the last life faded from its corpse. Each soldier received the same cleansing.

 

As he surged his miracle into each body in turn, he felt a wide smile stretching across his face. Oh, this is new.

 

The new toy Warriors stood at attention before him, their faces somehow surpassing the average zombie's dullness. Lightwards continued smiling as he looked them over. This... this was amazing. He felt a level of control over these creatures that was uncommon in his Warriors. Not even Claudius the vulture was so entirely under his command.

 

Salute, he thought sternly, fixing them with a stare. Instantly the toys crisply raised their hands in a broad salute.

 

Pick up your weapons. The toys bent to grasp the guns they'd been brought with before standing upright again, clutching them close.

 

Some of his anger faded into delight as he examined his new Warriors. They responded instantly to his thoughts, they showed no traces of original thought--why, he hadn't even felt a strain on his resurrection limit when he'd raised them.

 

I'm going to need a lot more of these, he thought hungrily. Feeling appeased, he turned to Lucentia, who was staring at him with a sour expression.

 

"You have control over diamonds, I presume?" Lightwards began. "Excellent. If you would be so kind as to help me down from this Museum, we can converse in earnest once we're on the ground."

 

 

 

    

 

"Get us out of here."

 

The girls looked terrified--MV in particular looked like she was about to throw up. Backtrack began to feel his confidence coming back to him. These were damsels in distress, and he was their knight in shining armor. He was like the hero in one of those movies he used to watch, ready to assure the fetching female lead he'd protect her at all costs.

 

Backtrack started to smile and hug the girls a little closer--

 

He stepped into view.

 

Nighthound strode straight up to them, a wide and manic grin upon his face. The twins stood petrified when they saw him, and the goth and hippie chicks stopped smiling at once. He saw the vanilla girls hurriedly excuse themselves and leave the gathering just as Nighthound's hand darted forward.

 

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?” Nighthound drawled. His hand clutched MV's chin and he angled her head forwards. The girl's body stood rigid, her eyes wide with shock and her lips trembling with fear.

 

Now's my chance, Backtrack thought to himself. This is the part where the hero punches the creep in the face and says "keep your paws off my girl..."

 

Backtrack felt a gradual realization: he wasn't the hero of this story. He froze as rigid as MV as he watched Nighthound pull her into a menacing embrace. 

 

He felt like he would have watched powerlessly if Nighthound had started dismembering the girl. He didn't feel like anything could have shaken him back to movement.

 

Apparently he was wrong. With a whizzing sound, a beam of energy shot through the air, blowing off Nighthound's hand in a burst of blood and black mist.

 

Nighthound let go of MV and whirled around on the girl in the dog collar. “Darling, there is no need to get jealous..." he drawled

 

Backtrack didn't wait to hear the rest. His hands and feet started moving of their own accord; he grabbed Impact and MV and started running towards the museum's exit with the girls dragging behind them.

 

They threw open the building's doors and stood at the very edge of the Museum. Behind them was a jungle with Nighthound and an angry necromancer--in front of them was a lethal drop to the Portland sidewalk.

 

"OK, OK," he found himself gibbering rapidly, holding onto the girls tightly. For once he wasn't holding them close because he was attracted to them; this time, he was simply too terrified to do anything but hold on tight.

 

"We need to get down, we need to get down," he kept repeating. "Can you get us down? Because we really need down right now."

 

He regained control of himself just long enough to look into MV's face. The girl looked just as terrified as he was, but she looked as if some thought was stirring in her brain. Her face was pale, contrasting with the drops of Nighthound's blood splattered over her cheek.

 

"We should get down now," Backtrack kept saying softly. He didn't like that creep's blood on her cheek, so he pulled out a handkerchief and started to wipe it off.

 

MV suddenly shot her hands out and shoved him backwards.

 

"Wait!" he cried suddenly. "What are you--"

 

With a scream of terror, he found himself stumbling further and further backwards. His feet ceased to touch the ground, and he found himself hurtling ever downwards towards the city below.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

 

CorpseMaker eyed Upgrade. A knife like man, who appeared defiant, yet intelligent. He was also very scared. He did a good job hiding it, but CorpseMaker had seen it enough to recognize it. “So Upgrade, What’s your power?”

 

“I enhance. I make Knives sharper, bullets faster, Epics, Stronger. While my hand is on you, All your limitations are gone. Completely.” Upgrade talked as if he were being accused of something. But his power, that could make a man great.

 

“Impressive. But I’d like a demonstration before I believe you.” he turned to where Streetwise was writing down what Altermind was saying. “Streetwise, get over here.”

 

Streetwise looked up. “What for?” He put his clipboard aside, still talking. “They’re just getting to the good stuff. revealing powers and what not.”

 

CorpseMaker gestured to Upgrade. “Do you remember when you told me to recruit upgrade? Well now he’s here. And you get to be the first to test him.”

 

Streetwise paled slightly, while glancing at Upgrade. “Ah, Sure. Ok. Let’s give it a go.” He reached out, and took hold of Upgrade’s arm.

 

He arched backwards, his jaw dropping, a pale light flooding out of his mouth and wide eyes. he held that pose for a couple of heartbeats before falling backwards, hitting the ground with a thump. CorpseMaker and Upgrade both stared in shock. A heartbeat later, Streetwise sat up, shaking his head and grinning. “Trancendance. I just learned that word. Along with every other word in every dictionary in the city. Give me a moment, I need to sort through this information.” He sat on the floor, looking down, mumbling to himself. Nearly a minute passed before he spoke again.

 

“Alright. Everything that happened in the city in the 4.7 seconds I was touching him, I know of. I know that Mundivore is bringing someone here, I know the location of every armed man in the city. I know the exact Location of the Museum, just due to it’s Shadow. I know where every informant in the city is. Gordon is still alive BTW. And that’s just the stuff I was looking for! I’ve already forgotten most of what I learned. That was, exhilarating. I memorized every book in the city! Course I flushed most of them. Boring things. Useless.”

CorpseMaker turned to look at Upgrade who looked a little awed as well. “You’re definitely Hired. Good job Electro. Take the rest of the day off.” He needed to plan some things, and run a few tests. This would greatly increase his chances.
 

[Edgedancer he/him]

"Errands" he says, at least that would get her away from the turmoil in this place. Setting her jaw she turned and watched as Lightwards executed and raised the soldiers her brother brought with him. Lucentia had no idea whether he just liked killing and resurrecting people or if there was something special about the toys but one way or another his mood seemed to improve, as his puppets danced.

 

"You have control over diamonds, I presume?" Fascinating, the capability to make obvious observation.  "Excellent. If you would be so kind as to help me down from this Museum, we can converse in earnest once we're on the ground." It seems like some kind of politeness finally came with his improved mood.

 

Lucentia strode forwards the pillar; she used to reach this place and waved Lightwards as she passed him, “Certainly, why, it almost sounds like it will be pleasant.” Once in the chamber atop the pillar Lucentia grew herself a throne of sapphire blue, facing the entrance and waited for Lightwards to follow.

                                                                              

 

Not a moment after Nighthound turned away from them shades ran away with the twins, why he didn´t just put some kind of marker on them if he didn´t want to share was beyond Nighthound´s comprehension.

 

Instead of bothering with giving chase he decided to give Ray the attention she wanted. Grabbing her collar he pulled her close and caressed her scarred ear with his healing hand. “What am I to do with you? Maybe we should-“As Nighthound leaned in closer the white fabric shot forward and cut of his approach. This as far as I can go then.

 

Not bothering to look at the white girl staring at him he moved the hand on Ray´s collar and slowly travelled down her body with a tender movement, oh the tensing he could feel. When he reached her tight, he pulled her closer, until their bodies where pressed against each other. He looked eyes with her, beautiful deep blue eyes, filled with hatred matching the fire of her hair. “Ray, do you know what our relationship needs?” He was stabbed. “That as well but I meant something new.” Nighthound said with a chuckle.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"I don't." Before Doctor Funtimes could call her a lying liar who lies, a cricket landed on her finger. "This is Hari. She doesn't know him either, but Traveller did, and Hari heard him talking about it. I believe it was in a threat, which was followed by some bargaining. It seems your sweetie is as clever as you are when it comes to defending himself. Here." 

 

Funtimes' squealed quietly as Saccharine offered her the cutest cricket ever. Hari was small and green and cricket-like in every way. That was what made crickets so cute—their spindly green legs and their little antennae and their big bug eyes—and Hari was no exception. Best of all, she had a name. "Hari," Funtimes repeated, giggling. "Hi there, Hari!" 

 

The cricket waved her antennae, drawing another delighted squeal. 

 

"I assure you she is harmless. Though for many of my other little friends I cannot say the same. This is not a threat you understand, I only wish to be friends. And I do not want to do any harm to your dear one either, as I hope you will say the same for mine." Saccharine gave a small wave toward Purple Phoenix. "I only want to be frank with you, in the hope that we can work together. I am a biochemist in need of a laboratory. I could plead with you now but that would be rather crass when we hardly know each other wouldn't it? So how about a cup of tea and some cookies? I have blueberry!"

 

There was quite a lot of information there, and Doctor Funtimes took a moment to process it all. 

 

First: Nathan. Nathan had defended himself. Not by punching—punching was for baby meaniefaces like Lightwards—but by talking. Her last boyfriend had only believed in talking as precursor to punching, but Nathan believed in talking as a precursor to threats, which she didn't have to fulfill if his talking worked. Amazing. She wished he had picked the name Doctor Awesomesauce for real so she could call him that all the time. 

 

B: Saccharine wanted to be friends. Yay! She had always wanted to be friends with someone who wore such a nice hat and had cute little animal friends. 

 

Next: Purple Phoenix was her dear one. Boyfriend? Husband? Something that made her call him "dear one." A small frown creased her face. His beard was still as amazing as ever, but it looked too much like that shadow buttface's beard. Penumbra. There might be two men in the same town with the same beard, and she would know after the beard-a-palooza, but the possibility nagged at her. He might be Penumbra, who was a meanie, which meant that Purple Phoenix was a meanie, which meant that she had saved the wrong person from a real meanie named Lightwards, and she—

 

Stay positive. 

 

The words came back to her again. Stay positive. Think positive. Think about positive things. Happy things. Don't think like the meaniefaces or you'll be a meanieface. (Meanieface. That was a fun word.) The voice from her past had never once taken that line of thinking that far, but that was what embellishments were for. Rhinestones on a nice T-shirt. 

 

She looked at Hari again. "Hari," she said, testing the name. "Hari, Hari, Hari." She giggled. It was as fun to say as the cricket was to look at. 

 

Fourth: Blueberry! She was still in the museum, though Funtimes couldn't see her. She liked Blueberry, who was as neat as the fruit she was named for. Saccharine had blueberry cookies, which she wanted to trade for talk about a laboratory. Funtimes liked that word, too. It conjured up nice images of science and learning and building fun things—and it was shortened to lab, which was the name of a dog. She liked labs just as much as she liked laboratories. 

 

E: Saccharine wanted Purple Phoenix safe. Maybe he was a meanieface, maybe not, but Saccharine wanted him safe. And she knew what it meant to want someone safe. Someone you loved, someone who might not be all that safe without you. Someone who could die if you turned your back for the second some meanieface wanted to take them out of the world. 

 

Funtimes grinned at Saccharine. "I like labs. And blueberries. And talking about labs and blueberries and blueberry labs and—" She cut herself off with a giggle at the thought of a lab in a lab dressed as Blueberry holding a blueberry. "Let's have a tea party." 

Aldo gave a low whistle. 

 

"So you're a negotiator as well as an actor now? You drive a hard bargain sir, but I think I have an offer. How 'bout a fair trade?"

 

That smile, that tone—Aldo might have used them both on an especially clever child. Together, they signaled what was next. "Tell me your story and I let you live. That's fair, wouldn't you say?" Only an Epic would call that fair, but only a moron would refuse. 

 

"A story for a story. You tell me how you came to be here, and I tell you how I came to be here. Tell me how you met Doctor Funtimes, and I tell you how I met the Tennessee Sibyl."

 

Nathan blinked in surprise. 

 

A story for a story. That's all? He thought it, nearly said it, and stopped. Whatever reason Aldo had for naming that as his price was unimportant. It was low, and it was fair. 

 

"Sounds like a deal," he said. "Care to go first, or should I?" Please, he silently pleaded, please go first. Nathan did not intend to spin a false story, as Aldo's power seemed to have something to do with lie detection. But if his plea to Aldo's vanity worked, he would have time to sanitize the real thing. The part where he was drugged and strapped to a table might give an Epic ideas. 

Edited September 29, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[TheSilverDragon he/him]

Wraith sat in an alley, hood up, thinking. He hated talking to other people, especially other Epics, but as things were a lone Epic was dead one it seemed like right now. If I don't join a team then my future might not be as pleasant as my past had been, he thought. But that did involve talking to someone.

Wraith had never been one to be the center of attention, the shadows were his preferred place. Just outside of everyone’s sight hiding, watching, observing. Even as an Epic he didn’t like to stand out. His plain black hoodie and jeans made everyone think he was normal. The twin knives strapped to his forearms and the gun on his thigh might make him suspicious, but then if anyone saw those it was already too late to hide.

Which side to join. Wraith thought. Corpsemaker, Lightward, or Altmind. Three very powerful Epics that you didn’t want to tick off. Well definitely not Corpsemaker, just the name alone would send anyone running, Wraith thought. That left Lightward or Altmind.

Well only one way to find out. Spy on both of them.

Wraith got up and walked towards the floating museum of death and life.

[Voidus]

Jeff spotted Nighthound at last but as soon as he'd noticed him the Epic brushed past him, walking back towards the girls.
Jeff spun in time to watch him grab one of the twins and then have one of his hands shot off by Ray.
He ran towards them, sending some of his power into his shadow to prepare a wall to interpose between Nighthound and the girls only to have a sheet of white cloth block him instead.
What in Calamity's name!?
Nighthound had been distracted long enough for the twins to escape with Backtrack, but they wouldn't be safe for long unless Nighthound was dealt with.
"What the hell do you think you're doing man! Surely even you can realize that's not appropriate behavior towards your new allies?"
This is not going to end well.

MV was still shaken by the vision, trying to get out, get away from the monster in the museum when he came right up to her, grabbing her face with his horrible hands, she didn't even hear him speak, only saw his mouth move as she fought the warring emotions within her.
Fear froze her, slowed her thoughts, made her want to shrink up into a ball and fall into oblivion but an almost equal amount of rage was writhing inside of her, compelling her to act, to get Impact to touch this man and send him hurtling out of the museum to be dashed upon the rocks below.

Fear won.

A bright lance shot across her vision, spearing his hand and splattering her face with blood, he turned away from her for a moment.
Run! Move! Do something! Anything!
The fear still had her completely paralyzed when a hand grasped her and yanked her to the side, Backtrack had saved them both.
The lesser of two creeps, maybe he's not so bad after all. Was her one confused thought.
They reached the entrance and Backtrack stopped, holding the twins against him and muttering to himself, clearly in little better condition than they were.
But getting down was going to be a problem.
Yes! A problem! Problems can be solved, focus on that!
Between them she and Impact could figure out some way to get down safely but they didn't have the time to plan together.
Risky way it is then.
She steeped out of Backtrack's grip and stepped up to him.
Then she pushed him off the edge of the museum, with a completely bewildered expression on his face.
She gripped Impact's hand in her own and they both jumped off the edge too, falling quickly down.

She took a coin out of her pocket and focused on Backtrack, shifting all of his current downwards momentum into the coin which instantly sped off, it's smaller size meant it traveled several times faster than the Epic had been.

He stalled in mid air, luckily her powers worked on an entire object at once unlike Impacts so it wasn't quite like hitting the ground, every particle of his body stopped at the same time.

He began falling again immediately but by then they'd caught up to him, she gripped one of his hands in hers just as they passed a startled raccoon climbing up the diamond tree, Impact grabbing the other.

Impact slowly gave them a push to the outskirts of the museum, she could slowly move things as long as she had continuous contact with them. They slowly flew away from the museum, heading towards the river just in case MV couldn't stop them in time, they'd at least have the water to cushion their fall.

The ground was approaching them rapidly and MV needed to pick a target, they were only a few stories above the ground when she saw a nearby tree. Seconds before they hit she shifted all of their combined momentum into the tree, which instantly collapsed as it tried to move into the ground.
They fell the last 6 feet, hitting the ground a little harder than she'd intended, knocking all of her wind out.
She lay there for a moment, two hands feeling warm in hers.
We're alive.
For now, that was all that mattered.

[Mrs. Voidus she/her]

 

"Let's have a tea party."  Cried Dr. Funtimes, who excitedly bounced up and down. 

Saccharine grinned. "And so we shall. Oh, and you can keep Hari if you wish," she offered. "We have had fun but she seems to like you." Don't you my little bubbykins? Yes you do! Yes you do!

 

"My dear, would you mind creating a table and chairs? I do so hate to sit on the floor."

 

Dr. Funtimes looked thrilled and clapped her hands, undoubtedly surprised that her tea party was happening right now. She concentrated and between the two appeared a table with sturdy stone legs, and matching chairs with thick wooden seats and a table top. 

 

"Most impressive!" Saccharine praised, as she pulled her various tablecloths, doilies, cups, saucers, sugar, tea,  cookies (all seven varieties) from her dress pockets and lay the table. 

 

"Think of all the bird cages and bunny huts you could create. You could make a bunny castle.... With carrot chandeliers!!" 

 

The tall woman seemed to become distracted in her excitable day dreaming for a moment before removing a collapseable billy from a back pocket, and set it over a tiny log. Then, hanging a small black kettle from the billy and filling it with water, Saccharine teleported from separate pouches Glycerine and Potassium Permanganate onto the log to create the exothermic reaction she knew would appear to be an epic's ability to create fire from nothing.

 

You never know how that charade might come in handy.

 

"Now then," Saccharine said cheerfully as she took a seat, gesturing for Dr. Funtimes to do the same. "Where do you find your inspiration?"

Edited September 30, 2014 by Mrs. Voidus

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Max listened as Gordon agreed to take him to the Reckoners. As Gordon went to go grab some files, Kyle led Max outside. He showed Max what could only be described exactly as Gordon had: a War Wagon. It was a large van covered in armored plates. There were no windows, but Max saw small cameras around the entire van. Kyle started up a motorbike that seemed to be, in fact it probably was, made for him exactly. It had two large automatic guns on the front and Max saw gravitonics as well. He whistled his appreciation.

Kyle tossed something at him and Max caught it. He looked at his hand and saw that Kyle had thrown him keys. "No way," Max said. Kyle nodded and a huge grin split Max's face. He jumped into the War Wagon and started it up. He saw that there were monitors where the windshield should've been that displayed the view from the cameras. He had a full 360 view without having to turn his head.

Gordon came out of the church as Max heard small explosions go off inside. Gordon three some files in the back seat and then hopped in the van. “Alright then, Drive us to the Powell’s. But first put this on. And this," Gordon said. He handed Max an earpiece and a loop of what looked like cat hair. “Kyle also has an Earpiece, If he remembered to grab it, we’ll be able to talk to him on the way over. Now, I need to make a call," Gordon continued.

"Woah, why do I need this?" Max said, holding up the hair bracelet. He had popped the earpiece in, but he didn't know why he would need a rusting cat hair bracelet.

As Gordon pulled out his mobile, he responded, "Let's just say it may protect you." Max realized it probably had something to do with some Epic. Gordon would know more than he did about that type of thing. He tied it on and then began to pull out behind Kyle when Gordon said, "Alright then. There may be a problem there. Let’s see how many Speed limits you can break on your way there.” Max grinned. A decked out van and a plan to speed? This day got better and better. He floored it and the van lurched back as it picked up speed.

As Max drove, he realized that there were some gravitonics on the War Wagon as well. When he sped around corners, they kept the van upright. Kyle took them to the airport. Max had never been to the airport before. He hadn't ever flown before Calamity, and since then, no one was able to. He had thought the airport was deserted, used by Epics only for raids. Apparently not so. He parked the van and hopped out, following Gordon inside. He kept a hand on his pistol. He wasn't going to go into an abandoned airport carelessly. He hadn't survived so long with Epics by being careless and he wasn't going to start now.

[Edgedancer he/him]

"What the hell do you think you're doing man! Surely even you can realize that's not appropriate behavior towards your new allies?" Someone interrupted from the side. Just when we were about to have a nice talk.

 

Annoyed, Nighthound, not letting go of Ray, turned his head towards the man and saw a familiar figure, wearing a purple bowler hat. Funny, from all the people that decided to call him out it was the insanly murderours beardo. “My, hello Penumbra, was it? Nice to see that you aren´t trying to kill Ray this time. Surely you can tell me how to treat new people right, should I have-“ He was cut short by an uppercut from Ray. She really does have a nice punch.