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Letter from Wax to Lessie [SoS Spoilers]

S. Stormy

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So for a book report, I could write a letter from one character to another. So I chose Wax to Lessie. At the end of Shadows of Self. I guess I like pain. My sort of idea for why the heck he'd write this is his therapist(yup those definitely exist on Scadrial) told him to. We were also supposed to include information from the plot of the book in the letter, so I've got some sad recounting of the prologue of AoL in there too, as well as a little context and a quote from the book for my poor teacher, who will probably be confused anyway. And some links to the Coppermind. So without further ado I present my work of agony:


Lessie Ladrian (It felt weird for her not to have a last name. And Vin became Vin Venture. So I figured, hey, why not?)

That One Place

The Beyond

343 PC (Post-Catacendre)



I’m sorry. 

I’ve killed you. I’ve killed you again. I guess you taught me too well, how to be a lawman. I caught you.  I didn’t know. I never knew it was you. You know that…

No. You can’t know that. I killed you. You’re dead.

I’m so sorry…

I thought I killed you, all that time ago. At least then it was an accident. 

The memory is engraved in me. He holds you in front of him, gagged. You look so pale… I have to shoot. Have to save you. 

And then blood drips from your head… It shouldn’t have been you. It was supposed to be him. 

But you didn’t die.

And yet you are dead. By my hand. Again.


I don’t think I’ll be able to forget this one. I managed to leave the first behind, painful, but not dragging me into a pit of agony.

But now…

I did it. I didn’t know it was you, but it was. It was, and I fired. I fired the spike* into you, dooming you. I’m sorry. Chasing you through those streets, I didn’t know. Couldn’t know you were the woman I love.

I still love you, even after it all. If it’s still love, when it’s for a dead woman.

You were Bleeder all along, and I was trying to kill you. I have killed you. You were a kandra all along, and I didn’t know. Now I do know. And I still loved you. As I realized it was you, I still loved you. Even knowing who you were and what you’d done. I loved you as you were dying from a bullet shot from my own gun.


I’m so sorry. Not that it matters.





*Author’s Note: She was a kandra(not human), things that are given sentience by two “Hemalurgic” spikes in them. Unfortunately, the spikes let the kandra be controlled by Harmony, a sort-of god. He’s a good guy, but he let Wax be traumatized by accidentally killing Lessie, and so she refused to be controlled by Harmony(I think that’s why) and pulled out one of her spikes, making her a little crazy(just a little) but preventing her from being controlled. Wax, not knowing it was Lessie and thinking she was just a crazy kandra that was attacking the city, shot her with a Hemalurgic bullet that didn’t kill her, but let her be controlled by Harmony. She uses a magic kandra thing to take her own life, considering that a better fate than being controlled. As she is dying, she says something only the two of them knew of, revealing that she was his true love all along. So technically, Wax didn’t kill her, but essentially he did.


“‘You’re… you’re as surprising as a… dancing donkey, Mister Cravat.’

Wax grew cold. ‘Where did you hear that? Who told you those words?’

‘I think I loved you even on that day,’ she said. ‘Lawman for hire. So ridiculous, but so… earnest. You didn’t try to shelter me, but seemed so eager to impress…. A lord with a purpose.’

‘Who told you of that day, Bleeder?’ Wax demanded. ‘Who…’

‘Ask Harmony,’ she said, the trembling growing more violent. ‘Ask him, Wax! Ask him why he sent a kandra to watch over you, all those years ago. Ask him if he knew I would come to love you!’


‘He moved us, even then!’ she whispered. ‘I refused. I wouldn’t manipulate you into returning back to Elendel. You loved it out there. I wouldn’t bring you back, just to become his pawn…’

‘Lessie?’ Harmony, it was her.

It was her.

‘Ask him… Wax,’ she said. ‘Ask him… why… if he knows everything… he’d let you kill me….’ She grew still.

‘Lessie?’ Wax said. ‘Lessie!’

She was gone.”


Oh, Brandon Sanderson really likes causing his fans pain.


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