Snorkel Posted March 17, 2022 Posted March 17, 2022 Quote And he dis so, Quote It was difficult to maintain a properly brooding air after an encounter with the Akane. Quote Don’t even ask about how she regarded calling a someone by their first name Quote I’ll admit to some pride regarding way Painter’s eyes. . . Quote She added a scoop soak up the rest of the broth, Quote But he suddenly, Painter found himself unnaturally tired.
Mat he/him Posted March 17, 2022 Posted March 17, 2022 Quote At the perimeter of the city, just in front of the shroud,, Painter folded his arms, confident. This was his realm. Here, he was the lone hunter. The solitary wanderer. The man who prowled the endless dark, unafraid of— (Double comma)
AndrolGenhald Posted March 17, 2022 Posted March 17, 2022 (edited) Quote separate parts—thought they’d come from the same spirit Quote It fill the nooks of the soul Edited March 17, 2022 by AndrolGenhald
AquaRegia he/him Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) Chapter 2 Quote “Warden-nimi,” Yumi said, gathering her courage. “The Festival of Reveals. It is near.” Not sure... but "Revels" would make more sense. Chapter 3 Quote Then he shifted his bag to his back, feeling the weight of canvases and ink jar inside. Should be "jars" plural, I'm guessing. Quote That fear was layered well beneath callouses of experience now. Callous is an adjective; the noun is "calluses". Quote Then, with a sound very much like a sigh, it dispursed ... "dispersed" Chapter 5 Quote And give me voluptuous curves, because they remind me of a graphed cosign. It's "cosine". Chapter 5 and 7 Quote whisps of darkness curling off the stone ... the dark whisps seemed to vanish Could be an intentional "alternate" spelling, but "wisp" is standard. Chapter 7 Quote what it might have been, if it hasn’t been produced by terror. Edited March 23, 2022 by AquaRegia
AndrolGenhald Posted March 19, 2022 Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) Quote ... looking a little like an series of overly large ... Quote ... have to wait another year or more for another yoki-hijo ... Repeated another sounds weird. Quote As I said, I said I owned the restaurant. Not sure if that repeat is intentional or not. Edited March 19, 2022 by AndrolGenhald
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