THE INSANITY BOOK

IT SEEKS ME

IN THE DARK HALLS

THE DARK HALLS!!

I CANNOT ESCAPE!

Who can fully understand a person and all their nuances? No one, yet my soul is inscribed on the book of insanity. 
:3

You are now a sentient awakened object :3

this sucks

life

this situation 

What?

just... something

but it's stressful and stupid

and i don't like it

If it’s too private to mention details, why mention it in the first place?

i have a month and a half left to get my grades up to As and Bs when they’re Cs and a B. That sucks, cause i also want to have an existennce outside of homework

idk, sometimes we just have to tough it out. Best advice i can give at this point

because idk.. whatever

sigh okay yes.

it's just that these things happen times multiple

Hmmm… sorry to hear about that. 
ill pray you find the strength to face whatever it is

yes..

I'll be fine..

doesn't make hell any better 

any my legs are probably red from scratching them a lot

i can feel the redness

1 minute ago, Through The Living Girl said:

yes..

I'll be fine..

doesn't make hell any better 

 

any my legs are probably red from scratching them a lot

i can feel the redness

Stoppit

*no*
*extra no*

is it literally you’re fidgeting scratching that much

are you okay?

1 minute ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Stoppit

*no*
*extra no*

is it literally you’re fidgeting scratching that much

are you okay?

I'm not doing it anymore but i was i was so tense but I'm slightly better but tense

it's more very stressed "fidgeting"

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

I'm not doing it anymore but i was i was so tense but I'm slightly better but tense

Like, work stress or smt?

i need to probably get back to work, keep an eye on this in the background 

no

not work stress

other stress

people

stressful situation 

i wrote a poem about a similar one a few weeks ago

ugh and what's maybe worse is when it just goes back to normal 

6 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

no

not work stress

other stress

people

  Reveal hidden contents

arguments

  Reveal hidden contents

stuff

 

 

stressful situation 

 

i wrote a poem about a similar one a few weeks ago

 

ugh and what's maybe worse is when it just goes back to normal 

Why idk

Do you enjoy or ever experience catharsis 

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Why idk

Do you enjoy or ever experience catharsis 

Idk i guess

it just sucks

maybe i shouldn't dwell on it

act like them and ignore it

pretend like im happy

fake it till you make it

pretend they didn't make we want to get the hell out of dodge and just sleep ok the cold street or something. would've been fun to.

ive been gritting/grinding my teeth more

i never really did it

and when i hold my phone i scratch my fingers with the other fingers

you think im just blowing this up to be something it isn't? getting so ... feeling so crappy and then whatever?

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

Idk i guess

 

it just sucks

 

maybe i shouldn't dwell on it

act like them and ignore it

pretend like im happy

fake it till you make it

pretend they didn't make we want to get the hell out of dodge and just sleep ok the cold street or something. would've been fun to.

if catharsis sucks, you haven’t experienced it. Its sorrow and hope and knowing yourself

sometimes it is all we have to fake happiness until we feel something. That doesn’t mean we hide our pain, but we don’t give into it. 

Uh TW very depression no suicide or SH tho

1 minute ago, Through The Living Grass said:

if catharsis sucks, you haven’t experienced it. Its sorrow and hope and knowing yourself

sometimes it is all we have to fake happiness until we feel something. That doesn’t mean we hide our pain, but we don’t give into it. 

Uh TW very depression no suicide or SH tho

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I have spent multiple nights thrown out of the house, sitting somewhere near my neighborhood waiting for my dad to fall asleep so i can sneak back to my own bed

so, i understand. And im sorry people you know or love feel that way. It hurts.

 

i didn't say catharsis sucks

just this. life sometimes.

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

i didn't say catharsis sucks

just this. life sometimes.

 

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it's not necessarily that it's like that.

sorry. I'm probably making this sound like something it isn't, but it still just sucks.

 

Hmmm… i must write a song or poem or something about life, and how it sucks

this will not fix anything in my life, but maybe it will help.

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Hmmm… i must write a song or poem or something about life, and how it sucks

this will not fix anything in my life, but maybe it will help.

yes true

at least you're moving out soon, right?

that's a hope

Just now, Through The Living Girl said:

yes true

at least you're moving out soon, right?

that's a hope

Hmmm that is a highly likely option

however it does not come without consequences, i would be highly offline if i did so.

what’s also seeming likely is i will be part of an electrical engineering apprenticeship at my local community college over the summer, then continue at that college from home afterwards 

All paths give and take

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

Hmmm that is a highly likely option

however it does not come without consequences, i would be highly offline if i did so.

what’s also seeming likely is i will be part of an electrical engineering apprenticeship at my local community college over the summer, then continue at that college from home afterwards 

All paths give and take

why offline? college blocks shard? ez fix: cellular data

anyway... have a good life.

hope u do well

and enjoy yourself

you know @Through The Living Grass I love being out in the cold night/evening air... if only i could stay there longer before entering the unwelcome heat again..

7 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

why offline? college blocks shard? ez fix: cellular data

anyway... have a good life.

hope u do well

and enjoy yourself

 

you know @Through The Living Grass I love being out in the cold night/evening air... if only i could stay there longer before entering the unwelcome heat again..

No uh my two options are:

1- reputable gap year program where i earn college credits at basically christian camp except i live there and no screens 6/7 dotw

2- stay at home and go to community college

me too, i scare myself sometimes with how far i walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and hum and sing and scream at like midnight when its cool and quiet and beautiful and the stars watch me like guardian angels and the moon lights the world and i actually feel emotions for once and night is so much better than day

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

No uh my two options are:

1- reputable gap year program where i earn college credits at basically christian camp except i live there and no screens 6/7 dotw

2- stay at home and go to community college

me too, i scare myself sometimes with how far i walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and hum and sing and scream at like midnight when its cool and quiet and beautiful and the stars watch me like guardian angels and the moon lights the world and i actually feel emotions for once and night is so much better than day

I wish I could do that more.

It's basically heaven.

I love it.

That's probably part of why I stay up so late sometimes; I love the night.

I love when I go outside after being in hell and it's so cool and refreshing

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Girl said:

I wish I could do that more.

It's basically heaven.

I love it.

That's probably part of why I stay up so late sometimes; I love the night.

I love when I go outside after being in hell and it's so cool and refreshing

There’s a sense of freedom, wonder, control over where you get to go and the world doesn’t acknowledge your existence. No expectations, no shame, just a reprise for a few sweet hours.