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The radio flickered to life.

"Hello all, and welcome back to The Longest Thread- Misadventures™! As always, my name is Bacon the Bard, here to fill you in on all the plots, tangents, and absolute nonsense that you missed out on!

I'm happy to announce the return of @NameIess to the Thread! Last episode (circa pg. 2847), we at TLT-M™ were still in the dark regarding his extended leave of absence; however, he has since announced it was a temporary break due to illness and school. As a Narrator, I've never been either, but I can only imagine it being awful! In any event, the Bravest Expeditioners may yet get their chance to save the world.

But that plot has only just begun to ramp back into gear; much of the action this past fifty pages or so has been focused firmly on the group I have been traveling with. (Any accusations indicting me of 'leadership behavior' are completely and utterly unfounded.) We've slain our enemies and discovered new ones. We've discovered new and exotic locations. We've experienced deeply emotional flashbacks. (Okay, maybe I wasn't part of that last one.) All this and more on this week's episode of The Longest Thread!

First, some of our more minor plot threads.

When Tull, Ista, and Erif escape from unreal space, Tull is immediately beset upon by Madness. The inspector quickly blocks Madness's communication, and after inquiring about the nature of Ista's emotion gods, explains that he can only help Tull if he remains in Onyx's realm.

Meanwhile Erif demands to know more about his world's situation. The inspector explains that Erif's world was meant as a sanctuary from the chaos of TLT- but shortly after its creation, it suffered a spontaneous loss of time coinciding with a withdrawal from Onyx. He attempted to keep time flowing, but was only able to keep it looping the same day repeatedly. Eventually, when Erif tried to destroy the time loop, he instead caused it to collapse into a single frozen moment.

Erif is stunned by this realization. However, he is soon interrupted. Ista bombards the inspector and the guide with questions in an attempt to get through to Onyx, and accidentally incurs his wrath. With that, the destroyer appears. Since his last appearance on the thread, he appears to have merged the mass of souls fused with the fragment of the plotblade Unity with his own horde of reanimated skeletons. He fights against Ista, who flees and forms a defensive position. After a few minutes of back and forth fighting, Ista pulls rage from the destroyer. The destroyer retreats into the earth, but the rage Ista drew from him remains, taking on a life of its own. Ista holds it in check for the moment thanks to her connections to Mirth and Intellect, but the anger remains... waiting. The inspector warns her against using the anger for power, but she dismisses his concerns. 

Ista inquires as to what can be done about Erif's world and Tull's loss of Narration, but without access to Onyx, the inspector cannot help. Ista decides to try to find Onyx's castle and confront him directly, and seeks out Sequence for directions.

Next, Sequence.

Having delivered Tull and Erif to Onyx's realm, Sequence retreats to her own private world. She find me (a clone, that is) lamenting the absence of a piano. We have a brief chat, and I conjure a piano to do some playing. (A friendly reminder to all that Onyx is NOT older than Sequence, he most definitely does NOT have a secret backstory, and you should ignore anyone who says otherwise.) Hacob also shows up for a bit, because he's bored. We learn a little bit about my unimportant backstory, and Sequence reminisces about tower-building in Onyx's castle.

Sequence shows me a small world that she has created whose inhabitants are involved in violent religious war (on her behalf, whether she likes it or not). She discusses tactics with me before deciding to reset the world entirely and let it play out without any involvement at all.

Shortly thereafter, the Brave Adventurer shows up to present his case to Sequence. Their conversation is interrupted by the appearance of Erif and Ista. Erif remains despondent as he explains the situation, but Sequence eventually convinces him to at least try. She offers Everyone as a guide, and the group sets off for Onyx's castle (followed by the Brave Adventurer, who has his own reason for visiting my fellow Narrator.) After a brief insectoid conflict, the group arrives at the entry point and slips into unreal space.

Next, the return of Falvan- (as well as some more of our Brave Adventurers!)

As the OA portals Subversion, Nogard, and Selppaenip out of his pocket dimension, the group arrives on an remote beach. Waiting for them is Falvan, who appears to be preparing for some kind of ritual. Arranis is also there, watching. (A character named Desolation may or may not also have shown up. Canon is unclear.) The group takes a defensive stand, but Falvan easily overpowers them, preventing them from escaping. He threatens to kill them all, but doesn't end up killing anyone. Instead, he drains their power, and - using the Once-Author's authority - ascends to Narratorhood. The OA is also able to retake Authorhood in this moment, using his Authorblade against his former character, Ryss, and vanishing from the story.

Nogard, Selppaenip, and Subversion are left alone, without any method of transportation available to them. Subversion does wake up at last, however, heralding the return of @NameIess. Subversion assures Nogard that she is fully recovered and explains to him what a Ghanderflaffle is.

Conveniently, a meteor of portal stone lands nearby, enabling the group to travel to where they need to go.

Next, the battlefield.

In the aftermath, the Great Wizard has been captured by the Brave Adventurers. TP and Gail attempt to rescue him from their clutches, but end up surrounded. Hacob speaks to the General requesting to converse with the Great Wizard before he is imprisoned, but what the end result of their deal will be remains in doubt.

I make a potato for @Vyzkel and Jilu turns it red. Unfortunately, he has yet to make an appearance. One day!

And finally, the Buffet Crew.

When we last left them, Shoe was preparing to undertake the Trial of Truth. He enters a large room, where a voice speaks to him and tells him to reveal his deepest fear. He replies with the fear of responsibility- that if he had just done more, all the terrible things that have happened around him could have been prevented. A mirror-shadow version of himself shows up and attempts to inflict emotional damage. Shoe has an emotional moment, and successfully passes the trial.

Shoe and Beosta have a brief conversation. It is heartfelt, but Shoe seems to be hiding something further. Beosta accepts his unwillingness to talk on the subject, and they hug.

Quagmire officially agrees to help the group face Ciara, and we set off, with Shoe in a noticeably better mood.

The group teleports directly to the entrance to Ciara's base. Once there, we enter pigeon mode, with the hope that we will be able to sneak Tam out with Ciara being none the wiser.

We find Tam quickly, and Quagmire breaks the curse keeping Tam trapped. The group flees for the entrance, but before they can escape, they are caught by Ciara!

Quagmire engages Ciara in combat, and an epic Enuller-on-Enuller battle ensues. In the end, Quagmire spears Ciara with a chaotic-dark weapon, and she dies. (I attempt to save her soul, but whether or not I succeed remains a mystery...)

After our fight, we discover the origin of Shoe's Bottomless Muffin Bag™ (Tam made it for him!) Beosta requests we take a journey to the Eternal Mountains for some personal business of hers. Quagmire redeems his favor in the form of joining our party permanently. Cricket hears the voice of his mysterious pursuer in his head, so we depart at once.

We travel to the Eternal Mountains and find it a place resistant to Narration. Despite this, we are quickly able to locate the caravan that Beosta needs to find. We converse briefly with the owner, and Beosta reveals that the reason she came here was related to the mysterious sphere that she obtained from the old woman. (Remember that?) The sphere contains the soul of someone she wishes to bring back to life, and the price of obtaining it was to buy the location of a man named Zeddikar from this salesman. He offers it to her at the price of her backstory, and she accepts. They make the trade, but the exact contents of the memory are not revealed.

Shoe also has a certain memory of his retrieved in order to show his sister, but we don't see that one either. With our business concluded, we discuss what to do next. Beosta plans to continue with her CD, and doesn't expect us to accompany her- but, of course, we all do. Tam freaks Beosta out with a spider, but Beosta forgives her. (A couple of rock people show up named Tem and Hem. Whether or not they will be relevant remains to be seen.)

We teleport back to the city park so Beosta can give the old lady the map, an avalanche of pineapples attacks, and I teleport everyone to my castle to plan what to do next.

At my castle, the group meets the final member of my trio: Tomato the Tarantula! Tomato, who is an avid follower of this podcast, is overjoyed to meet her heroes and sample their delicious muffins. (Speaking of which, I should ask for one myself.)

We are interrupted, however, by the sudden attack of Bat, a resident of the Eternal Mountains. He injects Shoe with some sort of anti-Narration ink, and then steals Beosta's sphere. Cricket and I attempt to follow him to recover it, but am foiled by a bunker formed of Nullite. While I'm away doing that, Beosta and Shoe have an emotional moment wherein Beosta reveals information about her backstory. She shares a traumatic memory where she kills for the first time (a pig, not a human) and reveals that she was the one to kill the soul stolen by Bat (in what manner is not revealed). Shoe comforts her.

It is at this point that I show up in the Baconator, my battle mech. Shortly thereafter, the other two Narrators in the party (Natsu and Tam) show up with their own mechs. Cricket gets his own mech as well (after a brief mishap getting turned into one. Sorry, Cricket) and a new, mech-armored character named Tenth Square appears. With our powers combined, we prepare to make an assault on Bat's stronghold and recover Beosta's sphere.

As we prepare to leave, Shoe begins to feel slightly strange. (Whether or not that will develop into anything remains to be seen.)

And thus our episode draws to a close, with more questions than ever. Will Ista discover what event caused Onyx to retreat from the world? Will Sequence take the side of the Brave Adventurers against the Bravest Expeditioners?  Will we be able to recover Beosta's lost soul from the clutches of Bat? With all that has happened, could the twin Plotblades be on the verge of discovery? Find answers to all these questions and more in the next episode of The Longest Thread- Misadventures™! Thank you all for listening, and have a good night.

Please direct all concerns, complaints, and/or corrections to @xinoehp512.