Use hemelurgy to become a bendalloy ferring. Then use the ability only to binge eat and throw away the metalminds. Bonus points if done durring a famine. Extra bonus points if you are starving to death.
I actually don't love the alcatraz series as much as his other books. The sarcastic first person narritive is not something I usually like. However, it is still definitely worth reading, and is quite funny.