I say these words under no specified order, just as an oath overall:
I will not be hesitant to try and be a better person- even if it makes me look worse to others.
"Well.... you see...
During the Great Bagel War of 2027 C.E., Ketek and I saved Waffleland from Bagels. We utilized me being a Shardknife. Lots of cream cheese ensued. The end."
JEW EAT BAGEL! NOM NOM INDEED