Through the Living Wrath

Not rlly, sometimes when im depressed and i sleep less im less depressed cause my brain no work.

also 

YAY

I deliberately take a night off of sleeping every now and then. Like, only a couple times a year - can't do it too often, not any more (I'm ooooooold haha). But I have my best, happiest, most productive days when I've stayed up into the wee hours of the morning the night before, enjoying the quiet solitude of the night, reading or doing projects or whatever, and only gotten a few hours of sleep at most.

I choose this on purpose and do it for self care; and because I've chosen to embrace it and do it deliberately, I can throw off the guilty thoughts of "I should be better than this, I should be at least trying to sleep, I should be..." and actually relax into it and enjoy it.
"I should be..." No. No I should not. I have figured out how I function best, I am listening to my body, and I am making choices that result in me doing well. And when I do it too much, and I start feeling worse, I listen to my body again and let myself sleep, and then I actually get real sleep, real natural sleep, and don't spend hours trying to fall asleep, tossing and turning.

I did this a couple night ago actually, and have been ruminating on how it's an interesting thing, because in some ways it flies in the face of what everyone says about taking care of yourself, but in other ways, it lines up perfectly well.