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Just-A-Stick

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Just-A-Stick last won the day on April 11

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About Just-A-Stick

  • Birthday January 22

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  • Member Title
    My Jesus is SO COOL!!
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    With @SmilingPanda19 and @Part of The Narative in our Walmart dumpster
  • Interests
    hi :)
    i love jesus, thrifting, and reading
    i'm an amateur potter, sort of broke, a student, an artist, a child of God, a poet, a choir kid, a lover of nature and a huger of people and trees.
    i'm a bit quirky but its okay because i was made exactly how i was supposed to be made, and i'm learning to love who i am in Christ!
    please feel free to PM me to hear my testimony, ask questions, hear encouragement, or genuinely just talk to me
    (i'm one of those rare people-loving introverts <3)

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  1. Just-A-Stick

    I wish I could post something good for Father's Day, but this is all I have.

     

    Dad...

    Spoiler

    Dad…

     
    I don’t know who you are.
    I don’t know if I ever did.
    We have wounds that maybe
    You don’t know about.
    But I do.
    I see them.
    I feel them.
    I’m still here.
     
    I don’t understand you.
    I don’t begin to understand.
    You don’t know what you did,
    Do you?
    I tried to tell you, but you
    Probably don’t remember that
    Either.
     
    When will you learn
    That I am not
    Who my brother is?
    That I actually hear
    What you’re yelling.
    I don’t need your heavy hand.
    I wish I could talk to you.
    But I can’t.
     
    I’ve had enough of your
    Fake apologies.
    Enough of your “serious talks”.
    More than enough comparisons.
     
    I don’t know you!
    You’re leaving.
    Again.
    What is this?
    I know it’s not my fault.
    I know it’s yours.
    But why couldn’t you
    Just
    Do
    Better?
     
    Maybe mom forgave you,
    But I don’t know if I can.
     
    You left so many times.
    You weren’t there for me
    When I was little.
    Maybe, what you don’t realize,
    Is that I saw things.
    I heard things.
     
    Maybe you thought you hid that,
    But I saw it.
    You abandoned me.
    You should know that you can’t
    Rely on Ty to be the bigger person!
    So where does that leave us?!
    When Mom is sobbing
    Where she thinks nobody sees,
    When Ty is in a yelling match
    With you,
    When the younger ones
    Are crying because they’re scared,
    I am the one.
     
    I’m the one who has to be
    Brave.
    The comforter.
    “Everything is going to be okay.”
    Just repeating,
    Over and over as it happens
    Again and again.
     
    Where were you?!
     
    You didn’t just hurt Mom.
    You hurt me.
    You hurt Ty.
    You hurt the younger ones.
     
    I’m done with those empty
    Apologies.
    Done with those stupid
    Words you toss around
    Like garbage.
     
    I don’t need your compliments.
    I don’t need you to try and
    Micromanage my life.
    You don’t know anything about me!
    You try to help and you wipe out
    My only confidence.
     
    I have other fathers.
    I don’t trust you.
    I don’t believe your words.
    Good, or bad.
     
    You’re a ghost to me.
    Someone who flickers
    In and out,
    Twisting thoughts and words,
    Until everything is a mess.
     
    Dad…
    I don’t know you.
    You’re a stranger.
    One who’s leaving.
     
    And all I have to say, is
    Goodbye.
     
    ~ Stick 6-15-24

     

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