Canada Lover

"Oh boy. So, the names Ezrium. I was raised by my parents, who were then forced into this psychopathic game show called the hunger games where you have to kill each other to survive, and they were both killed by Eddie. Then, I was forced to grow up with no friends or anything, all alone, no relatives or anything, and well, it went well. Until I got chosen for the hunger games, got thrown in, and almost died. So I met this dude, named Komadori, really nice, (until he tried to kill me, but that's later). We stayed in a cave because of a really bad storm. So then some guy tripped off of a cliff and died named Oradin, so that was one tribute down. Then, apparently, some Flylf and Sage teamed up on this chill guy named..." they couldn't hear him say the name over some random loud noise. "So he was just a boss and survived. So next, some Amyra Ay girl killed some guy named Aekolohanar for no reason, so yeah. Then, we were all assigned people to kill in order to survive. So I got assigned some Kelni guy, who was Sharp's squire, who very conveniently was Komadori's person too! So we went and searched for them, but couldn't find them. Then we met up with Sage. Meanwhile, at the perpendicularity, (you don't want to know), Ninddle and some other guy, Rolen, teamed up and killed Ryn because he was Ninddle's person. So next, Sage went out all solo-eagle and killed Flylf for no reason, and proceeded to almost died to Ninddle and Rayan. But, he escaped somehow, probably because of some kid named Cassian. So Cassian was this 12-year-old who was definitely spoiled, but everyone loved him. So while everyone was obsessing over some child, me, Komadori, and Sage met up. Meanwhile, after the kid incident, Red sacrificed himself to be better or something for the child, not really sure...? So we saw Rolen trying to kill Bob for absolutely no reason, and Sage almost joined in, but I said this awesome line like 'What quarrel do you have with Bob?' or something killer like that. So then, we attack Rolen, and Komadori and Amyra Ay, I believe joined in. Then Cthaelth joined in to help Rolen for no particular reason, and Komadori ended her. Then Komadori went mad, trying to kill me, and Sage ended him. So then, me and Sage escaped. Meanwhile, Kaa... and Rolen were fighting for no particular reason. I found Kelni, gained his item I wouldn't die, and Sharp and Rayan killed each other. Almost simultaneously, Rolen killed Kaa..., (or not?) and Amyra Ay killed Wren. Some random person named Fentdalk toh Vralstim then died to monsters shortly after. So then Cassian was put in the games and Sage died to some weird midnight essence crap. Shortly afterwards, Cassian, using his flower power killed the midnight essence, and then his father was brought in. Eddie killed his father, Amyra Ay and Bob then both sacrificed themselves. After that, me and Ninddle fought. He fought valiantly, better than I did, and stabbed me in the eye slit. I won though, and I got to go to dinner with Eddie! I then proceeded to get thrown in jail for no reason! Maybe it was because I tried to murder her? I dunno. She was doing some weird creepy voodoo magic crap on the child, so I tried to help him. Hopefully he doesn't become a gamemaker someday and like, be all a mommy boy. So then I started randomly teleporting around the multiverse, yes that exists, and I assume I ended up here? I didn't know who I was earlier when jumping. Now, I do regain my memory, but with a little help," he gestured to the jar. "So, anything else you want to know? I can twist my consciousness back into the form that you knew me as, was it Luna, you said?"

"I'm not an idiot."

"I KNEW IT! You were calling me an idiot!"

"Well... um... as you knew me, probably. Fine, you want to know who I am? Short story, or loooooong story?"

"Oh yeah, and I feel like Aster was secretly calling me an idiot in her thoughts, and would probably say it outloud if the opportunity came up."

Skyboi was sad now. They wanted to hug their new friend Xi.

"So, me and Sage were just there, you didn't really seem to care. You were having troubles with your flame or something, I wasn't really paying attention. You and Lilyanna then got into a fight, you were like 'get out!' So they left, then your mother came in. She talked to you, you said stuff about her not really being your mother, you seemed rather flustered, I might add. Then, she did some psycho crap on you, said something about changing your memories, and put you in a cocoon. And then me and Sage were still there and you fell asleep. Then some thing came and sliced it open. So then Lilyanna and Aster came in, and were like 'OH MY GOODNESS WHAT HAPPENED!' And then I tried waking you up with a bucket of cold ice, but it didn't work. Then you woke up, and you didn't have any mommy issues anymore and you were in love with Lilyanna and some Charles idiot and Aster felt awkward and got mad at me for no reason. Then, Lilyanna fell asleep and almost killed me, and YOU LIT ON FIRE. Then, I started trying to go to sleep on the cold hard floor looking depressed because I have no friends, unless you count Sage who I met like 18 hours ago. Then you just curled onto the floor with your amnesia problems and you hot a hug and I was still on the floor alone."

Ezrium stood there, very clearly noticing he was being ignored, and was sad.

Skyboi attempted to give Xi a hug, hoping she would become physical.

Luna attempted to squirm, but was unable to, as they were completely frozen.

A person shows up with their entire armed forces of Emus. Fred sees Emus in space ships fly over. They see someone riding an Emu with a laser on the Emu's head. The Emu snatches the sandwich and runs off. Protecting the Emu with the sandwich is more Emus, along with large Beavers with Rifles. The Emus brought out the Emu cannon, ready for war.

I know.

"Hello there,"

"Oh no, not this again. Time travel, oh joy."

Skyboi looked at Xiylna and waved.

The person looked exactly like Luna, making them think it actually was Luna, just a little bit older.

"Oh, there you are Ruio!"

Suddenly, Brandon Sanderson appeared to Elan. "Get your free books!" He was handing out free signed copies of his new exclusive book that you couldn't find anywhere else. A mysterious person who looked uncannily like Luna, but older turned a corner. They stole the crystalline rod. Then, they took Jar Man's bottle of the mysterious substance out of Melody's hands and proceeded to... drink it., but leaving enough for Nameless. @TheRavenHasLanded

Canada was also searching for Ruio. @[Redacted]

Ezrium had no idea what was going on. He felt awkwardly put of place. So he simply crouched in the corner, watching the pair.

Someone appeared in front of you. They knock you out, and steal the sandwich. They then teleport and put the sandwich on the highest mountain in the lands. In Canada. They also gather everyone at a birthday party. Then they eat a fake sandwich, but it looked so real everyone thought it was real.

Elan saw a stray book on the floor. It was The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. Unfortunately for him, the book was open so he could see the Brandon Sanderson signature very clearly.