Edgar was smiling. He liked watching her draw, the concentration on her face. But she probably didn’t want him there right then. He tried to pretend he wasn’t there at all.
“I think we all need to ready some more after today,” he said. He wanted to hold her, but he didn’t, for a multitude of reasons. She wasn’t safe with him. He would probably hurt her somehow. And after that conversation…it would probably just be weird.
“Being useless. Being unable to help, causing harm where you most want to heal. Being the one that drags everyone down, all the time. Being the one who have others die for him.”
*many, many hugs*
Keep going, please. It’s worth it, I promise, and I know it’s hard right now and it’s hard to feel hope, but there is some. Keep that dream alive.
He smiled as she moved closer, happy to be with her. Everything was working out.
You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve her. You don’t deserve to be feeling this way. You shouldn’t be. You should be hurting.
He released her, bowing his head. He couldn’t be happy. It wasn’t right.
“Thank you, for listening to me. Because this is one thing that I know I’m right about.” He smiled at her. “There’s another thing I know I’m right about.” He blushed.
He didn’t let go of her. “I promise I will. But I want you to know, this voice, it isn’t you. It might be speaking to you, affecting you, but it isn’t who you are.” He held her gaze.
He tried to catch her gaze. “You can’t hurt me, or at least not badly.” Unless you leave. “Don’t worry about that, please. And this voice, it doesn’t change you, not who you are, because you don’t listen to it. It doesn’t control you.”