Kaurne

This is the first Theory I have made, so feel free to rip it to pieces. This is partially based on the idea here: and thanks to Observer for that idea. My idea is a bit broader, however, which is why I think it belongs here rather than in the Mistborn forum. I'm sure some of it (or maybe all of it) has been posted before; if so, please inform me and I'll delete the thread. - - - The Theory of Cognitive Immortality The Cognitive realm is described in The Emperor's Soul thusly: 'The Cognitive is how an object is viewed and how it views itself'. It has been confirmed by Brandon that Kelsier is hanging around on the Cognitive Realm rather than moving on to the afterlife. My Theory is that individuals who make a significant change to the cognitive aspect of people on their world gain a sort of 'tether' in the Cognitive Realm that allows them to resist moving on to the afterlife. In this regard, Kelsier is quite unique. On Scadrial, his founding of a religion centred around himself (Survivorism) and focusing on a set of beliefs and idea he held in high regard, and the subsequent veneration of him as the 'face' (if you will) of these ideals by the adherents of the religion who uphold them, led to him creating a strong Cognitive imprint upon Scadrial. This is what allows him to stay on the Cognitive Realm before moving on to the afterlife. This ability to be tethered to the Cognitive Realm is rarer than you would think; in fact, it is astonishly rare; while there are a great deal of famous and well known individuals, it is rare for an individual to significantly alter the way people view themselves and the world, to a significant enough degree and among a significant enough number of people, to gain such a tether. I also theorise that said tether doesn't prevent you from moving on to the afterlife, it simply allows you to choose not to. This would make it extremely rare for anyone to stay tethered to the Cognitive Realm; not only do few people develop such a tether, most who do move on. It's only because of Kelsier's specific personality (him being a meddling, nosy little git) that he's still around. Now, I'm going to go into some Cosmere theorising here. I think it's been confirmed by Brandon that people make a pit stop in the Cognitive Realm before heading to the afterlife; at least, it's implied by one of the epigraphs from tWoK, which involves someone describing Shadesmar. So, perhaps this 'imprint' isn't an absolute; everyone makes one, each of a different size. The size of your imprint determines how long you can stay in the Cognitive Realm before you are swept on to the afterlife. For most people, this is only a brief time. For certain individuals who dramatically influence people, it is longer. There are two ways this could go. One is that the size of the imprint you made gives you an absolute limit on the amount of time you can stay; Kelsier made a massive imprint, so he can stick around for centuries. Most people don't even make a big enough imprint to stick around for more than a few seconds. The other is that your imprint sticks around, almost always shrinking as the effect you had on people's thoughts is slowly reduced. Once your imprint disappears, you are compelled to move on. Kelsier's imprint, through Survivorism, is still going strong; his beliefs and ideals still affect how people on Scadrial see the world, so he can stick around. This raises the question of how most people don't spend too long in the Cognitive Realm when you would expect even the average person to have some mileage to their imprint. There are four ways I can see this being answered. The first is that most people really don't affect the way others think significantly; combine this with them dying (which, may make people think of them and their ideals less) and they don't make an impact. This doesn't seem right to me. The second is that there is a certain minimum imprint needed; but that is kind of similar to the first idea two paragraphs back. The third is that msot people, bewildered by what is happening, just move on. While possible, I don't think it that likely; I'd expect a lot of people die still determined to live on. Still, I think it is partially an explaination; a lot of people making big Cognitive impacts, such as religious founders, great scientists or whatever, probably aren't the kind of people who want to stick around a keep meddling. Finally, the fourth way,m which I like the most. Namely, that such changes in people's cognitive aspect have to be deliberate; you have had to gone about deliberately attempting to change the way people think. This means that most of the ways humans affect the thoughts of others are gone. Kelsier was rare in that he, for good or ill, was deliberately trying to change the way thousands, perhaps millions, of people thought about themselves and each other. It was that that gave him such a strong Cognitive imprint, which allowed him to stick around. As an aside, this is probably related to how the Returned function. I hypothesize that the nature of Endowment on Nalthis makes, for unknown reasons, making such a Cognitive impact easier; or perhaps only a small Cognitive imprint is needed and can then, using the current 'Breath' as an attractor (hence why drabs cannot become Returned), be filled with the divine Breath of Endowment that makes them reach the Fifth Heightening. However, this Breath may only be attracted to certain individuals who fulfil an additional, as yet unknown criteria, which balances out the ease of Returning and offers an explaination for why some return and others do not (I need to re-read Warbreaker before I hypothesise further). - - - Obviously, this theory still has some kinks to work out. Any thoughts?

Interesting theory. I think it's certainly possible; we've seen something kind of similar before, with those in Arelon being particularly devoted to something becoming Elantrians. Still, I'm not sure why it would happen with Kelsier... Maybe it's not the deed as such, but the recognition of it? Kind of linked to the theory in the link you posted, heroic, world changing deeds, like those of Kelsiers, kind of create a cognitive imprint upon the world, as Kelsier forever changes the way that Scandrialians view both each other and themselves. That imprint tethers him to the world; he becomes tied up in Scadrial's Cognitive aspect. Presumably he could move on if he wished to - the Lord Ruler probably did, after all - but doesn't care for it; he likes meddling too much. Or perhaps, the nature of his 'imprinting' on the world, being focused around one idea, 'survive' (which is linked to ideas like 'remain' 'hold on' etc) means that he actually can't move on, but doesn't care because he'd choose to stay anyway if he had the choice. As an aside, am I the only one who'd love to read a story simply about Sazed's, Marsh's and Kelsier's interactions in the Cognitive Realm. I can just imagine Sazed and Marsh getting slowly more frustrated at Kelsier just refusing to stay dead and interfering with everything, except Sazed wants to leave him alone and Marsh wants his brother to go to the afterlife already. I think that would be pretty funny, personally; a comedy short, like 'I hate dragons'?

Okay, I feel this has probably been posted before, but on the off chance it hasn't, I'd like to make a contribution. Simply put, I'm pretty sure why Cultivation has a better ability at seeing the future than Honor. Cultivation is an inherently long-term idea. The idea of nurturing something (such as a plant) requires you to think ahead, to plan for things. In the example I used, a cultivator must take into account what the weather is likely to be like, the other plants around the plant, whether it will need more or less water etc; not only are you required to think ahead, but cultivation occurs over regularly long periods of time; you have a goal in mind when you start. Honor, on the other hand, is inherently short term. The whole idea of 'journey before destination' requires one to consider only what is happening now. It doesn't matter what your end goal is, it's about your individual actions in getting to that goal, which are considered in and off themselves. Considering what is best 'in the long term' for everyone usually leads to actions that are inherently against Honor's nature, though not necessarily wrong; Honor isn't necessarily good by any means, just better and nicer than Odium). So logically, Cultivation is long-term focused and Honor short-term focused. Hence, Cultivation can see the future better. Again, sorry if this has already been posted.

My most humble apologies for the thread necromancy. I'd like to ask firstly if anyone has a link to the hints from Brandon that each god metal has 32 alloys, because that just shot down an idea of mine. If each god metal has 16 alloys, we have 16 'normal' metals, 16 lerasium alloys, 16 atium alloys, and the two god metals. That's 50, or (10^2)/2, which is certainly a much rounder number than what we get if we have two alloys a piece, and fits (loosely) into the number 10 link. Hell, some things do appear to run on 5's (number of Biochromatic entities, number of Knights Radiant oaths) so it fits decently. Two alloys apiece gives us 16 'normal' metals, 32 lerasium alloys, 32 atium alloys, and 2 god metals, which is 82 metals. A really annoying number. [NOTE: This is where my wild theorising with no basis in anything one might call evidence begins.] But wait! Let us say that there is a hypothetical alloy of lerasium and atium that does... something (hey, maybe it makes you a feruchemist ) and that it can be alloyed with all 16 of the 'normal' metals, (perhaps to make them ferings? Hell, this actually makes a little sense) then we get 99 metals. That's really close. Really, really close, and I've got the feeling I'm missing something. Maybe this is where the 'final metal' born by the men of red and gold, (as described by Miles in AoL) comes in. Problem is, I've no idea what it could be; we've kind of run out of things to do with our 18 initial metals. I've also no idea what it could do; I have a loose theory about what the lerasatium alloys do, and we're reasonably confident that lerasium alloys make people mistings, but beyond that we haven't a clue, although that does benefit us in the sense that if we need to come up with 47 new powers, 48 doesn't make much of a difference. That isn't counting, of course, that lerasium (and presumably its alloys) have a different, 'primary', function to the one we've seen. Anyone have any ideas? If we can bring things up to a nice round 100 metals then suddenly everything fits a LOT better.

I'm in some ways really good and some ways really bad. For example: -I've read tWoK SEVEN TIMES and the first time I thought Shallan had a Shardblade was when I read this thread. Make of that what you will. -I noticed Kaladins magic very early - not the first time it's hinted, but still early. -You know the 'Child of Tanavast. Child of honor. Child of one long since departed' bit? I knew the first time I read that that Honors Shardholder was dead. Part of that was because that was the last bit I read one night before I went to bed, and I simply couldn't get it out of my head for some reason. And so I started thinking about it. I thought Tanavast sounded weird to have a name there, thought they might refer to the same thing, and I had it.

Can we apply that to Surgebinding? Physical actions in accordance with Honor (protecting people, in Kaladin's case) -> Cognitive link (acceptance of Honor, devotion to ideals, maybe even oaths?) -> Spiritual access of Honor's power -> Cognitive use of Will to Surgebind (subconscious or conscious utterance of oaths?) -> physical effect (Lashings etc) The cognitive aspect seems to be the weak link in the chain here... although that may be because we don't know enough about how Surgebinding works. Wait a second. Honor is dead. Or rather, Tanavast is. But let's think about that for a second. He can't be dead in the spiritual sense, because the Shards are fundamental forces of the universe. His physical body is almost certainly still around - it may even be Stormlight. So what is the bit that is dead? His mind. The mind of the human (we think) Tanavast, was the part conclusively destroyed by Odium. So maybe there is a bit of uncertainty about the Cognitive part of the Surgebinding chain because Honor currently lacks a cognitive aspect. Though that does raise the question of what Surgebinding would be like if Honor got another cognitive aspect again. Would it be more defined? Would it be easier to access? Would it be easier to make the links between Honorable actions and the spiritual power of honor, so more people understand about the importance of Honor? Hey, maybe the reason the world of Roshar is so violent is because the cognitive aspect of Odium is still pervading the minds of people, while Honor doesn't have a cognitive aspect to counter his influence, Yin and Yang style. But now I'm getting off topic...

I just had an image of Sazed and Kelsier in a bar playing pool in the place beyond, periodically turning to a TV, where they watch what is happening in AoL. On a more serious note, I agree. Isn't the third Mistborn series meant to involve space-travel? That sounds a possible place - maybe Kelsier could get reincarnated as one of the AlloFerroCosmonauts? I'd also love to learn more about the religions which we get glimpses of in AoL - not just Survivorism and Pathism, but all the others as well.

Well, in the flashback with the two Knights Radiant, the woman does use 'Three Gods' as a curse, which implies that not only were all three known about but also that they formed part of a religion. And no, I don't think Odium is known by the time of tWoK - the Voidbringers are 'the Enemy'. And Cultivation is only mentioned once, in the final vision, but She is probably still known about in Shinovar.

I would note the difference between the use of 'ruled' and 'reigned'. In my native Britain, the Queen reigns but does not rule, as she has no real power. Given that Honor was probably splintered, but now is worshiped pretty much across Roshar as the Almighty, then he 'reigns' over Roshar, considering he is seen as the ruler of the world, but does not rule it anymore as he has no power, due to being splintered. Given that it is likely Odium is actually coming to Roshar for the True Desolation (as opposed to already being there, as that would probably cause the destruction seen in Dalinars visions) then The Broken One is probably Honor, not Odium

You wouldn't necessarily need FTL travel. Just lots of Cadmium and Pulsers. Does anyone know if the the spacefarers will be refugees from Scandrial or if they will be explorers? I like the idea of explorers finding new worlds and new magic systems. Hey, maybe Hoid could get stranded aboard the spaceship?

Like 5AM said, I don't think Regrowth is a surge. To me it sounds more like the term 'Lashing'. If we try and forget what we already know about Windrunning, would you consider 'Lashing' as a natural force? No. If you were told that it was a name for manipulating a natural force in a certain way, you may well eventually decide the force being referred to is gravity. In the same way, I think the Regrowth is just a name for one specific application of a specific form of surgebinding. Perhaps it is from a fabrial (it would certainly be good sense to bring along a fabrial to heal if you can't do it yourself) and perhaps not. As for the idea about it being a way of reapplying the stormlight healing, then that would be, with respect, somewhat unimportant. I strongly doubt it is something that can be done by any order of Knights Radiant - otherwise the other Knight there would have been doing it. As such, it must be the application of a surge available to two of the orders, either Soulcasting or some other Surge. Thus, whether it is an acceleration of Stormlight healing or some other form of healing, then it is still one way of utilising a surge. I still think it likely represents the surge of life, or perhaps healing? or growth. Considering the other surges aren't exactly all scientific forces, I don't see why life can't be a surge.

Okay, didn't know that. That leaves us with: -Gravity -Pressure -Travel -Tansformation -Whatever regrowth is Could The Skywatchers hold both gravity and travel?

I just remembered that according to the legends of the Knights Radiant, they were also able to fly and teleport. The second one, is I believe, backed up by some stories of how a historical figure (Nohadon?) traveled a huge distance in a tiny amount of time. So let's link this in with what we know about the Knights. There were 10 orders, each of whom controlled two surges. Assuming that a surge can be used by multiple orders, then we have a minimum of 5 different surges to control, and the maximum of 20. However, the power of flight sounds like another manipulation of Gravity - something Windrunners already do. Thus, we can presume that the Windrunners were one of the gravity orders, and this unnamed flying order (Skywalkers? Skywatchers? Skyrulers?) is another. Thus, at least some of the surges are repeated. Here, I'm going to use my argument from neatness again - namely, that Brandons magic systems always fit together neatly - if they don't appear to, that's because we don't understand them properly. Thus, a theory in which the parts are neat, have equal numbers etc is inherently more credible than a theory where the numbers do not match up or where things are not neat, with all other evidence being equal. If Some surges are used twice, it seems neater to have all of them used twice rather than some used once and some twice. Note that here I am not taking into account a surge could be used three times, because that just makes things bloody complicated. Thus, we would be looking at 5 surges between the 10 Knights Radiant. So far, gravity and pressure appear to be the ones confirmed - at least, those are the two that the Coppermind says Windrunners hold. Gravity is backed up by the talk of flying. Beyond this, we have guesswork. Teleportation (assuming it actually is a power) would probably have space, or motion, as it's surge. Soulcasting, which is confirmed as a form of Surgebinding, probably has either transformation or matter as its Surge. Finally, we have Regrowth, which may well be a form of time-surge or it may be a kind of life or healing surge In the first two, I'm now more inclined to go with motion and transformation, simply because they sound like forces rather than building blocks of the universe. Then again, if the regrowth is a time-surge, then it makes more sense for the teleportation to be a space surge, because of link between space and time. So we either have space, time and matter/transformation (though the latter seems a bit of a poor fit). Or we have motion, life/healing (the first sounds better) and matter/transformation (in which case the former seems a bit of a poor fit) in addition to gravity and pressure. That means in the first book, there are enough hints to give all 5 surges and thus the surge combinations of all 10 orders This assumes we have only 5 surges, though. Any more and everything goes up in the air, since as far as I know there are no more hints in tWoK on other surges, so there are some surges we have no idea about. This is all guesswork and really big leaps of logic from offhand details in the story, so feel free to tear it to shreds. But I personally like the idea of having all 5 surges handed to us in the first novel, just hidden.

Sorry. Maybe I am misunderstanding Brandon. I thought that what he meant by a 'conflux' book involved two magic systems mixing and combining, creating new forms of magic rather than where a character or characters from one world with one magic system go to another world or encounter another magic system (which may be a problem if a particularly honourable Twinborn arrived on Roshar - the right combination would make them a combat monster).

First, perhaps I have a dirty mind, but that first sentence sounded REALLY wrong. It makes it sound like Odium killed Honor out of romantic rivalry. I mean, can Shards even have sex, considering they leave their bodies behind? That would be really weird. Anyway, I know that the 16 is mainly due to their being 16 Shards. The point I was trying to make is that there is probably a link between the 10 core worlds and the appearance of the number 10 in the Stormlight Archive, and each name on the Shadesmar map corresponds to a core Shardworld. I was simply saying that if there are more worlds with no Shards, then why not have just 6 more, to make everything fit nicely? In fact, that could mean that each Shard was originally meant to have just one world of their own.

Interesting - thus a 'regrowth' is just their way of labeling on possible use of their time powers? Seems odd they would have a specific name for such a use, but I'll allow it. The one issue I have with that is the source of the energy. Stormlight is presumably what would fuel it if it was Surgebinding. But healing a wound would require an energy input into the body - we get it through food to heal wounds naturally. Your explanation implies that the energy from the Stormlight goes into both speeding up time and providing the energy for the healing to occur, which would be kind of strange - not to mention not really fitting with their 'time' powers. Though if that was occurring, it would explain why they have a specific name for it. On a related note, anyone have any idea about the Dustbringers, and why certain areas 'smoldered' after they did their job? The 'bringers' implies that they are a type of Voidbringer, and the way that Kalak says 'they did their job well' sounds more like talking of an enemy than an ally. Still, we can't get rid of the possibility this is another Order of the Knights Radiant, and they control another surge. So what surge would this be? Heat?

I understand the point you were making about combinations of Shards. The point I was trying to make is that it would fit together awkwardly. If we accept that Surgebinding is the Honor-only one of the seven, and that we have Voidbinding as either the Odium one or the Honor-Odium mix, then that still means that two of our 7 combinations using up 20 of the 30 systems. This means that the remaining 5 combinations have 10 magic systems between them, and I find it unlikely they would be divided into even 2's. My point is that if we use your theory, the different combinations have different numbers of magic systems withing them, all on the same world. There doesn't appear to be precedent for that in Brandon's other novels. Excepting god metals and their alloys, the same 16 metals are used for Allomancy and Feruchemy on Scadrial, and there is no reason to believe that Hemalurgy doesn't have the same number. Using your ideas, it would be a bit like Allomancy and Hemalurgy having 16 metals each to use, but Feruchemy only having 5, or some other unprecedented number. It just wouldn't fit together as well. However, I will accept that it is strange that there may not be any combination of magic. Happyman says that might only be because Ruin and Preservation were such perfect opposites, and thus they created a middle ground magic system, but that doesn't hold up with other Word of Brandon. He has mentioned the possibility of having a conflux book, where different magic systems meet. The very fact he has mentioned it as a possibility indicates that there is no reason it would not happen if two Shards met. If so, then why have Honor and Odium and Cultivation not created combos? To say nothing of what happened on Sel, although we know far too little about how the AonDor, the Dakhor, and the mystic martial art of which I cannot remember the name actually work, not to mention the way Aona and Skai, or the Seons and Skaze function, to be sure. There are two theories I can think of. The first is that somehow, Aona and Skai being splintered is interfering with them making combo systems. If Honor was splintered too, then that can be explained as well, but we know too little about Cultivation to explain that. Actually, that raises a very interesting point - do we know Odium hasn't got Cultivation yet? Considering the only word we have about her is from Honor's diary, which was recorded a long time ago, she may well have been splintered as well - although that begs the question of why Odium hasn't destroyed Roshar already if there are no other Shards there. Anyway, my second theory is that the combo systems only occur when the Shards first meet. Thus, the combo systems were around in the distant past, but have been forgotten about now that, for want of a better term, the Shards have 'settled down' on their respective worlds. It is not the presence of two Shards that causes combined systems, but rather these two shards meeting. This would fit with what Brandon said about conflux books. The one problem with this is that it does not explain Feruchemy. Perhaps this comes back to Happyman's explanation about the Ruin/Preservation dichotomy - that the way Ruin and Preservation are so opposed mean that there is permanently a combo system in place. Anyone have any other explanations?

In fact, that '10 levels of Voidbinding' snippet supports my argument. If the Voidbringers are related to Odium (pretty much confirmed) then Voidbinding could easily be Odium's magic system, in which case he could be considered to have 10 magic systems. Remember that the Word of Brandon I was referencing mentioned that there were 30 magic systems depending on how you look at it. Thus, You could see each individual type of Surgebinding as it's own magic system (since we have seen that Windrunning and Soulcasting have their own rule systems) or you could see Surgebinding as a whole as one magic system. Thus, the 30 figure is based on the interpretation that each is different. Personally, If he said the exact figure of '30' then there must be a reason for that. Your idea about there being 7 combinations doesn't fit numbers wise. Seven doesn't fit into the Stormlight Archive or the Cosmere as a whole in any meaningful way. 10 does fit into the Stormlight Archive (and may fit into the Cosmere as a whole, given there are 10 core Shardworlds) and 3 certainly fits into the Stormlight Archive, given that there are 3 Shards on Roshar. The simple thing is, your idea isn't neat. Brandon's magic systems are all very rule based - when there is ambiguity or things don't fit together, that indicates we don't understand the rules properly - rules which are subsequently revealed in later books. If there are seven magic 'archetypes' on Roshar, then the magic system would need to be divided along somewhat arbitrary lines. It just doesn't seem to fit with Brandons' style, to be honest.

I was rereading tWoK and suddenly remembered a snippet of WordofBrandon from before tWoK came out. This was (as far as I can remember it) something along the lines of 'Depending on how you interpret it, there will be up to 30 magic systems in the Stormlight Archive'. When I noticed this, I thought about that number. It seems an oddly specific number to give - if there are that many, he could have just said 'several dozen' or some other vague number to convey the sense that there will be lots of magic systems (hell, he could have just said 'lots'). Now the first thing I did was subdivide 30 the most obvious way - into 3 and 10. Where have we seen those numbers before? 10, of course, plays a huge role on Roshar, and there were 10 orders of Knights Radiant and presumably 10 forms of Surgebinding. Yet the number 10 also seems to play a role on Roshar independent of simply the Knights and Surgebinding (and thus Honor). And of course, there are three Shards on Roshar - Honor, Cultivation and Odium. So would it not make sense for each of the Shards on Roshar to have 10 magic systems of their own (assuming that we count all forms of Surgebinding as different). This makes so much sense to me that I can't see any arguments against it. Though this does raise another intriguing question. I just read Featherwriter's thread about Honor being shattered like Adonalsium, and I thought Honor being shattered into 10 explained why the number 10 appeared so often in tWoK. But now, it appears that the number 10 is more connected to the fundamental workings of the Cosmere - for example, the 10 Core Shardworlds that Brandon recently mentioned. Interesting, no?

Brandon has said that while some shards are opposed to each other, none are as strong as the Ruin/Preservation dichotomy. The way I saw it was thus: Honor binds men together, Odium forces them apart. Devotion unites through choice, Dominion unites through force. (Remember that one of the names suspected for Aona's Shard was 'Unity') Also, didn't the map of Shadesmar have 10 different named areas on it? Maybe these correspond with the 10 core Shardworlds. In fact, maybe there are 16 worlds in total, the 10 Cores (which explains the repetition of the number 10 in the Cosmere) and 16 in total, which explains the way 16 reappears all the time.

For point 2, it's been argued that they are Elantrians, members of the Seventeenth Shard. Given their presence (including of a Dula, who may be Galladon) in one of the interludes looking for Hoid, then this is basically confirmed. As for the fourth point, I'm reminded of the fact that Amaram knows of the Ghostbloods, based on Chapter 51. That is probably another Chekhov's Gun.

In one of Dalinar's flashbacks, we see him take the position of an ordinary man when monsters attack during a storm. He is saved by two Knights Radiant. One of them using a power on him called a 'Regrowth' in order to help him recover from his wounds. Now, as far as I can remember, Brandon referred to surges by saying they were what we would call natural forces. This is supported by how Kaladin and Szeth can manipulate gravity, and how Soulcasting (confirmed as a form of Surgebinding) could be considered control over matter (which is a bit of stretch saying it is a natural force, but that's the best idea I can come up with). The thing is, can healing really be considered a natural force? The closest I can come is the suggestion life itself is a natural force for the purposes of defining 'surges', but that still seems a much greater stretch than Soulcasting being matter. However, we do know that 'Cultivation' is another shard on Roshar. Now, I personally made a link between the terms 'Regrowth' and 'Cultivation'. Regrowth is usually a term used for plants, as is Cultivation - they are rarely applied to animals. Could it be possible the Knights Radiant had some power granted from Cultivation, as well as from Honor?

Wrote another one: The dead lord watches with soulless eyes empty. Through soulless eyes, watched by the Lord of Death. What do you guys think?

Just a tangent, but has anyone tried writing a ketek? I haven't really tried but it appears to be really really hard. Maybe there should be a Ketek writing competition. Also, I wonder if the part titles in the rest of the books will form a ketek. If they do, then Brandon Sanderson should apply to be Poet Laureate. EDIT: This is the best I can come up with. Singer and song are technically different nouns, but close enough. I'm not sure it divides into 5 precisely, and the full stop cuts it in half and makes it feel disjointed, but its the best I can come up with on short notice. The despairing singer watches his love – silently watches. Love, the song of despair. DOUBLE EDIT: Slightly improved in my opinion, but none of the problems is actually removed. What do you guys think is the better one? The despairing singer watches his love – silently loving. Watching, and singing of despair.