Through the Living Hope

Aventine kept walking away - away from the rift, away from Thaidakar and Quinn, away from everyone she didn't want to die. It hurt her inside, but she knew/thought it was best for them. She put her hands in her jacket; her clothes had gone back to normal when she went through the rift. The zinc chain from Waylen was in one of them, as was Alston's handkerchief. She could feel the alters in her head again. They were all telling her to go back, and she kept ignoring them. They may have been her from other universes, but they weren't her. They didn't understand, not fully. When she wouldn't listen to their words, they began to pull her to sleep, which she resisted as well. At least, she tried to. That resistance didn't last long. *** She glared at the bathroom door. She was, in her head, in her room in the Clinic. This was where she had made her first connection there, when Jar Man had stopped her from drowning herself. The hole was still in the door. 25 sat next to her, not saying a word. A general air of support and affection came from her presence, but Aventine was trying to block it out. Sass was pacing the floor nearby. Akarui sat in the bathroom with some sort of mechanical rig. She had bulky headphones over her ears. Tena leaned against the doorframe that connected her room to the hallway. Other alters she didn't know were scattered around, some with looks of disappointment and others with looks of sympathy. "Go back," Eliane said. She was the only alter who didn't seem disappointed or stressed about her choice - she only looked angry. She lounged in the beanbag chair, staring right at Aventine. "This isn't helping anyone." "It is," Aventine argued. "If I go back, people die. I'm the only constant, I'm the problem. I need to remove myself from the equati-" "You are such a hypocrite!" Eliane rose to her feet, her voice getting louder. The other alters looked at her, and Akarui yelled from the bathroom, "Be quiet! The connection's spotty!" Eliane started mumbling, then kept scolding Ave at a slightly quieter volume. "First, you tell Addison that she's not a problem, and that her leaving in one way or another will only hurt people." "That's different." "Is it now? Well, I see no difference. You're both idiots." Aventine's eye twitched. "Too far, Li," 25 said. Eliane's eyes softened, but only slightly and for a moment. "Sorry. But you guys know I'm right. You two both thought yourselves problems when no one else thought you were. You can't remove a problem where there isn't one." "I'm not going back." "Oh, you're going back." Eliane crossed her arms. "Whether you like it or not." "Not. And you can't make me." Eliane glared. "We'll see about that." She lunged towards Aventine. *** Static filled Akarui's ears. Just because this rig worked didn't mean it worked well. Telepathy was an interesting thing. Once a connection was made with someone the first time, it was easier to recreate every time after. Tracing Elan's mind, she was able to make a connection, but due to the nature of the Void, it was extremely unstable and kept cutting out. "E-an? Ca- -ou h-r m-?" @Ancient Elantrian *** Eliane held Aventine off the ground by her arms, which she'd pinned behind her back. Aventine tried to thrash against her, but she wasn't letting her go. The other alters had scrambled away at Li's first sign of aggression. "I CAN'T GO BACK!" "You have to! More people will be hurt by you leaving than you staying!" "You're wrong! You're all wrong!" She quickly bashed her head backwards, and Eliane cried out in pain, releasing her. Aventine looked back at her. Her hand was over her nose, and blood seeped through her fingers. "Cut it out. Both of you." Aventine turned towards the new speaker. "Ava?" The future version of herself looked back at her. "I know how much you don't want to go back. Trust me, I've been there. I was you, once." "I didn't forget." "You say that, and yet you ignore the fact that I am also telling you to go back. If you don't..." She shook her head. "This decision will haunt you forever." "You... You're the future me. You didn't go back. So I don't." "I'm a future you." Ava stepped forward at put her hands on Aventine's shoulders. "And there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret this decision." Ava wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "You don't want to do this. You will always look back on it as the biggest mistake in your life." Aventine's arms stayed by her sides. "But if I go back, won't you cease to exist?" "You'd think so, but not necessarily. You'll still be able to reach me. I will still exist, if in another world in another timeline. But you will not become me. I will be a 'what if' that you never quite reach. And trust me, you don't want to." Aventine pulled away from Ava. All of the alters were staring at her (glaring, in Eliane's case, from behind her bleeding nose). She whispered, "I can't." There was a moment of silence, no speech and no movement. Then 25 moved first. She looked into Aventine's eyes and wrapped her in a hug. "You won't do it alone." All - well, most - of the alters moved similarly and joined in the hug. Li put her free hand on Aventine's shoulder, Onnami watched from where she leaned against the wall, and Akarui was still doing... whatever she was doing. "Will you go back?" 25 asked. Aventine wrapped her arms around 25, and a tear ran down her face. "I will." She lied on the ground quite a ways away from Quinn and Thaidakar's fight. @Cash67

Daniel Thrasher has a YT vid “happy birthday in every key at once”

236. Sing the happy birthday song

She smiled for a moment, then glanced at Thaidakar. If he cared to look, he would see pain and desperation in her face. Then she turned once again and continued walking away. @Thaidakar the Ghostblood

She opened her hand and looked at the pill that sat in her palm. “Farewell, Quinn.”

She caught it, but put the hand that did back by her side. “And what do you think makes me able to trust you?” Not waiting for a response, she turned and kept walking.

“Yes. No. I don’t-“ She put her hands over her face and breathed. ”Honestly?” She pulled her hands down. “I’d be thrilled.”

"I'm not trying to die, nor do I think I'm going to soon. But let me put it more into perspective." She held up one finger. "Elan. I cared about him. He was just killed." She held up another. "Waylen. I cared about him. When I ran away, he was killed." She held up a third. The image Quinn had seen before of the man stabbed in the back with a knife. "Alston." She nearly choked on the name she hadn't spoken in six years. "I cared about him. When he chose to get engaged to me, he was killed." "It's like I'm cursed. If I care about you, you get killed. End of story." She looked back at Quinn. "I don't want to die. But I don't want anyone else to either. That's why I have to leave. It's not even a choice."

"No, it wouldn't be. Because I'd care about people. And then they'd be killed. Everyone I care about seems to be killed. And I'm the only constant. I can't go back." She walked away from Quinn.

"I wasn't trying to- I gave up on that a couple days ago. But if I'm in the Clinic, people there will be put in danger because of me, because I'll let myself care about them. The Clinic was the closest place to home I ever had. I didn't come here to interfere. "I came here to disappear."

"LET GO OF ME!"

Your fault. Well... the rift opened. It might not be exactly what I wanted, but... it's still a way out. Willing the dagger to not open a portal, she carved a message into the wall. She could only hope Pic would find it. Before she could change her mind, she walked through the rift. @Cash67

“(Darn)it! Why won’t you work right?” She pulled it out of the wall.

“I tried to warn you.” She yanked her arm away from him and ran another direction. She lost herself in a crowd, never wanting to be found. Not by someone she cared about, anyway. She summoned the dagger key. It barely existed here. Jabbing the wall, she willed it to take her to wherever Thaidakar was. She would either die there, or find a way to be alone. She didn’t want it. But everyone else needed it. @Thaidakar the Ghostblood

*mutters* That was one time…

She knew the way his magic worked. But her panic response wasn’t to make noise- it was to make herself as small and quiet as humanly possible. But. That wouldn’t do anything. She made herself sing. Her voice wavered. Is another person I care about… This is my fault. I should have known better. This is what happens when you become part of someone’s life. You destroy it. Her singing stopped completely, giving way to sobs.

Aaaah crud this is going to be horrible. I’m straight… Kiss Elan, Marry Pic, Abstain from doing anything on Lundyn

… yeah good point

I figured out a Mario medley by ear on violin… if I find time to record it later can I put it here?

Lady Aventine Erikell is a former Rioter/Lerasium Mistborn I rp in the Insanity Clinic. She has a lot of trauma, most of which comes from her abusive and drug addicted father and his dealer. Absolutely Absolutely

She wrapped one arm around his back. He felt that she was shaking a little.

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Do you release on Spotify or YouTube?