I am assuming that you want to understand where people are coming from with these positions, instead of wanting to rant against people who didn't like a book you enjoyed. I actually came to this forum looking to see if other people had similar reactions to me about this stuff, and it is funny that you seem to have found most of my issues, but without understanding why I have them.
This book has an obvious thing to get to, the confrontation between Dalinar and Taravangian that was set up by the events of the prior book. The stuff about Mishram that Shallan is headed for and whatever Kaladin and Szeth are off to do in Shin was also something to look forward to, but I have this horrible problem where I don't actually like Kaladin that much.
The pacing issue arises when other stuff becomes so much of what the word count of the book actually is. Between Adolin and Sigzil, the largest portion of the wordcount ends up being about these elaborate battles, discussing strategy, and exploring the character of these men as leaders. This is not what I was looking forward to in this book, and it failed to convince me that I am better off with the surprise.
Adolin getting put through the "this is what it is to be one of the nameless spearbearers in someone else's epic" was still good, but it took so long getting there. Rehashing Adolin's problems with his dad again felt tedious. Adolin making friends with people was really slow feeling, and the way the battle would go was telegraphed so much that I started to consider skipping Adolin PoVs out of sheer lack of interest. Not to say there is nothing good there, I actually like Maya as a character, and the whole "Azimir has done the state admin stuff of trans rights" is interesting, but it was like too little jam spread over far too much toast.
Yeah, so I actually like Shallan being a messed up fujoshi. The fact she responds to her family being threatened with "Well, I don't want to actually be around them to keep them safe. I'll just play the sith rule of two game with my murdering teacher." is so cool of her. What actually bothers me about her is something of the modern prose issue: She explicitly has begun thinking about her "mental health". This phrase is very much a modern feeling one. There is also that she is spending a lot of time re-treading stuff that I thought she just did in the last book, which was set less than a week before this one. I get that people lose ground on their struggles, I know I have had this happen to me, but this gets back to the pacing issues: I was not looking forward to more of Shallan waffling on how much murder she should do. I thought she figured this out last book.
I don't know if it is the particulars of the prose, but there are points where I felt like the characters were thinking much more like I would expect a modern person to and not someone who had lived in a pre-modern world that has only been cast out of its traditional patterns for less than two years. If you have ever looked into the history of psychology, then you know the actual way people would think of a lot of stuff is as demons. This is treated as silly now, but imagine being Kaladin: Rotspren and painspren are extremely real to you. Why wouldn't he think about his depression as being a kind of wicked spren that he has been drawn to him by the mix of events he has experienced and his personal nature? He instead thinks of these feelings as being parts of his brain, which is the way that is more correct, but it is less interesting. There was a similar problem with Jasnah and her argument against Taravangian: She completely fails to think like someone who has lived in a feudal structure all of her life. Even I, who only thinks sometimes about what feudalism was like, was thinking as I was reading "The response to Taravangian saying 'what about your children and grandchildren?' is to offer to adopt a child of Fen's choosing as your heir and child or to propose a marriage of Gavinor to whatever person Fen chooses" and this never even seems to cross her mind because she's thinking like someone trying to win an argument on the internet instead of as a person who grew up with the threat of being married off to secure an alliance looming over her from the moment someone decided she was a girl and a noble.
I worry that the Cosmere stories are losing the aspect of fantasy where these stories let us imagine thinking about problems and situations in genuinely different ways, such that we might understand how we ourselves see things. Characters seem to be getting shaped to avoid them being offensive to modern sensibilities, not just about what is morally true but even how such things ought to be expressed. To put this another way, I respect The Beatles because they got weird with their music once they knew they had it made. Wind and Truth felt too safe.