Topics:gender
If you do not feel comfortable with any of the topic(s) listed above, read no further. I will not spoiler the text in this blog to accommodate for you. This is your only warning.
Unfortunately we don't ever get to be pure, you know. Because there are people out there who influence us and who guide us.
What does it mean to be trans?
The definition is easy enough to find: Someone who's gender identity does not align with that assigned at birth. But that's just a word salsa
Being trans isn't about just being different. It's about a journey with many steps, one that can't be skipped. Admittedly, the way I looked at being trans has evolved over time.
Originally, I presumed I had the courage to simply become a dynamic force and get straight to presenting feminine, and wearing feminine clothes. I thought that it would be simple, getting through the steps.
But over time, that warped into something different. I couldn't become a dynamic force, because I was shaped by the social structure around me. I could not even alter my gender expression a bit for fear of others noticing. So it became a waiting game, like a spider in a web.
I never once wore any gender affirming clothing outside of locked doors, and I never once used a different name outside of tightly controlled spaces.
And there are so many other changes, like how initially I focused on how good it would be later on and now I only focus on how I can make my position slightly more inline with who I am.
Gender isn't really a clear concept to me either. I found that androgyny is more comforting to me than hyperfeminine styles, even though I consider myself transfeminine. It became a representation of a position where I would merely be more happy. Whether it aligned well with labels became completely irrelevant.
There is a part of me that worries that when I encourage trans/cis people to question their gender or affirm their gender or guide them with getting started that I am detracting from this vital journey of self discovery. I really hate people who impose things on others, whether or not it is in the best interest of that individual. And I don't want to become someone like that, because I took an oath to myself that I would never become those people that I hate
It is incredibly hard to tell when you're overstepping a line, because they are not drawn well. In the same way, there is a part of me that wants to share the joys of being trans with the world. and then there is a part of me that needs to remember that I don't get to decide when other people take their journeys
it's hard to show restraint sometimes, especially since no one rewards you or even notices what you don't say[/s], which is arguably harder to figure out that what you do end up saying. It takes a lot of discipline, a skill I am attempting to improve.
That's enough for now.
A wild yuri recommendation appeared?
I like this one. I don't think it has any explicit scenes necessarily but it does have undertones of more mature content. Reader discretion is advised.
Here's today's Yuri!
