Channelknight Fadran

"Do you remember who you killed? Do you remember their faces? Do you know their names?"

Ayia clenched her fists, but hissed in a deep breath. "Okay." She said, turning away. "Okay, this clearly isn't working. You're dead-set on dying, I guess. So before we drop you back off on that planet again, just tell me one thing: what about all this are you so afraid of?"

"Respect isn't something you kill yourself over. I already told you: people you might hurt, people you've never met - they aren't your responsibility. You save the people you can because of kindness, and you save the people you love because that's what love means." Ayia was actually getting a little furious now. Or perhaps more... frustrated? One way or another, her face had gone a little red. "And I'm not going to stick my neck out to save you either. If you want to go die, then go die. We'll take you right back to that planet and let you live alone and miserable until someone finally tracks you down and snuffs you out. I'm just pissed off that you think you're helping anyone by giving up."

"You have no respect for yourself."

"You're willing to die because of something that might happen? You're willing to stake your life on that?"

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? How could I possibly be here if the reality of inevitability had never hit me the same way it hit you and Al? It comes for everyone. It came for my mother, it came for Élter, it came for Fadran, it came for Martin... we all watched people die that we couldn't save. Because 'your best' isn't something that can solve problems. There's no way to stave off fate with only will and power. No one has the power to save everyone. It's beyond any scope of truth or maturity that you can 'save the world' or 'save the universe' or anything, because those things aren't in your power. 'Everyone' isn't in your power. People. Aren't. In. Your. Power. The best any of us can do is find the ones we can choose to save."

"'Preserving what is of value to you' is all we have in this hellhole of a multiverse. We don't have the kind of time and we don't have the kind of power to worry about everyone. Other people and their well-being aren't your responsibility. They aren't yours to protect, and they aren't yours to control." Her mind was turning back to Élter this whole time. "Letting yourself die isn't helping people. Soldiers don't protect what they love by dying, they protect them by staring death in the face and fighting on. You want to save lives? You want to stop causing problems? Those were your mistakes, whatever they were. You can atone for them with just your soul. Hiding away until someone hunts you down and kills you is cowardice, not courage."

"And there you go again! YOU'RE. NO. DIFFERENT. THAN. ANYONE. You don't know these people. You don't know anyone you could possibly hurt. Hell, you barely know Al or me! Selflessness is staking your life on something you love, not on people you've never known. We don't need heroes."

"That you're not special. Just like everyone else." Ayia crossed her arms. "Everyone is worth exactly one life. It doesn't matter if you live a million years or absorb a thousand souls or destroy an entire universe. You think you can save other people by letting yourself die? That's not selflessness, that's selfishness. You think your one life is worth all of theirs?"

"Exactly! You think exactly like everyone else does."

"Boring."

"But you think you're willing to," Ayia said, "if it means saving people?"

"Boring."

"...If I'm being completely honest, I'm not a hundred percent sure of this myself, but I think it's just like you said: you were seen as a threat. Not just to lives, but to power." Ayia gestured to the corpse. "And if this lady's any proof, then I'd say you're not safe staying anywhere at all, let alone the planet where you started."

"I've been to dozens of galaxies and universes. In all of them, I have never seen a fully autonomous and completely empowered administration to end well."

"And how much does this Kkhlei flaunt their power? What of corruption?"

"I'm beginning to think that your government - or at the very least, some organization with equivalent power or influence - has been watching this very particular curse with considerable intent, and has been hiding whatever danger it may cause with remarkable success from all knowledge to the public."

"Precisely. I'm getting to my reasons soon... Al?"

Ayia held up a finger. "Tell me, Al. How likely is it that some random mage off the block managed to track down a presumably forgotten specter and procure a weapon designed specifically to kill them within half an hour of us freeing Variance here?"

Interesting. "Well, Al - Ghost boy. I'm beginning to think you two have a lot in common."

"Is there any... particular reason why?"

"And you..." Ayia was hesitant. "...Stole one, right?"

"Okay. And..." She looked a little awkward. "I hope this isn't too uncomfortable for you, but how exactly does the... government work? And, more importantly, how do people get those gemstones of yours?"