I think I am here.

Rene Descartes came to the conclusion that by thinking, therefore you are. So you, Itiah, are. Whether you're here is another question, but at least you can now claim to be one step closer to solving your existential crisis. Unless, you already had taken this into consideration, in which case the real intention of this spoiler tag was to cause you to waste thirty seconds reading this extraordinarily run-on sentence that doesn't seem to want to end even though it has long since used up what little purpose it was intended to have.

Happy birthday.