I Am Witless

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I'm just confused right now because there is someone named Rohan, as in the Riders of Rohan from Lord of the Rings.

Yzabet, lonely as ever, set out for the nearest perpendicularity.

Yzabet threw the sled ahead of her, ran, and jumped on it. She rode it like she was surfing or skateboarding, and quickly slicked her body and the sled so that the two were frictionless. Taking a little slick off of the bottom of her foot, she used it to push herself along faster. She too jumped over Mace, and the coin shot at her slid off her skin like a leaf. She quickly caught up to her lead competitor, who..... was wearing ice skates?

"Those aren't gonna work very well, honey!" She yelled. "We're about to get off of the ice and start over snow!"

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Let's see what a normal Edgedancer can do.

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I'd like to apologize. I wrote this on mobile (bleh) late at night (bleh) while tired (bleh) with little research into some of the extraneous characters. I've written worse, but I've written ssoooooo much better. I'll update this as I find time/inspiration.

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I had a backstory for Yzabet here, but realized that an unknown backstory is more powerful than a known one.

Yzabet blinked, then drew herself up in a posture of friendly indignation.

"Yzy? Really Mace? YZY? How does one even go about spelling that? Or, if you read it, pronouncing it? The only trick that you have up your sleeve is making a fool of yourself." She turned to Hellbent.

"And you can devote your rebel streak to joining me in sassing Mace instead of complaining. We wait on the word of the Queen."

Yzabet caught Mace's eye and raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes?" She asked, fully aware of what he was thinking.

Yzabet grabbed Mace by the foot and increased the Abrasion on her hand. He jerked to a halt.

"Hang on a second, Mace. TUBA is known for being honest. At least, it should be. I believe that Her Highness will let us know when we start so that this isn't unfair."

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Soooo..... are we sledding down stairs, or is there an actual course?

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@Grey Knight potato you may be a traitor, but you are A FREAKING AWESOME WRITER. I'll give you that much.

Also, is the Newcago court supposed to be a separate timeline than this, like the Alleyverse Bar?

@Edgedancer Jak, welcome to the 17th shard! I too identify with the Edgedancers. What have you read so far?

Should I ask for A future, or THE future? Because I think that you are seeing A future, and not THE future.

Yzabet bowed again to Queen Elsa, then slapped Archer on the back of his head.

 "I bet that I can still beat you, even if it is racing over gum or tar. Grow up, Alcatraz." The fourth wall cracked a little bit as Yzabet made a non-cosmere reference. Yzabet shot a guilty glance at the spiderweb of hair-line fractures in the air. "Sorry." She muttered under her breath.

Yzabet bowed deeply to Elsa.

 "Ladyship, might I be so presumptuous as to inquire whether I may join this race? Or would an Edgedancer be unfair competition?"

Yzabet didn't know how to dab, so she did the hocky pocky dance of victory. It was the most widely accepted form of victory dance in the whole Alleyverse.

"Yooooooooou puuuuuuuuuut yooooooooooooour RIGHT HAND IN, YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND OUT, YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT HAND IN, AND YOU SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT..... "

Every one else in the Alleyverse went about celebrating the subforum too.

Yzabet piroetted [I don't know if that is how you spell the word] off of the banister and landed in a delicate spin. She would have won Olympic gold for that.

Then she saw Archer shoot into the air, driven by a whoosh of..... Yzabet's eyes widened until she looked like an anime character. "Chocolate." She whispered, ignoring the half pleased, half I'm-going-to-fall-to-my-death screams of Archer high above her. Yzabet stick her hand in and kicked it. 

"Hmmm. Milk chocolate with a hint of raspberry. I wonder if they have a sea salt and huckleberry dark chocolate geyser somewhere. " But other pressing matters were at hand. She looks up at Archer.

 "You okay?"

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

WE CAN STOP SPAMMING EVERYBODy ELSE

Yzabet laughed. It had been too long since she had experienced anything other than a dull depression, interspersed with bouts of melancholy. Applying and removing friction on different parts of her feet turned her boots into ice skates. She slicked her whole body, then ran across the floor. With a graceful jump that only an Edgedancer could ever pull off, she leapt onto the balcony and surfed down the banister, racing Mace.

Yzabet turned, yipped, and gave Mace a rib-cracking hug.

 "Storms, Mace, it's been too long! I haven't seen any friends for months. How are you?"

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Wrong account? You have two accounts? That isn't allowed....

Yzabet continued living in her mountainside retreat because no one remembered her as a character. She grimaced as the fourth wall started cracking. That wasn't good.

Because the madness had to end Butt was polite, so he and the Dragon - a gorgeous young female dragon named Blood-Guts-and-Terror - sat down and shared a roast turkey. 

Yzabet, who didn't even know that this bar existed, stepped into it. Chaos himself would have been confused there. She sat down on the only remaining stool, which was missing a leg, and leaned on the only remaining section of counter.

 "One root beer, please." Someone started screaming behind her. "To go, preferably."

Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. There are forty+ books that you can read. Start at Guards! Guards, Wyrd Sisters, Going Postal, Mort or Pyramids. He co-wrote Good Omens with Neil Giaman, and it's pretty funny. My personal favorite (which I highly suggest reading) is Monstrous Regiment, but it requires reading the Anhk-Morpork City Watch series and the Moist Von Lipwig series.

Something heavy dropped into Yzabet's pocket as she skinned a deer. She left bloody fingerprints on the gilt-edged card. No. This is a joke. Someone is masquerading as him. Someone who is very cruel. Yzabet put the invitation back in her pocket and continued with her work.

Hoid was there, and began giving them advice on what to do when swallowed by large monsters.

6 hours ago, BitBitio the Mudkip said:

BitBitio left the conversation and stopped posting in the thread because it had become WAY too weird.

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Of all of the things in this thread, THIS weirds you out?

I misunderstood what the poll was about (read the title too fast) and I chose who I thought was the 2nd most powerful person in the alleyverse, not RP character.