Felt

Dusk turns to the ladies accompanying his opponents....

Hello hello,
hello how you doin’
You wanna come with me?
Or follow the path of Ruin?
Or maybe the Heod,
is what wiggles your senses
Let me tell you something
as this roast commences

You ladies need to break up,
with these stupid fools
In comparison to me,
they are all just tools
Where they come from,
they don’t have this type of schools
Never fought the father?
With survival never had to bother
They would fall in a moment,
anywhere on the Pantheon
Let alone step a foot on Patji,
the Megalomeon

Now let me tell you something
about yer man Taan
He’s not very much fun,
and just like his raps
he’s gonna be….. undaan
He couldn’t satisfy you
about women, has no clue
He’s a sculptor at hart
In love no more than a fart
Come with me
I’ll make you see
Patji’s beauty, his lesson
Magnificent aggression
I’ll share it with you
And show you what is true

Now on to this loser
named Aradan,Yo man,
Your parents give you that name?
For your whole lifespan?
Couldn't they come up with something better?
My advice to you..... forget her

Now on to my girl Sarene
she’d split your head open
if you know what I mean
She would leave that kid Raoden
and come home to Daddy
I mean Patji the father, savvy?

Do you girls want a real man,
a survivor?
No Rulers boy,
no lame adviser
A real live trapper,
amazing rapper
Not a kidnapper,
not a backslapper
Without a didapper,
but a real live Aviar
with good behavior
with awesome raps in his repertoire
Smoke a big cigar,
Taking you off their radar,
Have a bigger stick them (by far)

With these boys you need to Rap up
and quickly do a breakup
They are no VIP…
You girls comes home with me
I like em with curls,
Oops, got all your girls
Do you doubt it?
Nothing you can do about it.

Dusk leaves with his opponents girls....

There once was a fella
by the name of Rock
He came down from the mountain,
he didn’t come to talk.

His Nuatoma was large,
his Nuatoma was fast
He went to fight for shardplate,
he thought he could last

They went to a Highprince
to challenge him in combat
But he didn’t play fair,
they didn’t count on that

Now his Nuatoma is dead,
his Nuatoma is slain
Nothing more to gain,
now you gotta live with the pain

But when you’re cooking meat,
revenge can be sweet
Just throw in some chull dung,
and don’t admit defeat

To bridge four you went then,
into certain doom
Till your *ss got saved,
by a man in eternal gloom

If all this happened to me,
I would be out fighting
But instead you’re making stew,
that’s not so exciting,
you need a firm slighting
Me, I’m like my father
……….. out there Uniting

So what are you doing here,
you Unkalaki brat
Who are you trying to get at?
All you do is chitchat

Let me show you where it’s at,
put on my rhyming hat
You can never win from me,
In lyrical supremacy you’re falling flat

Now here we go
I’m back on the scene
I hate to be mean
but your lyrics are obscene
They are worse than your cuisine,
I wish I had a time machine,
I wish I had foreseen
It was really that bad,
your stew made me green
It reflects your own hygiene
and really tastes unclean
Are you keen to hear more?
that’s not at all unforeseen
cuz in dissing I’m the best
if you know what I mean
So look for me in the Final
…..I’ll be wearing tangerine

Now go back to your mountain,
where you came from
The end of this battle?
We all know the outcome

Yo, my name is Adolin,
last ones Kholin
Ima keep rollin’,
and try to get your vote in

The end of the beginning,
The nobles are sinning
The flow of my rhyme
….straight up winning
 

Now I think all of you heard
that I’m a ladies man
But getting married…
wasn’t a part of the plan

I’ve been known to quicken heart rates
When a woman seduces she sedates
I’ll tell you what awaits,
I’ve been on many dates

Washing dishes and plates,
has never been one of my good traits
So I don’t dance,
to what A Vorin woman dictates.
 

First off I’m gonna tell you,
about my next of kin
I know we are crazy,
I know we’re full of sin

So daddy o daddy,
what you up to now?
You couldn’t win this round,
you wouldn’t know how

The people are scared of you,
for that they have good reason
If you don’t watch your back,
you’ll have to deal with high treason

So when you deal with nations,
you have to collaborate
(Just look at me)
All the people I accommodate

I’m an advocate of the appropriate
I liberate, and I motivate
You are a barbarian,
and all you can do is intimidate

You just keep sinning,
ima tell it to you straight
At the end of this,
you’ll still be Rayses play mate


Next up is Amaram
the man with the power
Your heart and soul stink,
go take a shower

Evil to the core,
respectable on the outside
But when I come for you,
there is nowhere to hide

Now you asking for permission,
and acting all nice
But when Odium came knocking,
you sold your soul thrice

The words you emulate,
are empty and full of hate
Mine are sophisticate,
and relate you to the primate

Stupid like a single cell organism
called bacterium
Like a chicken in an aquarium,
you’d be submitting to odium

Your roasts are so stupid
(I just can’t believe it),
So while I hold my cranium,
ima ride off with my Ryshadium

Now last up is Taravanian,
he’s a man of state
He’s stupid and he’s smart,
and prone to miscalculate

He’s lying in wait,
deciding the children’s fate
For him a mental checkup,
is really due date

So let me give you an update,
you discriminate and depopulate
You are the provoker of desolations,
and you don’t deserve a clean slate

For all you Odium lovers out there,
between me and you
While you don’t have anybody,
I’ve got a whole crew

So let me berate,
quicken your heart rate

All the competition I incapacitate,
while you recuperate

When you negotiate, you negate
I mediate, You obliterate

I give life and I resuscitate,
You fabricate and I create

I am master of my fate
and once more I reiterate
that at this flow rate
I’ll make you stop the HATE

So-so this is round two,
and this is what we’re gonna do
You bring your guest crew
And ima roast both of you

You don’t understand
Ima give you a reprimand
Rhymez come out of me
…straight up, on demand

Now how many things
can you rhyme with land?
grassland and wetland?
Isn’t that poetry bland

Man you are boring,
it’s getting kinda out of hand,
I need to step it up a beat
and show you your defeat

Now considering your value,
the Lord Ruler created you
We all know that his world view
was a bit askew

Watcha gonna do?
With me compete?
Just take a seat,
and listen to the beat

You make me into stew?
I am the pot, the fork
and the fire....
You are the ant and I’m the shoe

You haven’t even got a crew
Just a murdering zoo
with no added value
and a severe intelligence issue

Bored or enraged,
two states of mind
the only thing I find
when I look at your kind

Twelve feet only you can grow
does it matter? (you’re is still slow)
Cuz your aspect ratio
Isn’t in accordance with your freak show

I set my Knights Radiant aglow
To you I deal another blow
Lyrical perfection is my ammo,
Stupid and Koloss goes toe-in tow

Fighting for a little sword
Killing each other on a whim
Just like you I’m already bored
But Slammer is my pseudonym

So I gotta stand up
and slam you with some funky rhymez
So I gotta get up
and tell you about all your crimes

Koloss are killing without reason,
Koloss have very little intelligence
Human wants to be human
But never thinks of consequence

If you ever got a house,
what would you even do with it?
Run around in circles,
in the end you would destroy it

Now I turn my attention
to the man that’s pointing the finger
what are you doing here, Ati?
Aren’t you dead, you little ginger?

Shard can only fight shard,
is that why you are here?
Just look at Steris and Lopen,
against all, they still persevere

Ati my boy,
we both started out the same
You’ll have to admit your defeat,
you are out of this game

Now how does it seem,
to be on the loosing team
With roast and boast
I will crumble your dream

You are both dead.
…And I’m still right here,
instead of going down
I am best in Cosmere

Battle roast / tournament win / the rhyme writing Cultivation /
 writing, rhyming / the winning tournament roast battle
-Ketek written by Navani Kholin after the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles-

“Her rhymes break the bar, but they always equal exactly 16 lines, 4x4…”
-commentary of Adolin Kholin after the first round of the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles-

“I would give my arm again to see her roast some more people”
-commentary of the Lopen after the first round of the Third Tournament of the Roast Battles-

My rhymes are four by four, I’ll show you out the door, I go to much extent, now let me take the floor
Part of Adonalsium, Cultivation is my intent, I’m Ketek bent, content to be 1/16 percent
Hosting, slowly starting rhyming, boasting, don’t do much posting, but I am good at roasting
I create, patience is another word for wait, tell it to ya straight, your character isn’t so great

You call yourself Vasher, who za hell is that? Warbreaker the Peaceful sounds like a pussycat
I will call you deceitful, disgraceful and wasteful, nightbloods point of view, I’ll give him an ear full
Is evil black? Or is it maybe blue? You have no clue about what it is that you need to do
Swords will never grow, destroying evil’s all you know, put you in your place, now come enjoy the show

Now just in case Hoid shows his face, gotta brace a little faster, gotta cut to the chase
you’re a shameful disaster and I AM the Roast Master! Didn’t you know? I am the fastidious,
now is your name Cephandrius or midious? I will call you perfidious, insidious and hideous
King’s Wit, hypocrite, didn’t you know? That Cultivation is THA sh*t..........I have no mortal fear

Now all you comic punks, you can go home my dear, you’re faking rapping, crying, why is it unclear?
You’ll never reach my level, I will persevere, I’ll drown you little homies while I chug a beer
Do you volunteer to be on the frontier? Lets kick it into high gear and make it crystal clear
No more going back mate, didn’t you hear? I’m the f*cking best, yes, IN THA COSMERE