Ghando43

Sorry for delay, but here's the thread to the revision of my prologue. I look forward to hearing from you guys.

Ok, so I am going to write my response before I read too many of the others and hit spoilers. I didn't read your first version of the story, so I can only judge what you have so far here. Overall, I'm hooked. It's definitely something I want to read more of. I looked at this story as if I were writing it myself, so I have some questions that I would ask myself if I was writing this. They aren't really meant for a response, just more to think of the story yourself. 1: You made it seem like the attack of the city was well at hand when Hellas arrived. But it seemed the coup was meeting no resistance, or any alarms had been raised. Unless I missed something, how could such an attack get so far without anyone knowing of it yet? Not saying it can't happen, obviously it's your story and anything you want can happen. It's just a thought I had. 2: I'm assuming that Michael is the bad chull archangel I usually think of him as, which is why Hellas went to him for help. But why did he go to Catherine first, and not Michael right off the bat? If Hellas knew what Lucifer was planning, and that he needed some strong help, why go to a smaller force first? The rest of my opinions and questions, I will wait until I read more and have a better understanding of the storyline and setting. I'm new to this, so I'm sorry if my thoughts are misplaced. I really like the story though, and can't wait to read more.

I think I am going to take your guys' advice. I rewrote the prologue, and will attempt to fix the first chapter and submit it. Thanks you guys.

I rewrote my prologue, and have it ready if there are anymore slots available.

Oh, no I have learned a lot already from this one submission. But my fear is that the story as a whole is just too cliche to fix. I am not afraid of criticism and revision, I'm just not sure if what I have can be fixed without changing the whole plot in general.

Ok, so now I need even more help. The biggest critique I have gotten is that there is too much cliche, not enough originality, etc. I understand that, and I want to fix that. But reading the rest of what I have written, which is a lot, I think, going from what I've heard here, there is too much cliche in the story as a whole. So my question is, should I try and edit it and fix the cliches if possible, or should I scrap it and work on another idea I have been playing with? I want to write something people are going to enjoy reading, and if it has to be a different story, then so be it. Later down the road I can come back and finish this one as a personal project. But I don't know what to do at this point. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks for the honesty guys. I'm taking what you guys said to heart and working on making the story more, original/creative, etc. I'll post when I have something worth reading.

Hey guys, so this is my first submission. It's the prologue of my book Amethyst Tower. Bare with me, I'm not sure as to what I'm really doing, but I hope you enjoy it. There isn't much actual violence in this part, but there is some aftermath of it, so I just wanted to be safe with the tag. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Hey, My name is Dylan, I'm 27, in California, working as a soldier in the Army. I write because it is a way to get away from the real world, and I also have an out of control imagination. If I don't write ideas down, I'll go mad from all the stories and plots circling my brain. My favorite author, well, it's a tie, between Tom Clancy and Brandon Sanderson, though I grew up reading the Harry Potter and LOTR series'. Thanks to all of these great authors, I tend to write a bunch of small bits of stories, but haven't had the determination before now to follow anything through. I believe that has changed though. I am currently working on my first actual novel, which is inspired by Tolkien, Sanderson, and Robert Jordan. Though I think even Clancy has gotten his influence in there a bit. I have about 54 thousand words so far, but I have paused to do editing and revision before I get too carried away and loose track of the story. My favorite books so far are Rainbow Six, Stormlight Archives, and A Hard Rain Fell, followed by the rest of Sanderson's books, as well as LOTR, Potter, and Wheel of Time series.

Hey Silk, I would like to try and get a slot if possible. I have the first part of my story ready for critiquing, I hope I'm ready for it, anyways