AuthorityHellas16

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I've made some major changes to Chapter 1 thanks to all of you, and I think it's already a lot better. My next submission will be two chapters long, and I hope it still captures your interest.

Hey Vreeah. I'm genuinely excited to read this again. You sucked me in with your last submission, so I'm hoping for more exciting swashbuckling! As I go: I'm a little confused about the magic system. I like it and its inventive, but it's limitations/frequency amongst the population etc are a mystery to me. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as I'm not a big fan of extended training montages or explanations where every little detail is explained. But don't tease it out too much or it may break your story and world apart Page 2: "must've" -> "must have." Not sure if this is your style, and I can accept it if it is, but it's just a pet peeve of mine. Feel free to disregard When you say "the penthouse's defences worked," what exactly do you mean? I get that there's a defence grid of some kind that prevents the burstones from blowing a hole in the house, but I want to get some sense of how this works. It doesn't have to be a full explanation, but a hint would make the scene make more sense in my head You do a good job integrating the elra into the fight scene and making it appear visceral and real in the reader's imagination. Notwithstanding a few small areas that could do with a bit of revision (e.g. "there were some small thumps;" "there was a moment where the guards frantically turned their heads") I like this scene "The blade's tip began to glow with more than twice the intensity of the marbles." Again, did I miss something? What marbles? The section with the fusing is a perfect example of integrating explanation and the physics of your elra into the action. Well done! Instead of calling them "Riley's Dad" or "Riley's Mom," I think it would be better to address them by their own names. This removes confusion when they address each other by said names as well I feel like Annika chastising Riley while they are being held captive is a little bit silly; I'd imagine as a mother her first instinct would be to protect her daughter, before giving her an chull-whoopin later. You can communicate her anger and disappointment with a few choice words or even a look, but it doesn't quite fit the situation to my mind. Maybe Annika's a little more callous than your average mother, but since this hasn't been established (and she's rescuing her daughter in the first place) it doesn't quite fit. I love the conversation between Reginald and Linnald. It sheds a lot of light on the world, though I'm not sure what the nature of the agreement (trade agreement? peace treaty?) was or why Linnald thinks the automatic end-point of the failure of such an agreement is war. It also revealed a good deal about Reginald, making him a much more sympathetic character, which is important in a con man. Overall, I like the story thus far. I think the characters could do with a little more fleshing out, and there are some gaps to fill in the worldbuilding and backstory, but you've written it in such a way that I want to read on and discover those details rather than just giving up and setting the story aside. I'll keep reading as long as you keep it interesting! Keep going!

Hey Coop. I'm coming into this one chapter late; hope that's okay As I go: I like your focus on the speed of Sira's steps, as a physical indicator of her comfort/stress level. It gives the reader a palpable sense of her emotions as if we're watching her, rather than saying something abstract like "she felt scared." I already love the interactions between Sira and her Grandpa; they remind me a lot of the relationships I have with my own grandparents, so kudos for nailing that. For the most part you do a great job of showing and not telling, which makes the aside during the conversation between Sira and her mother (about her military lifestyle) stick out. Perhaps offering that information as an off-hand comment like "you know what these military types are like" or something of that ilk would allow the conversation to flow better. Pure costume porn when you describe the suit, but I can tell you're enjoying it and the description is very vivid, which I can appreciate. "I'm a stud," is not something I'd imagine a 12-year old girl saying. Maybe I grew up around different girls, but "stud" was a very boy thing to say. On the other hand, not sure what an alternative is... I like the tension between Sira and her Grandpa on a human level; it makes these characters seem flawed and therefore real. I'm interested to see what becomes of Sira's extensive playing. Again, I like it on a character level as it makes her appear to exist outside the linear plot, but part of me worries that it won't amount to much. But I'm excited to be proven wrong. Overall a wonderfully written few chapters. I love your style and your characters. I think the events were a little on the mundane side, but with the deliberateness of your prose I'm expecting every last detail to rear its head in an awe-inspiring climax. And I cant wait!

As always, thanks for your wonderful feedback, guys. Where would I be without you? Kaisa Thrilled you liked the character of Atena and the worldbuilding. I'm finding that these characters are coming easier to me this time around because I've put more effort into creating them. Thanks for clearing up some parts that were vague or confusing and I loved the idea of a shorter dream sequences; consider that changed Coop First of all, love your picture; can't get enough of the Ministry of Silly Walks. Also: Incredibles? One of my five favourite films of all time! To business: thanks for being frank that the chapter wasn't as engaging for you. It's a first draft so things like that are absolutely a problem. The paperwork was meant to be a proxy for a bit of worldbuilding, but I can totally understand if it was boring. And yes, Atena's character is one fraught with PTSD, and I'm glad you like the idea. The execution of course could be better and I like your idea of having her be a bit shorter of temper than before. That's something I can definitely work with. Boring is good in my book, simply because it can be fixed! Both of you also addressed the problem of the war being a bit abstract, with no real consequences or stakes. I do have a fix for this: in my head Altamar is located in an archipelago, which was once dominated by three beautiful cities: Altamar, Altaire and Serodar. The latter two have been razed to the ground by Cronus and his army when they came painfully close to wiping the islands clean. For reasons I can't even explain myself, I planned on having this information in the next chapter, when it would make much more sense to include it here. Anyway, thank you for your feedback, as always. You're awesome!

Hi all, Thanks again for all the wonderful feedback last time. I really appreciate you all coming along for this amazing ride. I’ve re-named the story the Thousand Yard Stare. For those of you familiar with the term, you can probably guess what’s coming; those who aren’t will hopefully understand by the end of this chapter. A couple of you suggested the venerable Robinski and his character vignettes as a way of getting into the mind of an individual, something I’m not afraid to admit I didn’t do much of with the previous draft. I’ve taken that idea further and made such a vignette into the first chapter of the book: Previously: Atena, Marcus and the armies of the Ordo milita respond to Cronus' rebellion and attempted coup, forcing the traitor to flee and saving the life of Altamar’s “god-king” Octavian. Now, the story skips ahead twelve years. The war between Cronus and Altamar continues, and Atena has been promoted to Field Marshal. Special feedback from this chapter: Is the timeskip too jarring? I made it thus to avoid the dissatisfaction of my previous “it was all a dream” ending Does the information and world building in the chapter make sense, or is it confusing? What do you think of the character of Atena? Given that this comes straight after an action-packed prologue, is the pacing boring? Is it just boring on its own merits? Is Atena’s flashback and her reaction to it melodramatic (the description of PTSD is deliberately medically accurate, but that doesn’t always make convincing fiction!) NB: I made a slight change to the prologue that has the Ordo Milita’s HQ in the mouth of an extinct volcano overlooking Altamar to explain how the rebellion could have gained so much traction before they arrived. Just to clear up any confusion when Atena suddenly has to leave a volcano to get to Altamar! As always, any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Cheers! AH16

@Vreeah Absolutely, if there's space. Sorry @Hobbit to hear about your lost work; that's a real bummer

Welcome to Reading Excuses! I really enjoyed this submission. It's well written and there's an almost perfect blend of the familiar and strange to make me intrigued (frostgun being a primary example). As I go: I'm not sure how important this is to the plot, but I'd like to know a little more detail about what "marks" Reginald hit during the day that enabled him to make so much money. Just a little hint about "closing a major deal" or something of that ilk that made it seem important rather than a regular day. This would also impress me as to his skill as a criminal, thus giving expectations about Riley's skill (like father like daughter and all that) A little too much telling for my liking from Riley regarding her past exploits. Perhaps this could be integrated into the scene where she goes through her treasury. Really like the magic system; brings to mind the allomancy from the Mistborn series. I'm keen to learn more! Also love the city, but I wouldn't mind a little more visceral description of things looked. What were they made of, what did they smell like. Was it clean? Dirty? I find that using all five senses is one of the best tools to use when creating an environment The heist was nice and appropriately quick; normally I'd expect a big build up and execution (think Ocean's Eleven) but since this is just the first chapter I think the quickness and speed is a good way to show Riley's ability to think and adapt on the spot Following the advice of the Writing Excuses podcast, I reckon it'd be more satisfying to give a hint of Linnald's intentions with Riley to the audience prior to the end of the chapter. I'm assuming by "Regi" he means Reginald, but I'm not sure. Overall, a fascinating start to your work. I'm looking forward to reading on. Well done!

No worries

If, and only if, neongrey needs more time, I'll gladly take his spot

Thanks so much all of you for such amazing feedback. I'm glad that a lot of you have enjoyed the new version, for all its first-draft foibles, while giving me such sage advice. I also acknowledge that for those of you who read and enjoyed my previous version that it's difficult to read this without comparing it, so a special thank you for your efforts. I promise that from here, the story diverges from its parent in tone and events, so it'll all be new! Reading the feedback, I think there are a lot of things I can improve on (obviously). These include, but are not limited to: The Characters: This area of the story is something I'm very excited to flesh out. I think that because the previous version went through so many iterations, and very little character work, the characters there seemed stale or inconsistent. You guys also mentioned the venerable Robinski and his character sketches. I love this idea, and have actually made the first chapter of the story proper (set twelve years after the prologue) in a similar vein. Without giving too much away, it's very much a "day-in-the-life" type chapter, which I hope gives you guys more insights into her character and motivations. I'm very excited to see what you think of this The Stakes: This is a similar problem to the previous iteration, and something that I haven't quite figured out yet. I agree that Cronus needs to be more of a threat, and have several ideas for this. Just need to work on it The Writing: "adjective-heavy" is something I've seen a few people point out. I'm sure I got a bit too flowery, and can cut it down. So thanks. Overall, wonderful feedback. What's particularly gratifying is the excitement some of you are reporting. That really makes me happy, so thank you all so much. I can't wait to see where this takes us!

Greetings all, So, following the submission of a few chapters from When Good Angels Do Nothing, I received some fantastic feedback. The major points raised were: The Abrahamic nature of many of the characters was clashing with the (hopefully) original setting, other characters and mechanics of the story, creating confusion and in many cases disbelief. There was a distinct lack of strong female characters The world building was rather shallow, not painting enough of a picture of this magical place that’s in my head The stakes did not seem high enough, given that the main character could take a holiday with little consequence The main character needed a LOT of work I like to think I take constructive criticism to heart. So to that end, I’ve completely re-written the prologue, as an exercise to correct the above faults. The main difference you’ll notice is that the character of Hellas is no more (rendering my username rather archaic). I’ve taken what I consider to be the best bits of the Hellas and Catherine characters and combined them to make one badass character called Atena, whom I hope you like. I’ve also completely eliminated the story’s Abrahamic roots, which I think makes it less jarring for those of you with a Christian background, and more accessible for those of a non-Christian extraction. Now, the angels and archangels are humans with magic; whether its an alternate dimension or they’re humanoid aliens I’ll leave up to you. This of course means that all of the characters with angelic names (e.g. Michael) have been changed, though their roles in the story remain broadly the same. This is all an exercise to try and write the best story I can. I have heaps of ideas on how to make it more engaging than the one that came before, so if you approve, I’ll keep on submitting. Also, if anyone has any ideas for a title, I'm all ears As always, thanks so much! AH16

If there's space, I'd like to submit this week as well

Quite frankly, I love these vignettes, Robinski. I think you've really achieved that blend the familiar and the new, especially with the first one. I love the imagery of a futuristic Milan that still has many of the cliches of the present. I don't know what your personal opinion of the film is, but I almost got a Looper vibe from it, which is a compliment in my book. Don't really have much else to say, other than I'd really like to continue reading and see where these exercises take me. Kudos!

Thanks as always for the feedback, guys. It's clear there's still a lot to work on. I'll respond to the main issues raised here. Gender issues. This is one I actively tried to avoid, unfortunately. Although they haven't been introduced, I have written several strong, independent female characters into the book who come in at a later time. Even though it's not entirely obvious now, I also made Catherine much more involved in both the re-writes of what has already been done and later in the novel, where she has much more involvement in the story, both as Hellas' emotional (and sometimes physical) crutch, and his metaphorical queen (i.e. the best soldier in his army). An idea that I've been toying with for a while is actually swapping the genders of a few main characters, chief of which is Hellas. When I first wrote this, I obeyed the rule of "writing what you know," and since I was a nerdy teen at the time (five years ago), I thought I'd write a more convincing male lead. Then, I came across Brandon Sanderson's advice in his podcast, which was "write people, not genders." Since then I've seriously considered making Hellas a badass female character that plays with a lot of the tropes typically assigned to males (e.g. an alcoholic, traumatised soldier who still kicks butt). I might play around with this a little more. The only part of this issue that I don't have an excuse for is the "women in refrigerators" issue, other than to say that I was 18 when I started this thing, and overdosed on cliched tropes and REALLY bad fiction :P. It's something that I've been meaning to correct for a while, and indeed is something that I've deleted entirely in the most recent round of rewrites. Hellas has more than enough reason to be traumatised without relying on such a cliched and overused (not to mention unpleasant) trope Pacing: I'm grateful that this was brought up. I think the best way to do this would be to move the first battle (coming up in two chapter's time) right to the start, to illustrate the stakes immediately. You'll read it in a week or two, but until then I beg your indulgence. Mythos: Scrios does do a bit of an info dump in the next chapter, but it's something I need to work on. Thanks again, guys. I promise to keep working

Hi all, Apologies for the lengthy submission this week. I figured that these two chapters worked better when read back to back, as one kind of flows into the other. One of the biggest changes I’ve made since I last submitted this story was reworking the character of Hellas, so I’d like your opinions on his new look. The biggest part of this was changing him from the Batman-esque dark and brooding character to more of a sad jokester type. I also, following advice from our venerable Robinski, changed up his reasoning behind this behaviour, hopefully making him a little more sympathetic and a little less “me, me, me!” It’d be great if you could tell me how this comes across I also minimised the eye-colour changing after feedback I got from you guys last week. I also took a closer look at the dialogue, which was widely called the worst part of my previous admission. Hopefully it’s a little less tripe. One last thing I wanted to ask. One of the readers of the prologue had trouble believing that the characters were angels. I made them deliberately more human to be more relatable, but it got me wondering whether them being angels in name only was distracting and potentially alienating to those of a non-Abrahamic (or even non-Christian) faith. It would not take much for me to change them to sufficiently-advanced-winged-humanoid-aliens or some such. What do you guys think? As always, thanks so much! AH16 Previously: Hellas dreamed about the events that led to the start of the war against the hellspawn, before being arrested by the Holy Inquisition for crimes against the city.

I'd like to submit a couple of chapters. Is it okay if I go over the word limit here? I feel like the two chapters should go together

A really interesting concept, and an interesting start to the story. Can't wait to read more. I like that, at least from my perspective, there were things that were not immediately explained. Stringing a reader along as you worldbuild (or in this case universe-build) is a good way to build tension. I'm left asking questions like what's the grea importance of the Centa? I'd try and avoid the lists. One thing that I think works (and you've done a lot of it) is introduce people by their contributions, like dialogue or reactions. I like the alternate time periods. A nice touch for an alien environment I'm not a fan of the rapid-fire timeskip montage after Celyra was invested. Do you need this information, or could you make a clean cut to the future? Overall interested to see where you go in this new universe!

Thanks again for the feedback everyone. I'll go sequentially again, so apologies: Alfa: Thankfully, I hope that all of your issues are explained later or have been fixed. The explanation for the time-paradox is difficult (and not really relevant to the story), but I've used a similar method to hand-wave it as is used in Warhammer 40K; the Void (just like the Warp) has an incredibly fickle relationship with the different planes of existence, meaning that Lucifer could have popped out at any time. Like I said, it's not really important I've fixed the whole"Heaven is attacked and the Host is asleep" thing, which was the biggest problem with this chapter. When Hellas arrives back, the Host is already on the counterattack There's a plot reason that Hellas is unusually powerful Robinski Always appreciate your thorough feedback, and thanks for reading it again. You've given way too much feedback, so I'll say that it's all good and I'll take note of it I'll definitely have a look at your Hold the Bridge (nice plug there ) rdpulfer I've tried to make Lucifer less-standard (more grey than Father-of-Lies evil) but I can work on it The dialogue is something I admit is hard to write. I'll work on making it less tripe I feel like everything here is required because the action then skips ahead a decade. I tried in an early draft to jump straight into the action but there was an inordinate amount of "as you know," which I hate neongrey Sorry I couldn't hook you. Thanks for playing

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback, guys. I'm going to respond to as much of it as I can, so apologies for the long post. I'm thrilled you're all enjoying it so far; like I said, that's the main thing I wanted to achieve with this story. Here we go: I like the idea of teasing who is actually controlling Lucifer (thanks Mandamon) The eye colour changes were a gimmick, and one that can be easily deleted if they come across as pointless. The main reason for their inclusion was to make the angels less human-like. I deliberately made them humanoid in character so they would be relatable (and it's beyond my talent level to write a book where every character is an alien), but I wanted to make them clearly inhuman. The eyes seemed a good way to do this at the time, similar to the way a chameleon changes its skin colour. If you guys think it's a bit stupid, I can totally understand (Kaisa) I deliberately made Lucifer a bit 2D here because I wanted the focus to be on introducing the main characters and building the setting. Apart from a little bit of exposition about his motives (I got a lot of inspiration from Mass Effect's Saren), I wanted him to be a generic villain at this point so the book didn't get bogged down with discussion. Rest assured he will be much more complex and conflicted when he eventually does come to centre stage. The problem with no one in the Host realising that the city is being sacked is a big one, and one I have yet to find a way around. I'm considering having Hellas interrupt the Host's attempt to take back the city, which would give me the chance to add in some more action and Forging Catherine's remark about "Host Doctrine" is (as Eagle said) deliberately wrong. It was meant to imply that after centuries of being basically a ceremonial fighting force, the Host is woefully under-prepared for an attack of this magnitude. With Coop's concerns Re: Forging, I can assure you that there's a lot more cool stuff to come. Forging is so ubiquitous in this world that it starts to blur the lines between "magic" and "magitek." I'm excited for you to see that The aim of the dream was twofold: I wanted to show (not tell) the origins of Lucifer's rebellion, but the real story (that of Hellas) doesn't really take off for another twelve years. And since I'm not a fan of the whole "12 years later..." transition, a dream was the cleanest and easiest way to do this. The second part was to show that Hellas has a lot of bad things swirling in his mind of the PTSD nightmare-variety. The fact that he immediately drinks to calm himself and has to tell himself that he's "okay" was aimed to foreshadow some of his later behaviour. I also deliberately made Hellas' behaviour in the dream (when he was just a Host grunt) and the present (when he's a jaded bigwig) dissonant to hint at how twelve years of war has changed him. Rather than go for the DARK AND BROODING archetype (which has been done to death by Batman et al.), I wanted to make him a Sad Clown, in the mould of Chandler or (sometimes) Deadpool. The difference there was meant to be jarring. Thanks again for your above feedback. Obviously still things to clean up, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've put the explanations here just to give a bit of context to some of my ideas, since you guys don't have the full thing. Can't wait to give you more, and hope you enjoy it!

Hello everyone, So, I’ve been away for a while, adjusting to working life and being self-reliant and all that. But I’ve still been toiling away at this story, entitled “When Good Angels Do Nothing.” Some of you have already read it and given me invaluable feedback. To avoiding spoiling things for new readers, I won’t say what I’ve changed; suffice to say that there’s a lot that’s different in this new version. Goals of the story: A tale of overcoming personal loss and severe psychological damage A deconstruction of the classic black and white good vs. evil story with, hopefully, quite a bit of grey in the middle A large cast of unique characters that the reader can sympathise with as the story goes along. Would also like the main characters to be mobile and develop as people Most of all, a fun, enjoyable story. I’m not claiming to be even the palest shade of Rushdie, Sanderson or Rothfuss, but if you guys can enjoy what I’ve created, that’s enough for me. If you guys could let me know how well (or poorly) I’ve achieved these goals, I would really appreciate it. That plus the usual syntax, character flaws, storyboard problems etc. I’ll also recycle my disclaimer that I used with my previous submissions in that this is a concoction of my crazy brain and is not meant to insult the beliefs or faiths of anyone anywhere. Cheers! AH16

If possible I'd like to have a slot this week or next as well. I've been overhauling When Good Angels Do Nothing, thanks in no small part to the feedback I've received here. Would it be okay if I started from the beginning (I hear it's a very good place to...okay i'll show myself out)

Like the others have said, good on you for submitting. Feedback is the best way to find flaws or things that could be done better; I know I've found tons of stuff thanks to the guys here! I had a similar reaction to many of the others who have posted. I like the chapter as a prologue, and am intrigued as to how events unfold, particularly after the village was burned down. My biggest note was the classic "show-don't-tell" paradigm, and it came into full force here. You're throwing a lot of information at us, and it's very easy just to flick it to the side because it's all fairly didactic. There are ways around this; putting information in dialogue, having the characters do stuff that gets the information across. For example, rather than just telling us what the Bloodless were like, actually show us, or have the soldiers discussing the differences (perhaps give such a discussion overtones of disdain if you want to make the story more morally grey). The other option, of course, is to only give information that is relevant to the events here. Perhaps have the backstory to the war revealed later. Often spreading out the delivery of information makes it easier to swallow. I do have to agree with others' notes about some of the cliché'd moments here. While cliché's, like tropes, are good as tools, sometimes its good to make things more unique. Rather than making the Bloodless ride generic large cats (which I immediately equated to the waargs from Lord of the Rings), make them more alien. Shopping around deviantart or google for inspiration is often a good way to make things more original. In addition, I had serious flashbacks to Star Wars with the ending. I was almost expecting Kendaryk to start shouting "Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!" Again, not a bad thing; the loss of a character's family can (and should) be a heart-wrenching moment. But the overall scenario (burning village, callous enemy, dead family) just made me instantly think of Star Wars. One final note, and I only mention this from personal experience. I don't know how Kendaryk is going to react to his family's deaths, but I'd use caution if you're going to turn him into a dark and brooding character who drinks to forget. Having written one such character myself, I know that it is very hard to pull off, and the character can come across as whiny or wangsty very easily. I suggest trying to put a different spin on it; for me, I made it so my character was a sad clown-type who joked to cover his pain. The easiest way to make something refreshing is to approach it and deconstruct it in a different way. Despite all this, I'm interested to see where you go with the story, and will definitely be following along with great interest!

Hey everyone, As many mentioned last week, the last chapter I submitted wasn't my best one to date. Having reviewed your feedback (excellent as always), I went and re-read the chapter and found it to be, well, kinda crap. So, I overhauled it. The changes were fairly different and I wanted to re-submit it to see if it was better than before. Main points of emphasis: - Was it more fast-paced and did it flow better - Was World’s End more believable - Was Hellas’ entry and exit into World’s End more believable? Did you enjoy the sneaking segment? I've also been considering a couple of changes to the story and characters overall that I wanted to run by you (kinda cheating, I know). 1. I wasn't really satisfied with Hellas' dark-and-brooding heavy-drinking character. It brought up unwanted memories of Antonio Banderas' character in Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (possibly the WORST movie ever made). So I changed his character to much more of a Sad Clown, someone who makes jokes to cover up their inner pain, using characters like Chandler from Friends or Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender as my inspiration. I changed this because it's a less common character archetype than the Batman-esque character. Let me know how it feels to you 2. Just a general question, also relating to the above. Some of you may remember that Hellas has a dead wife (Jessica). Again, I thought that this may be a little excessive, essentially since Hellas is already the proud owner of a DARK AND TROUBLED PAST!! I'm worried that this is turning him into a bit of a Sympathetic Sue (i.e. someone who has a ridiculous amount of misfortune to generate sympathy from the audience). Therefore, I’m considering cutting the wife out, and having him haunted by a much more standard (but no less harrowing) soldier's PTSD. What are you thoughts on this? Any-hoozle, hope you enjoy this week's submission. There is much more to come (hope not many people groaned when they read that...) AH16 Last Time: After accepting Lucifer’s armour and his request to work towards a shared goal (the removal of the Council from Heaven), Hellas seeks the advice of his old mentor, the Mor’kai Scrios. Scrios reveals knowledge of a group of elite soldiers who had been taken prisoner by the hellspawn and were held within World’s End. In order to find a way into the blasted plateau, Hellas confronted the terrifying Keeper of Secrets, an abomination with whom he seemed to share some history. The Keeper tested Hellas, clearly trying to nudge him towards remembering his long-lost identity, without success. In return for successfully completing his challenges, the monster told Hellas of a second labyrinth beneath Mount Majesty that would lead him into World’s End. Armed with this knowledge, Hellas and Rakha travel west, in hopes of finding the entrance into World’s End and freeing the important soldiers. From there, Hellas hopes to start his rebellion against Heaven in earnest.

Yeah, I was thinking that. I'm also looking forward to catching up on some submissions I've missed over the past week!

If there's space, I'd like to submit two chapters this week