Jump to content

Madagascar

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    262

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Madagascar

  1. Madagascar
    "Help yourself"? Well if you inshisht... don't mind if I do! Jusht let me tuck thish bottle away for shafekeeping (after I safely empty it into my mouth of course) and I'll tuck in! *heaps a pewter plate with a hearty helping of potatoes, roast beef, corned cabbage and roast carrots* People alwaysh think there's enough food for Matilda. But they alwaysh forget about the cats. *finishes first plate of food in less than three minutes and moves on to the next without stopping*
  2. Madagascar
    Hmm. Shteward, I will donate five catsh to your "Contribution Crusade". Do you prefer tortoisheshellsh or tabbies? And do I get an extra meal for my catsh? And then maybe an extra extra meal for me, because I'm 80 years old but have misshed breakfasht mosht of my life.
  3. Madagascar
    And then probably eaten by cats. Your mashter offered me coin for thish shervish, and alcohol ain't free.
  4. Madagascar
    Yikes! What, so Spiked running around, stealing people's precious precious cats, aren't enough, we have to worry about Mistwraiths too? I'm too old to dress up as a Mistwraith's greatest fear and hunt Mistwraiths through the dark alleys! And Koloss, I don't think those even exist, but from me long life I know that ain't gonna stop this poor village from tearing itself to bloody, gory pieces in the chaos. Ugh, I'm 80 years old! Can't I just retire in peace with my bottle of whiskey and my many wonderful cats? Ohhh... whiskey! Excuse me a minute. *is gone for 20 minutes and is missed by no one* Riiiiiiiiight I feel muuuush better now, don' I, kittiesh? Missed me much? *looks around to no response* Alsho *hiccups* Ryth y-you shcoundrel whoever you are (I don't know who you are), not a trashe of Gollum or exchitable or whatever the heck it is you are. SHAME! SHAME! *rings a whiskey bottle like it's a bell* SHAAAAAAME! Right about theesh Shpiked, they won't be no problem. Me kittiesh may be small and oh so fluffy, but their cunning green eyes and their incredible shenshe of shmell will find the Shpiked wherever they hide, and their savage teeth and claws will slice the Shpiked to pieshes. Thush there ish no need to panic, the kittiesh will find theesh Shpiked rashcals and bring me their bloody heads on shpikes, jusht as they bring me dead shparrows and chipmunksh, as a shign of their *hiccups, drinks more whiskey* love. FLY MY KITTIES! FLY! BRING THEM TO ME! *throws a bunch of whiskey bottles into the air*
  5. Madagascar
    *nothing of Matilda can be seen, only a pile of rags in the corner* *the rags wave a bottle in the air* *the rags point to the bottle and make a thumbs up sign, then point to a lump that is apparently Matilda's head and make a very insulting gesture* *then the rags go back to petting a bunch of cats that look a lot like plague rats* Technically I only signed up as a drunk. The insane part is just how I come off to everyone, apparently. I'm sure this has no repercussions for my life expectancy.
  6. Madagascar
    More villagersh? Grrrrrr! More villagersh, more shushpishuns, more people to drag poor Matilda out of her bed and try an' burn her at the shtake. Matilda knowsh at her age she'sh too old to make friendsh, sho she thinksh everyone she meetsh is an enemy who is going to tie her to the ducking shtool or burn her at the shtake or shteal her catsh. Look, Matilda will do her besht to find the shpiked before the shpiked shteal her catsh and then shteal all her whishkey and make poor Matilda go catshless and shober at the shame time, but don't expect her to remember, like, ANY of your namesh. You're all jusht filthy non-catsh to Matilda. Also GET OFF HER LAWN. The lawn is for the catsh! *Matilda hunches over and scurries from shadow to shadow, clutching an empty whiskey bottle in her arms and petting it like a kitten*
  7. Madagascar
    I'm jusht here for five minutesh and already the ack-you-shay... ackyoushash.... finger-pointing shtarts! Can't an old crone like me jusht retire to my one-room shack full of alcohol and cats in peashe? I'm jusht Drunk Matilda and I ain't shpiked or Shean Connery, and I certainly didn't cause ol' Farmer McGee's dairy cows to go sour after they trampled me favorite catsh.
  8. Madagascar
    Creepy? *sob* That hurtsh my feelingsh sho bad, I mean, that makesh me sho mad, I'm going to retreat from human shociety and live with my ONE HUNNERD PERSHENT REAL CATSH and talk about how mean everyone is to old cronesh like me. And alsho figure out what to brew for more alcohol becaush I'm going through my old supply of fermented mush pretty fast what with all thish Shpike related shtress. I hope I don't have to sacrifice one of the catsh again.
  9. Madagascar
    Oh nah, don't worry, I'm not moving me handsh to me purse, Canuck. What do I look like to you, shumeone who ishn't a hideoush, pennilessh drunken husk of a lonely old woman? My alcohol and my cats are all I *hic* need, which is good because that is alsho literally all I possess. *wipes stray droplets of alcohol from face using stray cat*
  10. Madagascar
    A puddle o' vomit ish often me only cushion after a long night'sh drinkin'. The catsh are too independent to stand being used as blanketsh, even after all I've done for them, like relocating them to a hellish village plagued by vicioush Shpiked. Don't listen to him kittiesh, you can eat whatever you want.
  11. Madagascar
    *screeches incoherently* Matilda the Mad, deformed old cat lady who lives at the edge of town. The villagers don't recognize me, kitties. That's reasonable. We've just moved to this village. All the other villages have cast us out because they are backward bumpkins who blame all their misfortunes on childless crones who talk constantly to their invisible cats. But it's all right. I'm sure this will be a great new start for us. I mean, I may be 80 years old and have lived a life of misery, social ostracism and alcoholism, but that's no reason I (and my cats) can't start afresh in an environment free of social hysteria, small-town spitefulness, gossip, and mass paranoia- Hey wait, why are the gates being nailed shut? Why is there a gallows in the village square? *Matilda grabs a flask out of her filthy robes and starts drinking heavily* Great, just great. And I'm sh-sh-shuuure no one'sh going to shcapegoat poor little old Matilda for all the bad thingsh that are gonna happen. Because THAT'SH never happened before, right kittiesh? Well, at least I can alwaysh go back to me drunkennessh to get me through theesh dark, dark timesh... plus all my catsh... *no one sees any cats*
  12. Madagascar
    I was just a spectator but this was fun to spectate. I already play this somewhere else so I doubt I'd have time to sign up here too, but I always like watching the games here quite a lot. Good job, players and GMs!
×
×
  • Create New...