It was kind of funny. "Well, we can't come this weekend, but we could probably make next weekend. I mean, I'd prefer to stay home and not skip out on the trick-or-treaters, but if you really want us to..." And her response was, no, no, we'll find another time. I felt kind of bad about doing it, but that sort of thing actually offends her less than just being direct. It's weird.
There's a huge streak of passive-aggressive that runs in that side of the family. What's hilarious is that my mom, grandmother, and aunt all recognize the tendencies in each other, just not in themselves. Me, I recognized it in myself when I was in my 20's and deliberately went on an internal P/A killing spree. But I have to be careful, because the seeds are still there. I can't let them sprout. Constant Vigiliance!