TwiLyghtSansSparkles

"So I'm just sitting there, drinking a glass of water, when Lucentia--" "Wait, you worked for Lucentia?" "Yeah." "Wow, I'm sorry. That really sucks." "Yeah, try being the one who has to brush her hair every morning." "What does she do?" "She talks. The whole time." "Do you need a hug?" Wow, a TVTropes reference and a pun all in one joke.

It's coastland. You know, with all these High Epics, I might just add a vanilla to my characters in addition to The Financier. Maybe a quiet serving girl who has gotten real tired of Lucentia's crap. I know, right?

It's almost like the different area threads are different intensity levels, like they have for theme park roller coasters. Portland: Medium-high intensity. Powerful Epics, though none approaching Steelheart's level, roam the city and attempt to carve out territory. Evil necromancer's, Knight Templar illusionists, human Basilisks, and matter manipulators with something close to a split personality are welcome. The Dalles: Medium intensity. Epics here are essentially in rehab, though flashbacks to a certain Deathless Epic may be disturbing. Beware crime rings and knights in shining armor. Astoria: High intensity. Four High Epic despots and a living trollface rule this town. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. Yeah. Good thing we don't have any Epics who raised living dinosaurs from skeletons, right?

Yes indeed.

I was going to comment, but when I tried to listen to the thing, my computer decided its version of Flash needed updating. So I tried to update, but then my computer was all "No, I'm not going to let you update," and now I have to go to work, so boo. Boo to you, Adobe Flash. Also, I don't know if I'll write the rest of "Kidnap the Lightywards." You know that part where Lock, Shock and Barrel are arguing about the best way to kidnap Santa? Well, I realized that it would be Funtimes arguing with Nathan, which was fine until I realized that these two lines would almost certainly be a part of their argument. So, yeah, it would get pretty dark.

First he came and took my friends Tied them up and shoved them in That stupid nasty trunk of his Took them off to kill them dead! So I've got an awesome plan To catch this evil killer man I'll stuff him in a boiling pot And when he's done I'll have him shot!

And now I have an urge to write "Kidnap the Lightywards" as sung by Funtimes when she finds her friends missing.

That. Was. Amazing. Taken from "What Happened in Portland," page 47, I presume?

His Moral Event Horizon came on that fateful day he had to provide the power for a hospital, and he mysteriously shut down…..

Here it is! "This is Oregon." Feel free to clean up my rhymes or suggest better ones.

I can attempt a "This is Halloween" remix for Oregon.... On an unrelated note, the "Nyan Nyan Rock Remix" really does enhance Lightwards' scenes.

Sorry. My bad on that one.

It was a joke.

Okay, I doubt we're going to agree on this, so I propose we drop it. When you mentioned teleporters and range a few pages ago around the time Funtimes was mentioned hypothetically taking CorpseMaker to the moon, it seemed in context like you were saying she was OP, at least where her teleporting is concerned.

Is his attribute-sapping intentional, unintentional, or a bit of both? For instance, does he have to focus on a tiger shark to deliver a punch with the force of its bite, or is that automatic? And does he have to be touching the tooth of the shark whose attribute he wants to take, or can it be any shark tooth?

I added a bit to Soulflicker (changes in italics). What do you think? Epic Name: Soulflicker Primary Ability: Can drain the life force of those he chooses; can drain up to 3 people at a time and his power is restricted to vanillas; those he drains go into a trance-like state throughout this process; he can choose whether to leave them alive and weakened or drain them completely; his strength is proportionate to how much strength and how many people he has drained recently Secondary Ability: Blood control—Blood contact with a person speeds the draining process. Drinking a sample of their blood would kill them instantly, granting him their strength, strong memories, and some skills and intelligence. He cannot gain an Epic's abilities by drinking their blood; however, he can leave them weakened and out of sorts Passive Ability: Life-sensing—Soulflicker can sense the strength of those around him; Epics emit a somewhat stronger "signal" than vanillas; he cannot sense powers (just as he cannot sense a vanilla's specific skills) but he can sense how strong their powers are, just as he can sense the relative strength and endurance of a vanilla

I've always thought the Superstition would be a good name for a pirate ship.

Cool. One edit coming up.

I got the impression he was containing them. Which do you like better: she sees, or she's so annoyed she doesn't notice?

I hope that last post was in-character enough for Reader and tormenting enough for Backtrack. (Though if what I described Reader as doing didn't fit, let me know and I'll change it.)

Sincerity, from an Epic, was like a unicorn. Beautiful. Magnificent, even. Good luck, more likely than not. But, more than anything, an Epic's sincerity was rare, rumored to be a myth. Remington Springfield was one of the few lucky enough to have seen it. And now, unless the more serious twin was a pathological liar, Autumn had seen it too. An Epic who could see the past. A pair of twins from Portland, with knowledge of the turf wars. Autumn's head spun with images of the City Guard solving crimes deemed unsolvable, of Vondra preparing the Guard for whatever threats might wander over from Portland. No more humans framed for crimes that couldn't be pinned to any Epic in particular. No more wondering about which Epics might try to take The Dalles next. Lives would be saved, reputations cleared, battles won before they had to be fought at all— Reader's door opened and closed. "Glass, Reader's ready for you. Wants you to take Backtrack to our—" The soldier, a young woman named Jordan McKenzie, pressed her lips together and cut her eyes toward the door. "Healer." Autumn stifled a sigh. So Reader had been bragging again. He did that from time to time, whenever he thought mentioning Koschei's name might drive someone to frustration—and when he decided to go down that path, he insisted upon taking everyone in The Dalles with him. Referring to Dr. Game as anything but the town's healer would earn the guilty party a list of their secrets, plus analysis provided to whoever happened to be within earshot. Autumn was not in the mood. Reader had already dissected every event in her relatively short life and paraded each one of her character flaws before whoever wanted to see. She didn't need another round of that. Autumn nodded to the soldiers. "Let them go. If they're telling the truth about that glass, they'll be fine with just an armed escort." She opened the door, giving the past-seeing Epic a smile and a wave. How he saw anything through those pink sunglasses of his was anyone's guess, but she had seen worse costumes. "Hi there. Autumn Glass, not an Epic." Her gaze rested on the bullet wound marring his arm, which seemed to have been temporarily bandaged by some sort of contained wind. Instincts told her to touch it gently, let him feel cared for, but it was safer to wait until she knew whether or not he had a secondary. She winced. "That looks like it hurts. Why don't you come with me and the twins, and I'll take you to our…healer." The pink-sunglassed Epic cringed visibly at the word, so Autumn decided to send him some veiled encouragement. Better if he knew not everyone in The Dalles was a fan of the late Deathless One. "He's the best healer we've ever had," she said, raising her hands to form air quotes around the word healer. She shot Reader a glare, saw he was shaking, and frowned. Had the past-seeing Epic taken Reader back to the moment of Koschei's death? Was that why he looked nearly as shaken as Reader? Whatever the case, Reader's momentary fear bought her enough time to leave his office unaccompanied by insults. She tilted her head toward the door, which was held by one of the soldiers. "Come on, let's go. And I don't think I caught any of your names?"

"Vondra leaped from the helicopter, as he did every Tuesday. One never knew when such a skill would be needed, and he thought it best to stay sharp." Sharkbait ooh-ha-ha! (Needless to say, I like the name. )

Make it Copter-Jumping Tuesday in the RP.

Since Reader didn't set it up for the healer remark, can I come up with a way to fit that in?

I think Autumn, unless you had something planned for Backtrack. ...if she can escape the Non-Denominationator!