Kobold King

He's grey and had a very fierce temperament as a kitten. He's almost a full-grown cat now, but he still sits on my lap most days while I'm on the computer. His litter was born while I was reading Words of Radiance, so his most regal-looking sister is named Jasnah.

I love the name, but that would be very strange for me since I named one of my cats "The Blackthorn."

Storage's main quest in the game is to locate the mysterious "Epic in White" who murdered his brother years before. (I love them both. )

There's a particularly vicious-looking raptor not far from where he's greeting the guests, still emitting a low growl. A little further into the jungle backdrop there's an Allosaurus standing by for orders.

So... how badly would Funtimes hurt Lightwards if he responded with "Just a trifling piece of Empire engineering. Come look at my dinosaurs now." ?

Or we could go full meta and say "women who are attracted to him." Actually, that could be kind of neat. Not to mention hard to exploit...

Sounds like a plan. Soon the hell-gates of Project Hyde will be unleashed, and our enemies will be powerless to fight. All that they will be capable of is... hiding.

I may or may not have any idea what Chicago Joe's weakness is. (I would make a terrible Reckoner. I can't even figure out the weaknesses of Epics I created. ) Personally I think it would be best for someone Aldo brought in to go next. Purple Phoenix perhaps, as he might want to explain himself to the Empire?

I'm pretty sure a satirical romance cutie mark would look like this or this. It's already pretty clear that Koschei's going to be a despicable character. And thanks to the magic of time travel, Mr. Springfield's blessing isn't nearly as comforting. Who goes next in Oregon? With so many player characters gathered in a single place, the building blocks of reality turn order have become obscured.

Double post for visibility reasons. At 4250 I joined the ranks of the Unmade.

I write callbacks now. Callbacks are cool. (Page 31 stands as one of my favorite single pages in the RP. I think a lot of its awesomeness stemmed from its largely improvised nature.) Frenemy-zoned? That post all on its own accumulated more upvotes than any post I've put in Oregon. Maybe writing cheesy satirical romances is my special destiny? (Möbius and Koschei? Getting along well in canon? I'm already going to have nightmares from that thought. ) I'm definitely looking forward to the Funtimes revelations. (One little question--we've discussed having Lightwards witness Quota's demise. If they're within the same vicinity, could we arrange having Quota giving Lightwards a shot of depression before he gets killed off?)

Next?

Thanks. (As a side note, remember the post where Sam first guessed Nathan's secret? When I first sat down to write that scene, it was supposed to end with her offering him a muddy ibuprofen from the gift shop. I started writing on a tangent though, so much cooler things happened instead. It still amused me to add a callback to the original plan, though. ) A sleep order is definitely something they could manage to record. Once Lightwards learns about what the tailor did to his coat, he'll start making sure his Warriors get some rest so they can serve him with the utmost efficiency. Funtimes and her vanillas are currently my favorite sub-faction. It'll be really interesting to watch her characterization continue from here. I think a Prof-like direction is the coolest direction she can go in right now, since as enjoyable as it is to see her trap Lightwards in tar, I've also really enjoyed her more sympathetic moments. The times when she indicates how much she cares about being liked and keeping her friends happy.

All right-y. Posted. At some point the Empire's going to have to start offering lodging for its members. Lightwards doesn't want to sleep in Quickslide's old room every night, and I doubt these new Epics will be happy about sleeping out in the open with Nighthound staring at them.

"You'd know all about consequences, wouldn't you, Emperor?" Lightwards shot his head around, glaring at the hunter. The man was shooting him a glare to rival the raptor's, his fingers occasionally itching for the rifle on his back. Lightwards ground his own teeth and met his gaze. He'd at first assumed the man to be a hidden Epic--who else would dare speak to his betters with such contempt? It was clear now though. This hunter was just another pet with no respect for those placed above him. Same as Traveler. Same as the goth girl. Same as the young hippie woman. Just a mortal man with an unfathomable grudge against authority. And absolutely no threat at all. Lightwards turned away from him with what he hoped was a derisive sniff, instead focusing on Funtimes. "They'll be quiet," The Doctor was saying, zipping her hand across her mouth. "If you're nice to them." "Yep," added the hunter, "Hold up your end, we'll hold up ours." Once again, Lightwards couldn't help but to snap around and glare at the man. Standing there with his cocked eyebrow, looking somehow furiously pleased with himself. Doesn't that man know when to shut up? Lightwards felt his mouth opening to fire off an angry reply of his own, but was interrupted by the sound of opening doors. "Hello floating museum!" a man's voice was yelling. "Backtrack and friends are in--" There was a quiet argument in the entrance hall before Aldo the Enigmatic entered the jungle with a flourish of his cape. Lightwards gave a final glare at Funtimes. "It's good to be in agreement," he hissed to her. "Keep the vanillas in their place during this meeting, and I won't say a word to them." He turned to Sightline. He had started the discussion with a slight amiability towards the blindfolded man, but it had all evaporated after he'd sought an important decision from Funtimes. "There's a neutral suburb to the west," he told the Epic impatiently. "Cross the river and head slightly to the south, and you should find a demolished part of town. I own a house nearby to the wreckage. Tell Altermind that if he ventures to this place after sunset, he will find me and my lieutenants waiting for him at the Sadry residence." Giving Sightline a final nod, he strode away from them and towards Aldo. "You returned my belonging?" he demanded of the magician. "I would hate to think fetching a single Warrior is beyond your ability." "No need to fret, Emperor," Aldo assured him. "We failed to find Mrs. Regway, but I believe you'll be pleased with our crop..." The magician snapped his fingers and the Museum's front doors swung open again. Lightwards had his mouth open with a retort, but it died on his lips. Through the open doors came a veritable crowd of Epics, all entering single file and meeting his gaze as Aldo introduced them. "This is Purple Phoenix, but he doesn't mind if you call him 'Jeffy.' This is his lovely wife, Saccharine; she likes needles. Here are the momentum twins, Impact and MV. There's Backtrack in the sunglasses... ah, this fine gentleman is Fade, the most stylish of the bunch! He travels with his grandson here, Sandman. Let's see... you've met my assistant Cricket, and I still don't know who the tie-dyed lady is. But there you have it!" Lightwards stared at the group for a minute before a wide smile stretched across his face. In a single round of meetings, the Empire's size had more then doubled. He slowly turned to the magician, who was watching his face in anticipation. "Aldo the Enigmatic," Lightwards said, still smiling. "I believe you just made first lieutenant status." Aldo beamed broadly. "They're not that bad," Nathan assured her, chuckling. "Really." Sam gave a slight hmph and stared out into space. "Sounds good," Nathan was continuing. "I'll figure something out for her. Something colorful, a little weird. She'll like it." There was a silence after that. No more ideas pouring in, no more planning. They had a plan settled; either they carried it out and escaped to freedom, or they'd face the good Doctor's wrath in the attempt. Finally, it was Revolution who got off her stump and brushed away some loose woodchips. "It's great to have a plan," she said in a hushed voice, smiling at the pair of them. "We need to make sure we get plenty of chances to talk in private." "Definitely," Sam agreed. "Lightwards likes to talk, but he has that minor drawback of wanting to kill us all." She grinned at Nathan. "Thanks for not wanting to kill us, Nathan." "We really do admire your lack of murderous intent," Revolution told him. "It makes you a much better conversationalist." She craned her neck behind her, watching the distant Epics. "It looks like Lightwards got some new teammates," she added, an impish smile spreading across her face. "Shall we make their acquaintances?" "Count me in," replied Sam. "Might as well show 'em what they'll have to put up with in this place." She hopped to her feet, then looked at Nathan. His hand was still absently rubbing at his side. "Need an ibuprofen?" she suggested, "I was gonna offer you one of the muddy ones we found in the gift shop, but I could ask Funtimes to whip you up a few." "That would probably be the healthier option," Revolution laughed. "Yeah, I don't want to kill him with bad medicine," Sam replied, laughing herself. She cast a glance at Nathan, then shot him a mischievous wink. "Anymore."

I'm writing up the next Museum scene right now. TwiLyght, do you think the impromptu Vanilla Sabotage meeting has drawn to a close by this point? I was going to have Sam and Revolution start talking about the new Epics in the museum and suggest going to get a look at them.

Cool. I loved the post, but Quota's grip keeps me from using the green arrows to express my enthusiasm. Now would actually be a good time for them to show up in the main hall. Lightwards needs something to devote his attention to so he doesn't fly off the handle at Funtimes and Remington. Am I going next, bringing Aldo and friends into the building?

Makes sense. And I like to think that the Unicyclist is the most badchull, most dedicated character in the entire RP. Vanilla Sabotage will probably try to cut Remington in on their plans. How would he react to this prospect?

I like it. * insert thumbs-up gif here * Also, why do I get the feeling that neither Remington nor the Unicyclist are interested in escape?

It seems like it could go a lot of different ways. Funtimes could respond to Lightwards' tantrum speech. Nighthound could say something inappropriate. Lucentia could say something inflammatory. Aldo and co. could show up and make everything even more confusing than it already is. Maybe we should draw straws or something?

That song really is perfect in so many ways. Right. Aldo's big crowd of recruits will be joining any minute now, and the first thing Backtrack will do is start showing off. When he does, Lightwards will covertly tell him to pack his bags and head off. After the big deal Funtimes made about asking Lightwards if he was her friend, he assumed that she was referring to him as such. He would personally never identify himself as a friend of hers. I was assuming the Talking Stick would go to Funtimes next, but if you think you could squeeze another reaction in, I'd certainly like to see it.

"Any date ideas for a guy whose girlfriend thinks Calamity is the Flying Spaghetti Monster?" Nathan said with a nervous smile. Sam stared at him with an eyebrow cocked for a moment. "You're kidding. About the Spaghetti Monster, I mean." From the look on his face, he wasn't kidding. Sam bit her lip to keep herself from laughing and thought for a minute. "She definitely likes parties," she suggested finally. "Anything whimsical, really. I get the feeling she's kind of fed up with the stuck-up Epics she's working with, so she'll probably like us more if we follow in her footsteps. You know, act random and spread pink things everywhere." She sighed and raised a foot off the ground. "Which means I'll probably have to act way more pleased about these shoes than I am." Lightwards' eye twitched. He thought that he had made it perfectly clear who was in charge of this Empire. He had the dinosaurs. He had the Warriors. He had shown everyone how willing he was to wield them against anyone who stood in his way. Calamity, he was the one who'd came up with this idea in the first place. And yet, Sightline turned not to him with talk of representatives, but to the Epic who was least suited towards any kind of decision-making. For a moment, it almost seemed that Doctor Funtimes didn't want to deal with this matter any more than Lightwards wanted her to. But her eyes glittered over him, causing her pursed lips to spread into a wide grin. "Representatives are for baby meaniefaces," she explained happily, patting Sightline on the cheek. "If Altermind wants a meeting, I'm going myself and taking all my friends." Well, at least she acknowledges just how much she needs me, Lightwards thought irritably. She wouldn't be bringing me up if she didn't realize how much she needs my rationality for this-- Then her vanilla hunter spoke. "Who's your friend here, Doc?" "You, duh!" she giggled in reply. "And Traveler, and Sam, and Revolution, and the Unicyclist. They're all my friends." She paused long enough to giggle in an even more bubbly manner, smiling cheekily at Lightwards. "You can come too, if you want." Lightwards tried hard not to let his jaw drop. This was not happening. His carefully planned Empire was not being usurped by this pink tyrant, this glittering... usurper. He'd raise his gun now if he thought it wouldn't turn to cheese in his hand. He'd order the dinosaurs to advance and kill everyone in the room if he believed for an instant they wouldn't be trapped in tar or taffy the moment they stepped forward. Clearly this was not the time to strike back against her. But to Calamity was he going to have those idiots of hers snarking around like the spoiled brats they were during an important conference. He walked forwards, giving Funtimes an icy smile of his own. "My coming was never disputed," he told her, letting his cold rage filter into his tone. "This is, after all, my Empire, built from my plans and my Warriors and my blood." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You're welcome to stand by my side when I meet with my allies. I'm sure your input will be quite valuable." Now he paused. He had to find some way of appeasing her while still drawing the line somewhere. "Traveler as well," he added, "is a bright young Epic. He's welcome to speak at our meeting." Traveler at least knew some semblance of respect, aside from those smug smiles of his. "Your vanillas keep their mouths shut during the meeting," he finished, meeting Funtimes gaze. "I won't have them disrespecting Altermind while we discuss matters of consequence."

That's my curse? Life is good.

The fridge operates by stopping the flow of time within a localized area. I wouldn't recommend putting your hand in it. I wish to own a former time traveler's scrapbook filled with pictures of past eras.

Right-o. Also, I keep thinking of this song as our vanillas plot against Funtimes.