Kobold King

Or, we go with the original plan and kill him as soon as humanly possible.

On the bright side, having a jealous omniscient girlfriend will keep him from stripping and being a creeptastic slontze to any of Portland's other pretty girls... right?

Probably a good thing for Seth "Animals don't wear clothes" Nathsha.

Most certainly agreed. Teleportation is not OP--that's just a typical superpower. It's no more OP than pyrokinesis, or the ability to kill with a stare, or super strength, or any of the other hundreds of superpowers available in the Reckonerverse. The only time I consider a character overpowered is generally when they have an overabundance of superpowers. Like the characters who are super strong, can teleport, can blow up buldings with their minds, are invulnerable to all harm, can resurrect when killed, and can summon cheese sandwiches all in the same power set. That's a problem, as it defeats the fun of having superpowered beings duking it out on the streets when one character has practically every power in the book. It also goes against the spirit of Steelheart, in that the titular character was considered one of the most feared Epics in the state because of his abnormally high number of powers. I guess my point is, teleportation puts Timeport above the level of nearly any human in the state, but that's the point of the Reckonerverse. It still allows for interesting interactions with other Epics, and any character who makes the thread interesting is powerful but not overpowered.

Alright. Have fun!

I can't imagine any circumstances in which Neverthere would allow that maniac anywhere near her physical location. So I hope Timeport's fine with long distance.

...Sudden horrifying question for you, Twi. If Koschei and Mobius got into a relationship... and Mobius became pregnant with Koschei's son... how would Koschei react?

Obviously. Koschei and Mobius are made for each other and Ray and the Unicyclist are totes adorbs, but Arsenal/Scribbler just makes things weird.

It's kind of weird that Arsenal's a kindergartener while Vondra's an adult, considering that in canon he's the older of the two. But that's a nit of the most nitpicking degree. That was awesome.

Hey! Watch what you say; that's my friend you're talking about.

I'm the third post down on this thread.

Sheesh. I post a rambling and incohesive story about myself being a space dragon, and I call that a good crazy day's work? Bravo, Lark. Bravo. Even if that Frankenwolf needs to be killed with fire...

"Me? An Epic? Whaaaat? No, buildings just randomly blow up when I walk past them, honest!"

I am the space dragon. I am the epic serpent. I am the length that coils around creation. My scales are black as the void between stars, and in my eyes shimmer the lights of a billion galaxies. My fangs are light years long, their roots wider than solar systems and their points sharper than atoms. To stare into my face is to stare into eternity. In my foremost claw I hold a planet pinched between my claws, a tiny blue green sphere I found as a newly hatched space dragon. I hold it up to my cosmic eye, peering down at the tiny little creatures that crawl about its surface. For thousands of years I watched them bicker and war amongst each other. I saw hatred and ugliness in their hearts. At times I considered flicking the little blue pebble into its sun, to cleanse its filthy people with nuclear fire. But each time I tried I stayed my claw, convinced by some nagging in the back of my infinite mind to let them live another century. Another age, it pleaded. Give them another age, and they will show you beauty. And so I waited. The millennia passed like ticks of a clock to my all-encompassing eyes, but to my weary view it seemed to last forever. It seemed all the little primates ever did was fight and torment one another. In one age they learned to cultivate fields and forge steel, and immediately turned on their less advanced neighbors. In another age they crossed one of the great oceans of their world, only to slaughter their kin on the other side. In the latest age, they discovered how to split atoms themselves, and immediately utilized the god-like energy they'd produced to murder entire cities. I tired of their senseless violence. Ignoring the pleading voice in my mind I lifted the world on high, determined to fling it into a nether-dimension and have it consumed by the flame-hounds for all eternity. But in the last moment before I could destroy the speck, I saw a single beautiful glimmer of light from its surface. It was a single witty primate with a story to tell. I watched in awe as he hatched a vision of the cosmos, an epic story arc that told the tale of gods and magic and lost forlorn spirits. I watched in admiration as he put that vision on paper, in stories that made me laugh, cry, and love. I, who had watched stars burn at the end of their lives--I, who had watched entire galaxies grow cold--I, who had watched the universe itself be born in a fiery explosion at the Beginning of all things... was impressed. The microscopic primate had impressed the great space dragon. Though to my eyes the life of a star seemed only to take a second, the infinitesimal ticks of time in between his novels were far too long for my liking. So for the first time, I deigned to speak to the little primates. Because they, like myself, were impressed with the witty one's writing, and were eager to discuss the wonder of his words. My forked tongue, an ethereal force transposed over the fabric of reality, graced the servers of their Internet and began to Speak. Earthlings, rejoice! Sing in praise of the primate that tamed the Dragon. Sing in praise of the primate that saved his world from the one who felt it held no merit. Sing not of your wars and petty bickering, but of the basic creativity that's kindled in every one of you, waiting to be unleashed. When you look at the sky, see not the great space dragon, but see reflected in my eyes the beauty of your species. And rejoice. Ooookay I have no idea where all that came from. The truth is, I'm a hairy, dusty teenager with no redeeming physical characteristics. The space dragon is way cooler. : P

... Eep. Yes ma'am.

HoA:

Ah, that makes sense. So a story about what would have happened if Lightwards didn't have a zombie limit would go on the WHOOC thread, but a story about the life and times of the Lord of the Silverfish would go on FoO?

You should have gone with the old classic. "Wow! You're so pale for a minute I thought you were a snowman, lol!" (* does not have a girlfriend *)

I love Mr. Mime. So, out of curiosity, what is the difference between the WHOOC thread and the Fanfics of Oregon thread in practice? What kind of shorts should go in which thread?

My audience was my mother. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm funny but just doesn't like to admit it.

Huh. Really? I knew coffee caused dehydration, but somehow I never made the link between drinking coffee and doing hard labor being a bad idea. Sometimes I think it's a miracle I survived my childhood.

Or run around in circles in a big empty field until you literally collapse, laying in the dust for a while as goats and chickens come to sniff at you and vultures swoop low to see if you've expired. It worked for me!

Note to self and the community at large. If a woman shows you her new red shoes, the correct response is not "Nice! Squish any wicked witches lately?" Just thought I'd share my hard-earned wisdom with you folks.