Starbound: The story I need help writing!

[2EmLee2]

Hello! I'm writing a story and I want help/advice/critique!

The story is titled "Starbound" as the magic system is based around stars and starlight. I've used this magic system before with my FotT character, as I've had this story/magic system brewing in the back of my mind for a long time.

The Magic System

Spoiler

So, where to start! First off, the Invested entities of this system are called "Starbound." To become a Starbound, you must have a pioneering spirit and good, pure intentions. Before they become Starbound, they are considered "Starborn." You are either born a Starborn or you aren't, and it's impossible to tell if someone is a Starborn or not. To gain the actual powers, a Starborn must find a Starstruck rock, which is basically a rock that is usually the size of a lemon. There is always something unique about the rock, whether it be a hidden geode or tiny layers of colorful strata. To any passerby, the rock would just seem like a rock, but to Starborn, they always know that it's special in one way or another. The rocks are just laying in wait around the world to be found by the Starborn.

The abilities of a Starbound are varied, but all have one thing in common: Starlight. A Starbound can call down Starlight and use it to do stuff. The "stuff" is the varied part. Starlight is can be used for almost anything imaginable, so each Starbound has a unique power set. Here are some examples:

• The ability to create things- Basically forming the Starlight into any form of matter. When Starlight is in this form, things like Leechers and Larkins can steal the Light, just as they could any other Investiture. The Starlight will act as the material, but if a Starbound creates something like an allomantic metal and a Mistborn tries to burn it, nothing will happen. Same thing if the Mistborn tries to Push or Pull on the Starlight when formed into a metal. If a Starbound forms the Starlight into food, it will taste and feel like that food, but as soon as you swallow it, the Light dissipates back into the stars.
• The ability to heal- It's probably not what you think. Starbounds have the ability to form Starlight into tissue and bone and skin and things like that, so they can basically patch up wounds with new stuff. The Starlight basically creates a pattern for the body to follow to heal itself, but without the hindrance of having a wound. Starbounds can even help people grow back limbs by creating the limb out of Starlight so the body can heal the entire limb instead of just becoming a stump. The wound will act as though it never appeared, though there still might be some pain or odd feelings in the limb, though.
• The ability to speed up the growing process on a cellular level- Pretty much the Surge of Progression, but only for plants. Pretty self-explanatory.
• The ability to increase personal strength- Some Starbounds can infuse their muscles with Starlight to make them stronger. Another one that doesn't need much explanation.
• Some more abilities that I won't bother explaining are:
  • The ability to teleport
  • The ability of telepathy
  • The ability of mind control of lesser living things (aka animals that are not very intelligent)

Starbounds run off of energy, so the more they use their powers, the more they feel tired. The more advanced the Starbound is at a certain power, the less energy gets taken up. For instance, if a Starbound specializes in the ability to create, it might only take ten units of energy, but if they then try to heal a person who lost an arm, it could take sixty units of energy. But, if that person tried something like increasing strength, it would take even more energy because regrowing a limb is still forming something out of Light.

There are a few weaknesses to the Starbound's abilities, though. The Starbound's abilities weaken the farther away their Starstruck rock is, and it's possible for someone with the right Intent to steal the Starbound's powers. I have not yet decided on the specifics, though I know that it is to be crucial to the story aspect of all this. Also, a Starbound can only call down Starlight if they are able to see the stars, or have seen the stars within the last undecided time period. (So, basically, to torture a Starbound, lock them deep underground and steal their Starstruck rock.)

The World/History/Culture

Spoiler

I haven't gotten far into the worldbuilding yet, except for the fact that the story is going to be set on another planet in a realistic utopia and some other small-ish things:

There is a new Starbound about every year, though there are sometimes "droughts" where there are no new Starbounds for a year or two or three, the longest gap between new Starbounds having been ten years. That period of time let to everyone rallying together and deciding they needed to step up their game if they want to continue having new Starbounds, because they believe that the stars are all dieties who can bestow their blessing unto a rock and make it Starstruck.

There is another realm in the Starbound's still un-named universe. It is like a plain white expanse that goes on for as much of what's been explored. This realm can only be accessed by Starbounds and anyone they bring along (though it would be tiring to do so.) In this realm there is a university where Starbounds come to train and harness their powers, which I'm thinking of calling Novalight University or something similar.

The Story/Plot

Spoiler

This story will follow two girls, who we'll call Snob and Meh for now as I decide their real names.

Meh is basically the most average of average on the outside and appears as such to everyone she interacts with.

Snob is a snob and thinks she should be the center of the universe, and lets everyone know that.

The basic plot is: Meh becomes a Starbound. Snob is jealous. Meh realizes she's special and deserves to be special. Snob steals Meh's powers. Meh comes to the conclusion that she can still be special without powers. Snob becomes increasingly corrupted. They battle and Meh gets her powers back and convinces Snob she can be special without powers, too. Then Snob might die, but I'm not sure. But if she does die, then she's gonna pull a Marvel Loki and come back to life.

Sooo, yeah! I will definetly come back and edit this when I get more inspiration/work on it more.

Edited October 27, 2021 by 2EmLee2
Corrections/new ideas

[Frustration]

5 hours ago, 2EmLee2 said:

So, where to start! First off, the Invested entities of this system are called "Starbound."

There is a university in the Cognitive Realm where Starbounds come to train and harness their powers which I'm thinking of calling Novalight University or something similar.

So is this a Cosmere fanfic?

 

[Channelknight Fadran]

Also the Macrosmos isn't a normal universe. It's a collection of all the universes ever, so saying that Starborns can "pop up anywhere in the Macrosmos" kinda ruins the whole idea. It's supposed to be a way for everyone's own universes to interact, not a large universe in and of itself open for worldbuilding.

[2EmLee2]

Frustration- No, it’s no Cosmere but has the same three-realm-setup thing.

Fadran- See, this is why I need help! I don’t know things like this!

[Frustration]

5 minutes ago, 2EmLee2 said:

Frustration- No, it’s no Cosmere but has the same three-realm-setup thing.

I'd advise revision then, unless you have no intrest in being paid for this.

[Channelknight Fadran]

Otherwise, I do love me a soft magic system!

[2EmLee2]

1 hour ago, Frustration said:

I'd advise revision then, unless you have no intrest in being paid for this.

I will think about that, thank you

[The Unknown Medallion he/him]

Three realms is far from out of the ordinary, it's the name that's the problem. Something like the Realm of the Mind would be fine.

[Frustration]

39 minutes ago, The Unknown Order said:

Three realms is far from out of the ordinary, it's the name that's the problem. Something like the Realm of the Mind would be fine.

And purpose, if they fill the same role with slightly tweaked names it's still within the bounds of copyright.

And even if somehow you get passed the courts it's not exactly something readers are fond of.

[2EmLee2]

I think I'll just think of something else for that, then 

[The Unknown Medallion he/him]

2 hours ago, Frustration said:

And purpose, if they fill the same role with slightly tweaked names it's still within the bounds of copyright.

And even if somehow you get passed the courts it's not exactly something readers are fond of.

That's not completely true. The concept of a place where everything's mind is far from unique to Brandon. Things are are pretty unique to Brandon:

World being smaller where minds aren't, beads, reversed land, and perpendicularities from most to least unique.

[Channelknight Fadran]

Body, mind, soul is a greek philosophical idea in origin, so it's not like you're robbing Brandon directly.