Puns of All Kinds

[Experience he/him]

1 minute ago, The_Archivist said:

Of chortles, please remember yourself.

No, Chortles are purposeful. When you laugh, it happens involuntarily.

[Experience he/him]

This one doesn't work as well typed but here goes. Guess what I heard? Sheep. Try and figure that out before looking at the spoiler.

Spoiler

It's supposed to be herd, but that doesn't work typed up.

 

Edited April 15, 2020 by Experience

[Destruction he/him]

I understand it now

here is another one The Deaf defendant waived his hearing

Edited April 15, 2020 by spren of destruction

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

28 minutes ago, The_Archivist said:

Of chortles, please remember yourself.

O My GOOSHY GOOSE!!! Wut is wrong with me! Thank you for reminding me. You are really living up to your reputation. (you welcome )

*chortles* remembering self *chortles*

27 minutes ago, spren of destruction said:

Please don't die You likely couldn't come back from the Cognitive Realm

tooshai.

and I do not know how to spell tooshai.

[Experience he/him]

Here are some more:

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literaly.

 

[The_Archivist he/him]

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

[Destruction he/him]

procrastinators of the world unite... Tomorrow

[Experience he/him]

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up

 

[Experience he/him]

I Googled "how to start a wildfire".

I got 48,500 matches.

[Destruction he/him]

When the traffic cop asked if he could retire, his boss gave him the green light.

When the apprentice Electrician missed curfew his mother grounded him.

If you're intent on hunting deer, make sure you have a game plan

[Guest]

[+Doomstick he/him]

Writing with a broken pencil is 

Spoiler

Pointless

 

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

4 minutes ago, The Last Post said:

Writing with a broken pencil is 

  Reveal hidden contents

Pointless

 

Heh heh.

Get to the point.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Just now, McWafy said:

Heh heh.

Get to the point.

I’m just going to erase that from my memory 

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

1 minute ago, The Last Post said:

I’m just going to erase that from my memory 

*fails to come up with another pencil pun* 

[Experience he/him]

3 minutes ago, The Last Post said:

I’m just going to erase that from my memory 

Lead me do it for you.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Gra-phite me!

[Experience he/him]

Just now, The Last Post said:

Gra-phite me!

Darn it, that was my next one!

Umm... Storms. I can't figure one out!

[+Doomstick he/him]

I’m drawing this out too long

[The_Archivist he/him]

I guess you aren't as sharp as you thought you were.

[Experience he/him]

Ya, I better go sharpen myself. (Yes I know that was bad)

[The_Archivist he/him]

Looks like I have not plead for nothing.

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

I am pleading you to stop with the pencil puns.

[+Doomstick he/him]

No(te)! Do not break the trend! I lead this movement, I will set it write! Besides, all your puns are mechanical

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

6 minutes ago, The Last Post said:

No(te)! Do not break the trend! I lead this movement, I will set it write! Besides, all your puns are mechanical

*aplauds* *cheers* *woots* Bravo, That .....was glorious. Well done.