Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Hey guys. I exist. I think. Last night, witnesses claim to have seen a number of wild grizzly bears rampaging throughout NYC. After eating all the policemen that tried to stop them the bears demanded that animals should get all of California as a reservation, since their rights as existing organisms have been severely limited thus far. One of the witnesses, who calls himself 'The Survivor of Hath Sin,' has agreed with the animals and is helping them capture humans and confine them to Central Park. *continue news report here, first person who wants to* 2
Snorkel Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 One bear was seen bounding down a New York street, growling "DON'T EAT THE COOKIEEEES!" 1
Chiri-Chiri she/her Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 (edited) Hi @AxeliustheGreat ! Did one bear hold a huge book? Was his butt tight? In that case, I'll join them!! Edited June 23, 2018 by Chiri-Chiri
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 23, 2018 Author Posted June 23, 2018 Yes, one of the bears identified himself as 'Dalinar Kholin.' The Survivor nearly shot coins into his face when he started talking about Lighteyes and Darkeyes. 1
+Ark1002 Posted June 24, 2018 Posted June 24, 2018 Another bear called himself Ke N. Ton, a bear who wanted control of Death Valley, and loves the taste of sand. He was attacked by Brand O Nsanderson, who hated the taste of sand. 1
Snorkel Posted June 25, 2018 Posted June 25, 2018 "I don't like sand! It's course and rough and it gets everywhere!" declared Brand O Nsanderson plagiaritively. 4
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 27, 2018 Author Posted June 27, 2018 "SHUT UP, ANI!" yelled Kelsier, knocking Brand O. Nsanderson over the head with a table leg. The bear declared that he could not abide Kelsier, and deserted Sadeas Army, only to be picked up by a passing Twinborn Steelpusher. 1
+Ark1002 Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 This Steelpusher then slowly trained the bear, so they could track down the other bears, beat them, then use their new army of bears to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! He renamed Brand O Nsanderson, his new name was..... Spoiler BART!!!!!!! Bwa ha ha!!! 1
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 28, 2018 Author Posted June 28, 2018 Bart became rather angry with the Steelpusher when he discovered that she was just using him as a simple killing machine, treating him as though he was a piece of machinery instead of a living, breathing, thinking bear. She, in turn, grew to hate the bear. They fought in an epic battle that ended in a draw when Archer offered them both cookies. 2
The Harlem Worldhoppers he/him Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 Little did they know that the cookies were loaded with hemallurgic spikes. The bear became a Steel Inquisitor by the name of...Tim. Tim and Bart gathered forces and decided to seek world domination as nobody expects the Steel Inquisition. 2
CrazyRioter she/her Posted June 28, 2018 Posted June 28, 2018 At this point everyone expects the steel inquisition. Admittedly, they probably don't expect bear inquisitors. 2
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 28, 2018 Author Posted June 28, 2018 Kelsier was, obviously, quite put-out by the whole Bear Inquisitor thing, so their rivalry began anew. Eventually, Kelsier discovered that the cookies Archer had given the bear and the Steelpusher had not been hemallurgically enhanced, since Archer has pledged himself to TUBA, and thus cannot give out hemalurgical goods. The eye-spikes had been plastic all along! 1
BitBitio he/him Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 And then a puppy licked Kelsier, Heralding a new age of peace and Harmony. The puppy was named Kalak. 1
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 29, 2018 Author Posted June 29, 2018 Kelsier had difficulty with whole 'peace' thing. He had never seen whatever 'peace' was. Thus, California became a reservation for animals, leaving hundreds of thousands of humans homeless, but nobody cared about humans any longer, so no one noticed. The bear 'Dalinar Kholin' started talking about integrating a 'Lighteyes' and 'Darkeyes' system, so Kelsier forced him to read Atlas Shrugged and all of Ayn Rand's other works.
Chiri-Chiri she/her Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, AxeliustheGreat said: Edited June 29, 2018 by Chiri-Chiri 1
Chiri-Chiri she/her Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 1 hour ago, AxeliustheGreat said: Kelsier had difficulty with whole 'peace' thing. He had never seen whatever 'peace' was. Thus, California became a reservation for animals, leaving hundreds of thousands of humans homeless, but nobody cared about humans any longer, so no one noticed. The bear 'Dalinar Kholin' started talking about integrating a 'Lighteyes' and 'Darkeyes' system, so Kelsier forced him to read Atlas Shrugged and all of Ayn Rand's other works. I suck at editing, sorry!! I said, "You mean 'Lightpaw' and 'Darkpaw' instead of a 'Lighteyes' and 'Darkeyes' system, don't you?" 6 minutes ago, BitBitio the Mudkip said: I'm sure he does. You're a Truthwatcher!!
Chiri-Chiri she/her Posted June 29, 2018 Posted June 29, 2018 Because you knew the answer before I could edit the question!!
Sherlock Holmes he/him Posted June 29, 2018 Author Posted June 29, 2018 Continue the news report, please. 1
+Ark1002 Posted July 2, 2018 Posted July 2, 2018 The world was then blown up by a ghanderflaffe. Want a cookie?
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