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Looking for beta readers


Kureshi Ironclaw

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So I recently finished the second draft of my first novel (currently titled Prophecy of the Vengeful) and have been looking for some people to beta read it. Brandon Sanderson has had a huge impact on my development as a writer and the development of this story, so I thought the 17S would be a good place to find some good beta readers.

I've had trouble distilling the book into a pithy elevator pitch (I'm working on it), because of how complicated the plot became over its development, but responses to early chapters so far have been positive. Here is a 3ish paragraph pitch, spoilered for length:

Spoiler

In the aftermath of a successful assassination gone awry, Mandel Reichen must flee his home country of Oricho. The Great Families’ vengeance on the Order of Knives for the assassination of the Emperor was total, leaving Mandel’s friends in the Order dead or scattered.

            Mandel arrives in the theocratic country of Algörien, determined to leave his life of violence behind. But almost immediately upon his arrival he is discovered by a mysterious man who offers him the job of assassinating the King Divine’s grandmother. The pay for the seemingly simple task is enough to set Mandel up for the rest of his life. Despite the strangeness surrounding the events of his hiring, Mandel agrees to the task, which ends up sending him on a wild chase across the country with an unlikely companion.

            Meanwhile in the capital, the newly coronated King Divine Ytaridr Kirien tries to exceed his late father’s rule. But as he uses his newly discovered magical powers to defend Algörien from the attacking Qaranaani raiders, the citizens, the rebellious Faith of the Dawn, and his close friends begin to worry about the danger he poses as a destructive force. Ytaridr is convinced his powers are the most effective thing to defend his country, but when the Prime Minister suggests they send an assassin to Qaranaan to solve their problem, he begins to acknowledge other options.

            As Mandel and Ytaridr pursue their goals individually, Elexial the Prophet of the Faith of the Dawn warns that their actions may have dire consequences they don’t anticipate. She speaks of a Prophecy which if fulfilled will release a malevolent god back into the world. But she is isolated in Algörien, a country controlled by the totalitarian Ministry which does not acknowledge the Faith of the Dawn’s doctrine. No one listens to her. And when she sees and feels pieces of the Prophecy being fulfilled, she begins to wonder if perhaps somebody somewhere is trying to see Damoc the Worldburner freed. To what purpose?

I will also add a content warning. This book gets quite violent, and sex -- while not overly graphic -- does occur. There are smatterings of foul language too. It's not George RR Martin level stuff, but reading George inspired me to begin writing this book and it will probably show throughout.

Another warning: This book is pretty long -- about 300k words (the length of Eye of the World) -- and is technically the beginning of a trilogy. I never anticipated it being this long when I first began writing. I knew my beginning, I knew my ending, I just had to fill in the gaps and set things in motion that would impact later books. Still, I've tried to make sure everything in the book is relevant. It's not long for the sake of being long; it's long because that is what I feel it needs to be at the moment. Hopefully a beta read will reveal to me the things I can cut.

I'm conducting the beta read in chunks of a couple chapters each (generally between 10k and 15k words each), to keep things moving quickly. Even at the pace of about a chunk a week (which is reoughly the pace of my other beta readers), this process will take about 6 months. I know it is a big commitment, but I would appreciate it dearly if some of you are keen to help me with this. I've put a lot of time into this book already and I really want it to do well. I am more than happy to read and critique work in exchange for this. Hit me up if you're interested.

I'll post the prologue too, so you can get a feel for my writing:

Spoiler

Gendrin knelt on the hard stones, eyeing the naked men and women chained to the dungeon walls – five of them in total. They were stinking and ragged, covered in filth. Their heads hung limply, filthy hair matted over their faces. All except one.

            The man stared straight ahead, eyes wide and unfocused, froth spilling from dry and cracked lips as he muttered unintelligibly. He’d been locked in here for decades but, for the moment, he couldn’t see the dungeon. Or Lord Teh-Lan standing tall only a few feet in front of him with his hands clasped behind his back, staring back at the man as if he too was in a trance.

            Gendrin shifted uncomfortably. It was unnerving to watch the Fatetellers in this state. The way they stared, as if disconnected from the world and time itself, was distinctly disturbing. Still, this was not as disturbing as when all of the Fatetellers had entered that state simultaneously almost five months ago. They had emerged from those visions thrashing and screaming about the end of the world. The future was not a pleasant place to be.

            Lucidity returned to the Fateteller’s eyes. He shuddered with a gasp and slumped in his chains, panting. Lord Teh-Lan stepped forward and stretched a smooth hand out of his voluminous robes, cupping the man’s chin and tilting his head upwards. He produced a water skin and set it to the man’s lips. The Fateteller drank eagerly, spilling water down his chin and into his unkempt beard.

            “What did you see?” Teh-Lan said.

            “I saw the tall one. The Orichan,” the man stammered. “He was in an alleyway in Belwörk – I could see the Keep’s shadow. His headdress was in a puddle. A man was speaking to him. He was holding a bag of coins, I think.”

            “Who was this man?”

            “He looked familiar, but I’m not sure…”

            Gendrin shifted his weight; kneeling for so long was bad for his knees. The Fateteller’s gaze turned on him, only now noticing that he was present. His eyes went wide.

            “That’s him there!”

            Gendrin’s skin prickled. Teh-Lan turned to him with curiosity. Thankfully, the Lord’s cowl shadowed his eyes. Teh-Lan’s eyes were even more unnerving to look at than a Fateteller’s. Only the lower half of the Lord’s face showed, his pale lips spreading into a thin sneer. This was the first time he had acknowledged Gendrin since he had arrived in Dimharrow. He turned back to the Fateteller.

            “When was this?”

            “Hard to say. It looked cold. Clouds; like it might rain. It was clear though. Maybe a couple of weeks.”

            “Did you see anything else of note?”

            The Fateteller hesitated. “There were more Orichans in the streets than normal.”

            Teh-Lan dropped the Fateteller’s head, letting the man’s chin drop into his chest, and turned to Gendrin. He was silent for a moment before he spoke. “I suppose this time it is fortunate that Vladt sent you in his place again.”

            “Vladt is very busy, my Lord,” Gendrin said.

            “So he is fond of claiming.” Teh-Lan scoffed. “Do you have the money?”

            “Yes, my Lord.”

            “Good. Take it with you to Belwörk. You’re going to find this Orichan assassin in an alleyway.”

            “How will I know which alleyway, and what time to be there?”

            “You’ll need to wander through alleyways with the money. If you’re fortunate, the future will come to you.”

            “What do I do once I find him?”

            Teh-Lan glanced around the dungeon. “I’ll figure that out once I have more information. You will depart immediately for Belwörk. Wait there for further instruction, and do not leave the city until you have encountered the assassin.”

            “Yes, my Lord.”

            Teh-Lan spun back around to stand with his hands clasped behind his back once more. Gendrin, understanding his dismissal, rose to his feet with a grunt and exited the dungeon.

 

 Cheers all!

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Everything looks really promising! I am tempted to say yes to your project, but I feel like I would not be able to honor my commitment. Depending on how things go my life will get crazy busy from March-July and I would not be able to make time for the endeavor. I also have never done anything like Beta reading before and don't know if I would be any good at it.

Anyways I just wanted to offer you encouragement and say if your book ever does make it to publication I would be willing to review a advance copy of it and only post the reviews on goodreads and amazon if it is 4 or 5 stars.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would accept, but I will not be the most influential beta reader. I will make suggestions, as I am currently writing my own book, but I'm no expert. Good luck getting this published. Is it on Word or Docs or is it handwritten? If it is on Docs, could you give a link? Or could you attach it?

Edited by Showman
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@Showman I have a pdf version divided up into small(ish?) chunks. I've been sending each chunk out with a questionnaire to get specific feedback for that section. I'm looking for the reactions of general readers and fans of the genre, so there is no need to be an expert. If you're writing, you've already got more experience than my other beta readers. If you're interested, let me know :)

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